Joining single father Ben Hanson and his children for the holidays seems an easy enough task until Santa informs her that Ben is the man behind the disturbing new book 'Beyond Bah Humbug: Why Lying to Your Children about Santa Claus is a Bad Idea'.Posing as Miss Kane, the children's new nanny, Carol pulls out all the stops to show Ben how fun Christmas can be, all the while struggling to understand how one man could hate the holidays so much. How could she, Santa's only daughter, be so attracted to a man who refuses to believe her father exists?**Please note - this book was originally titled Carol's Christmas**

    Awful, terrible, despicable things are going to happen to this poor boy. And just when he thinks things couldn’t possibly get any worse. He discovers there’s a monster hiding in his closet. FING is a heart warming modern fairytale about the benefits of staying positive even when faced with the vile Mrs Lipstick!

    The setting? A galaxy far, far away...Roan's one dream is to leave home and attend Pilot Academy like his older brother, father, and grandfather. But just as Roan is mysteriously denied entrance to Pilot School, he is invited to attend Jedi Academy--a school that he didn't apply to and only recruits children when they are just a few years old. That is, until now...This inventive novel follows Roan's first year at Jedi Academy where, under the tutelage of Master Yoda, he learns that he possesses more strength and potential than he could have ever dreamed. Oh, and he learns other important things too--like how to make a baking soda volcano, fence with a lightsaber, slow dance with a girl, and lift boulders with the Force.

    A revisionist storyteller provides his mad, hilarious versions of children's favorite tales in this collection that includes "Little Red Running Shorts", "The Princess and the Bowling Ball", "Cinderumpelstilskin", and others.

    Eddie Dickens is sent off to stay with his aunt and uncle and a riotously funny comedy of errors ensues. When both Eddie Dickens's parents catch a disease that makes them turn yellow, go a bit crinkly around the edges, and smell of hot water bottles, it's agreed he should go and stay with relatives at their house, Awful End. Unfortunately for Eddie, those relatives are Mad Uncle Jack and Even-Madder Aunt Maud. . . . This hilarious historical spoof, the first in the Eddie Dickens trilogy, has been called ""a scrumptious cross between Dickens and Monty Python.""

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

     They say everyone has a skeleton in their closet, but why are so many of them coming to life? Tempest and Amanda work at the only paranormal detective agency in the book and business is booming. This second box set gives you over 1000 pages of pulse-pounding hilarious paranormal mayhem as they get themselves into yet more hot water solving cases no one else would be dumb enough to take. Dead Pirates of Cawsand – A ghost ship has been spotted off the coast of a quiet Cornish village where gold coins were recently found. Now skeletal pirates are wandering the streets, hiding in the mist to strike fear into the local community because they want their gold back. But they didn’t count on England’s best paranormal P.I. turning up. His well-earned break soon goes sideways as murder, kidnap, and ghost hunters ruin his vacation and threaten more than just his life. In the Doodoo with Voodoo – A client cursed by a voodoo priest is the start of a case that will push Amanda to her very limits. With Tempest away in Cornwall, Amanda has no back up, but she wants to do this for herself even though the priest is a scary character. However, when BFF Patience goes missing, it’s a race against time to solve the case before someone dies and she is about to find out just how badly she underestimated her suspect. The Witches of East Malling – There’s a storm brewing. It’s late Autumn in England, but the wet weather is hiding a dark crime – witches using lighting to kill! Hired to investigate, Tempest soon becomes a target himself when he comes face to face with a witch and she knows who and what he is. Is he closing in on the coven, or are they closing in on him? The deadly conclusion with leave you breathless. Crop Circles, Cows, and Crazy Aliens – Aliens? Really? There are lights in the sky, crop circles in the fields and the cows are producing glowing milk. It’s Amanda’s case, and seems a simple one until the first body shows up. Suddenly she has a mystery person leaving her clues, an internet star trying to help her investigation and conspiracy nuts raining from the sky. Is this the first wave of an alien invasion, or something far worse? Whispers in the Rigging – His dad reported stories of a ghost in the old Royal Dockyard, but that’s not why Tempest is going undercover. He’s there because his dad was found unconscious in a dumpster when he tried to poke around. Now Tempest must find out what is going on, but all too soon he realises there’s something beneath the dockyard that is much worse than ghosts. The paranormal? It’s all nonsense, but proving might just get them killed.

    There's no peace on earth when Christmas comes to the Smurfs Village, at least not while Gargamel is lurking about! In this special collection of frosty fun and frolic, before The Smurfs can stuff their stockings and open their presents, they have to deal with dragons, talking snowmen, grumpy bears, a kidnapped Santa Claus, and a reindeer chase through the starry night sky! It's a race to save Christmas in this smurfy Holiday treasure for the whole family.

    Be careful what you put in your ears...In this humorous short story, a trip to the pawnshop sends Bob Hanks on an unexpected adventure.Also from this author: The World of Godsland fantasy seriesThe Dawning of Power trilogy (Omnibus Edition available)Call of the HeraldInherited DangerDragon OreThe Balance of Power trilogy (Omnibus Edition available)RegentFeralRegal

    One morning he misses his bus when he stops to put a strange caterpillar in a matchbox. As the bus passes he’s shocked to spot himself inside. Like Schrödinger’s Cat in the famous quantum thought experiment, the caterpillar's spawned parallel possibilities. This comic novel explores Graham’s search for a better life among the various overlapping alternatives.Another clone, Grim Dupeint, is a loathsome international arms dealer. Graham infiltrates Grim’s corporation, then embezzles cash for charity. When a furious Grim realises, Graham must act fast. And right now he's acting like fish food.Graham launches upon a new lifestyle (and sex life) as he dons the designer suits of power. But sinister figures soon see through Graham’s clothing. Now Graham’s under attack from the corporation, the police, his ex-wife’s private detective, and an infuriatingly pompous water-colourist who Graham might have been if he’d gone to art college rather than business school. To survive (and steal the artist’s wonderful woman) Graham needs to find hidden resources. By definition Dopplegraham’s equally resourceful. Bugger...Schrödinger's Caterpillar - a stupid book for brainy people!

    This satirical novel tells the story of the surgical transformation of a dog into a man, and is an obvious criticism of Soviet society, especially the new rich that arose after the Bolshevik revolution.

    Lamb, an ordinary man who leads an ordinary life, until a chance encounter leads to him experiencing the world through the eyes of various animals. Thorne Smith again shows his mastery of the comic fantasy tale as Lamb lurches from one mishap to another, reeling from his wife's abandonment and the actions of his headstrong daughter and reveling in the new opportunities that his excursions into animal form provide.

    Created by New York Times best-selling cartoonist Stephan Pastis.Take eleven-year-old Timmy Failure — the clueless, comically self-confident CEO of the best detective agency in town, perhaps even the nation. Add his impressively lazy business partner, a very large polar bear named Total. Throw in the Failuremobile — Timmy’s mom’s Segway — and what you have is Total Failure, Inc., a global enterprise destined to make Timmy so rich his mother won’t have to stress out about the bills anymore. Of course, Timmy’s plan does not include the four-foot-tall female whose name shall not be uttered. And it doesn’t include Rollo Tookus, who is so obsessed with getting into "Stanfurd" that he can’t carry out a no-brainer spy mission. From the offbeat creator of Pearls Before Swine comes an endearingly bumbling hero in a caper whose peerless hilarity is accompanied by a whodunit twist. With perfectly paced visual humor, Stephan Pastis gets you snorting with laughter, then slyly carries the joke a beat further — or sweetens it with an unexpected poignant moment — making this a comics-inspired story (the first in a new series) that truly stands apart from the pack.

    Holiday spirit is everywhere, especially around Mintwood. Charlie is going all out with decorations and celebration. Greer is surly and Lemmi is looking forward to her first Christmas with Jasper. The only thing marring the excitement is the lack of snow. That changes right before Christmas, bringing a ragtag group of unexpected visitors and ghosts to Lemmi's farmhouse, perhaps even including a murderer. This is a short story just over 21,000 words.

    Laughing and jokes have been proven to have positive mental and physical effects on the body! This books is especially great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. Funny Christmas jokes Excellent for early and beginner readers Hours of fun and entertainment for kids and children Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud Funny and hilarious Christmas jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of Christmas jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to read and full of laughs!WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically! From this Funny Joke Book... Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?A: North Polish! HAHA! Q: What’s Scrooge’s favorite Christmas game?A: Mean-opoly! LOL! Q: What did they call Santa after he lost his pants?A: Saint Knickerless! HAHA! Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?A: Fleece Navidad! LOL! Q: What’s Tarzans favorite Christmas song?A: Jungle bells! Christmas Jokes for Kids! (Clean Jokes for Children) This awesome collection of Christmas jokes is one of the funniest collections in the world! These jokes about Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, elves, reindeer, presents, Christmas trees, and other Christmas and holiday fun of all shapes and sizes will make make you go wild with laughter. This joke book is excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Johnny B. Laughing is the online comedy king! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start giggling today! 100% Money Back GuaranteeTags: Christmas, kids Christmas, childrens Christmas, kids Christmas book, childrens Christmas book, funny jokes, Christmas jokes, Christmas joke book, jokes, Santa, Santa Claus, elf, elves, reindeer, Rudolph, Christmas, Christmas tree, Christmas jokes, Christmas joke book, joke book, books, ebook, funny, ebooks, comedy, hilarious, joke book about Christmas, kids joke book, children's joke book, ebook, laugh, kids jokes, kids joke books, Christmas book, childrens joke book, childrens joke books, laughing, lol, haha, best jokes, funniest jokes, Christmas jokes, funny jokes, funny joke, hilarious, jokes online, comedy, hilarious jokes, laugh, laughing, clean jokes, clean jokes for kids, free joke book, free jokes, free gift included, best jokes, funniest jokes, in the world, kids jokes about Christmas, free gift included, free joke book download, free joke book, ages 4-8, ages 6-8, preschool, early reader, beginner readers, Christmas books, kindle book, kindle joke book, jokes for kids, kids jokes, childrens jokes, funny jokes