We knew this instinctively as kids, but somehow forgot on the way to adulthood. We got busy and overwhelmed, started valuing things that don't matter, and learned to follow the rules that don't even exist:hate mondaysonly celebrate when the calendar gives you permissiondon't make a messdon't play hookyhide your weirdnesshide your wrinklescare what other people thinkFollowing these so-called rules is a terrific way to stress you out, sap your energy, and ensure a boring life. But there's a better way. In his enlightening book, author and artist Jason Kotecki uncovers some of the most useless rules so you can shift perspective and start seeing the world with wonder once again.It's time to stop living by someone else's rules. Your life is a story, and a short one at that. Make it a good one.

     As seen on ESPN's Cold Pizza Fantasy football -- one of America's most popular, and profitable, virtual pastimes -- became a way of life for sports humorist and author Mark St. Amant. Utterly fed up with never having won his league championship, St. Amant abandoned a successful advertising career to make fantasy football his full-time job, embarking on a sprawling reconnaissance mission to discover what really makes this game, and its 20 million players, tick. Committed is the result of St. Amant's ranting, relentless, and strategic pursuit of his own obsession. In this wickedly funny and deeply informative work, St. Amant offers readers an all-access sideline pass to his wild, unprecedented fantasy football season, and to the hobby itself. From its humble beginnings in a New York hotel in 1962 to a multibillion-dollar business today, from local and online leagues to high-stakes, cutthroat Las Vegas competitions, St. Amant lays bare the facts, figures, and fanaticism of fantasy football in all its multidimensional glory.

    A box set consisting of three Bill Bryson books, 'Notes from a Small Island', 'Notes from a Big Country' and 'A Walk in the Woods'.

    Not a bad recommendation.Danny Simon made his bones in the golden age of TV, on shows like Make Room for Daddy and Sid Caesar’s Show of Shows.Then he taught a legendary comedy writing class in L.A. for many years. A young writer named James Scott Bell took the course, and copious notes. These notes have never before been published. Bell is revealing these comedy secrets now for the first time.This booklet (4500 words) also includes an analysis of a legendary comedy show that Danny Simon had his students study. If you are serious about comedy . . . or if you just want to put more humor in your writing, this booklet will give you the tools. “I loved this booklet! So many great points. Terrific examples too. When I teach comedy, it is so challenging to really outline how to write a joke, all the setup that is involved, all the word play, all the reversals and the word choices. This is so well articulated. I will definitely reference it and promote it when I teach!” – Rene Gutteridge, author of Escapement and Never the BrideJames Scott Bell is one of the #1 bestselling writing coach of Plot & Structure and The Art of War for Writers. He is an award winning thriller author and seminar teacher.

    Woven throughout the ctional fun in Elliott's memoir are wonderful real-life anecdotes that will delight many new readers and loyal fans alike. "The arc of [Elliott's] career remains unique and inspiring . . . that he blazed a trail for Arrested Development and Community and all the other freaky, convention-outing TV comedies."—Grantland

    Poems, sketches, cartoons, short prose pieces and doctored photos.

     OB staff members write in with their strangest encounters, medics recall embarrassing moments, and nurses vent about frustrating incidents. We learn about even more odd things patients have gotten stuck in their orifices, and we share the laughter and confusion with the healthcare professionals who treated these patients. So, take this book to your nurses lounge to flip through while you're on break (WHAT BREAK?!), read it while you're staging, catch up on all the drama on your day off, or relive all the craziness while you're enjoying your retirement. You WILL laugh as you read firsthand accounts from healthcare professionals who share their experiences as a reminder that you are NOT alone, and you're not losing your mind!

    (Janet Maslin, New York Times)Someone is telling the story of the life of Charlie Barnes, and it doesn't appear to be going well. Too often divorced, discontent with life's compromises and in a house he hates, this lifelong schemer and eternal romantic would like out of his present circumstances and into the American dream. But when the twin calamities of the Great Recession and a cancer scare come along to compound his troubles, his dreams dwindle further, and an infinite past full of forking paths quickly tapers to a black dot.Then, against all odds, something goes right for a change: Charlie is granted a second act. With help from his storyteller son, he surveys the facts of his life and finds his true calling where he least expects it—in a sacrifice that redounds with selflessness and love—at last becoming the man his son always knew he could be.A Calling for Charlie Barnes is a profound and tender portrait of a man whose desperate need to be loved is his downfall, and a brutally funny account of how that love is ultimately earned.

    A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    Pel leads an uneventful life—quietly bluffing his way through his job and discovering new things to argue about with Ursula. But when his boss mysteriously disappears, Pel steps innocently into his shoes and his life spirals out of control in a chaotic whirl of stolen money, missing colleagues, and Chinese mafiosi.Its fractured thriller plot punctuated by blazingly hilarious set-piece arguments between the hapless Pel and the unflappable Ursula, Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About is a brilliant comic novel examining the unique warfare in long-term relationships.

    And she's determined to enjoy making quilts. In fact, she will not -- absolutely will not -- let the risk of making a mistake, or a less-than- perfect quilt, keep her from relishing the task! In the 34 chapters of this new book, Lisa covers: The need for new fabric colors -- "blurple," "rorange," and "brellow," to name a few; The virtues of lumps in a quilt; How to share your bum fat quarter at a fabric exchange; How crocheting doilies will drive you back to quilting; How to cope when your quilts lack depth and dimension. Lisa Boyer is a breeze of fresh air. She brings you back to the pleasure of quilting with her confessions and adventures in Stash Envy!

    With topics such as pointless professional development where the author learned how to make bird noises, insanely incompetent teachers who make the good ones look bad, the shit parades that are parent conferences, lack of discipline even for kids who attack people with weapons, outrageous parent requests such as checking the size and color of a teenager's poop, this follow-up to the wildly popular memoir Teacher Misery does not disappoint! Think the stories in Teacher Misery were crazy? Just wait till you read More Teacher Misery!"Morris opens up about the comical misery that has become the teaching profession-giving a voice to teachers everywhere." Parent Herald"One of the funniest teacher books you'll ever read!" Bored Teachers"The stories that Morris tells about the school system are riveting. The antics and violence and outright stupidity that she and other teachers have had to endure are outright insane -- some of it is so crazy it's almost unbelievable." Mission Incomplete"A must read for every single human being on this world, from teachers to parents, students, administrators,  just name it. Let me be honest, nonfiction kind of book is not my cup of tea, but this book is simply amazing, hilarious, keep surprising me non stop!" Jessica's Book Blog"This one is just the most hilarious and heart-breaking ever! Laugh out loud funny!" Teachers Are Terrific"Her stories are so ridiculous, that a non-educator might actually believe they're fabricated. Unfortunately, those of us who are on the inside know it's all too real. Her stories are laugh out loud funny, touching, and at times, maddening." Having a Mom Moment"This book is a great read and a real eye-opener." Carpe Librum"I recommend this book for many reasons. Morris is a great writer who did a great job at presenting her case. She is funny and entertaining. She is above all honest with her interpretation and the things that she sees around her. I liked the variation in text and material. Overall, this books needs to be spread around the country. She isn't the only person that feels this way. There are thousands of other people out there like her and their voices need to be heard." The Next Book on my List"This book was a HILARIOUS read!" The Simply Organized Teacher"I dare you not to laugh out loud!" Robin O'Bryant, New York Times bestselling author of Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves "Jane is a gifted storyteller, you will chuckle and you will sig. The perfect gift for your kid's teacher or a teacher friend!" Joyce Kaufman, EdD, Host of The Joyce Kaufman Show, Newstalk 850 WFTL "Jane Morris gives us a beautifully written exposé about the worst sides of today's students, parents and school administrators." Bruce Tulgan, bestselling author of Not Everyone Gets a Trophy: How to Manage the Millenials "Jane Morris lifts the curtain on the horror teachers in our country face every day." Laurie Notaro, New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club "The stories Morris tells are unbelievable and yet, I'm positive they're true." Jen Mann, New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat "Morris dishes on the truth about trying to teach in this culture and it is hilarious, informative, and insightful." Stefanie Wilder Taylor, New York Times bestselling author of Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay "A compelling answer to anyone thoughtless enough to assert that teachers have it easy.

    No one is actually compatible with anyone else/ we just all get swept away by lust or, deafened by the thrashmetal tick of the biological clock, shut down all critical facilities. Part 1 of Darkside Zodiac in Love is "I'm Your Venus," which is all about the planet of L.O.V.E. and Libra and Taurusthe signs it rules directlyand the havoc they can play in our lives. Part 2 shows how love hurts all the way around the zodiac. It identifies the cheaters, describes how members of each sign conduct themselves on dates and perform in bed, and provides compatibility charts and blinddate guides. Darkside Zodiac in Love will help readers take a cold, hard look at all the shabby tricks, manipulations, lies, and cruel intentions each sun sign tries to hide. It won't mend a broken heart, but it will tell readers who they are compatible with and who is likely to murder them in their sleep! It also tells readers what conniving, twotiming, icyhearted little love rats they really are, but then nothing comes for free, does it?! * Snarky, snarkywe all take love too seriously and astrology not seriously enough.

    Mixerman is a recording engineer working with a famous producer on the debut album of an unknown band with a giant recording budget. Mixerman is supposed to be writing about recording techniques, but somehow, through that prism, he has hit upon a gripping story. Like all great narratives, Mixerman's diary has many anti-heroes for whom we, the readers, can have nothing but contempt. The band consists of the four most dislikable human beings you can imagine. The singer is vain and pretentious. The guitarist is a serious depressive. The drummer is as "dumb as cotton," and the bassist is merely mean and petty, making him the only one that Mixerman can stand. All four of them hate each other's guts, and they haven't even been on tour yet. Mixerman takes you through the recording process of a bidding war band in over their heads with a famous record producer (also in over his head). Many find Mixerman's diary entries side-splittingly funny. Some find them maddening. And a select few feel they are the most despicable accountings of record-making ever documented.

    But will they write ANY essay you request? Only the WORST of these horrible companies were employed in the composition of Mindsploitation. A GREAT DEAL of money was wasted ACROSS THE GLOBE to commission what may be the dumbest collection of ridiculous assignments in HUMAN HISTORY.What does it say about our society that we can buy a quick custom eulogy for our grandmother, or pay to have a love poem for a mistress prepared by a stranger at the click of a button? How entitled is a culture that keeps these services afloat? Mindsploitation uses such questions as a launching pad for wildly entertaining comedic exchanges. The 50 assignments in this book hilariously explore self-help, spirituality, family, health, diet, pop culture, love, and more.