You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation


Deborah Tannen - 1990
    This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. With a rare combination of scientific insight and delightful, humorous writing, Tannen shows why women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different impressions of what was said.Studded with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong -- and to find a common language in which to strengthen relationships at work and at home. A classic in the field of interpersonal relations, this book will change forever the way you approach conversations.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond


Patricia Evans - 1992
    You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse--and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind of behavior--from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse.Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse--and the abuser.This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time!

Getting Grief Right: Finding Your Story of Love in the Sorrow of Loss


Patrick O'Malley - 2017
    What he shared was a truth that many have felt but rarely acknowledged by the professionals they turn to: that our grief is not a mental illness to be cured, but part of the abiding connection with the one we’ve lost. Illuminated by O’Malley’s own story and those of many clients that he’s supported, readers learn how the familiar "stages of grief" too often mislabel our sorrow as a disorder, press us to "get over it," and amplify our suffering with shame and guilt when we do not achieve "closure" in due course. "Sadness, regret, confusion, yearning—all the experiences of grief—are a part of the narrative of love," reflects O’Malley. Here, with uncommon sensitivity and support, he invites us to explore grief not as a process of recovery, but as the ongoing narrative of our relationship with the one we’ve lost—to be fully felt, told, and woven into our lives. For those in bereavement and anyone supporting those who are, Getting Grief Right offers an uncommonly empathetic guide to opening to our sorrow as the full expression of our love.

First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Story About Anxiety


Sarah Wilson - 2017
    I bump along, in fits and starts, on a perpetual path to finding better ways for me and my mate, Anxiety, to get around. It's everything I do.Sarah Wilson—bestselling author and entrepreneur, intrepid solver of problems and investigator of how to live a better life—has helped over 1.2 million people across the world to quit sugar. She has also been an anxiety sufferer her whole life.In her new book, she directs her intense focus and fierce investigatory skills onto this lifetime companion of hers, looking at the triggers and treatments, the fashions and fads. She reads widely and interviews fellow sufferers, mental health experts, philosophers, and even the Dalai Lama, processing all she learns through the prism her own experiences.Sarah pulls at the thread of accepted definitions of anxiety, and unravels the notion that it is a difficult, dangerous disease that must be medicated into submission. Ultimately, she re-frames anxiety as a spiritual quest rather than a burdensome affliction, a state of yearning that will lead us closer to what really matters.Practical and poetic, wise and funny, this is a small book with a big heart. It will encourage the myriad sufferers of the world's most common mental illness to feel not just better about their condition, but delighted by the possibilities it offers for a richer, fuller life.

Breaking Free of the Co-Dependency Trap


Barry K. Weinhold - 1999
    Rather, the authors identify it as the result of developmental traumas that interfered with the infant-parent bonding relationship during the first year of life.Drawing on decades of clinical experience, Barry and Janae Weinhold correlate the developmental causes of co-dependency with relationship problems later in life, such as establishing and maintaining boundaries, clinging and dependent behaviors, people pleasing, and difficulty achieving success in the world. Then they focus on healing co-dependency, providing compelling case histories and practical activities to help readers heal early trauma and transform themselves and their primary relationships.Breaking Free of the Co-dependency Trap presents a groundbreaking developmental road map to guide readers away from their co-dependent behaviors and toward a life of wholeness and fulfillment.

Fierce Intimacy: Standing Up to One Another with Love


Terrence Real - 2018
    It’s something you do," teaches Terry Real. "It’s a minute-by-minute practice of connecting to others through empathy, vulnerability, and accountability." With Fierce Intimacy, this renowned author offers a revolutionary way of living in connection—one that allows you to cherish your partner, yourself, and your relationship in equal measure.How to Communicate with Love and Respect—Even When You Argue Terry’s approach to relationship is called "full-respect living"—to skillfully and honestly assert your needs while also honoring your partner’s needs. In these six sessions, he presents invaluable training for individuals and couples on developing the skills necessary for this authentic way of connecting. You’ll begin by learning how to clear away the outdated beliefs and habits that keep you from developing healthy self-esteem. Then Terry will help you and your partner transform the Five Losing Strategies that sabotage relationships into the Five Winning Strategies that lead to clear communication, trust, and mutual support. "When we dare to be more vulnerable and open and honest, we are forging new territory," says Terry Real. Whether you’re still seeking a partner or want to breathe new life into your existing relationship, Fierce Intimacy brings you essential tools for connecting with true respect, uncompromising honesty, and ever-deepening love.HIGHLIGHTS • The adaptive child—how to recognize and defuse self-sabotaging habits • Unhealthy self-esteem traps for men and women • Identifying your CNI (Core Negative Image)—a key to making arguments constructive instead of destructive • The Feedback Wheel—a four-step approach to revolutionize your communication • The Five Losing Strategies: our impulses to control, retaliate, and be right all the time • The Five Winning Strategies for shared happiness, connection, and success

Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt, and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries


Guy Winch - 2013
    But, as Guy Winch, Ph.D., points out, these kinds of emotional injuries often get worse when left untreated and can significantly impact our quality of life. In this fascinating and highly practical book he provides the emotional first aid treatments we have been lacking. Explaining the long-term fallout that can result from seemingly minor emotional and psychological injuries, Dr. Winch offers concrete, easy-to-use exercises backed up by hard cutting-edge science to aid in recovery. He uses relatable anecdotes about real patients he has treated over the years and often gives us a much needed dose of humor as well. Prescriptive, programmatic, and unique, this first-aid kit for battered emotions will appeal to readers of Unstuck by James S. Gordon and Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff.

Emotion Code: How to Release Your Trapped Emotions for Abundant Health, Love and Happiness


Bradley Nelson - 2007
    Releasing trapped emotions often results in the sudden disappearance of physical problems, self-sabotage, and recurring relationship difficulties. Filled with real-world examples from many years of clinical practice, The Emotion Code is a distinct and authoritative new work that is destined to become an instant classic on self-healing.

The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters


Emily Esfahani Smith - 2017
    The truth is, there are untapped sources of meaning all around us right here, right now. Drawing on the latest research in positive psychology; on insights from George Eliot, Viktor Frankl, Aristotle, the Buddha, and other great minds; and on interviews with seekers of meaning, Emily Esfahani Smith lays out the four pillars upon which meaning rests. Belonging We all need to find our tribe and forge relationships in which we feel understood, recognized, and valued to know we matter to others.Purpose We all need a far-reaching goal that motivates us, serves as the organizing principle of our lives, and drives us to make a contribution to the world.Storytelling We are all storytellers, taking our disparate experiences and assembling them into a coherent narrative that allows us to make sense of ourselves and the world. Transcendence During a transcendent or mystical experience, we feel we have risen above the everyday world and are connected to something vast and meaningful. To bring those concepts to life, Smith visits a tight-knit fishing village on the Chesapeake Bay, stargazes in West Texas, attends a dinner where young people gather to share their experiences of untimely loss, and more. And she explores how we might begin to build a culture of meaning in our schools, our workplaces, and our communities. Inspiring and story-driven, The Power of Meaning will strike a profound chord in anyone seeking a richer, more satisfying life."

Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly


Evy Poumpouras - 2020
    Becoming Bulletproof means transforming yourself into a stronger, more confident, and more powerful person. Evy Poumpouras—former Secret Service agent to three presidents and one of only five women to receive the Medal of Valor—demonstrates how we can overcome our everyday fears, have difficult conversations, know who to trust and who might not have our best interests at heart, influence situations, and prepare for the unexpected. When you have become bulletproof, you are your best, most courageous, and most powerful version of you. Poumpouras shows us that ultimately true strength is found in the mind, not the body. Courage involves facing our fears, but it is also about resilience, grit, and having a built-in BS detector and knowing how to use it. In Becoming Bulletproof, Poumpouras demonstrates how to heighten our natural instincts to employ all these qualities and move from fear to fearlessness.

The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired


Daniel J. Siegel - 2020
    Showing up is. Your greatest impact begins right where you are. Now the bestselling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood."There is parenting magic in this book."--Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author of the New York Times bestselling classic Raising CainOne of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out--in terms of happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships--is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them. In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions, showing up for your child might sound like a tall order. But as bestselling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain, it doesn't take a lot of time, energy, or money. Instead, showing up means offering a quality of presence. And it's simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child's healthy development. Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S's:- Safe: We can't always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change. - Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions--both positive and negative--and strive to attune to what's happening in his mind beneath his behavior. - Soothed: Soothing isn't about providing a life of ease; it's about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him that you'll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he'll never have to suffer alone. - Secure: When a child knows she can count on you, time and again, to show up--when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive!Based on the latest brain and attachment research, The Power of Showing Up shares stories, scripts, simple strategies, illustrations, and tips for honoring the Four S's effectively in all kinds of situations--when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling, disciplining, or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don't show up for them. Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it's never too late to mend broken trust, this book is a powerful guide to cultivating your child's healthy emotional landscape.

The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband


David Finch - 2012
    Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains David’s ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, his lifelong propensity to quack and otherwise melt down in social exchanges, and his clinical-strength inflexibility. But it doesn’t make him any easier to live with.Determined to change, David sets out to understand Asperger syndrome and learn to be a better husband—no easy task for a guy whose inability to express himself rivals his two-year-old daughter's, who thinks his responsibility for laundry extends no further than throwing things in (or at) the hamper, and whose autism-spectrum condition makes seeing his wife's point of view a near impossibility.Nevertheless, David devotes himself to improving his marriage with an endearing yet hilarious zeal that involves excessive note-taking, performance reviews, and most of all, the Journal of Best Practices: a collection of hundreds of maxims and hard-won epiphanies that result from self-reflection both comic and painful. They include "Don’t change the radio station when she's singing along," "Apologies do not count when you shout them," and "Be her friend, first and always." Guided by the Journal of Best Practices, David transforms himself over the course of two years from the world’s most trying husband to the husband who tries the hardest, the husband he’d always meant to be.Filled with humor and surprising wisdom, The Journal of Best Practices is a candid story of ruthless self-improvement, a unique window into living with an autism-spectrum condition, and proof that a true heart can conquer all.

Thank You for Being Such a Pain: Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People


Mark Rosen - 1998
    By embracing four fundamental premises and putting into practice the author's many helpful and practical suggestions, you'll acquire the skills and insights necessary for turning around even the most troublesome relationship. What you need to keep in mind is that: (1) nothing in your life happens randomly and your difficulties have a deeper purpose; (2) frustration and even emotional pain are as necessary for your personal and spiritual growth as love and joy; (3) transforming enmity and completing unfinished business may be the most important skills you can learn in life; and (4) when you make an effort to work on your inner self, your outer relationships will be transformed.        This groundbreaking book draws upon state-of-the-art psychological principles and timeless spiritual practices from all traditions. Filled with enlightening exercises and entertaining stories, Thank You for Being Such a Pain will forever change the way you see the difficult people in your life . . . as well as the way you see yourself.

The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT


Russ Harris - 2007
    This empowering book presents  the insights and techniques of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) a revolutionary new psychotherapy based on cutting-edge research in behavioral psychology. By clarifying your values and developing mindfulness (a technique for living fully in the present moment), ACT helps you escape the happiness trap and find true satisfaction in life.     The techniques presented in The Happiness Trap will help readers to:    • Reduce stress and worry    • Handle painful feelings and thoughts more effectively    • Break self-defeating habits    • Overcome insecurity and self-doubt    • Create a rich, full, and meaningful life

Needing to Know for Sure: A CBT-Based Guide to Overcoming Compulsive Checking and Reassurance Seeking


Martin N. Seif - 2019
    The good news is that you can break free from this “reassurance trap”—this book will show you how.In this unique guide, you’ll find proven-effective tips and tools using CBT to help you tolerate uncertainty, face specific worrying scenarios, and gradually reduce the compulsion to incessantly seek reassurance. Most importantly, you’ll learn to deal with those pesky “doubt attacks” and trust your own judgment.Asking for reassurance is a self-reinforcing behavior—if you do it, you’re less likely to handle stressful situations without needing further reassurance. And so the cycle continues. The CBT skills in this book will help you break this exhausting and painful pattern, so you can build self-confidence and improve your life.