G. Browne seamlessly gift wraps this horrific and hilarious sequel to his “extremely strong” (Publishers Weekly, starred review) zombie novel Breathers. He sees you when you’re sleeping . . . he knows when you’re undead. How does the leader of a failed zombie civil rights movement from California rescue a group of his undead brethren and help a lonely Breather girl as he hides from a band of medical researchers while disguised as Santa Claus? If you’ve never believed in Christmas miracles, then you wouldn’t understand. Andy Warner has just escaped from a zombie research facility in Portland, Oregon, where he’s been subjected to experimental testing for the past year. With Christmas just days away, Andy figures that donning a jolly old St. Nick costume to throw off his would-be captors is just the ticket. But he never expects to encounter a sweet, lonesome nine-year-old girl who not only reminds Andy of the family he’s lost but who thinks he’s the real Santa. He also doesn’t count on being recognized as last year’s national quasi-celebrity by a clandestine group of decaying supporters who look to him for leadership. For the living and the undead, this unforgettable holiday tale will truly put on display just who is gnawing and who is nice. . . .

    How is love related to sex, and how is sex related to love--and do love and sex need to be related at all?*This book contains profanity and adult situations

    Unfortunately for him, the medical examiner assigned to help with the case is Abby Hart, a woman who has secrets of her own. As Abby and Mark investigate the latest deaths, they discover a sinister, seemingly empty church in the heart of the city. A mysterious cult is gathering, determined to raise the father of the vampire race, who was supposed to have been killed many years ago. Soon, Abby is drawn into the heart of the cult, which is when she realizes that rather than trying to stop them, she might actually want to help...

     Built on top of the old city cemetery, Denver Botanic Gardens sits upon thousands of unrecovered human remains. Small wonder, then, that visitors and staff alike have reported all manner of ghostly activity, ranging from disembodied voices, cold spots, and phantom footsteps, to shadow figures and full-bodied apparitions. Are the spirits of the restless dead making their presence known to the living? Join paranormal investigator Richard Estep, of TV's 'Haunted Case Files,' 'Haunted Hospitals,' and 'Paranormal 911,' as he and a small team of dedicated researchers are locked down inside Denver Botanic Gardens in an attempt to uncover the truth for themselves.

    This new collection of stories marks a departure in Barthelme's work with the introduction of a new mode in which he abandons all forms of characterization other than dialogue in an attempt to shift and alter reader expectations and perceptions

    With the help of Lord Busybody and his mechanical assistant Crank, Alice Sin - prostitute/assassin for hire - may be their only hope to restore peace and fulfill the United States prophecy. Many heads will roll along the way...

    Unenthused about attending a rich kid's party, Yuna sets out nonetheless. On her way, she walks straight into a face full of drama: a town with not one, but two warring feudal lords! Can the Bloody Bear calm these troubled waters? Or must she pick a side to support?

    Lord help her… NOTE: This volume contains the first three books of the Jessica Christ series, including ... Book 1: The BeginningBook 2: And It Was GoodBook 3: It's a Miracle!*Plus* the first chapter of Book 4: Nu Alpha Omega The Beginning Jessica McCloud knows first-hand that it’s tough to fit in when you’re God’s only begotten daughter. While she has the power to smite, and she’s privy to most of the juicy gossip in her West Texas town, nobody is knocking on her door with frankincense and myrrh. The Messiah-in-the-making still has to contend with algebra tests, her first crush, and menstrual cramps with the power to spark lightning storms…As if dealing with her overbearing Father and a scheming preacher wasn’t enough, Jessica must face down the demons that lurk around every corner. No matter what she wants from life, everything seems to lead to a final showdown with the devil. The daughter of God has a choice: face the destiny thrust upon her or find some way to forge her own path…And It Was GoodAs she enters the uncharted territory of high school, Jessica McCloud could use a few more friends who believe in her. Of course, that means something entirely different for the daughter of God. After her two-millennia-dead half-brother visits her in a dream and tells her it’s time for her to stop messing around, Jessica begins the hunt to discover what miracles she can perform. And if one of them happens to win the heart of her long-time crush, Greg, then so be it. But when a reporter with a grudge against God catches wind of her first miracle, Jessica stumbles her way through one scandal after another until she wonders if the world wouldn’t be a much happier place with no miracles at all. It's a Miracle! Miracles happen when you least expect them. And if you’re Jessica McCloud, God’s only begotten daughter, they happen when you least want them. Is an uneventful senior year of high school too much for Jessica to hope for?Yes. Yes it is.Instead of focusing on college applications, Jessica must juggle Jimmy’s newest scheme, Eugene’s latest slander, and a gruesome (unpaid) internship at Midland Memorial Hospital. And just when she’s starting to get the hang of it, a serious PR blunder ignites a firestorm of brand new accusations. It would take nothing short of a miracle for Jessica to come out on top this round, and she isn’t holding her breath…

    Buried there from time immemorial by a long-dead race of aliens, it had at last been triggered into action . . .For among the ruins of London, surrounded by the survivors of the recent holocaust, Hawkwind rock, their music catalysing the attacking Death Raythe only potential saviours of the human race otherwise doomed to extermination in an apocalyptic battle between the forces of good and evil . . .

    As their wedding day grows near, Alfred finds himself embroiled in an urban nightmare not the least of which is his fiance's family, the possiblity of marriage without Faith, muggings, and a sniper's bullet.

    Dave. So, we're pretty much doomed.The Chronicles of Dave collects two great Dave Hooper adventures in one volume. In A PROTOCOL FOR MONSTERS we get the real story of Super Dave's embiggening, not the drunken, drug addled lies he told us in EMERGENCE. And in A SOUL FULL OF GUNS we learn the origin story of the only human being capable of kicking Dave's ass – the super-powered Colonel Karin Varatchevksy. Sent by the Russian military to spy on the US, she might he only thing that saves it from the worst superhero ever.If you love your fantasy action ludicrously violent, and your heroes hilariously flawed, this collection is for you.

    He's resigned himself to a static existence, to living and dying in a world where every house looks exactly the same. Then he notices changes in his neighborhood. Tool sheds and playhouses are cropping up all over, hastily constructed and set at odd angles. The nutjob down the road builds an outhouse in the middle of his front yard, and the guy right next door is erecting two geodesic climbing domes, one nested inside the other. People are doing strange things on their lawns.

    You better pass it, feller. You’re joining the circus. Ain’t that the best news you ever got?"Delivered by a trio of psychotic clowns, this ultimatum plunges Jamie into the horrific alternate universe that is the centuries-old Pilo Family Circus, a borderline world between Hell and Earth from which humankind’s greatest tragedies have been perpetrated. Yet in this place—peopled by the gruesome, grotesque, and monstrous—where violence and savagery are the norm, Jamie finds that his worst enemy is himself. When he applies the white face paint, he is transformed into JJ, the most vicious clown of all. And JJ wants Jamie dead!

    And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race. Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

    Yeah, right--there is no sense in both us dying"), discipline ("If you've got to get whupped, your father is the man. Mothers don't stop until you're bleeding to death"), money ("Before computers, checks were great...local ones took fourteen days to clear"), men and women ("If there were no women in the world, men would be naked, driving trucks, living in dirt"), underwear ("Women, do not buy your men bikini underpants"), love ("If you can get a car with no money down, you can get a boyfriend or girlfriend"), marriage ("There is no compromise, you either go to the basketball game or you go to a movie you hate"), divorce ("there are no Betty Ford clinics for strung-out lovers. You have to go cold turkey"), dieting ("I would be hanging out at McDonald's, tapping on the window: 'Don't throw out those fries!'"), parenting ("When they caught Jeffrey Dahmer, his mom was protective: 'He always had a healthy appetite...'"), technology, and much more.