Whether this is because they haven't yet mastered the 21st century phone or because they live to embarrass you throughout all forms of communication, Text Fails from Mum, is a hilarious collection of our all time favourite texts from Mum.Please stop changing the google logo so much, I like the original one.Mum I don't change the logo. Google changes it.On my computer, you don't run the Google?If I did I wouldn't be driving a 2004 Ford.Andy, I can't find my phone. Can you call it so I can try and track it down?I don't have time to be quippy, mum. It's in your hand.What? No it's not. I've got a bag of groceries in my hand. Are you saying it's in the grocery bag? How do you know these things!?WHAT ARE YOU TEXTING ME WITH!?Never mind! I found it! Thanks!This humour gift book is the laugh out loud answer to the annual conundrum what should I get Mum for Christmas, Mother's Day and her Birthday? Text Fails From Mum is the perfect stocking filler, and a gift all the family can relate to and enjoy.

    This collection of screenplays for a quartet of his most distinguished films shows that he's also a writer of distinction, for the words themselves emerge, in their own right, as a form of powerfully moving literature.

    Gummo tells it like it was. Zeppo tells it like it was. About each other, about the people they worked with, about the years in vaudeville, stage and films. And the people they worked with tell it like it was. Occasionally contradictory, frequently devastatingly unflattering, often hilarious, and always totally engrossing. For the first time, the real Marx Bros. And adding to this historic record, are more than 300 professional and family photos which poignantly depict the times as well as the players."

    But now, with that publisher long gone and their Krazy Kat collections fetching record prices (some over $100!) among collectors, it’s time to go back and get every one of these comic-strip masterpieces back into print—re-scanned and re-retouched from original tearsheets, using 21st century digital resources. Fantagraphics will be collecting these first nine years of Sundays into three volumes comprising three years apiece, starting with this volume: the very first Sundays from 1916 through 1918, and incorporating all the original articles and special features from the first edition, including rare art, series editor Bill Blackbeard’s definitive historical overview “The Kat’s Kreation,” and updated and expanded “DeBaffler” endnotes explaining some of the arcana behind the strip’s jokes.Krazy Kat, with its eternally beguiling love triangle of kat/dog/mouse, its fantastically inventive language, and its haunting, minimalist desert décor, has consistently been rated the best comic strip ever created, and Fantagraphics’ award-winning series one of the best classic comic-strip reprint series ever published. Krazy & Ignatz 1916-1918, the 11th of a projected 13 volumes collecting the entirety of the Sundays, brings us within a brick’s throw of finishing “The Komplete Kat Sundays” once and for all!

    The Outsiders: Growing up in a rough city surrounded by violence, Ponyboy and his friends learn what it means to defend your turf and to stand up for each other. That Was Then, This Is Now: Mark and Bryon are practically brothers-they have no family to speak of-but they eventually come to a point in their lives where they have difficult choices to make; choices that might separate them forever.

    Animated by Dave McKean and written by Neil Gaiman, MirrorMask combines animation and live action with a compelling storyline to take the cinematic experience to a stunning new level. MirrorMask is the story of Helena, a fifteen-year-old girl who works for her family's circus. She juggles, sells popcorn, and longs to run away and join the "real world." Helena also dreams, and one day she wakes up to find herself in a strange new world populated by mysterious creatures…a dream world where she embarks on an amazing journey. Each chapter in The Alchemy of MirrorMask begins with an introduction by McKean and Gaiman and then guides readers through the different types of visuals used to create the film, including sketches, paintings, storyboards, 3-d models, photographs, texture maps, frame blow-ups, and more. Also included are photos taken on the set and during McKean's travels to Venice, Prague, Trieste, Warsaw, and other places that provided inspiration for MirrorMask. Gaiman and McKean's insightful commentary sheds light on the film's journey from concept to screen. Gaiman and McKean fans, cinema buffs, and visual art enthusiasts will all delight in The Alchemy of MirrorMask, a rare, behind-the-scenes look at the making of an extraordinary film.

    The poems in this book are polyphonic: they juxtapose the discourses of science and religion, Hollywood and the occasional psychotic stranger. The title poem, which appears in Best American Poetry 2002, leads off with a "sphinx" asking "Does a road / run its whole length / at once? / Does a creature / curve to meet / itself?" Armantrout's work, with its careful syntax bordering on plain speech and meticulously scored short lines, is always struggling with the problem of consciousness, its blindspots and double-binds. The poems whirl like shifting and scattered pieces of the present moment. They attempt to "make sense" of our lives while acknowledging the depth of our self-deception and deception.

    The result: a highly-effective way to teach anything to anybody!Available as an illustrated how-to book that bridges the gap between theory and practice and that covers today's hottest topics, like multiple intelligences, this book provides specific, easy-to-follow guidelines for creating more-effective learning environments, better ways to design curricula, and more interesting ways to deliver content and facilitate the learning process. Designed and written as an interactive tool, Quantum Teaching includes lesson planning guidelines to help teachers cover all the bases, without having to culminate different theories or refer to different source materials. A reproducible lesson planning guide makes it easy to start implementing new strategies immediately.

    Along the way, readers join the author in discovering: • The scary side of fishing; • Why it’s wrong when board games become blood sports; • The unexpected connection between cooking classes and true romance; • How the author's cat convinced him to take up yoga (and why that was a terrible idea); • Golfing for the ball challenged; • The thrill of jumping out of an airplane without risking your life; • The eternal appeal of Elly May Clampett; and, • How to do nothing without feeling guilty about it.

    The science consultant with "The X-Files" takes an official and entertaining look at the science behind this sci-fi phenomenon, revealing many scientific facts that are even more bizarre than fiction.

    Forum opened in 1962 and is Sondheim's longest running play. Other plays for which he has written both the music and lyrics are A Little Night Music, Into the Woods and Assassins.

    At the pizzeria where he worked as a kid, he learned to substitute pork for veal in cutlets—which came in handy later when the bankroll was low. At thirteen, he got his first percentage from a local deli—that lost business when he started supplying the neighborhood wiseguys with his own heroes. And what great heroes they were… Once he entered Witness Protection, though, Hill found himself in places where prosciutto was impossible to get and gravy was something you put on mashed potatoes. So he learned to fake it when necessary (for example, Romano with white pepper took the place of real pecorino-siciliano cheese), and wherever he found himself, Hill managed to keep good Italian food on the table. He still brings this flair for improvisation to his cooking. No recipe is set in stone. And substitutions are listed in case you need them. Now, in his inimitable style, Hill tells some spicy stories of his life in the Mob and shows you how to whip up his favorite dishes, Sicilian style—even when you’re cooking on the run....

    For over three decades, on both sides of the Atlantic, Tynan was at the hot center of the theater and film worlds. He knew everybody, and everybody wanted to know him. His diaries-so resplendent with griefs and gossip-bear superb witness to the fame he courted and the price he paid for it.

    The totally restored, revamped and researched blow-by-blow recounting of the most spectacular title bout in the blood-soaked history of Hollywood. "This book documents in rare detail the back-room haggling and the attempted ego-bashing that is part of the movie business." Gene Siskel; "Told with the passion of an advocate yet with the objectivity of a crack reporter, The Battle of Brazil is a chilling, inevitably hilarious account of a great film that almost got away." USA Today.

    The beautiful young must find a way to restore herself and her aunt to respectability, preferably without accepting either of two repugnant offers. One is from an older, very rich and rather corpulent lord whose reputation for licentious behavior disgusts her; the other from the young, puppyish scion of a noble family whose relatives are convinced she is a fortune hunter.Lady Mablethorpe was aghast. Her young son Adrian was marrying Miss Deborah Grantham--a gambling-club wench! Thus she sent her trusted nephew, the vastly wealthy, clever, and imperturbable Max Ravenscar, speeding to the faro tables to buy the hussy off. To Ravenscar's surprise, Deborah turned out to be remarkably handsome, witty, and--he could scarcely believe it--well-bred. Nevertheless, he expected she'd be grateful for the price he offered to give up her young suitor. Arrogant Ravenscar comes to buy her off, an insult so scathing that it leads to a volley of passionate reprisals, escalating between them to a level of flair and fury that can only have one conclusion....The CorinthianPenelope Creed will do anything to avoid marrying her repulsive cousin. Dressed in boy's clothing, she's fleeing from London when she's discovered by Sir Richard Wyndham, himself on the verge of the most momentous decision of his life.When Sir Richard encounters the lovely young fugitive, he knows he can't allow her to travel to the countryside all alone, so he offers himself as her protector. As it happens, at that very moment Sir Richard could use an escape of his own...The NonesuchWhen they learned that Sir Waldo Hawkridge was coming, the village gentry were thrown into a flurry. The famed sportsman himself! Heir to an uncounted fortune, and a leader of London society! The local youths idolized "the Nonesuch"; the fathers disapproved; and the mothers and daughters saw him as the most eligible--and elusive--man in the kingdom.But one person remained calm. When she became a governess, Ancilla Trent had put away romance, and at first she could only be amused at the fuss over Sir Waldo. But when he ignored the well-born beauties of the district, a shocking question began to form: could the celebrated gentleman be courting her?