From the random braindropping (When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.) to favorite oxymorons (holy war, for one), and from questions to ponder (Why are there no B batteries? for instance) to his classic monologue comparing baseball and football, this little book packs in a lot of laughs.

    And how can that get any worse for this Wimpy Kid? By finding out that you’re getting the meanest teacher in the school this year AND she just moved down the street.Leave it up to Connor, Max and Milo to turn the miserable first week of school into the biggest and most exciting party ever. All while avoiding the bully squad, outsmarting Molly, the teacher’s pet and staying one step ahead of Mr. Mooger, the principal.But everything is not as it seems and the three soon find out that they haven’t been the only one’s pulling pranks.Join Connor, Max and Milo on their new adventures in middle school, watch them out smart the bullies and stay one step ahead of the teachers. This illustrated book is a humorous and fun ride through middle school, never knowing what's just around the corner or under your seat. Connor's Diary of the Wimpy Kids in his prankster's club will keep you guessing and laughing out loud.Also Available: The Pranksters' Club: Ripped - Book 2 of the Series

    The prince is holding a magnificent ball for every young lady in the kingdom, except Cinderella - her mean stepsisters refuse to let her go! But help arrives at the last minute with FLASH and a POP! Can the Fairy Godmother help Cinderella live happily ever after?

    When he wasn’t burning down parts of Berkeley or springing girlfriends from homes for unwed mothers, he was dodging gendarmes in Paris. So what sort of parent would that most outrageous of teenagers make? In this new installment of the acclaimed Twisp saga, 40-something Nick faces the daily trials of dealing with his own teenage son. When a move to California threatens to disrupt young Scott Twisp’s life, he reacts in the true Twispian spirit. Follow this wannabe “wanton lothario” as he conspires to meet the challenges of girls, sex, work, parents, TV stardom, and more. Also returning to complicate matters are Sheeni, Trent, Apurva, Vijay, Jake, Veeva, Uma, and the rest of C.D. Payne’s huge and colorful cast. Enjoy all seven books in the monumental Twisp saga: over a half-million words of hilarious mayhem! Note: Each book in the Nick Twisp series is a self-contained novel that can be enjoyed on its own. Familiarity with the other titles is not required.

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    For Mr. and Mrs. Gottin, parenting is an experiment gone badly wrong. So they look for a school where you can dump your kids and forget about them. At Horrid High, everything is downright horrid, from Chef Gretta's cooking to Master Mynus's truly mental maths classes. But Ferg finds four friends with extraordinary skills, and they make a series of startling discovering about their horrid school.Can Ferg and his friends survive Horrid High together? And can they stop Principal Perverse's wicked plans before it's too late? Open the gates of Horrid High and find out!

    

    That’s until, in a moment of mad romance, they find themselves engaged. Pippa knows she’s no bridezilla – and she’s definitely not expecting Nick to get swept off his feet by plans for floral centrepieces, vintage cake-stands and colour coordinated everything. Then Nick’s mum gets involved, secrets from Pippa’s past threaten to surface, and planning their perfect day begins to tear Nick and Pippa apart. This eagerly anticipated second novel from Sophie Ranald is a funny and poignant romantic romp. If you love Tracy Bloom, Mhairi McFarlane and Sophie Kinsella, then say “I do” to A Groom with a View.

    A. Milne's classic poems contains fresh material as well as the old favourites.'A wonderful present to sixty-year-olds' Auberon Waugh, Daily TelegraphWhen Christopher was six, the poems of Milne were always on hand to reassure him that other children were just as puzzled and naughty and silly as he was, and that grown-ups could be even sillier.When he turned sixty, he decided it was high time there was an equally reassuring volume for those of his generation who were not only more confused than ever, but were losing their teeth, their hair and, all too often, their car keys.What he did twenty years ago was to take some of Milne's best-loved poems from Now We Are Six for an older audience, with results that are often hilarious, sometimes rueful and always thought-provoking. Some verses are about realising one is not as young as one once thought, and not feeling quite as chipper as one once did; while others address some of the more disconcerting problems of modern life such as mobile telephones on trains, unsocial behaviour, traffic jams and the internet.

    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    The economy is collapsing, his health is failing, and around his hometown of Broughty Ferry, Bob is struggling to get the respect he deserves. Fortunately his email junk folder is bursting with offers of assistance from around the world. In these genuine emails, Bob Servant looks to the Internet's worst con merchants and charlatans for answers to his many woes. The author of the bestselling Delete This At Your Peril and the critically acclaimed Radio 4 series The Bob Servant Emails is back with an all-new compilation of emails targeting a fresh batch of email spammers—the false lenders who have bravely stepped into the credit crunch, supposed doctors offering expensive treatments for Bob's ailments, and fake foreign soldiers offering him military advice in his campaign against a local bowling club. They all find a man from Broughty Ferry who is ready and willing to give them his valuable time.

    He joins the elite Coors Lite road team as a key member, but the adjustment to domestic racing, with small crowds, inexperienced teammates, and poorly promoted events, proves difficult. Disillusioned, Joe is ready to hang up his cleats when he is offered a contract with a pro mountain bike team. The freshness of mountain biking proves to be an elixir: Joe's career blossoms and he rediscovers his love of the sport. Come and Gone will instantly appeal to all readers of A Dog in a Hat, while winning a new audience held spellbound by this rare, frank, and intimate sports memoir.

    Having run out of options, former YouTube star Dax Flame must get a job at an ice cream shop in order to make ends meet.

    The public not only found Laurel's serene simpleton and Hardy's pompous buffoon hilarious, but they also thought of them as friends. Laurel and Hardy may have been nitwits, but they were loveable nitwits.Another Nice Mess: The Laurel and Hardy Story explores the lives and careers of Laurel and Hardy. The book examines how the comedians teamed up and it explains why, nearly half a century after their deaths, their films continue to enchant people all over the world.Raymond Valinoti, Jr.. is a resident of Berkeley Heights, NJ. He has a Master's in Library Science from Rutgers University and is a freelance researcher. His articles on film have been published in the magazines Midnight Marquee and Films of the Golden Age. He also writes film reviews for an online news publication, The Alternative Press.

    Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:Share everything.Play fair.Don't hit people.Put things back where you found them.Clean up your own mess.Don't take things that aren't yours.Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.Wash your hands before you eat.Flush.Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.Live a balanced life.Take a nap every afternoon.When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.From the Trade Paperback edition.