On the very day Richard Millhous Nixon became the 37th President, Ivan was born into a dysfunctional family. From a mentally challenged mother to an incapable father and a fragile brother, Ivan was faced with challenges no child is ready for. And yet despite all the anger and frustration that came with them, he somehow managed to persevere, to become more what society deemed him to be: an executive. This creative uncensored biography recounts in vivid detail the anger and depression of growing up in poverty, the gripping homicidal effects of drugs, racism, police brutality and a broken government system. Ivan’s voice is expressed through a masterful use of syntax that reveals a soul that, while battered, is far from broken. His tale maintains steadfast a hope for a better future that would give Richard Nixon himself reason to pause. From Illinois to Indiana comes a story over forty-years that highlights the indomitable power of a determined soul. Relive some of the most unimaginable situations, leading up to a meeting with a certain angel that will change his life for the better. Find out how a word as simple as “FAVOR” can make all the difference in the world. This unrestricted story will leave you never looking at your own “Dirty Laundry” the same.

    Len Goodman tells all about his new-found fame, his experiences on Strictly Come Dancing, and also on the no.1 US show Dancing with the Stars and his encounters with the likes of Heather Mills-McCartney and John Sergeant. But the real story is in his East End roots. And Len's early life couldn't be more East End. The son of a Bethnal Green costermonger he spent his formative years running the fruit and veg barrow and being bathed at night in the same water Nan used to cook the beetroot. There are echoes of Billy Elliot too. Though Len was a welder in the London Docks, he dreamt of being a professional footballer, and came close to making the grade had he not broken his foot on Hackney Marshes. The doctor recommended ballroom dancing as a light aid to his recovery. And Len, it turned out, was a natural. At first his family and work mates mocked, but soon he had made the final of a national competition and the welders descended en masse to the Albert Hall to cheer him on. With his dance partner, and then wife Cheryl, Len won the British Championships in his late twenties and ballroom dancing became his life. Funny and heart-warming, Len Goodman's autobiography has all the honest East End charm of Tommy Steele, Mike Read or Roberta Taylor.

    During this time, I happened to cross a tunnel and kept on thinking while crawling my way out that “will there be light at the end of the tunnel?” Indeed there was. As I came out and dropped on my knees with my hands raised in air I heard a whisper, “What do you seek?” and the first words which came out of my mouth were “Sarcasm O’ Dear Lord.”

    Some of her finest parenting moments, she recounts, have involved deception. On planes she’s translated the garbled pilot’s announcement to her advantage saying, “This plane won’t ever land if you keep kicking the back of that seat!” and once introduced a new entrée to her fussiest eater by saying, “Honestly, we’ve had this before and you really liked it.” Among the 30 essays collected here (many previously published in the Chicago Tribune, Newsweek, the Christian Science Monitor, or broadcast on NPR's Lake Effect) are the author’s account of her first time cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the in-laws, an identity mix-up at a Chinese restaurant, and a description of the most important place she visited while in Washington D.C.—the women’s bathroom in the Department of Agriculture building. Throughout, McQuestion shares stories of her life and family with humor and heartwarming insights.

    Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.""Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.""The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

    She had questions: Was she a monster? Would she ever be able to grow sideburns? And most importantly, where was her penis?The problem was, it was the 1970s, so there were no answers yet.Here, Lorka tells the story—by turns hilarious and poignant—of her romp through the first fifty years of her life searching for sex, love, acceptance, and answers to her questions. With a sharp wit, endearing innocence, and indelible sense of optimism, she struggles through the awkward years (spoiler: that’s all of them) and discovers that what she thought were mistakes are actually powerful tools to launch her into a magical—and ridiculous—life.Oh, and she discovers that she can buy a penis at the store, too.

    Maintaining her sense of humor amid bathtime hysteria, birthday cake pop carnage and botched early morning conference calls, Brenner takes her readers through a series of hilarious adventures in modern parenting and family life. Join Brenner and find out why she won't let her husband go couch shopping on his own, why she is looking into buying stock in salt water taffy and how she lost her mind to motherhood, but why she doesn't mind at all.

    The life and times of a girl who has always loved animals, or how I went from dreaming about Rin Tin Tin to having dogs, cats, chickens, fish, cattle, turkeys, and guinea fowl, with guest appearances by horses, lions, and canaries.

    After Jancee Dunn had her baby, she found that she was doing virtually all the household chores, even though she and her husband worked equal hours. She asked herself: How did I become the 'expert' at changing a diaper? Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage - and the way their marriage will affect their child. Enter Dunn, her well-meaning but blithely unhelpful husband, their daughter, and her boisterous extended family, who show us the ways in which outmoded family patterns and traditions thwart the overworked, overloaded parents of today. On the brink of marital Armageddon, Dunn plunges into the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of the country's most renowned couples' and sex therapists, canvasses fellow parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an "explosive situation." Instead of having the same fights over and over, Dunn and her husband must figure out a way to resolve their larger issues and fix their family while there is still time. As they discover, adding a demanding new person to your relationship means you have to reevaluate -- and rebuild -- your marriage. In an exhilarating twist, they work together to save the day, happily returning to the kind of peaceful life they previously thought was the sole province of couples without children. Part memoir, part self-help book with actionable and achievable advice, How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids is an eye-opening look at how the man who got you into this position in this first place is the ally you didn't know you had.

    This hilarious and informative book is designed for anyone who is sci-curious and wants to know more about the world around them, especially the elements of everyday science that other books ignore.

    

    Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

    If you have ever failed at love, finances, been fired, not fit in, self-diagnosed yourself with disorders and conditions and/or said "I really need to get my s*** together," this is the book for you. Delight in Amy Lyle’s 45 years of missteps, inadequacies and faux pas. You may appreciate your own dysfunction a little more as you take a journey through Amy’s debacles including: “I Was Not Talking to You,” where Amy mistakes a handsome man waving at her as a potential suitor but in reality he was only trying to inform her that her belt was dragging on the freeway and “In the Neighborhood,” where members of a cult moving in concurred with a suspicious decline in the cat population. You will relish the chapters entitled “Calls from Sharon,” where Amy’s best friend rants about her kids not getting a fair shot because public schools are ‘so political,’ as her OB/GYN reported her vagina was ‘too clean’ and how the most eligible bachelor from 1982 married a whore. Enjoy “I’m Going to Kill You,” where Amy compares her lack of sleep from her husband’s snoring to CIA agents extracting secrets from a POW. Feel 20-32% better about your own life after reading “Getting Divorced Sucks,” where 911 was called after Amy had an adverse reaction from taking Xanax. THE AMY-BINEGAR-KIMMES-LYLE BOOK OF FAILURES is for anyone who has experienced their own disasters or takes pleasure in the failures of others. Includes Book Club questions. Comedy. Women humor. Funny non-fiction. Blended families. Summer read.

    Inspired by Victorian household manuals, Notaro chronicles her chronic misfortune in the domestic arts, including cooking, cleaning, and putting on Spanx while sweaty (which should technically qualify as an Olympic sport). Housebroken is a rollicking new collection of essays showcasing her irreverent wit and inability to feel shame. From defying nature in the quest to making her own Twinkies, to begging her new neighbors not to become urban livestock keepers, to teaching her eight-year-old nephew about hobos, Notaro recounts her best efforts—and hilarious failures—in keeping a household inches away from being condemned. After all, home wasn’t built in a day.

    From scorching her hoo-hah with jalapeños to attempting Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease in torn sweats and tube socks to her frustrated desire to pour tequila on her cereal when her kids say, ‘I’m booooooooored!,’ Heather Davis serves up hilarious tales of family-life insanity that are never mean (except when skewering herself) and never leave the reader screaming, ‘I’m boooooooored!’ TMI Mom FTW!” — Linda Erin Keenan, author of SuburgatoryEver wished you could say what you were really thinking?TMI Mom Heather Davis does just that. With her trademark dry wit and knack for storytelling, TMI Mom goes where no mom has been (at least in the pages of a book), with stories about the crazy things that can happen — in the minivan, the bedroom, and out in the big, bad world