The Meaning of Liff
Douglas Adams - 1983
This text uses place names to describe some of these meanings.
The Easy Way To Clean: How to clean your house using a three times faster method
Ian Stables - 2012
then this new 30 page 'to the point' book by Amazon best-selling author Ian Stables will show you how. It makes house cleaning, without scrubbing, possible.Unlike most books about house cleaning tips, this one isn't just filled with lots of similar.This is based on a method first developed years ago whilst working in a small hotel belonging to the author's, now late, father. With guests coming and going, cleaning had to be done quickly. His father used to be amazed how his son was able to clean a room, top to bottom, in just 5 minutes. It was because he had a method.The method is the result of developing a common sense way of cleaning.Cleaning your home is a lot faster and easier if you have a method that works. That's what this is. It gives you a simple method of cleaning your house in a much more efficient way. It makes cleaning and organizing rooms like your kitchen, bathroom, bedrooms and living room very easy.It also gives you a simple 15 minute system that will effectively de-clutter and organize your home. This system is easy and gives permanent rather than temporary results.The Easy Way To Clean: How to clean your house using a three times faster methodYou'll be able to...Know what you're doing and do it a lot fasterYou'll find out why having a plan makes it so much faster and easier. You get to know what this simple plan is.Tidy up a room in minutesUsing a simple step-by-step method you can easily tidy a room in just minutes.Clean rooms three times faster without scrubbingThis uses common sense and a simple plan. It makes everything easy and gets rid of the need for scrubbing. Unless absolutely necessary.Dust an entire room in just minutesForget spraying, polishing and buffing. You may not realize it, but traditional polishing can spoil the look of your furniture over time.Vacuum with minimum effortVacuuming often results in aches and pains and can take a lot of effort. Not any more. This method removes all that effort and makes it almost effortless.Clean glass without streaks in minutesThis doesn't involve vinegar or any traditional cleaning products. My ex-girlfriend used to always get me to do her glass because of the results I got. This method cleans glass in just minutes. No streaks.How to clean the entire house in one goA plan that cleans the entire house in one go using the methods you learn.Organize and de-clutter your home in just 15 minutes a dayForget about trying to spend a whole day organizing a room or the shed. That doesn't work. It only gives temporary results and takes a lot of hard work. Instead, follow a simple 15 minute daily plan.Sort and organize any area fastEasily sort and organize anything including cupboards, drawers, wardrobes, etc.Always keep things tidyThis simple method will allow you to keep in control. I used to have the kitchen looking like nothing had happened. The only things visible was the pans on the cooker cooking Sunday dinner.Start making it easy on yourself and learn this method today.
Learn Me Good
John Pearson - 2006
He has forty children, and all of them have different mothers..."Jack Woodson was a thermal design engineer for four years until he was laid off from his job. Now, as a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn't changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day.Learn Me Good is Jack's hilarious retelling of his harrowing rookie year, written as a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his former engineering coworker. Inspired by real-life experiences of rambunctious and precocious children, lesson plans gone awry, and incredibly outrageous quotes, this laugh a minute page turner will give you a new appreciation for educators. Jack holds a March Mathness tournament, he faces a child's urgent declaration of "My bowels be runnin'!", and he mistakenly asks one girl's mother if she is her brother. With subject lines such as "Irritable Vowel Syndrome," "In math class, no one can hear you scream," and "I love the smell of Lysol in the morning," Jack fills each email with sarcastic (yet loving) humor, insightful observations, and plenty of irreverent wit.If you've ever taught, you will undoubtedly recognize aspects of your own students in Jack's classroom. If you've never set foot in a classroom, you will still appreciate the funny quirks, behaviors, and quotes from the kids and adults alike."I teach, therefore I am...poor!"
The Book of Useless Information
Noel Botham - 2006
Then again, maybe not. But to The Useless Information Society, any fact that passes its gasp-inducing, not-a-lot-of-people-know-that test merits inclusion in this fascinating but ultimately useless book... Did you know (or do you care)...- That fish scales are used to make lipstick?- Why organized crime accounts for ten percent of the United States's annual income?- The name of the first CD pressed in the United States?- The last year that can be written upside-down or right side-up and appear the same?- The shortest performance ever nominated for an Oscar(R)?- How much Elvis weighed at the time of his death?- What the suits in a deck of cards represent?- How many Quarter Pounders can be made from one cow?- How interesting useless information can be?The Book of Useless Information answers these teasers and is packed with facts and figures that will captivate you--and anyone who shares your joy in the pursuit of pointless knowledge.
Dear Air 2000
Terry Ravenscroft - 2011
Meet the 38 stones man who has never flown before and stands fat chance of ever doing so. The man who thinks his distinct Turkish looks won't go down very with the locals in the Greek half of Cyprus. The passenger who wants to enjoy the flight with his inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. The man who suspects his false teeth may have been stolen by one of the cabin crew. Meet these delightful people plus many, many more, and enjoy the funniest read you'll have had for ages. If you enjoyed the Henry Root Letters you'll love Dear Air 2000..
Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini
Mark Leyner - 1995
You’ve had a martini or three, and you mingle through the crowd, wondering how long you need to stay before going out for pizza. Suddenly you’re introduced to someone new, Dr. Nice Tomeetya. You forget the pizza. Now is the perfect time to bring up all those strange questions you’d like to ask during an office visit with your own doctor but haven’t had the guts (or more likely the time) to do so. You’re filled with liquid courage . . . now is your chance! If you’ve ever wanted to ask a doctor . . .•How do people in wheelchairs have sex?•Why do I get a killer headache when I suck down my milkshake too fast?•Can I lose my contact lens inside my head forever?•Why does asparagus make my pee smell?•Why do old people grow hair on their ears?•Is the old adage “beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer . . .” really true? . . . then Why Do Men Have Nipples? is the book for you.Compiled by Billy Goldberg, an emergency medicine physician, and Mark Leyner, bestselling author and well-known satirist, Why Do Men Have Nipples? offers real factual and really funny answers to some of the big questions about the oddities of our bodies.
An Illustrated Book of Bad Arguments
Ali Almossawi - 2013
I have selected a small set of common errors in reasoning and visualized them using memorable illustrations that are supplemented with lots of examples. The hope is that the reader will learn from these pages some of the most common pitfalls in arguments and be able to identify and avoid them in practice.
Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
Lynne Truss - 2003
She proclaims, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. Using examples from literature, history, neighborhood signage, and her own imagination, Truss shows how meaning is shaped by commas and apostrophes, and the hilarious consequences of punctuation gone awry.Featuring a foreword by Frank McCourt, and interspersed with a lively history of punctuation from the invention of the question mark in the time of Charlemagne to George Orwell shunning the semicolon, Eats, Shoots & Leaves makes a powerful case for the preservation of proper punctuation.
Very British Problems: Making Life Awkward for Ourselves, One Rainy Day at a Time
Rob Temple - 2013
Symptoms include:*Acute embarrassment at the mere notion of making a fuss;*Extreme awkwardness when faced with any social greeting beyond a brisk handshake;*An unhealthy preoccupation with meteorology.Doctors have also reported several cases of unnecessary apologising, an obsessive interest in correct queuing etiquette and dramatic sighing in the presence of loud teenagers on public transport. If you have experienced any of these symptoms, you may be suffering from VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS. VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS are highly contagious. There is no known cure.Rob Temple's hilarious new book reveals all the ways in which we are a nation of socially awkward but well-meaning oddballs, struggling to make it through every day without apologising to an inanimate object. Take comfort in misfortunes of others. You are not alone.
The Internet is a Playground
David Thorne - 2010
The complete collection of articles and emails from 27bslash6 such as Overdue Account, Party in Apartment 3 and Strata Agreement plus articles too litigious to be on the website.
Real Clever Solutions & Ideas: Tips and Tricks to Save You Time and Money
Naya Lizardo - 2013
This indispensable book is packed with tried-and-tested solutions, clever life hacks, bright ideas, and tricks of the trade that will save you time, effort, and money, making your life a little easier.
Things I Learned From Knitting (whether I wanted to or not)
Stephanie Pearl-McPhee - 2008
You’ll laugh with Pearl-McPhee as she realizes that “babies grow” after spending nights knitting a now-too-small sweater. “Beginning is easy, continuing is hard” takes on a new meaning to the knitter who has five projects going, but wants to start another. The next time you drop a stitch, take a cue from this insightful collection and remember, “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”
Always Remember to Tip Your Ninja: And Other Maxims for the Clinically Absurd
Jeremy C. Shipp - 2011
But leave the mimes outside in the cold where they belong."Praise for Jeremy C. Shipp:"I'm convinced Jeremy Shipp is a little bit crazy, in the best possible way."--Jeff VanderMeer, author of City of Saints & Madmen"Jeremy Shipp is a very good drug."--John Skipp, author of The Emerald Burrito of Oz"Two thumbs up!"--Midwest Book Review
Geek Wisdom: The Sacred Teachings of Nerd Culture
Stephen H. Segal - 2011
Clearly, geeks know something about life in the 21st century that other folks don’t—something we all can learn from. Geek Wisdom takes as gospel some 200 of the most powerful and oft-cited quotes from movies (“Where we’re going, we don’t need roads”), television (“Now we know—and knowing is half the battle”), literature (“All that is gold does not glitter”), games, science, the Internet, and more. Now these beloved pearls of modern-day culture have been painstakingly interpreted by a diverse team of hardcore nerds with their imaginations turned up to 11. Yes, this collection of mini-essays is by, for, and about geeks—but it’s just so surprisingly profound, the rest of us would have to be dorks not to read it. So say we all.
Who Peed on My Yoga Mat?
Lela Davidson - 2012
In other words, she’s got it all. Who Peed on My Yoga Mat? peels back the curtain on family life to show that happiness is really a matter of perspective. Between watching adorably annoying toddlers transform into text-obsessed teens, and facing inevitable moments of marital “for worse,” a girl’s got to carve out time for inner peace. As she did in Blacklisted from the PTA, Davidson shows us once again that laughing at yourself and your family is the surest path to tranquility–or at least the most fun.