shame—why one is a useful force for growth, while the other keeps us small• Discuss the four elements of shame resilience—identifying our triggers, practicing critical awareness, sharing our story, and speaking honestly about shame• Discuss empathy as the primary antidote to shameWhat does it take to be secure in our sense of belonging and self-worth? We may hustle to attain this security through achievements, meeting expectations, or repeating affirmations to ourselves—but Dr. Brené Brown's research has shown there is ultimately one obstacle to our sense of worthiness. "Shame is the barrier," she teaches, "and building shame resilience is how we overcome it." With Men, Women, and Worthiness, Dr. Brown draws upon more than 12 years of investigation to reveal how we can disarm the influence of shame to cultivate a life of greater courage, joy, and love. In this rich and heartfelt examination of this pivotal element of happiness, she invites you to explore:The differences and similarities between the experience of shame for men and women• Guilt vs. shame—why one is a useful force for growth, while the other keeps us small• The four elements of shame resilience—identifying our triggers, practicing critical awareness, sharing our story, and speaking honestly about shame• Empathy as the primary antidote to shame"Whether you are a man, woman, or child, every one of us has the irreducible need for love and belonging," Dr. Brown teaches. "A sense of self-worth, unhindered by the inner voices of shame, allows us to meet that need." With the warmth, candor, and humor that has made her a celebrated speaker, Brené Brown offers a road map for navigating the emotions that hold us back-so we can cultivate a life of authenticity and connection.

    PoMo: short for PostModern; in the arts, a movement following after and in direct reaction to Modernism; culturally, an outlook that acknowledges diverse and complex points of view.PoMoSexual: the queer erotic reality beyond the boundaries of gender, separatism, and essentialist notions of sexual orientation.

    These political, philosophical, and literary essays mark the first collection of theoretical writing from the acclaimed novelist and French feminist writer Monique Wittig.

    But her story has had its obstacles, including being her own parent, living in her car as a teenager, and moving to New York City to pursue her dreams. Through it all, she looked to movies, TV, and music as the family and support systems she never had.From spending the holidays alone to having better “stranger luck” than with those closest to her to feeling like the last hopeless romantic on earth, Lane reveals her powerful and entertaining journey in all its candor, anxiety, and ultimate acceptance—with humor always her bolstering force and greatest gift.How to Be Alone is a must-read for anyone whose childhood still feels unresolved, who spends more time pretending to have friends online than feeling close to anyone in real life, who tries to have genuine, deep conversations in a roomful of people who would rather you not. Above all, it’s a book for anyone who desperately wants to feel less alone and a little more connected through reading her words.

    "Well, I don't do deception" was a common resonse.We all "do deception", often with the intention to protect ourselves and the relationships we depend on. The Dance of Deceptionunravels the ways (and whys) that women show the false and hide the real -- even to our own selves. We see how relationships are affected by lying and faking, by silence and pretending and by brave -- but misguided -- efforts to tell the truth.Truth-telling is at the heart of what is most central in women's lives. It is at the foundation of authenticity and creativity, intimacy and joy. Yet in the name of "honesty", we can bludgeon each other. We can approach a difficult issue with such a poor sense of timing and tact that we can actually shut down the lines of communication rather than widening the path of truth-telling.Sometimes Lerner's advice takes a surprising turn -- for example, when she asks us to engage in a bold act of pretending in order to discover something "more real"; or when she tells us not to parachute down on our family to bring up a "hot issue" without laying the necessary groundwork first.Whether the subject is affairs, family secrets, sexual faking or the challenge of "being oneself", Lerner helps us to discover, speak and live our own truths.

    The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory incorporates interviews and real-world advice from women of all ages in nontraditional relationships, as well as exercises for building self-awareness, confidence in communication, and strategies for managing and eliminating jealousy. Chapters include:Polyamory: What It Is and What It Isn’tThe Biggest Question: JealousyThe Second Biggest Question: SexSmart Girl SkillsLand of Love-Craft: Crafting Your Relationships from the Ground UpIf you're curious about exploring group sex, opening up your current monogamous relationship, or ready to “come out” as polyamorous, this book covers it all!Whether you're a seasoned graduate, a timid freshman, or somewhere in between, you'll learn how to discover and craft unique relationships that are healthy, happy, sexy, and tailor-made for you. Because when it comes to your love life, being a know-it-all is actually a great thing to be.

    actually being anti-racist). Confronting the sometimes uncomfortable questions feminism has made us ask about what’s going on FOR REAL paved the many paths that brought the contributors of this book together to share their sometimes uncomfortable truths, not just about feminism, but about who they are and where they are coming from.Against a backdrop exposing a 500+ year legacy of colonization and oppression, Feminism FOR REAL explores what has led us to the existence of “feminism”, who gets to decide what it is, and why. With stories that make the walls of academia come tumbling down, it deals head-on with the conflicts of what feminism means in theory as opposed to real life, the frustrations of trying to relate to definitions of feminism that never fit no matter how much you try to change yourself to fit them, and the anger of changing a system while being in the system yourself.

    Illuminating the difference between Conflict and Abuse, Schulman directly addresses our contemporary culture of scapegoating. This deep, brave, and bold work reveals how punishment replaces personal and collective self-criticism, and shows why difference is so often used to justify cruelty and shunning. Rooting the problem of escalation in negative group relationships, Schulman illuminates the ways cliques, communities, families, and religious, racial, and national groups bond through the refusal to change their self-concept. She illustrates how Supremacy behavior and Traumatized behavior resemble each other, through a shared inability to tolerate difference.This important and sure to be controversial book illuminates such contemporary and historical issues of personal, racial, and geo-political difference as tools of escalation towards injustice, exclusion, and punishment, whether the objects of dehumanization are other individuals in our families or communities, people with HIV, African Americans, or Palestinians. Conflict Is Not Abuse is a searing rejection of the cultural phenomenon of blame, cruelty, and scapegoating, and how those in positions of power exacerbate and manipulate fear of the "other" to achieve their goals.Sarah Schulman is a novelist, nonfiction writer, playwright, screenwriter, journalist and AIDS historian, and the author of eighteen books. A Guggenheim and Fulbright Fellow, Sarah is a Distinguished Professor of the Humanities at the City University of New York, College of Staten Island. Her novels published by Arsenal include Rat Bohemia, Empathy, After Delores, and The Mere Future. She lives in New York.

    Now, in this funny and necessary book, he turns round to look at men with a clear eye and ask, what sort of men would make the world a better place, for everyone?What would happen if we rethought the old, macho, outdated version of manhood, and embraced a different idea of what makes a man? Apart from giving up the coronary-inducing stress of always being 'right' and the vast new wardrobe options, the real benefit might be that a newly fitted masculinity will allow men to have better relationships - and that's happiness, right?Grayson Perry admits he's not immune from the stereotypes himself - as the psychoanalysts say, 'if you spot it, you've got it' - and his thoughts on everything from power to physical appearance, from emotions to a brand new Manifesto for Men, are shot through with honesty, tenderness and the belief that, for everyone to benefit, upgrading masculinity has to be something men decide to do themselves. They have nothing to lose but their hang-ups.

    Jen Gunter now delivers the definitive book on vaginal health, answering the questions you've always had but were afraid to ask--or couldn't find the right answers to. She has been called Twitter's resident gynecologist, the Internet's OB/GYN, and one of the fiercest advocates for women's health...and she's here to give you the straight talk on the topics she knows best.Does eating sugar cause yeast infections? Does pubic hair have a function? Should you have a vulvovaginal care regimen?Will your vagina shrivel up if you go without sex?What's the truth about the HPV vaccine?So many important questions, so much convincing, confusing, contradictory misinformation! In this age of click bait, pseudoscience, and celebrity-endorsed products, it's easy to be overwhelmed--whether it's websites, advice from well-meaning friends, uneducated partners, and even healthcare providers. So how do you separate facts from fiction? OB-GYN Jen Gunter, an expert on women's health--and the internet's most popular go-to doc--comes to the rescue with a book that debunks the myths and educates and empowers women. From reproductive health to the impact of antibiotics and probiotics, and the latest trends, including vaginal steaming, vaginal marijuana products, and jade eggs, Gunter takes us on a factual, fun-filled journey. Discover the truth about:- The vaginal microbiome - Genital hygiene, lubricants, and hormone myths and fallacies - How diet impacts vaginal health - Stem cells and the vagina - Cosmetic vaginal surgery - What changes to expect during pregnancy, after childbirth, and through menopause - How medicine fails women by dismissing symptomsPlus: - Thongs vs. lace: the best underwear for vaginal health - How to select a tampon - The full glory of the clitoris and the myth of the G Spot... And so much more. Whether you're a twenty-six-year-old worried that her labia are "uncool" or a sixty-six-year-old dealing with painful sex, this comprehensive guide is sure to become a lifelong trusted resource.

    Drawing from a wide range of sources including research articles, essays, and personal narratives, Disch has chosen accessible, engaging, and provocative readings that represent a plurality of perspectives and experiences. Eleven part introductions briefly identify important issues in the general eld of study, describe the readings, identify the central themes emerging throughout the book, and raise questions for students to consider.Contents:Part I: It's not just about Gender 1. The Puerto Rican Dummy and the Merciful Son, Marti;n Espada2. From Nothing, A Consciousness, Helen Zia3. The Past is Ever Present: Recognizing the New Racism, Patricia Hill Collins4. Angry Women Are Building: Issues and Struggles Facing American Indian Women Today, Paula Gunn Allen5. “J.A.P.”-Slapping: The Politics of Scapegoating, Ruth Atkin and Adrienne Rich6. White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack, Peggy McIntosh7. Controlled or Autonomous: Identity and the Experience of the Network, Women Living Under Muslim Laws, Farida Shaheed8. Theorizing Difference from Multiracial Feminism, Maxine Baca Zinn and Bonnie Thornton Dill9. Patriarchy, Allan Johnson10. Reflections on Global Governance and Transnational Feminist Movements in an Era of Infinite War, Rosalind PetcheskyPart II: Gender Socialization11. The Social Construction of Gender, Judith Lorber12. Boyhood, Organized Sports, and the Construction of Masculinities, Michael A. Messner13. Who's the Fairest of Them All?, Jill Nelson14. The Myth of the Latin Woman: I Just Met a Girl Named Mari;a, Judith Ortiz Cofer15. He Defies You Still: The Memoirs of a Sissy, Tommi Avicolli16. Growing Up Hidden, Linnea DuePart III: Embodiment17. Beauty Is the Beast: Psychological Effects of the Pursuit of the Perfect Female Body, Elayne A. Saltzberg and Joan C. Chrisler18. Yellow Woman and a Beauty of the Spirit, Leslie Marmon Silko19. “A Way Outa No Way”: Eating Problems among African-American, Latina, and White Women, Becky W. Thompson20. Just Walk on By: A Black Man Ponders His Power to Alter Public Space, Brent Staples21. Taking It, Leonard Kriegel22. Do You Remember Me?, Barbara Macdonald23. I’m Not Fat, I’m Latina, Christy Haubegger24. The Tyranny of the Esthetic: Surgery’s Most Intimate Violation, Martha A. CoventryPart IV: Communication25. For the White Person Who Wants to Know How to Be My Friend, Pat Parker26. You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, Deborah Tannen27. Real Men Don’t Cry . . . and Other “Uncool” Myths, Phil W. Petrie28. The New Momism, Susan J. Douglas and Meredith W. Michaels29. Claiming Jezebel: Black Female Subjectivity and Sexual Expressions in Hip-Hop, Ayana Byrd30. Virtual Organizing, Global Activism, Shireen Lee31. Where are the women? The strange case of the missing feminists. When was the last time you saw one on TV?, Laura ZimmermanPart V: Sexuality32. How Men Have (a) Sex, Jon Stoltenberg33. The Myth of the Sexual Athlete, Don Sabo34. Reproductive Rights: A Disability Rights Issue, Marsha Saxton35. The Impact of Multiple Marginalization, Paula C. Rust36. Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power, Audre Lorde Part VI: Families37. The Transformation of Family Life, Lillian B. Rubin38. Bloodmothers, Othermothers, and Women-Centered Networks, Patricia Hill Collins39. Dilemmas of Involved Fatherhood, Kathleen Gerson40. Man Child: A Black Lesbian Feminist’s Response, Audre Lorde41. I Am a Man, Raul E. Ybarra42. What is marriage for?, E.J. Graff Part VII: Education43. Missing in Interaction, Myra and David Sadker44. "What About the Boys?" What the Current Debates Tell Us--and Don't Tell Us--About Boys in Schools, Michael S. Kimmel45. Conflict within the Ivory Tower, Ruth Sidel46. Black and Female: Reflections on Graduate School, bell hooksPart VIII: Paid Work and Unemployment47. The "Success" of Welfare Reform, Sharon Hays48. Sixty Cents to a Man’s Dollar, Ann Crittenden49. Why Are There No Male Asian Anchormen on TV?, Ben Fong-Torres50. The Effects of Affirmative Action on Other Stakeholders, Barbara Reskin51. "Global Woman" by Barbara Ehrenreich and Arlie Russell Hochschild52. America's Dirty Work: Migrant Maids and Modern-Day Slavery, Joy M. Zarembka53. The Globetrotting Sneaker, Cynthia EnloePart IX: Violence54. Women, Violence, and Resistance, Melanie Kaye/Kantrowitz55. The Ultimate Growth Industry: Trafficking in Women and Girls, Jan Goodwin56. Where Race and Gender Meet: Racism, Hate Crimes, and Pornography, Helen Zia57. Homophobia in Straight Men, Terry A. Kupers58. Stopping Sexual Harassment: A Challenge for Community Education, Robert L. Allen59. How Safe Is America?, Desiree Taylor60. Wielding Masculinity inside Abu Ghraib: Making Feminist Sense of an American Military Scandal, Cynthia Enloe61. Gender in a Time of Holy War, Stephen DucatPart X: Health and Illness62. Masculinities and Men’s Health: Moving toward Post—Superman Era Prevention, Don Sabo63. Health, Social Class and African-American Women, Evelyn L. Barbee and Marilyn Little64. Reproductive Issues Are Essential Survival Issues for the Asian-American Communities, Connie S. Chan65. Why the Precautionary Principle? A Meditation on Polyvinyl Chloride (PVC) and the Breasts of Mothers, Sandra Steingraber66. Does Silencio = Muerte? Notes on Translating the AIDS Epidemic, Rafael Campo67. To Be Poor and Transgender, Kai Wright Part XI: A World That Is Truly Human68. Statement of Principles, National Organization for Men Against Sexism69. The Blow Up…A Clash of Realities, Gloria Anzaldúa70. American Indian Women: At the Center of Indigenous Resistance in Contemporary North America, M. Annette Jaimes with Theresa Halsey71. Toward a New Civic Leadership: The Africana Criminal Justice Project, Geoff K. Ward and Manning Marable72. Organizing for Peace in Israel: Why Israeli Women Want a Peace Movement of Their Own, Gila Svirsky73. Women and Human Rights, Rita Arditti

    Caroline Knapp addresses the following question: How does a woman know, and then honour, what it is she wants in a culture bent on shaping, defining and controlling women and their desires? She uses her own experiences as a powerful exploration of this issue.

    James Morris distinguished himself in the British military, became a successful and physically daring reporter, climbed mountains, crossed deserts, and established a reputation as a historian of the British empire. He was happily married, with several children. To all appearances, he was not only a man, but a man’s man.Except that appearances, as James Morris had known from early childhood, can be deeply misleading. James Morris had known all his conscious life that at heart he was a woman. Conundrum , one of the earliest books to discuss transsexuality with honesty and without prurience, tells the story of James Morris’s hidden life and how he decided to bring it into the open, as he resolved first on a hormone treatment and, second, on risky experimental surgery that would turn him into the woman that he truly was.

    Funny, passionate, and compelling prose on what it means to be queer and happy about it in a world that is still arguing about what it means to be queer.

    Though referenced like a work of research, Brizedine's writing style is fully accessible. Brizendine provides a fascinating look at the life cycle of the female brain from birth ("baby girls will connect emotionally in ways that baby boys don't") to birthing ("Motherhood changes you because it literally alters a woman's brain-structurally, functionally, and in many ways, irreversibly") to menopause (when "the female brain is nowhere near ready to retire") and beyond. At the same time, Brizedine is not above reviewing the basics: "We may think we're a lot more sophisticated than Fred or Wilma Flintstone, but our basic mental outlook and equipment are the same." While this book will be of interest to anyone who wonders why men and women are so different, it will be particularly useful for women and parents of girls.