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1,000 Unforgettable Senior Moments: Of Which We Could Remember Only 246
Tom Friedman - 2006
And you’re definitely not alone. There’s Jimmy Carter, forgetting the nuclear launch codes in a suit at the dry cleaners. Rod Stewart fumbling for the name of the intense first love who inspired “Maggie Mae.” G. K. Chesterton writing a long letter to hismother announcing the good news about his engagement—while his mother is in the room with him. Marilyn Monroe blowing the same line through 52 takes during the filming of Some Like It Hot.Celebrating history’s greatest mental lapses, is a perfect impulse book in the fine gift format of Famous Last Words. Not just outlandishly funny, it’s also a book of great comfort—after all, having a senior moment puts you in the company of Einstein, Lincoln, Beethoven, Newton, Toscanini, and a whole assortment of presidents, poets, philosophers, popes, and Nobel Prize–winners. Talk about gaffes. Here are best men forgetting to show up at the wedding. Judges staggered by the incompetence of their previous decisions. Senators frozen in front of TV cameras. Olympic officials gazing absently while bewildered runners continue through the finish line. Bono losing the only copy of his lyrics to a new album. Forget to pick up your copy today!
The Hope Valley Hubcap King
Sean Murphy - 2002
Bibi, the first male in twelve generations of Browns not to have taken his own life, has a furious crush on a beautiful nine-fingered woman and an unbearable urge to understand the meaning of Time, the Universe, and America. So Bibi begins his quest--careening through a world of bizarre cults, gravity-defying crones, and lunatics of every stripe--all for a chance to meet his long-lost uncle Otto, a legendary junk-dealer who lives on the Hope Valley Hubcap Ranch. Because in a world that is spinning a little too fast, and a little too wildly, Bibi’s destiny is to find the essence of hope, the beauty of hubcaps, and the meaning of life in the Valley of the Hubcap King....With a touch of Candide, a dash of Don Quixote, and healthy dose of Zen, Sean Murphy’s wondrous, riotous novel is the story of an ordinary man searching through a hilariously off-kilter world--for the truths that might just save us all.From the Paperback edition.
Schrodingers Caterpillar
Zane Stumpo - 2012
One morning he misses his bus when he stops to put a strange caterpillar in a matchbox. As the bus passes he’s shocked to spot himself inside. Like Schrödinger’s Cat in the famous quantum thought experiment, the caterpillar's spawned parallel possibilities. This comic novel explores Graham’s search for a better life among the various overlapping alternatives.Another clone, Grim Dupeint, is a loathsome international arms dealer. Graham infiltrates Grim’s corporation, then embezzles cash for charity. When a furious Grim realises, Graham must act fast. And right now he's acting like fish food.Graham launches upon a new lifestyle (and sex life) as he dons the designer suits of power. But sinister figures soon see through Graham’s clothing. Now Graham’s under attack from the corporation, the police, his ex-wife’s private detective, and an infuriatingly pompous water-colourist who Graham might have been if he’d gone to art college rather than business school. To survive (and steal the artist’s wonderful woman) Graham needs to find hidden resources. By definition Dopplegraham’s equally resourceful. Bugger...Schrödinger's Caterpillar - a stupid book for brainy people!
Top Gear: The Alternative Highway Code
Ministry of Top Gear - 2010
The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.
The Subgenius Psychlopaedia of Slack: The Bobliographon
J.R. "Bob" Dobbs - 2006
Scientific Shaman. Big Brother Au-Go-Go. He sits comfortably at the apex of the pyramid of worldly knowledge, twiddling his thumbs. His word, according to followers, is The Word, and that word is Slack. Beyond science, reason — and orgasm — find in Bobliography instant instructions for those who follow no master. The third installment of the holy SubGenius books, Bobliography is an uproarious send-up of all things cult. In addition to providing a guide for Eternal Salvation (or triple your money back), Bobliography is the encapsulated history of the SubGenius "movement" — from its beginnings in the 1980s to the growing Internet empire it has lately become — and also the essential, comprehensive collection of SubGenius lore. A Whole Earth catalog for the Deeply Weird, a Farmer's Almanac for the Truly Strange — Bobliography is the revelation of the millennium.
Damn You Autocorrect! 2
Lyndsey Saul - 2013
Ever been mortified by predictive text on your smart phone? You are not alone. This brings together more of the laugh-out-loud funny and painfully embarrassing posts from damnyouautocorrect.com, which highlight the hilarity that often ensues when text messaging goes wrong. This second volume of epic auto-correct fails is packed with never-before-seen content, as well as the most cringe-worthy posts from the site.
The Onion Ad Nauseam: Complete News Archives, Volume 14
The Onion - 2003
The Onion Ad Nauseam: Complete News Archives, Volume 14 collects every article that The Onion published between November 2001 and October 2002, including opinion pieces, horoscopes, and your favorite columns from all of the Onion regulars.The Onion Ad Nauseam: Complete News Archives, Volume 14 is packed with material no longer available online or anywhere else. Look for a new volume every year.
Doodle Diary of a New Mom: An Illustrated Journey Through One Mommy’s First Year
Lucy Scott - 2015
Despite her extensive pre-baby research, nothing prepared her for the momentous task of caring for this new little person. Featuring dozens of funny moments like baby's first lunch out to a forensic view of the living room, this charming doodle collection includes 120 two-color illustrations and is the perfect gift for Mother's Day, baby showers, or year-round fun. Also included are a few doodling prompts in the back of the book so moms can doodle their own first-year memories.
Di and I
Peter Lefcourt - 1994
A fast, funny trip through the looking glass into an oddly engaging mix of royal family scandals and Hollywood derring-do.--Los Angeles Daily News.
TV Cream Toys
Steve Berry - 2007
From Big Trak to Buckaroo!, Mastermind to Merlin, Sorry! to Strawberry Shortcake, each peerless plaything from the '60s through to the '90s is examined and catalogued (in the Argos, rather than the scientific, sense).Culled from award-winning retro website TV Cream, this book lists a wealth of fondly remembered toys, games, and novelties, and unearths quite a few of the oft-forgotten classics that, even to this day, remain treasured in the hearts of our inner children.LET THE BLIZZARD OF MR MEN WRAPPING PAPER COMMENCE…
Larry Goes To Space
Alan Black - 2016
He couldn’t help himself; he was going for a ride with aliens from outer space! The aliens wouldn’t tell him where he was going, how long he would be gone, or if he was ever coming back, but a space trip sounded like more fun than beer and burgers at Benny’s Been There and Done That Bar and Grill. He had to go. “A BRILLIANT NOVEL!” says Melanie Tighe, reviewer for The CitySunTimes, Phoenix, Arizona Larry’s ride into deep space wasn’t just a Sunday jaunt. This space-faring species was in danger of being wiped off the galactic map. They offered Larry a ride because his assistance was vital to their survival, but they were xenophobic to the point of barely tolerating Larry in the same room. He was willing to help, but what could he do? Could he live long enough to save himself? What skills did Larry have to save an alien species threatened with annihilation? Every time he asked them for information, they stonewalled him.
Ocean Boulevard: an epic and exhilarating journey all the way.......from boy to man
David Baboulene - 2006
This is a journey which takes him across the world and back to a triumphant homecoming in Liverpool. But despite the laughs, the real journey in this tale takes him all the way - from a boy to a man.
TT Races
J.C. Williams - 2018
With time a dwindling commodity, Frank decides it’s time to do something he wants to do. With a little encouragement from his oldest friend, Stan, the first destination for his ‘bucket-list’ is the Isle of Man TT Races. They were content to just spectate, but fate had other ideas.
Manual de urbanidad y buenas maneras
Manuel Antonio Carreño Muñoz - 1853
Due to its age, it may contain imperfections such as marks, notations, marginalia and flawed pages. Because we believe this work is culturally important, we have made it available as part of our commitment for protecting, preserving, and promoting the world's literature in affordable, high quality, modern editions that are true to the original work.
Naughty Shorts: True Stories of Sex and Bad Judgment at Work
Jesse Lawler - 2019
These workplace disasters bring out the voyeurism, Schadenfreude, and plain old warped sense of humor in all of us. And so . . . from my naïve colleague who called our CEO a dildo, to the employee caught on videotape licking door handles in the company parking garage, their stories must be told! “...the entertainment factor is consistent and the laughs should come easily for readers who fancy the awkwardness of workplace weirdness... Ideal for readers who need a refresher course on the consequences of impropriety.” - Kirkus Reviews