Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results."I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left.""Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?""Ten," the doctor says sadly."Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!""Nine..."

    Much more than just a guide to mixology, How to Booze is a hilarious and remarkably prescient, if somewhat degenerate, guide to life—or at least that part of life that would be greatly improved in the company of Johnny Walker or Jack Daniels.

    . . with a twist—now she shows you how to do it on a shoestring budget.Photographer and stylist Christine McConnell transforms the ordinary into the extraordinary—from everyday dinners, to desserts for all occasions, to the walls of your kitchen, and even some over-the-top creations just for fun.Taking inspiration from the likes of Tim Burton, Wes Craven, Alfred Hitchcock, and Vincent Price and mixing in a dash of Stepford Wife, McConnell’s baking and home DIY projects are a league above and beyond anything you've seen before.In Deceptive Desserts each dessert is a work of art—some a little twisted, others magical—but every recipe inspires readers to create their own rules without spending a fortune. Why can’t crab cakes be a delicious pink-frosted dessert? And if you’re stuck hosting a bridal shower, why not create an actual Bridezilla cake to match the bride’s ego? Nothing is sacrosanct in the wonderfully weird world of Christine McConnell and nothing it what it appears to be—even a classic dinner can be transformed into something decadent, with doughnuts that look like chicken drumsticks, green beans made of candy, and ice cream mashed potatoes. A master of illusions in baking, McConnell shows readers how to create their own secret hidden gems in the kitchen.In her follow-up book McConnell will go outside the kitchen to show readers how to incorporate magic and fantasy into their home decor and personal style without breaking the bank. Using the renovations of her own house as a guide, McConnell walks readers through easy DIY projects such as hand-painted wallpaper, refinishing wood and tile floors, and adding storage space, along with inexpensive decorating tips.A dazzling collection of photographs, stories revealing her one-of-a-kind character, and helpful tricks for doing it all yourself, McConnell’s book will inspire readers to be more playful, and just a little bit wicked, with the food they create and the space they inhabit.Author BioChristine McConnell, sometimes called the Queen of Creepy Cookies, is a photographer, stylist, and baking enthusiast based out of Twin Peaks, California. McConnell’s life-long fascination with aesthetics inspired her to cultivate many talents, which ultimately led her to photography and her incredible baking and DIY creations. She personally styles all aspects of her shoots as well as creates many of the clothes seen throughout her work. Her photos have been displayed in magazines, billboards, and national advertising campaigns.

    Having longed for children since before she can remember, she was suddenly faced with an array of unfamiliar, unexpected and sometimes downright embarrassing emotional and physical reactions. And when Poppy (and a year later Daisy) was born she had to learn a whole new set of skills.From trying to conceive and a first positive pregnancy test to Poppy's first birthday, Minus Nine To One takes you through the worries, surprises, excitement, miracles and sheer bloody hard work that Jools - and all new mums in their own different ways - have to cope with along the way. As Jools writes, 'This certainly isn't meant to be read as a guidebook, or a medical reference book - it is simply my story and I hope that you can relate to it in some way (and maybe even relax with it in the bath!).'Down to earth, personal and very, very funny, this is the book no aspiring mother will want to be without.

    The two thousand mile trail spans from Springer Mountain, Georgia through fourteen states and ends on the summit of Mount Katahdin in Maine. A couple thousand people go out each year in hopes of completing the entire trail in one go, but few do. This story is filled with hiker lingo and weaves with the ins and outs of hiker culture. The stinky, bearded hikers, who hunger for burgers and thirst for beer, are the everyday comrades on the trail. In towns, hikers flock to the grocery stores where they are greeted with shocked townsfolk, who watch these mountain men with caution. At restaurants the waiters stare and their jaws drop to the floor as hikers gulp down burgers with a side of Mountain Dew.Starting out in the spring means waking up to snow. By the time thru-hikers get to Virginia, winter is gone for good, and hikers have their trail legs. By Pennsylvania, hikers are zapped of energy from the heat and low water. They are attacked by mosquitoes in New Jersey. They get lost in the cliffs of New York. Vermont is beautiful, but is no rival against the White Mountains of New Hampshire, where hikers get to walk above treeline and experience heaven on clear days. At the border of Maine, it is so close and yet so far. Maine, wildest of all, is also the most brutal, and beautiful of all. Some hike it in sections and others in thru-hikes. It’s been said, “For a section hiker, it’s a lifetime of hikes. For a thru-hiker, it's a hike of a lifetime.”

    Award-winning celebrity chef and #1 New York Times bestselling author Rocco DiSpirito's latest Now Eat This! book is the solution . In his signature style, DiSpirito has recreated 100 classic Italian recipes to be healthy and low in calories and fat-yet still full of flavor. After travelling to Italy and perfecting the dishes side-by-side with the chefs who make them best-the Italian mamas-he offers sinful pastas, sauces, and desserts you never thought you could eat while keeping healthy, including: Spaghetti with My Mama's Meatballs, Mozzarella en Carozza, Chicken Parmigiana, Hand-Torn Pasta alla Bolognese, Sausage and Peppers, Classic Cannoli, Chocolate and Hazelnut Espresso Budino, and much more! NOW EAT THIS! ITALIAN proves that Italian food doesn't have to be calorie-packed to be delicious. All under 350 calories, these full-flavor, low-fat recipes are sure to indulge your appetite without packing on the pounds.

    What you do need is the courage to start. That is the "Penguin mantra" that has enabled John Bingham—through his best-selling book No Need for Speed, his popular monthly column for Runner's World magazine, and his many appearances at major running events throughout the year—to inspire thousands of men and women to take up the sport for fitness and the sheer enjoyment that running brings them.By teaming up with coach Jenny Hadfield, his wife and coauthor on Marathoning for Mortals, Bingham lays out strategies that will help readers to safely and effortlessly integrate runs into their busy schedules. In this book, backed by Runner's World, the authority of America's leading running magazine, the authors provide tips for getting started, sticking to a routine, eating for energy, hydration, and training for speed and endurance.

    It is more powerful than any other." - Dr. Richard Schulze, Medical Herbalist from herbdoc.com.Hats off to you! You've just plunged into a wealth of information that hardly any professional doctors have a clue about. Get ready to relish in the brilliance of the kitchen miracle that surgeons shun and doctors disgrace.A sea of unknown, unrevealed information awaits you. This book will act as your guide, so that you will soon be able to harness the full power of cayenne - the herb I once took for granted, and the herb that I now owe my health.Everyone out there seems to be promoting good health. Well, that's great. Good health is something that needs to be promoted. You need herbs, not drugs. You need nature, not synthetics. You need to use the proven, natural, side-affect-free healers that the earth is full of, not the clear, cold liquids that scientists processed through a test tube.If I had the time, I'd drive from house to house, shaking people out of their beds and telling them to wake up to the miracles of cayenne. But I can't, so I've got the next best thing.This report, which I've been compiling for a while, is brimming with the fiery brilliance of cayenne and all that I've found out about it.For example, cayenne has been known to cure 17 big diseases. It has been known to stop a heart attack in a matter of minutes. It can sharpen your vision better than the most powerful contact lenses available. It can expand your arteries like anything, giving the blood room to really flow and travel everywhere, from your arms (giving you strength) to your brain (giving you better brainpower). It can cure arthritis and much, much more.If your heart can't pump enough blood to a certain area, take cayenne pepper.Because if you're on prescription medications, you could take up to a year (or more!) to heal. But if you take cayenne, you could cut it down to a month or two.Did you know that if you take garlic in the right proportions, you can bring your blood pressure back to normal in three months?Well, if you add cayenne, you could cut that down to three days.Cayenne can unclog your kidneys and your sinuses, allow you to breathe freely and restore broken, bleeding gums to normal. Cayenne, in short, is a kitchen miracle.I owe my health to cayenne. I hope that by reading this report, you soon will too.To your health,Sharon Daniels

    

    Combining Adam's inimitable comedic voice and four-color illustrations by his friend Michael Narren, Rich Man Poor Man is a hilariously accurate look at what the people born with silver spoons in their mouths have in common with the people whose only utensils are plastic sporks stolen from a Shakey's.

    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

     But even in victory, the legacy of Obadiah Paine is not so easily washed away. His hidden lair yet remains, Dread Fortress Paine yet stands! Within it . . . none can be sure what monstrous acts are waiting to be uncovered or guess the number of Paine loyalists who linger. It falls on the shoulders of ESLED Strike Alpha to answer these questions and to seize Paine's hideout for the Elemental Learning Council. Led by spectromancer Ramses Lamprey, joined by civilian observer Tyson Bonnie, and aided by Council fixer Eva Reti, failure is not an option. This volume is a can't miss for Foul Mouth fans, acting as an action packed epilogue for "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" while priming many plot points for the next main volume and even those well beyond. Dread Fortress Paine must fall! THE KING HENRY TAPES Book 1 - "The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady" (released) Book 2 - "The Foul Mouth and the Cat Killing Coyotes" (released) Book 3 - "The Foul Mouth and the Troubled Boomworm" (released) Book 4 - "The Foul Mouth and the Headless Hunny" (released) Book 5 - "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" (released) Book 5.5 - "King Henry and the Three Little Trips" (released) Book 6 - "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" (released) Book 6.5 - "Assault on Dread Fortress Paine" (released) Book 6.75 - "The Glassbreaker Goes Home" (forthcoming) Book 7 - "The Foul Mouth and the Runaway Rumble" (forthcoming)

    Two wonderfully funny books in one edition.

    Until it arrives. From the desk of Honor Raconteur comes the tale of one guild, who believes in the impossible, and fight with everything they have to prevent the war they see coming. ~ Contains all three books in the trilogy "Deepwoods," "Blackstone," and "Fallen Ward," as well as "Origins," the collection of short stories.

    We all know that. But how do we know which foods are better than others? This handy carb chart provides the solution, no matter what style of diet you are on.No more guessing at what a food will 'cost you' while out at a supermarket or at a restaurant. This useful book provides all the details you need to create a more healthy you! From fruits and vegetables to nuts and berries, many items in a store don't provide you the data you need. With this book you will have the data you need at your fingertips. There is also complete coverage of popular low carb beers, liqueurs, whiskeys, and more.In addition to the recipes, all of my low carb books provide appendices which explain how to successfully manage a low carb diet.Let me know if you have any questions or suggestions! I frequently update all my low carb books based on your recommendations.REVISED FOR 2014 with more carb values in every category, plus even better formatting for ebook readers.