A General Theory of Love


Thomas Lewis - 2000
    Three eminent psychiatrists tackle the difficult task of reconciling what artists and thinkers have known for thousands of years about the human heart with what has only recently been learned about the primitive functions of the human brain.A General Theory of Love demonstrates that our nervous systems are not self-contained: from earliest childhood, our brains actually link with those of the people close to us, in a silent rhythm that alters the very structure of our brains, establishes life-long emotional patterns, and makes us, in large part, who we are. Explaining how relationships function, how parents shape their child’s developing self, how psychotherapy really works, and how our society dangerously flouts essential emotional laws, this is a work of rare passion and eloquence that will forever change the way you think about human intimacy.

In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People


George K. Simon Jr. - 1996
    "This book clearly illustrates the true nature of disturbed characters, exposes the tactics the most manipulative characters use to pull the wool over the eyes of others, and outlines powerful, practical ways to deal more effectively with manipulative people."

Red Flags: How to know he's playing games with you. How to spot a guy who's never going to commit. How to force him to show his cards. (The Truth about ... of commitment and sudden loss of interest)


Brian Keephimattracted - 2015
     It’s time to use the secrets of the men who “play” games with women and find out - What the Red Flags are that will give him away sooner - How to find out if he sees a future with you - Why men play games with you (what are their motives?) - Two reasons why men won’t commit - The types of men who play games with you - Strategies to get him - How to force him to show his cards, how to find out the truth sooner than later - When and how to let him go, if needed. - How to test him and see if he’s willing to go the extra mile - My quick strategy to make a man commit. There are different types of men who play games with women. Not all of them are the obvious ‘player’, that’s the only type of player you can see from a mile away. No no, there are other types of men who use under the radar manipulation techniques to keep women interested, even though they see no future with her. It’s hard to date a man or be in a relationship (let alone a marriage) with a man who’s not really honest about his real feelings for you. In this book, you’ll learn what types of men play games, why they play those games, red flags to watch out for, and how to filter the true bad boys out of your life. You’ll learn how you can protect your heart from men who don’t even deserve your attention, let alone your love and devotion. I want you to understand what types of men play these games because this will help you identify them a lot sooner. Then I’ll teach you some strategies to quickly test him and turn things around. If he doesn’t respond well to those tests, at least you can be sure that he’s playing with you and it’s time to move on. I’ve been coaching women for many years now, and it frustrates me when I see how many men simply don’t respect women. They play with their hearts, their feelings, and their future. Since I’m a man myself, I know why men do what they do. I’m here to help great women like you who keep walking into the traps of the same disrespectful men. Men who play games do it with every woman they meet. If you’ve ever encountered one, it wasn’t personal; it’s just the way they are built. They don’t know any better. In my series of books, I try to uncover the truth about the man behind the game, so you’ll know what’s really going on in his mind. In this book, we’ll focus on the type of men who play games with women. These men know how to touch a woman’s hot buttons, how to make her happy, how to attract her into his trap. The problem is, because they’re not genuine, your gut feeling will start to notice the discrepancies, the little white lies, when his words don’t align with his actions. That’s when the emotional rollercoaster ride starts. Men who play games, and as you’ll see it’s not only the player type who does this, know how to hang a carrot on a stick in front of a woman. You might think this only happens to not-so-intelligent women. It doesn’t. Some of my clients have very high positions in international companies, household names, lawyers, surgeons, and so on. Yet they too fall for his games and step into his traps.

Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse


Shannon Thomas - 2016
    The cryptic nature of psychological abuse involves repetitious mind games played by one individual or a group of people. Psychological abuse leaves no bruises. There are no broken bones. There are no holes in the walls. The bruises, brokenness, and holes are held tightly within the target of the abuse.

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family


Eleanor D. Payson - 2002
    Reclaim your life from the one-way street! Disguised as high self-esteem, narcissism is actually a destructive form of self-love or extreme self-absorption."

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love


Sue Johnson - 2008
    In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from "Recognizing the Demon Dialogue" to "Revisiting a Rocky Moment" -- and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations.Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.

Why Him? Why Her?: Understanding Your Personality Type and Finding the Perfect Match


Helen Fisher - 2009
    Each of us, it turns out, primarily expresses one of four broad personality types—Explorer, Builder, Director, or Negotiator—and each of these types is governed by different chemical systems in the brain. Driven by this biology, we are attracted to partners who both mirror and complement our own personality type. Based on entirely new research—including a detailed questionnaire completed by seven million people in thirty-three countries—Why Him? Why Her? will change your understanding of why you love him (or her) and help you use nature’s chemistry to find and keep your life partner.

The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships


John M. Gottman - 2001
    . . . John Gottman has decoded the subtle secrets that can either enrich or destroy the quality of our ties with others.” Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D., author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship“John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again.”William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart“When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work.” E. Mavis Heatherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of VirginiaFrom the country’s foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life—with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman:* Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls “emotional connection”* Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid,” the fundamental unit of emotional connection* Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others’ bids

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance


Matthew McKay - 2007
    Research shows that DBT can improve your ability to handle distress without losing control and acting destructively. In order to make use of these techniques, you need to build skills in four key areas-distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook, a collaborative effort from three esteemed authors, offers straightforward, step-by-step exercises for learning these concepts and putting them to work for real and lasting change. Start by working on the introductory exercises and, after making progress, move on to the advanced-skills chapters. Whether you are a professional or a general reader, whether you use this book to support work done in therapy or as the basis for self-help, you'll benefit from this clear and practical guide to better managing your emotions.This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit — an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.

Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love


Pia Mellody - 1989
    Through twelve-step work, exercises, and journal-keeping, Facing Love Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines the recovery process for Love Addicts, and Mellody’s fresh perspective and clear methods work to comfort and motivate all those looking to establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships.

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself


Melody Beattie - 1986
    The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More.The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.Melody Beattie is the author of Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, The Codependent No More Workbook and Playing It by Heart.

Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families


Charles L. Whitfield - 1987
    Whitfield provides a clear and effective introduction to the basic principles of recovery. This book is a modern classic, as fresh and useful today as it was more than a decade ago when first published. Here, frontline physician and therapist Charles Whitfield describes the process of wounding that the Child Within (True Self) experiences and shows how to differentiate the True Self from the false self. He also describes the core issues of recovery and more. Other writings on this topic have come and gone, while Healing the Child Within has remained a strong introduction to recognizing and healing from the painful effects of childhood trauma. Highly recommended by therapists and survivors of trauma.

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving


David RichoDavid Richo - 2002
    Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:    1.  Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.    2.  Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.    3.  Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.    4.  Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.    5.  Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.

Undoing Depression: What Therapy Doesn't Teach You and Medication Can't Give You


Richard O'Connor - 1997
    This refreshingly sensible book teaches how to replace depressive patterns of thinking, relating, and behaving with a new and more effective set of skills.

Emotion Code: How to Release Your Trapped Emotions for Abundant Health, Love and Happiness


Bradley Nelson - 2007
    Releasing trapped emotions often results in the sudden disappearance of physical problems, self-sabotage, and recurring relationship difficulties. Filled with real-world examples from many years of clinical practice, The Emotion Code is a distinct and authoritative new work that is destined to become an instant classic on self-healing.