One waiter, one customer. The overnight fry cook rambles up to the pie case to take his nightly hit of dessert-topping propellant. It’s not a complete surprise when he falls to the floor; the stuff gives him the spins. That’s the point. It’s a bad moment for the boss to arrive, though. It’s worse when the cook turns out to be dead - from a bullet no one heard. For the waiter, it’s the start of the the worst few months of his life, and before it’s done he’ll be neck-deep in drug deals, romances with a faithless minx and an unintelligible Russian teacher - and a plot by campus radicals to blow something big. It’s 1980, after all. No shortage of things to deplore. They’re not too concerned with disco, though; that seems to be on the way out. “Graveyard Special” is another humorous mystery by the author of “Falling Up the Stairs,” and the first in a series of interconnected mysteries that span six decades.

    So he agrees to run an errand for his former boss and lover, Alexandra Illandryan, formidable pakhan of the Armenian mob in L.A. All Shake has to do is deliver a package to Las Vegas and pick up a briefcase. But the package turns out to be a wholesome young housewife named Gina who's run afoul of Dick "The Whale" Moby, a murderous 300-pound strip club owner. Shake decides to set Gina free and now the two of them are on the run to Panama, hoping to sell the valuable (and unusual) contents of the briefcase. But first Shake will have to out-maneuver two angry crime bosses, an Armenian thug plagued by erectile super-function, and a devious billionaire swindler. Not to mention, Shake will have to survive his own heart, since he's going to discover that Gina is more complicated than he thought.

    His arrival causes cheeks to flush and arms to fold in disapproval. No one in the village - living or dead - will tell what happened to the teenage mother who abandoned him as a baby, despite Mahony's certainty that more than one of them has answers. Between Mulderrig’s sly priest, its pitiless nurse and the caustic elderly actress throwing herself into her final village play, this beautiful and darkly comic debut novel creates an unforgettable world of mystery, bloody violence and buried secrets.

    Collected here from various sources (including the Guardian and GQ America) are the best of his adventures. Always intrigued by our ability to believe the unbelievable, Jon meets the man preparing to welcome the aliens to earth, the woman trying to build a fully-conscious robotic replica of the love of her life and the Deal or No Deal contestants with a fool proof system to beat the Banker. Jon realises that it’s possible for our madness to be a force for good when he meets America’s real-life superheroes or a force for evil when he meets the Reverend ‘Death’ George Exoo, who has dubiously assisted in more than a hundred mercy killings.He goes to a UFO convention in the Nevada desert with Robbie Williams, asks Insane Clown Posse (who are possibly America’s nastiest rappers) whether it’s true they’ve actually been evangelical Christians all along and rummages through the extensive archives of Stanley Kubrick. Frequently hilarious, sometimes disturbing, always entertaining, these compelling encounters with people on the edge of madness will have you wondering just what we’re capable of.

    With these characters William will make us laugh and cry. And never again will we think that someone is just a regular bloke - everyone can be a king or a queen in their own suburb.

    His chosen profession, however, might not sit well with some. Bernie is a burglar, a good one, effortlessly lifting valuables from the not-so-well-protected abodes of well-to-do New Yorkers like a modern-day Robin Hood. (The poor, as Bernie would be the first to tell you, alas, have nothing worth stealing.)He's not perfect, however; he occasionally makes mistakes. Like accepting a paid assignment from a total stranger to retrieve a particular item from a rich man's apartment. Like still being there when the cops arrive. Like having a freshly slain corpse lying in the next room, and no proof that Bernie isn't the killer.Now he's really got his hands full, having to locate the true perpetrator while somehow eluding the police -- a dirty job indeed, but if Bernie doesn't do it, who will?

    In these eight stories, the master burglar indulges his passion for cricket and crime: stealing jewels from a country house, outwitting the law, pilfering from the nouveau riche, and, of course, bowling like a demon-all with the assistance of his plucky sidekick, Bunny. Encouraged by his brother-in-law, Arthur Conan Doyle, to write a series about a public school villain, and influenced by his own experiences at Uppingham, E. W. Hornung created a unique form of crime story, where, in stealing as in sport, it is playing the game that counts, and there is always honor among thieves.

    It's nothing like the suburb you might live in . . . Unless, that is, an insane, Listerine-guzzling Realtor sold you your house? Or perhaps your postman happens to have a disturbing relationship with his claw hammer? A grieving Dan LaBarbara knows something is different in Helltown as soon as he comes back home. Yeah, sure, the town always been a little off. You can feel that about the place, like if you stepped into a house whose only occupants were freshly murdered corpses in an upstairs bedroom. But this is something else entirely. Standing in his little brother Barbie's basement workshop, holding one of those dioramas Barbie's been building since the accident, the ones that seem to move when you hold them, Dan can feel Barbie's terror. Barbie must know something is coming, something big, something evil. He's trying to warn Dan in the only way he knows. Why else would Barbie build a diorama depicting a man-sized version of a cartoon rabbit with bloody teeth about to devour a trembling teenager? Why else would he spend so much time crafting an intricate model of Death standing over a pimply teenager in the school library? And let's not even talk about that little model of the mob of undead surrounding the massive tower of vicious black spines behind the high school. Hilltown has a story to tell, and the lonely brain-damaged man who builds magical dioramas in his basement workshop has been telling it all along. As the evil closes in around them, Dan and his new love interest Jessica must do the impossible: save everyone one in Hilltown before it's too late.

    . .Back in the day Jeremy was far more likely to be found gunning around the world in a haze of burnt rubber and petrol fumes. But life as a globe-trotting petrol-head also meant he was forced endure more than his fair share of foolishness, frustration and downright bafflement. And, while Jeremy may not a patient man, you have to ask why anyone should have to consider issues as diverse and perplexing as:-The downsides of relaxing in a bath of crude oil-Why fishing is for people who hate their kids-Whether there are noise-cancelling headphones with the power to silence James May-Why saving the planet means soggy paper straws and no more children-What to do about the rambler who stole his marrowBut as puzzling and exasperating as life on the road often seemed to be, you could always count on Jeremy to set the world to rights with a rare wit and unique understanding. And at full throttle. Just don't expect it to all go smoothly . . .Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

    In Sneeze for Danger, a killer is unmasked by unfortunate means, and in The Consolation Blonde, a misunderstanding turns a bestselling author to crime…‘Very smart and memorable . . . both stories are great reminders of a time when McDermid was sharpening her teeth on the crime fiction genre and the great writer she was to become . . . an excellent aperitif before the next McDermid novel’

     When Joy Vincent disappears in the Blue Summit Mountains of Tennessee while vacationing with her family, park rangers begin an intensive search for the Louisiana high school junior. Seven weeks later, the search is abandoned and authorities conclude that Joy voluntarily ran away because of a fight with her father. Unwilling to believe it, Abraham Wilson makes the long drive to the mountains and sets off on a journey that will change his life--and the lives of his friends, Brett Lester and Charlie Rickman--forever. Will they discover the secret behind Joy's disappearance, or will they meet with the same fate? (NOTE: Originally published on April 5, 2015 by Amber Quill Press, LLC)

    Sure, age isn't a problem. Neither are her looks. Heaven knows that plenty of perfectly respectable men would consider themselves lucky to end up with someone like her. Then again, the last perfectly respectable man to end up with her - her ex-husband - ended their marriage, not to mention Jane's belief in happy endings...But she just can't muster the cynicism to resist William Andrews - a dashing, debonair widower with two children of his own. Soon, Jane's doing what she swore she'd never do: Marching down the aisle, promising to have, hold, serve, and protect, 'til death do them part. But why does Andrew seem so obsessed with his dead wife? And why do the children seem to hate Jane so passionately?As Jane struggles to understand the nature of the powerful hold Andrews's first wife still exerts over the husband and children she left behind, her day-to-day life grows increasingly more dangerous. During a family outing, she is suddenly thrown violently from her horse. Had someone deliberately spooked the horse? As she takes a midnight swim, the mechanical dome over the pool closes on her. Did it short circuit, or was it sabotage? Are these just coincidences, or are the stakes and risks getting higher the closer Jane gets to the truth? Someone would clearly like to see her follow the first Mrs. Andrews to the grave. Why?In a thriller that moves from New York to Paris to the Caribbean, a plot filled with relentless suspense, and a witty and intelligent heroine worth cheering for, this latest from Diana Diamond is her best yet, an unputdownable romance of deadly proportions.

    ("My sister's married to a Polynesian! I just love your culture!") So Sophie knows it's not paranoia, or post-divorce, living-alone-again jitters, when she becomes convinced that a crazed reader is sneaking into her apartment to reenact scenes from her books. The police, however, can't tell a good plot from an unmarked grave.When a filmmaker friend is brutally murdered in the manner of a death scene in one of his movies, Sophie becomes convinced that a copycat killer is on the loose...and that she's the next target. If she doesn't solve the mystery, her own best seller will spell out her doom. Cursing her grisly ending (why, oh, why did she have to pick the axe?), Sophie engages in some real-life gumshoe tactics.The man who swoops in to save her in dark alleys at night is mysterious new love interest Anatoly Darinsky. Of course, if this were fiction, Anatoly would be her prime suspect.

    Why, specifically?”“I like to build things.”As of the time of writing, more than ten million copies of E L James’ “Fifty Shades of Grey” have been sold worldwide. Whether you find this notion inspiring or terrifying, there’s no escaping the fact that, as literary events go, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is at least...significant. And books that are...significant...deserve to be subjected to thorough critical and textual analysis. By taking it apart into teeny tiny small pieces and put those pieces under a spiteful and mean-spirited microscope, we may all just learn something about the elusive nature of the bestseller,“Lighter Shades of Grey” is a chapter-by-chapter dissection of “Fifty Shades of Grey”, cataloguing unusual leaps of logic, surprising deductions, exciting exchanges of dialogue, recurrent motifs and stand-out moments, that will allow you to better appreciate / enjoyably ruin for others the “Fifty Shades” experience. It also provides definitive answers to questions such as “How often does Ana say ’oh my’?”, “How often do people’s mouths fall open in surprise?” and “Is Christian Grey a diagnosable psychopath?”Building on the viral hit blog-entry, “Fifty Things That Annoy Me About Fifty Shades Of Grey”, “Lighter Shades of Grey” is the perfect snarky companion to this year’s most inexplicable blockbuster. (Approximately 31,000 words; 30 pictures)