Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect


Matthew D. Lieberman - 2013
    It is believed that we must commit 10,000 hours to master a skill.  According to Lieberman, each of us has spent 10,000 hours learning to make sense of people and groups by the time we are ten.  Social argues that our need to reach out to and connect with others is a primary driver behind our behavior.  We believe that pain and pleasure alone guide our actions.  Yet, new research using fMRI – including a great deal of original research conducted by Lieberman and his UCLA lab -- shows that our brains react to social pain and pleasure in much the same way as they do to physical pain and pleasure.  Fortunately, the brain has evolved sophisticated mechanisms for securing our place in the social world.  We have a unique ability to read other people’s minds, to figure out their hopes, fears, and motivations, allowing us to effectively coordinate our lives with one another.  And our most private sense of who we are is intimately linked to the important people and groups in our lives.  This wiring often leads us to restrain our selfish impulses for the greater good.  These mechanisms lead to behavior that might seem irrational, but is really just the result of our deep social wiring and necessary for our success as a species.   Based on the latest cutting edge research, the findings in Social have important real-world implications.  Our schools and businesses, for example, attempt to minimalize social distractions.  But this is exactly the wrong thing to do to encourage engagement and learning, and literally shuts down the social brain, leaving powerful neuro-cognitive resources untapped.  The insights revealed in this pioneering book suggest ways to improve learning in schools, make the workplace more productive, and improve our overall well-being.

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle


Mark Wolynn - 2016
    Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains—but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited—that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn’t Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood.   As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn’t Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn’t Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.

What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing


Bruce D. Perry - 2021
    It is, in other words, the key to reshaping our very lives.”―Oprah WinfreyThis book is going to change the way you see your life.Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question.Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” Our earliest experiences shape our lives far down the road, and What Happened to You? provides powerful scientific and emotional insights into the behavioral patterns so many of us struggle to understand.Here, Winfrey shares stories from her own past, understanding through experience the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma and adversity at a young age. Joining forces with Dr. Perry, one of the world’s leading experts on childhood and brain development, Winfrey and Dr. Perry marry the power of storytelling with science to better understand and overcome the effects of our pasts.In conversation throughout the book, the two focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future―opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way.

Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior...and Feel Great Again


Jeffrey E. Young - 1993
    Young, Ph.D., and Janet S. Klosko, Ph.D., show readers how to free themselves from negative life patterns. Written with compassion as well as clinical insight, this thought-provoking book guides readers through the process of identifying "life traps." For example, "Do you put the needs of others before your own? Are you drawn into relationships with people who are self-centered, cold to you, misunderstand you, or use you? Do you feel inadequate compared to people around you?" Followed by an engaging discussion that makes use of case studies, this book can help people change their lives by stopping the cycle of self-destruction.

To Be a Man: A Guide to True Masculine Power


Robert Augustus Masters - 2015
    A groundbreaking guide to a genuinely healthy masculinity, at the heart of which is a potent pathway: facing our unresolved wounds and whatever else holds us back, bringing our head, heart, and guts into full-blooded alignment.To Be a Man clarifies what’s needed to enter a manhood as strongly empowered as it’s vulnerable, as emotionally literate as it’s unapologetically alive, a manhood at home with truly intimate relationship.In this book, readers will explore:• How your past may be dominating your present• Shame in its healthy and unhealthy forms, and how to make wise use of it• How vulnerability can be a source of strength• Emotional literacy—an essential skill for relational well-being• Releasing sex from the obligation to make you feel better• How to disempower your inner critic• Bringing your shadow (whatever you’ve disowned in yourself) out of the dark• Embodying your natural heroism and persisting regardless of fear• What women need from men• Understanding and outgrowing pornography• Entering the heartland of true masculine powerIf you’ve read your share of popular advice on relationships and being a man—but realize on a gut level that it’s going to take some serious inner work—here’s a great guide to that most rewarding of challenges: doing what’s needed to fully embody your authentic manhood.

Emotional Intelligence Training: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Emotions and Raising Your EQ (Positive Psychology Coaching Series Book 8)


Ian Tuhovsky - 2015
    Or, more importantly: do you believe you'd be healthier and happier if everyone who you live with had the strategies to regulate their emotions? ...right? The truth is not too many people actually realize what EQ is really all about and what causes its popularity to grow constantly. Scientific research conducted by many American and European Universities prove that the ‘common’ intelligence responses account for only less than 20% of our life achievements and successes, while the other more than 80% depends on the emotional intelligence. To put it roughly: either you are emotionally intelligent, or you’re doomed to mediocrity, at best. As opposed to the popular image, emotionally intelligent people are not the ones who react impulsively and spontaneously, or who act lively and fiery in all types of social environments. Emotionally intelligent people are open to new experiences, can show feelings adequate to the situation, either good or bad, and find it easy to socialize with other people and establish new contacts. They handle stress well, say ‘no’ easily, realistically assess the achievements of themselves or others, and are not afraid of constructive criticism and taking calculated risks. They are the people of success. Unfortunately, this perfect model of an emotionally intelligent person is extremely rare in our modern times. Sadly nowadays, the amount of emotional problems in the world is increasing at an alarming rate. We are getting richer, but less and less happy. Depression, suicide, relationship breakdowns, loneliness of choice, fear of closeness, addictions - this is the clear evidence we are getting increasingly worse when it comes to dealing with our emotions. Emotional Intelligence is a SKILL, and can be learned through constant practice and training, just like riding a bike or swimming! This book is stuffed with lots of effective exercises, helpful info and practical ideas. Every chapter covers different areas of emotional intelligence and shows you, step by step, what exactly you can do to develop your EQ and become the better version of yourself. I will show you how freeing yourself from the domination of the left-sided brain thinking can contribute to your inner transformation – the emotional revolution that will help you redefine who you are and what you really want from life. In This Book I'll Show You: -What Is Emotional Intelligence and What Does EQ Consist Of? -How to Observe and Express your Emotions -How to Release Negative Emotions and Empower the Positive Ones -How To Deal With Your Internal Dialogues -How To Deal With The Past -How to Forgive Yourself and How to Forgive Others -How to Free Yourself from Other People’s Opinions and Judgments -What Are "Submodalities" and How Exactly You Can Use Them to Empower Yourself and Get Rid of Stress -The Nine Things You Need to Stop Doing to Yourself -How to Examine Your Thoughts -Internal Conflicts Troubleshooting Technique -The Lost A

The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World


Marti Olsen Laney - 2002
    The better news is that by celebrating the inner strengths and uniqueness of being an "innie" THE INTROVERT ADVANTAGE shows introverts, and the extroverts who love them, how to work with instead of against their temperament to enjoy a well-lived life. Covering relationships, parenting - including parenting the introverted child - socialising, and the workplace, here are coping strategies, tactics for managing energy, and hundreds of valuable tips for not only surviving but truly thriving in an extrovert world.

Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success


Adam M. Grant - 2013
    But today, success is increasingly dependent on how we interact with others. It turns out that at work, most people operate as either takers, matchers, or givers. Whereas takers strive to get as much as possible from others and matchers aim to trade evenly, givers are the rare breed of people who contribute to others without expecting anything in return. Using his own pioneering research as Wharton's youngest tenured professor, Grant shows that these styles have a surprising impact on success. Although some givers get exploited and burn out, the rest achieve extraordinary results across a wide range of industries. Combining cutting-edge evidence with captivating stories, this landmark book shows how one of America's best networkers developed his connections, why the creative genius behind one of the most popular shows in television history toiled for years in anonymity, how a basketball executive responsible for multiple draft busts transformed his franchise into a winner, and how we could have anticipated Enron's demise four years before the company collapsed - without ever looking at a single number. Praised by bestselling authors such as Dan Pink, Tony Hsieh, Dan Ariely, Susan Cain, Dan Gilbert, Gretchen Rubin, Bob Sutton, David Allen, Robert Cialdini, and Seth Godin-as well as senior leaders from Google, McKinsey, Merck, Estee Lauder, Nike, and NASA - Give and Take highlights what effective networking, collaboration, influence, negotiation, and leadership skills have in common. This landmark book opens up an approach to success that has the power to transform not just individuals and groups, but entire organizations and communities.

The Masculine in Relationship: A Blueprint for Inspiring the Trust, Lust, and Devotion of a Strong Woman


G.S. Youngblood - 2019
     In this book is a model of Masculine groundedness that you can manifest in your relationship with a strong and capable woman. Such a woman doesn’t settle for mediocre. She needs you to consistently follow through on your word, have purpose in life, remain grounded in the face of her intense emotion, make her feel safe, and provide leadership in the relationship. When that doesn’t happen, she may start to drift. Things between you will start to feel flat, contentious, or even toxic. To you, she will seem to nag and criticize more, and have less interest in sex. When she gets really angry, you’ll label it as “crazy” and blame her. But, in truth, she’s just expressing the pain of you not stepping up. It is a relationship arc that is all too common. Fighting or defending yourself doesn’t resolve anything. Withdrawing into work or your phone just makes it worse. And contorting yourself to avoid conflict just kills her respect for you. The answer is to develop and live from your Masculine core. This book shows you how in an actionable three-part framework: Respond vs. React, Provide Structure, and Create Safety. This is not the old model based on control, but a modern model based in clarity and leadership. This is not a manual for Alpha Dogs, nor a fuzzy spiritual guide. Rather, it is a clear set of principles that help you develop your Masculine leadership. And it doesn’t take anything away from Feminine power. It is a blueprint for inspiring your woman’s trust, lust, and devotion.

The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters


Priya Parker - 2018
    If we can understand what makes these gatherings effective and memorable, then we can reframe and redirect them to benefit everyone, host and guest alike. Parker defines a gathering as three or more people who come together for a specific purpose. When we understand why we gather, she says -- to acknowledge, to learn, to challenge, to change -- we learn how to organize gatherings that are relevant and memorable: from an effective business meeting to a thought-provoking conference; from a joyful wedding to a unifying family dinner. Drawing on her experience as a strategic facilitator who's worked with such organizations as the World Economic Forum, the Museum of Modern Art, and the retail company Fresh, Parker explains how ordinary people can create remarkable occasions, large and small. In dozens of fascinating examples, she breaks down the alchemy of these experiences to show what goes into the good ones and demonstrates how we can learn to incorporate those elements into all of our gatherings. The result is a book that's both journey and guide, full of big ideas with real-world applications that will change the way you look at a business meeting, a parent-teacher conference, and a backyard barbecue.

Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way


Gary Chapman - 2007
    . . again.Getting angry is easy. Daily irritations, frustrations, and pain poke at us. Feelings of disappointment, hurt, rejection, and embarrassment prod in us. And once the unwieldy cluster of emotions of anger are aroused, our thoughts and actions can feel out of control and impossible to manage.Dr. Gary Chapman, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages®, offers helpful-and sometimes surprising-insights into why you get angry and what you can do about it. Using real-life stories and practical principles, Chapman explains how you can channel anger in ways that are healthy and productive. You'll also be equipped to help those you love (including your children) deal with their own anger, as well as effectively deal with those long-simmering feelings of anger toward people in your past.Includes an assessment that will help you discover your personal propensity toward handling anger and how to effectively tame it when it arises.

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities


Dossie Easton - 1997
    Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms. "I couldn't stop reading it, and I for one identify as an ethical slut. This is a book for anyone interested in creating more pleasure in their lives . . . a complete guide to improving any style of relating, from going steady to having an extended family of sexual friends." --Betty Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for One

Skill with People


Les Giblin - 1965
    Communicate with impact. Influence with certainty. Listen with sensitivity. Skill With People shows you how! About the Author Les Giblin has conducted more than 1,000 Skill With People seminars for hundreds of companies and associations, including Mobil, General Electric, Johnson & Johnson, Caterpillar, Blyth Eastman Dillon, Retail Jewelers of America, PGA, National Association of Insurance Agents, plus hundreds of sales and marketing clubs and hundreds of top stores. Les Giblin was 1965 National Salesman of the Year. His book Skill With People has sold over 2,000,000 copies, while his other book, How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People, has sold over 700,000 copies. He has authored three bestselling handbooks. Les Giblin's audiovisual programs are widely used. One association enrolled 5,000 people in his Skill With People seminar--another company put 7,000 people through his "Better Selling" program. Les Giblin's track record and his hundreds of thousands of enthusiastic seminar participants and readers attest to his effectiveness as a top teacher of skill with people.

Bringing Out the Best in People: How to Enjoy Helping Others Excel


Alan Loy McGinnis - 1985
    There are actually a small number of principles used by good motivators, and the best leaders were using them long before psychology had a name. Fascinating case studies and anecdotes about Lee Iacocca, Sandra Day O'Connor, and many others show how you can put 12 key principles to work in your family or organization. Whether you are a parent, executive, teacher, or friend, you can gain the satisfaction that comes from Bringing the Best Out in People.

Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World


David Epstein - 2019
     Plenty of experts argue that anyone who wants to develop a skill, play an instrument, or lead their field should start early, focus intensely, and rack up as many hours of deliberate practice as possible. If you dabble or delay, you'll never catch up to the people who got a head start. But a closer look at research on the world's top performers, from professional athletes to Nobel laureates, shows that early specialization is the exception, not the rule.David Epstein examined the world's most successful athletes, artists, musicians, inventors, forecasters and scientists. He discovered that in most fields--especially those that are complex and unpredictable--generalists, not specialists, are primed to excel. Generalists often find their path late, and they juggle many interests rather than focusing on one. They're also more creative, more agile, and able to make connections their more specialized peers can't see.Provocative, rigorous, and engrossing, Range makes a compelling case for actively cultivating inefficiency. Failing a test is the best way to learn. Frequent quitters end up with the most fulfilling careers. The most impactful inventors cross domains rather than deepening their knowledge in a single area. As experts silo themselves further while computers master more of the skills once reserved for highly focused humans, people who think broadly and embrace diverse experiences and perspectives will increasingly thrive.