In this hilarious book of tongue-in-cheek poetry, the author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behaviour to ignorant humans. With titles like Who Is That on Your Lap?, This Is My Chair, Kneel Before Me, Nudge, and Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs, the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat authors throughout, this whimsical volume reveals kitties at their wackiest, and most exasperating (but always lovable).

    But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer. I know, I know, it sucks not being me. But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.

    From the first descent of the larynx into the throat (why you can talk but your dog can't), to the fine lost art of swearing, Bryson tells the fascinating, often uproarious story of an inadequate, second-rate tongue of peasants that developed into one of the world's largest growth industries.

    It's an occasionally ribald, frequently witty and unerringly erudite guided tour of the secret labyrinth that lurks beneath the English language, taking in monks and monkeys, film buffs and buffaloes, and explaining precisely what the Rolling Stones have to do with gardening.

    Some call it morality. Others call it religion. But Bros in the know call this holy grail the Bro Code.Historically a spoken tradition passed from one generation to the next, the official code of conduct for Bros appears here in its published form for the first time ever. By upholding the tenets of this sacred and legendary document, any dude can learn to achieve Bro-dom.

    But does he know how to hide a dead body? Or cry with diginity? If not, this book's for him' COSMOPOLITAN, Book of the MonthA TOP GEAR magazine Book of the MonthPRODUCT DESCRIPTIONCall yourself a man? You do? Do you even know what a real man is? Are you a six-foot-one Adonis who wears all the latest fashions, moisturises regularly, visits spas for pleasure and never does anything wrong? Or do you drink twenty pints every Friday night, guzzle a kebab on the way home and then fart yourself to sleep? It's time to stop being the man everyone expects you to be and be the one you want to be.Learn how to:- Pick locks, safes and chastity belts- Disappear without a trace in 24 hours- Win a gun fight- Survive the wild- Ride a wall of death- Work a 4-hour week- Survive any crisis- Make things go boom- Drive cars sideways- Be a great dad…and, of course, drive a tank. Fast-paced and funny, this is the ultimate bible for the modern man.* A 'dangerous book for men' - how to embrace life to the full and how to be your own man * Top Gear meets 101 Things To Do Before You Die (Richard Horne)

    It now has 600,000 to a million page hits daily. Every now and then, Munroe would get emails asking him to arbitrate a science debate. 'My friend and I were arguing about what would happen if a bullet got struck by lightning, and we agreed that you should resolve it . . . ' He liked these questions so much that he started up What If. If your cells suddenly lost the power to divide, how long would you survive? How dangerous is it, really, to be in a swimming pool in a thunderstorm? If we hooked turbines to people exercising in gyms, how much power could we produce? What if everyone only had one soulmate?When (if ever) did the sun go down on the British empire? How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?What would happen if the moon went away?In pursuit of answers, Munroe runs computer simulations, pores over stacks of declassified military research memos, solves differential equations, and consults with nuclear reactor operators. His responses are masterpieces of clarity and hilarity, studded with memorable cartoons and infographics. They often predict the complete annihilation of humankind, or at least a really big explosion. Far more than a book for geeks, WHAT IF: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions explains the laws of science in operation in a way that every intelligent reader will enjoy and feel much the smarter for having read.

    Whether you are a native speaker who wants to sharpen their verbal toolkit, or a non-native speaker who wants to learn how to navigate the English language maze, this book will provide you with information and techniques for instant improvement and lifelong learning. Maybe you want to improve your presentation skills. Perhaps you want to tel more interesting and engaging stories. Or maybe you simply want to become more articulate in your day-to-day use of English. Whatever your needs, your goal is to improve your English, and Launch Your English can guide you to do just that. In this book you'll learn how to: • become more creative and descriptive in your English usage • capture people's attention with your vivid and enhanced expressions • break English down into building blocks for easy improvement • select the right word and expression to articulate your thoughts exactly Free resources for students of English -> SirEnglish.com

    Despite a well-paying job, the author had managed to spend everything he had earned in the five years after college. The meeting with the mortgage officer was his financial epiphany. He finally got serious about managing and investing his money. Now in his early 50s, the author is debt free, owns a house free and clear, and has built a retirement portfolio that will comfortably sustain him and his wife in the coming years. This book will help people avoid the financial mistakes the author made the first few years after college.In a breezy, humorous, and conversational style, it describes a common-sense approach to spending, saving, investing, and managing your money to build wealth over time. If you are looking to get a grip on managing your money, From Ramen to Riches is for you! Silver medal winner in the 2011 Living Now Book Awards. Finalist in the 2011 Next Generation Indie Book Awards.

    In these essays, Celia Rivenbark reviews the many oddities in stranger-than-fiction news story, chronicles her transition into the Twitter-sphere, and laments a missed opportunity to be a guest on a certain national talk show.

    The instructions are easy, the ingredients pure and natural. The best part? It's fun. And the results are phenomenal. The moisturizing cream recipe alone is worth the read!

    Eponymous, adj. Giving one's name to a person, place, or thing.Anonymous, adj. Anonymous.Anonyponymous, adj. Anonymous and eponymous.The Earl of Sandwich, fond of salted beef and paired slices of toast, found a novel way to eat them all together. Etienne de Silhouette, a former French finance minister, was so notoriously cheap that his name became a byword for chintzy practices—such as substituting a darkened outline for a proper painted portrait. Both bequeathed their names to the language, but neither man is remembered.In this clever and funny book, John Bemelmans Marciano illuminates the lives of these anonyponymous persons. A kind of encyclopedia of linguistic biographies, the book is arranged alphabetically, giving the stories of everyone from Abu "algorithm" Al-Khwarizmi to Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin. Along with them you'll find the likes of Harry Shrapnel, Joseph-Ignace Guillotine, and many other people whose vernacular legacies have long outlived their memory.Accented by amusing line portraits and short etymological essays on subjects like "superhero eponyms," Anonyponymous is both a compendium of trivia and a window into the fascinating world of etymology. Carefully curated and unfailingly witty, this book is both a fantastic gift for language lovers and a true pleasure to read.

    The story captures the struggles of a family as it was pulled apart by poverty and alcohol, yet bound by witty—and sometimes ribald—humor.The cast of characters reads like fiction, but it is actually truth. There’s the father, the sarcastic, anti-government, alcoholic, and general ne’er-do-well. He moved his family from state to state, only to leave them again for years at a time in search of construction work. He’d return with empty pockets and bizarre interests such as ESP, pyramid power, and telekinesis. The mother, an Irish Catholic, stayed devoted to him.Her lack of education and access to transportation in a small town led to a dependence upon welfare.Two older sisters complete the picture, acting as sources of tension and strength throughout the book. And then there’s the narrator, the youngest—the snoop, the clown, and the observer.In the spirit of memoirs such as Blackbird and Angela’s Ashes, the narrative addresses serious issues while avoiding self-pity. Don’t Spend it All on Candy continuously comes back to the humor that sustained them while celebrating the tenacity that led all three daughters to break the cycle of poverty.

    True Stories of Messages From Beyond tells 14 different personal stories of the bond we all share with those we love a bond never broken, not even by death. Each story was written by an ordinary person living an ordinary life, who was touched, changed, comforted, and even transformed by their own unique extraordinary encounters with those they love on the other side. Each encounter, whether a smell, a touch, a message in a song or another form of communication are touching, emotional and give hope to those who read them. Dennis passed away in a hospital bed in the bedroom we shared. I was with him, holding his hand, when he peacefully passed. My best friend was the first person to arrive at my house and she made all of the necessary calls for me. I remained in the room with Dennis, not able to leave his side. My friend had stepped outside for a few minutes and then the excitement began. Suddenly, everyone was calling for me to come outside. I replied that I didn't want to leave Dennis. The hospice nurse then came into the room and told me that I would forever regret not going outside. When I got outside, many of my neighbors were lining my street to see this amazing thing happening.The day of the visitation was here. It was the day I dreaded the most. Today I would have to see my daughter in a casket. I asked God to help me get through this day. He did. The funeral director gently opened the lid and we stepped forward. The next twenty minutes were a total blur. There was my girl. She looked beautiful. Only a small bruise on the bridge of her nose gave a clue to the trauma her body had undergone. It was as though time stood still. I began to cry as I have never cried before. It was a deep guttural cry that came from deep within my soul.I finally got out of bed about 6:30 a.m. and started getting ready to go to the airport. I did everything I possibly could to keep back the tears. Packing my suitcase was so hard. I walked down the stairs and my mom was sitting on the couch looking just as disappointed as I was. I cried hugging her and holding her, telling her I would be back in a few weeks: I promise Mom! I kept telling her, Don t worry I ll be back! I loaded the car, and pulled out of the driveway knowing that was the last time I would see my mom standing in the door waving goodbye to me. She was crying too. We both knew, this was it; if I made it back in a few weeks, everything would be different. I never cried so hard in my life. I believe that leaving that morning was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I had to go, with my mom standing there alive, still able to communicate, and I wouldn't ever get to see her like that again.Often the most influential evidence of life after death comes in the form of messages from loved ones who have passed on. Sometimes these messages are relayed by very convincing messages images or visuals, while other times they come as voices, slight touches and even written notes. Messages from the other side, are most often thoughts of comfort and tranquility, and often evidence that someone is still watching over us. In some of the most amazing cases, loved ones who have passed on communicate messages that are highly personal, often very important, and at times even life saving. If you have ever experienced an amazing message from a loved one after they have passed on, you don't want to miss this book! It is filled with true stories from normal people who shared their love, laughter, pain and experience through their story. After you are finished reading these amazing stories, you will feel an enormous amount of contentment with spiritual existence after death. Make sure you get your copy today! These stories are very personal, and touch on the life and death of the writers loved one.

    100 million people viewed those videos, turning Bo into an online sensation with a huge and dedicated following. Bo taped his first of two Comedy Central specials four days after his 18th birthday, making him the youngest to do so in the channel's history. Now Bo is a rising star in the comedy world, revered for his utterly original and intelligent voice. And, he can SIIIIIIIIING!In EGGHEAD, Bo brings his brand of brainy, emotional comedy to the page in the form of off-kilter poems, thoughts, and more. Teaming up with his longtime friend, artist, and illustrator Chance Bone, Bo takes on everything from death to farts in this weird book that will make you think, laugh and think, "why did I just laugh?"