Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

    cartoons but were afraid to ask, this complete and indispensable reference will delight adults, children, and audiences all over the world.

    From Homer’s Odyssey and Hans Christian Andersen’s fairytale The Little Mermaid to T.S. Eliot’s "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" and the Disney animated film The Little Mermaid, this sea vixen has long seduced popular imagination. Cosmetic companies have drawn inspiration for their makeup lines from mermaids, as have designers throughout fashion history, from Jean Patou to Jean Paul Gaultier and Alexander McQueen. The fishtail dress is a perennial long red-carpet staple, favored by the likes of Marion Cotillard, Sofia Vergara, and Blake Lively.Divided into four sections—Fashion and Beauty; Arts and Culture; Real Mermaids and Where to Find Them; and Food, Entertaining and Stories of the Sea—The Mermaid Handbook is a unique and sumptuous compilation filled with creative ideas for decorating and living inspired by these beauties from the deep. Learn to make a sailor’s valentine; a mermaid comb and crown; and a pearl and sequin paillette necklace. There are recipes for mermaid-themed poke bowls, aquatic-themed honey gingerbread cookies, and the official cocktail of the 1960s-era mermaid attraction Aquarama.Folklore expert Carolyn Turgeon also includes profiles of true modern mermaids, tail makers, and mermaid bars; visits mermaid attractions like Weeki Wachee Springs; and provides tips on getting beachy mermaid hair and creating an alluring eye. This collector’s item also includes an inset image on the front cover; ornate metallic blue foil patterning on the front, spine, and back; blue stained edges; a satin bookmark, and quality paper.

    In this hilarious book of tongue-in-cheek poetry, the author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behaviour to ignorant humans. With titles like Who Is That on Your Lap?, This Is My Chair, Kneel Before Me, Nudge, and Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs, the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat authors throughout, this whimsical volume reveals kitties at their wackiest, and most exasperating (but always lovable).

     This booklet is for you if you are a Polytheist and: You want to honor your Gods outside of high tides and Sabbats, but you don't know where to start. You aren't sure what a daily devotional practice actually looks like, or how to incorporate one into your lifestyle. You need help forming reasonable goals in this area. You have a good idea of what you'd like to accomplish in your devotional life, but you could use some solid suggestions of how to get there. You've tried to build a daily devotional practice before, but you burned out, gave up, or became overwhelmed. You're a veteran to devotional Polytheism, but darned if you've ever figured out what to do with those prayer beads sitting on your shrine! You should skip this one if: You're looking for The One Right Way of Doing Devotion. This ain't it, and the author is allergic to that approach. You believe ideas from other spiritual paths are useless in your own. This booklet draws on ideas from multiple traditions. You're looking for a comprehensive, in-depth guide to Polytheism. This is a brief introduction for beginners with a very specific focus.

    Greer has developed a new energizing approach-made up of twenty-one stimulating techniques to interpret or deepen your understanding of each card. Just as the twenty-six letters of the alphabet can be combined to form billions of words, Greer's twenty-one methods can be used in any combination for gaining amazing new insights and perspectives.Emphasizing both traditional and personal methods of interpretation, Greer's techniques involve storytelling, sketching, symbols, metaphors, dialogues, acting, and other imaginative exercises. Designed to bring about interaction, transformation, and empowerment, this twenty-one-pronged approach to tarot can help readers expand standard interpretations and evolve new ways of connecting to the cards.COVR Award Winner for Best Divination Book

    Acts so powerful that they can scar a whole nation for generations. The perpetrators manage to achieve a level of notoriety only usually afforded to Hollywood icons. In their own twisted imaginations they sit in an Evil Hall of Fame among others of their kind: Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, Andrei Chikatilo all jostling for the top spot. Extreme Evil throws light on the most vicious crimes ever committed, and the turbulent lives of the men and women behind them. Contents:Cannibals including Albert Fish, Armin Meiwes, Dennis Nilsen, Eladio Baule, Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy Serial Killers including Andrei Chikatilo, H.H.Holmes, Javed Iqbal, John Wayne GacyLady Killers including Bell Gunness, Beverley Allit, Ilse Koch, Rosemary WestCult Killers including Charles Manson, David Koresh, Jim Jones, Shoko AsaharaTyrants including Adolf Hitler, Attila the Hun, Caligula, Pol Pot, Josef StalinChildren of Evil including Bryan and David Freeman, Edmund Kemper, Jon Venables and Robert Thompson

    He was never seen again. Two weeks before Altinger's disappearance, independent filmmaker Mark Twitchell began shooting a low-budget horror film about a serial killer who impersonates a woman on an online dating website to lure his victims to their gruesome deaths. But these are just the starting points of the stranger-than-fiction case of Mark Twitchell, a man with a startling plan to turn his life-long love of fantasy and desire for fame into reality:- Did Twitchell, in a horrific example of life imitating art, act out the grisly premise of his own script?- Obsessed with Dexter, the popular TV show and book series about a fictional vigilante serial killer, Twitchell assumed Dexter Morgan's profile on Facebook. But how far did he intend to take his fascination with Dexter?- Is the shocking document "S.K. Confessions" a graphic work of fiction that, as Twitchell claims, he wrote to promote his film? Or is it a diary he kept of his transformation into a killer, and proof that the police stopped a prolific serial killer at the very beginning?Veteran journalist Steve Lillebuen provides a gripping investigative account of the nesting doll intricacies of the case, plunging us into the world of pop culture fanaticism and into the mind of a self-professed psychopath. Drawing on extensive interviews, Lillebuen illuminates what can happen when some of our culture's darkest obsessions are pushed to extremes.

    An author blog doesn't have to follow the rules that monetized business blogs do. This book teaches the secrets that made Anne R. Allen a multi-award-winning blogger and one of the top author-bloggers in the industry.And you'll learn why having a successful author blog is easier than you think.Here are some things you'll learn in this book:1) How an author blog is different—and easier to maintain—than a business blog2) What authors should blog about at different stages of their careers3) Choosing the right blog topics for your genre and audience4) How one type of blogpost can build your platform quickly5) Basic SEO tips that don't make your eyes glaze over with tech jargon6) How to write headers that will grab the attention of Web surfers 7) How to keep your audience by learning the tricks of content writing8) Essential blog and social media etiquette rules9) What happens to your blog when you die?

    Dr. Stephen Gammon shares timeless biblical wisdom and treasured personal insights learned through 14 successive chapters of life in Walking With God: 101 Lessons for Life and Ministry. Applying these lessons will... • Heighten your enjoyment of walking with God • Expand your awareness of lessons God is trying to teach you • Reduce your resistance to leaving your comfort zone in obedience to Jesus • Increase your anticipation of fruitful ministry for Christ until your last breath About the Author Dr. Stephen Gammon is a third-generation minister and has walked with God since early childhood. A pastor since age 25, he has served more than 30 years wherever and whenever God has led him, including in two local church pastorates, as a denominational leader of ministers and churches (Conservative Congregational Christian Conference), and as an active duty and Navy Reserves chaplain. Steve and his wife, Helen, reside in Colorado Springs, Colorado. They have three adult children, a son-in-law, and a grandson.

    No cards, no coins, no charts of the planets--just a hand and the knowledge in this book. Whether your interest is serious or casual, Palm Reading for Beginners will open a world of insight into yourself, your friends, your family, and your future!Announce in any gathering that you read palms and you will be flocked by people thrilled to show you their hands. When you are have finished Palm Reading for Beginners , you will be able to look at anyone's palm (including your own) and confidently and effectively tell them about their personality, love life, hidden talents, career options, prosperity, and health.

    In this condensed edition, you'll find all the spirit animals from the original edition plus some new ones in a format that makes it even more user-friendly. Just as our ancestors and indigenous peoples knew, when an animal comes to you in an unusual way or repeatedly, whether in physical or symbolic form, they are serving as spirit guides attempting to get a message to you.

    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

     CollegeHumor.com is the National Lampoon of its generation. Since its creation in early 2000, the Web site has grown to become the nation’s most recognized comedy brand for young people. With eight million unique visitors a month, quarterly revenues surpassing $1.2 million, and a successful line of merchandise (from T-shirts to novelties)—not to mention a deal with Paramount to create and brand movies with CollegeHumor’s imprimatur—CollegeHumor is truly a franchise in the making. The CollegeHumor Guide to College is a laugh-out-loud depiction of the college experience. Written primarily by two of CollegeHumor’s most popular columnists, Ethan Trex and Streeter Seidell, this guide features all-new material not found on the Web site. It also includes helpful advice—the kind you probably won’t hear from a college counselor—on an array of subjects, such as food, clothing, parents, dating, sex, drinking, and roommates. Filled with outrageous illustrations, this edgy and irreverent book will be indispensable to all present and future undergraduates.

    The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.