It's teeming with savages, thugs, angry toddlers, and disgruntled clowns. And every one of them is secretly mulling a scenario that ends with them kicking you square in the junk. What do you do if you want to take on The Batman and live to brag about it to your kids? What do you do if a rabid alligator picks a fight with your little sister? What do you do if the beloved star of "Forrest Gump" tells you to "shut the hell up" in front of a huge crowd?You read this book. It offers simple, effective instructions for beating up zombies, robots, co-workers—anything. The only limits are your imagination... and your habit of not following through on things, and possibly your uncoordinated, at times comically frail body.

    Here she shares her views on all the important topics, from acceptable careers (bartender; brewer) to her favourite cocktail recipe (beer, preferably obscure Japanese, served on ice). Written with Lee Lin's inimitable flair and contempt for all beneath her, this book will give you the Chinspiration you need to live a transcendent life.

    Personally, I think the eye-catching cover shot of me in my pajamas is reason enough. (By the way, those are my real kids on the cover, and yes, those are my actual ankles. No, I'm not retaining water.)What you're holding in your hands is a very funny and sometimes remarkably poignant look at fathers, not from the mother's point of view or the child's, but from the dad's side. Which is why it's called Tales from the Dad Side.It's filled with stories of what it's like to be a dad and a son, from a child's first day of kindergarten to the awkward sex talk and right up to the day the always-practical dad tries to pay for college with bonus miles. I was there for every landmark in my children's lives, except the day I was on the riding lawn mower and missed my son's first words, which my wife insists were “trust fund.”As children get older, the lessons of the father get harder, like teaching my son how to shave just as my father taught me, with a rusty double-edged safety razor. At the end of my dad's lesson, I emerged from the bathroom nicked and gouged, looking like an extra from a Quentin Tarantino film. My more civilized son is a Norelco man. With my high-school-age daughters, I promised them a day on which I'd take them anywhere and do anything with them they wanted, expecting them to ask for dinner and a movie; I was horrified when they told me they wanted all of us to get manicures and pedicures together. That was not the answer I was expecting; it was like discovering Lou Dobbs was an illegal alien.Over the course of raising three children, I have learned with my wife that fathers are different from mothers. That could be the greatest understatement since Noah turned on the Weather Channel and found out that the next forty days called for a 20 percent chance of light rain.The truth is, fatherhood is like Wikipedia: some parts based in fact, others just made up along the way. And while bookstores are filled with tales of mothers, their children and families, there are few from the dad's side. Now, as a public service, I'm doing my part to right this wrong.I sincerely hope this answers your questions. If perhaps it's not exactly your cup of tea, I bet you've got a father or mother in your life who'd like the stone-cold truth about dads. Besides, for the same money, you can either put three gallons of gas in your car or take home this book, which has a highway rating of 29 smiles an hour.Steve Doocy

    Embassy offers an up-close and personal look into the lives of the diplomats and specialists who make up the U.S. Foreign Service, taking readers inside embassies and consulates in more than fifty countries, providing detailed descriptions of Foreign Service jobs and first-hand accounts of diplomacy in action. Gain a sense of the key role played by each member of an embassy team from Paris to Kabul, from Bogota to Beijing, and places in between. Travel into the rainforests of Thailand with an environmental affairs officer, face rampaging militias with a political officer in East Timor, and join an ambassador on a midnight trip into a Macedonian refugee camp to quell a riot. The book includes profiles of diplomats and specialists around the world serving in Foreign Service positions -- from the ambassador to the security officer, the consular officer to the IT specialist. Also included is a selection of day-in-the-life accounts from seventeen different countries, each describing an actual day on the job. The story section includes twenty-six tales from the field that give a sense of the extraordinary: the coups, the evacuations, the civil wars, the hardships and rewards of representing America to the world.Inside a U.S. Embassy was published by the American Foreign Service Association in 2003, and updated and revised in 2005. Over 70,000 copies have sold.

    Today, we can say that reflexology is ideal for not only curing pain (which is a primary symptom showing something is amiss in your body) but also the root cause of the pain. It is little wonder then that reflexology therapy has become very popular as a form of holistic healing, unlike pharmaceutical drugs that mostly address only the symptoms. High stress, chronic fatigue, back pain, and fibromyalgia are only a few examples of unwelcome conditions that can easily be alleviated through the practice of reflexology. Not to mention that reflexology is a great form of disorder prevention too! This book will teach you all about the practice of reflexology, including how to self-perform reflexology and practice it on others. A complete hand chart map and foot chart map are provided within the book for your reference as well. Here Is A Preview Of What You'll Learn... Understanding Reflexology Reflexology Basics Getting Started The Foot Reflexology Chart Map The Hand Reflexology Chart Map Self-Practice with Foot Reflexology Self-Practice with Hand Reflexology Five DIY (Do It Yourself) Reflexology Techniques by Ailment Hand Reflexology: Specific Tips & Techniques Foot Reflexology: Specific Tips & Techniques Much, much more! Download your copy today!Tags: reflexology, hand reflexology, foot reflexology, total reflexology, reflexology guide, reflexology manual, reflexology diagram, reflexology chart, reiki, acupuncture, acupressure, flexology, foot map, chart, map, learn reflexology, relieve tension, treat illness, treat pain, reduce pain, alleviate pain, foot reflexology, what is reflexology, does reflexology work, facial reflexology, reflexology headache, headache, headaches, reflexology techniques, reflexology therapy, alternative therapies, foot therapy, natural therapy, reflexology map, hand reflexology chart, foot reflexology chart, reflexology charts, reflexology treatment, reflexology foot map, reflexology hand map, reflexology maps

    It won’t place any judgement, embarrassment, or pressure to undergo painful measures.In fact, there’s absolutely no need to cut down or reduce your usage whilst reading; doing so is actually detrimental.Perhaps this goes against everything you’ve been told, but ask yourself if what you’ve been told has worked? If it had, you wouldn’t be reading this hackbook.Pornography addiction manifests in various ways with far-reaching societal effects. Many people use pornography because the internet allows instantaneous access to supernormal stimuli. Consider if the following questions apply to you.- Do you spend far more time viewing porn than you originally intended?- Are you unsuccessful in efforts to stop or limit your consumption of pornography?- Has time spent viewing pornography interfered with, or taken precedence over personal or professional commitments, hobbies, or relationships in your life?- Do you go out of your way to keep your pornography consumption secret (e.g. deleting browser history, lying about viewing porn)?- Has viewing pornography caused significant problems in intimate relationship(s)?- Do you experience a cycle of arousal and enjoyment before and during pornography consumption, followed by feelings of shame, guilt, and remorse after?- Do you spend significant amounts of time thinking about pornography, even when not watching it?- Has viewing pornography caused any other negative consequences in your personal or professional life (e.g. missed work, poor performance, neglected relationships, financial problems)?If you’re a porn user that depends on it for masturbation or sex, all you need to do is read on. If you’re here for a loved one, all you need to do is persuade them to read this book. If unable to persuade them, read the book yourself. Understanding the method assists getting the message across and preventing your children from starting. Don’t be fooled by the fact that they don’t have access to it now – all do before getting hooked.

    With topics such as pointless professional development where the author learned how to make bird noises, insanely incompetent teachers who make the good ones look bad, the shit parades that are parent conferences, lack of discipline even for kids who attack people with weapons, outrageous parent requests such as checking the size and color of a teenager's poop, this follow-up to the wildly popular memoir Teacher Misery does not disappoint! Think the stories in Teacher Misery were crazy? Just wait till you read More Teacher Misery!"Morris opens up about the comical misery that has become the teaching profession-giving a voice to teachers everywhere." Parent Herald"One of the funniest teacher books you'll ever read!" Bored Teachers"The stories that Morris tells about the school system are riveting. The antics and violence and outright stupidity that she and other teachers have had to endure are outright insane -- some of it is so crazy it's almost unbelievable." Mission Incomplete"A must read for every single human being on this world, from teachers to parents, students, administrators,  just name it. Let me be honest, nonfiction kind of book is not my cup of tea, but this book is simply amazing, hilarious, keep surprising me non stop!" Jessica's Book Blog"This one is just the most hilarious and heart-breaking ever! Laugh out loud funny!" Teachers Are Terrific"Her stories are so ridiculous, that a non-educator might actually believe they're fabricated. Unfortunately, those of us who are on the inside know it's all too real. Her stories are laugh out loud funny, touching, and at times, maddening." Having a Mom Moment"This book is a great read and a real eye-opener." Carpe Librum"I recommend this book for many reasons. Morris is a great writer who did a great job at presenting her case. She is funny and entertaining. She is above all honest with her interpretation and the things that she sees around her. I liked the variation in text and material. Overall, this books needs to be spread around the country. She isn't the only person that feels this way. There are thousands of other people out there like her and their voices need to be heard." The Next Book on my List"This book was a HILARIOUS read!" The Simply Organized Teacher"I dare you not to laugh out loud!" Robin O'Bryant, New York Times bestselling author of Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves "Jane is a gifted storyteller, you will chuckle and you will sig. The perfect gift for your kid's teacher or a teacher friend!" Joyce Kaufman, EdD, Host of The Joyce Kaufman Show, Newstalk 850 WFTL "Jane Morris gives us a beautifully written exposé about the worst sides of today's students, parents and school administrators." Bruce Tulgan, bestselling author of Not Everyone Gets a Trophy: How to Manage the Millenials "Jane Morris lifts the curtain on the horror teachers in our country face every day." Laurie Notaro, New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club "The stories Morris tells are unbelievable and yet, I'm positive they're true." Jen Mann, New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat "Morris dishes on the truth about trying to teach in this culture and it is hilarious, informative, and insightful." Stefanie Wilder Taylor, New York Times bestselling author of Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay "A compelling answer to anyone thoughtless enough to assert that teachers have it easy.

    A box set consisting of three Bill Bryson books, 'Notes from a Small Island', 'Notes from a Big Country' and 'A Walk in the Woods'.

    Such strange and chilling tales run the gamut of the terrifying and the bizarre and include crime victims, lost explorers, ships vanished at sea, outdoor disappearances, and supernatural mysteries that defy all explanation. Among these pages you’ll find accounts of America’s Lost Colony, history’s most famous ghost ships, famous figures who vanished into the unknown, the unknown fate of America’s first kidnapping for ransom, a vanished heiress, lighthouse keepers who impossibly disappeared, the killer who escaped the noose – permanently, the Grand Canyon adventurers who were never seen again, the Prohibition lawman’s nephew who was never found, the Ohio sorority girl who never made it home, the abducted housewife who disappeared, the Hollywood starlet who left her family behind, a missing West Point cadet, the babysitter who vanished on Halloween, the missing Texas couple who may have been Russian spies, the little boy who walked away for good in the Smoky Mountains, a missing heiress to a candy empire, a missing TV news reporter, a long distance runner whose run never ended, plus infamous vanishings of figures like Theodosia Burr, Amelia Earhart, Glenn Miller, Judge Crater, Jimmy Hoffa, and far too many more! Just remember as you turn the pages, that if these people so easily vanished from the face of the earth, then it means it could happen to anyone – perhaps even you. You may want to read this one with the lights on.

    Keep a daily record of life's little blessings with this keepsake gratitude guided journal filled with a year's worth of insightful prompts, inspiring quotes, and ample room for reflecting on all the things that make life great.Fans of Calm the Chaos Journal, The Five Minute Journal: A Happier You in 5 Minutes a Day and Find Calm in The Chaos: A Writing Prompt Journal with Positive Prompts to Calm the Mindwill love this journal.• An inspirational gift for anyone who likes to journal• A thoughtful self growth journal for anyone looking to bring mores perspective and find more happiness in their lives• This hardcover journal is great for all ages and people in every stage of life.

    The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.

    Explores canine behavior and behavior problems, including recognizing, preventing and correcting them.

    Each chapter is bursting with creative and classic ideas to make the day as meaningful as it is beautiful: Stationery: Save-the-date cards do double duty when printed on coasters or delicate handkerchiefs.Ceremonies: An auspicious bird’s nest adds a beautiful and rustic touch for carrying rings at a farm wedding.Dressing Up: A retro bride goes glam with a feathered veil and pearl button–accented gloves. A casual groom and his mates add a personality pop with chocolate-brown Keds to match their wedding chinos.Cocktail Hour: For a low-key affair, mini grilled cheeses dipped in shot glasses of tomato soup satisfy.Centerpieces: Fruit slices suspended in crystal vases overflowing with Crayola-bright poppies and orchids offer a cheery setting.Cakes: White lace frosting details that match the bride’s dress and the couple’s monogram turn a pale green cake into a chic masterpiece.From classic white-on-white palettes to floral themes to fun fantasy ideas, the choices are limitless. Purple, pink, red, robin’s egg blue—find inspiration at every turn in all the colors a bride can dream of! And The Knot Ultimate Wedding Lookbook is loaded with money-saving ideas that don’t sacrifice style. Expert advice and rich images add up to a delicious visual feast and essential resource to help you create an event as special as you are as a couple.

    Here the trials and triumphs of the early Muslims as individuals are well-portrayed. Their various paths to Islam - sometimes direct, sometimes long and tortuous, their devotion to the noble Prophet, their endeavours in peace time and their exploits in war - all serve to cast them in a heroic mould. This is the first of two (formerly published as a series of three) books based on original Arabic sources and written in a style that is lively and often gripping. The lives of the Sahabah or Companions of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, is a rich storehouse of knowledge, guidance and inspiration. The men and women whose stories are told here helped to lay the foundations of a new world order, and it is only fitting that they should be more widely known.

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.