Codependency - “Loves Me, Loves Me Not”: Learn How To Cultivate Healthy Relationships, Overcome Relationship Jealousy, Stop Controlling Others and Be Codependent No More


Simeon Lindstrom - 2014
     >>> 16 additional books included - LIMITED TIME OFFER! <<< If you’ve had difficulty with starting or maintaining relationships, issues with feeling jealous and possessive or find that your connections with others are more a source of distress than anything else, this book is for you. It may feel sometimes that an intense and serious connection with someone is proof of the depth of the feeling you have for one another. But be careful, obsession and dependency is not the same as love. In the codependent relationship, our affection and attention is coming from a place of fear and need. As a result, the partners never really connect with each other. They do endless, complicated dances around each others problems, but what they never do is make an honest human connection. In codependent relationships, manipulation, guilt and resentment take the place of healthy, balanced affection. Codependent partners are not necessarily together because they want to be, they are because they have to be, because they don’t know how to live otherwise. One partner may bring a history of abuse, a “personality disorder” or mental illness into a relationship; the ways the other partner responds to this may be healthy or not, but if they bring their own issues to the table too, they may find that the bond of their love is more accurately described as a shared and complementary dysfunction. Remember, the relationships we are in can never be better than the relationships we have with ourselves. Two unhappy people together never make a happy couple together. We cannot treat other people in ways we have never taken the time to consider before, and we cannot communicate properly if we are not even sure what it is we need to communicate in the first place. An individual with a mature, well-developed sense of themselves has the most to offer someone else. They have their own lives, their own sense of self-worth, their own strength. And when you remove need, fear, obsession and desperation, you open up the way for love and affection just for its own sake. Love is many things, but it’s cheapened when held hostage by the ego. Connections formed around ego and fear may be strong and lasting, but what keeps them going is mutual need. What could be more romantic than, “I don’t need to be with you. You don’t complete me at all. I am happy and stable and fulfilled without you. But I still want to be with you, because you’re awesome”? It all boils down to this: communication. Whether it’s through words or not, we are constantly communicating, and the accumulation of these little units creates this big thing we call a relationship.

Difficult Personalities: A Practical Guide to Managing the Hurtful Behavior of Others (and Maybe Your Own)


Helen McGrath - 2000
    And most of us hurt others occasionally, too. Now, authors Dr. Helen McGrath, a clinical psychologist and professor, and Hazel Edwards, a professional writer, offer this highly readable, extremely practical guide to dealing with the difficult personalities we encounter every day—in others, and in ourselves.Taking the American Psychiatric Association's widely used Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) as its starting point, Difficult Personalities helpfully outlines over a dozen different personality traits and types, detailing their common characteristics and underlying motivations. It also equips readers with numerous strategies for dealing with difficult behavior, including:Anger and conflict managementOptimism and assertion trainingRational and empathic thinkingReexamining your own personalityReaders will also benefit from sections on making difficult decisions and maintaining romantic relationships. Perfect for anyone who has ever wished that other people came with a handbook, Difficult Personalities illuminates the personality differences that so often serve as barriers to cooperation in the workplace and harmony at home.

You Can Be Right (or You Can Be Married): Looking for Love in the Age of Divorce


Dana Adam Shapiro - 2012
    A serial monogamist for more than two decades, Shapiro had just ended his fifth three-year relationship and wanted to know why the honeymoon phase never lasted until the actual honeymoon. Believing that you learn more from failure than from success, he spent the next four years interviewing hundreds of divorced people, living vicariously through the romantic tragedies of others, hoping to become so fluent in the errors of Eros that he would be able to avoid them in his own love life. The result is a timely treasure trove of marital wisdom—a provocative look inside the hearts, minds, beds, and e-mails of regular people who’d thought they found “The One” and lived to tell the tales of what went wrong. Shockingly intimate, universally relevant, and profoundly personal, this is a page-turning, voyeuristic peek into the private lives of our friends and neighbors that is as racy as it is revelatory. But ultimately, You Can Be Right (or You Can Be Married) is a hopeful investigation of modern love and a practical guide for any couple looking to beat the roulette-level odds of actually staying together forever.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond


Patricia Evans - 1992
    You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse--and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind of behavior--from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse.Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse--and the abuser.This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time!

Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time


Stephen Arterburn - 2000
    Original.

Relationship Grit: A True Story with Lessons to Stay Together, Grow Together, and Thrive Together


Jon Gordon - 2020
    This time, he teams up with Kathryn Gordon, his wife of 23 years, for a look at what it takes to build strong relationships. In Relationship Grit, the Gordons reveal what brought them together, what kept them together through difficult times, and what continues to sustain their love and passion for one another to this day. They candidly share their mistakes, decisions that almost destroyed their marriage, and successes so you can learn from their experiences and make your relationship stronger.If you're a fan of Jon Gordon's work, you will enjoy learning about the man behind the message, as he and Kathryn share the intimate details of their life together. The direct, transparent, and personal style will draw you in and help you see that, if you are dealing with a challenge in your life and relationship, you are not alone. Working, writing, and raising children hasn't always been easy for the Gordons, but by committing to one another and embracing the principles of G. R. I. T., they emerged from their darkest moments and built a deep and lasting love. In Relationship Grit, they speak candidly about what they have learned and how you can develop the grit to build beautiful relationships.Discover--in their own words--what Jon and Kathryn have learned about staying together during their 23-year marriage Learn the four principles of G. R. I. T. that you can embrace today to build the high quality relationships you want and deserve Find the strength you need to confront your past, overcome your flaws, and change for the better to improve you and your relationship. Embrace the Gordons' practical advice including 22 quick tips for a great relationship--11 from Kathryn and 11 from Jon--and start making your relationship the best it can be Relationships--particularly marriages--are about imperfect people coming together to work on their individual flaws and emerge stronger together. Relationship Grit will inspire and motivate you to engage in this remarkable and rewarding process.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk


Adele Faber - 1996
    Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down--to--earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.Recently revised and updated with fresh insights and suggestions, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk is full of practical, innovative ways to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships.

The Love Dare


Stephen Kendrick - 2008
    As a result, romantic hopes are often replaced with disappointment in the home. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.The Love Dare, as featured in the popular new movie Fireproof (from the makers of Facing the Giants), is a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love. Whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or healthy and strong, The Love Dare is a journey you need to take. It’s time to learn the keys to finding true intimacy and developing a dynamic marriage. Take the dare!

Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts


Harriet Lerner - 2017
    Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies—and why some people won’t give them—for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we’ve inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful “I’m sorry” and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.Why Won’t You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party—the one who has been hurt by someone who won’t apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.

I'm OK - You're OK


Thomas A. Harris - 1967
    “Happy childhood” notwithstanding, says Harris, most of us are living out the not ok feelings of a defenseless child wholly dependent on ok others (parents) for stroking and caring. At some stage early in our lives we adopt a “position” about ourselves which very significantly determines how we feel about ourselves, particularly in relation to other people. And for a huge portion of the population, that position is that I’m Not OK-You’re OK. This negative Life Position, shared by successful and unsuccessful people alike, contaminates our rational adult potential, leaving us vulnerable to the inappropriate, emotional reactions of our child and the uncritically learned behavior programmed into our parent. By exploring the four basic “life positions,” we can radically change our lives.

Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner


Cindy N. Ariel - 2012
    Other times, he or she may have emotional outbursts for no apparent reason. And in those moments when you can’t understand each other at all, you both feel fed up, frustrated, and confused.The behavior of people with Asperger’s can be hard to understand and easy to misinterpret, which is why it’s so important to learn more about your partner’s condition. The tools presented in Loving Someone with Asperger’s Syndrome will help you build intimacy and improve the way you and your partner communicate. Filled with assessments and exercises for both you and your partner, this book will help you forge a deeper, more fulfilling relationship.This book will teach you how to: • Understand the effect of Asperger’s syndrome on your partner • Practice effective communication skills • Constructively work through frustrations and fights • Establish relationship ground rules to help you fulfill each others’ needs

Not To People Like Us: Hidden Abuse In Upscale Marriages


Susan Weitzman - 2000
     In "Not to People Like Us" psychotherapist Susan Weitzman dramatically challenges this assumption. It is the first book to explore a previously overlooked population of emotionally and physically battered wives-the upper-educated and upper-income women, who rarely report abuse and remain trapped by their own silence. Weitzman draws on an in-depth study to document the shocking nature and incidence of abuse among the wives of professors, physicians and CEOs-many of them professionals and executives themselves. With keen insight and profound sensitivity, she reveals the unique path taken by the upscale wife-the early warning signs, the dilemmas and decisions, the dangerous desire to cover up and maintain appearances. The first book to condemn the legal and social service system for failing to recognize domestic violence among upper-income families, "Not to People Like Us" offers crucial information to help women find their way out of abusive relationships and toward safety and independence.

Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples


George O'Neill - 1972
    Sold more than 35 million copies and translated into 14 languages.

Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship Without Blowing Up or Giving in


Laurie Puhn - 2010
    Hard-pressed for quality time with our partners and spouses, it's easy to fall into a poor communication routine. How can two people who love one another so much have such difficulty talking to one another?Drawing on her expertise in legal mediation and conflict resolution, Puhn's fresh approach gives simple, 5-minute conversations that will instantly improve communication--as well as the quality of relationships. In Fight Less, Love More, learn how to identify and conquer the poor verbal habits, instinctive responses, and emotional reasoning that can cloud judgment and ultimately lead to the deterioration of otherwise healthy relationships.Love is conditional, argues Puhn, and for love to survive, couples don't need to talk more--they need to talk better. With exercises, examples, and sample scripts, Puhn's simple 5-minute strategies promise immediate results and provide long-lasting communication skills that couples can confidently employ when faced with future conflict.

Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them


Dave Carder - 2008
     With eye-opening stories, clinical insights, and up-to-date data, Dave Carder reveals what adulterers learned the hard way—and what they want the rest of us to know to save us the pain. Dave Carder, counselor and author of the bestselling Torn Asunder (100,000 in print), is a sought-after expert on issues of adultery. Here he helps you make your marriage adultery-proof by showing you: How attractions can lead to affairs Ways you may be vulnerable to affairs The common ingredients of adultery How to restore intimacy to your marriage How to make wise, protective decisions Marriage is too sacred to be taken casually. Affairs are a very real threat, and they can destroy lives and families. For this reason, Anatomy of an Affair should be on every church leader’s and marriage counselor’s required reading list, and in the home of every married couple. Includes charts and assessments to understand and guard against affairs.