Yngwie Malmsteen's revolutionary guitar style—combining elements of classical music with the speed and volume of heavy metal—made him a staple of the 80s rock scene. Decades later, he's still a legend among guitarists, having sold 11 million albums and influenced generations of rockers since. In Relentless, Malmsteen shares his personal story, from the moment he burst onto the scene seemingly out of nowhere in the early 80s to become a household name in the annals of heavy metal. Along the way, he talks about his first bands, going solo, his songwriting and recording process, and the seedy side of the rock business.

    Johnstone, an outfielder and pinch hitter for the Dodgers, Cubs, Padres, Yankees, Phillies, A's, and White Sox shares humorous stories about his teammates and career.

    Facing 50 and all that it entails is problematic enough. What's the point in minking your eyes, when your husband would rather watch 'Russia Today' than admire you, strutting in front of the television in only thigh boots and a thong? Her son has managed to perform yet another magical disappearing act. Could he actually be buried under the mountain of festering washing which is strewn on his bedroom floor? He'll certainly be buried somewhere when she next gets her hands on him. At least her mother knows how to enjoy herself. She's partying her twilight years away in Cyprus. Queen of the Twister mat, she now has a toy boy in tow. She really shouldn't have pressed that send button. The past always catches up with you sooner or later. Still, her colourful past is a welcome relief to her monochrome present; especially when it comes in the shape of provocative Todd Bradshaw, her first true love. Soon Mandy has a difficult decision to make; one that will require more than a few glasses of Chianti. Featured in Woman's Own, Yours and Choice magazine Winner of four awards for humour including 2012 Reader Views "Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines" was a feel-good book and one that I would highly recommend to any woman who is even remotely battling a mid-life crisis. If Amanda could do it, we all could! Olivera Baumgartner - Jackson for Reader Views Packed with humorous adventures and witty observations, this modern day novel has subtle tones of Bridget Jones's Diary and kept me gripped from start to finish. Jenny Itzcovitz - Features Editor of Sixtyplussurfers

    It's overflowing with TG genius, geeky automotive facts, photographs of the slickest, fastest cars on the planet (and a few old bangers), plus plenty of Clarkson, Hammond and May as you've never seen them before, including Jeremy Clarkson as a Reliant-driving crime fighter.You'll also find Top Gear's innovative designs for a low-budget Presidential limo, Richard Hammond's guide to making nature better (or faster, anyway), the owner's manual for the TG electric car, the secret Top Gear things you've never seen, and a Foreword from the Stig himself. With all this, and much, much more, we can guarantee it's literally the loudest, most ambitious, most powerful and explosive book in the world.

    • Exhausting—when you realize you’ll most likely never sleep again--like EVER. • Explosive—OMG these kids spew from both ends! And that’s just the beginning. Whitney shares the ridiculous highs and excruciating lows of her catapult into motherhood. Enjoy the ride as this new mom vows to give up profanity while falling in love with… you guessed it, Costco. Be careful, because if you’re anything like Whitney, you may just pee a little. Motherhood Martyrdom & Costco Runs takes the reader on a roller coaster of emotions as Whitney plummets into postpartum depression, desperately tries to get her kids to stop yodeling in public restrooms, and comes to terms with the fact she’ll never quite be queen of her own kingdom. Get ready to laugh, cry, cheer, and pat yourself on the back for the sake of mommies everywhere. And while you’re at it, stop by Costco for a case of toilet paper and a Very Berry Sundae. You won’t regret it!

    Together they explore the fat-underworld of London including blind dates, Internet dating, phone sex and the possibilities of lifetime celibacy.When a week-long getaway to Greece turns into a whirlwind of romance, sex and horrific embarrassment, each one of them will have to decide what they really want in life.

    Baiting is the art of luring unsuspecting pedophiles (as well as the occasional religious zealots and others) into online chat with a false persona and then turning the conversations into the most vile, merciless and hilariously abusive logs ever recorded on the World Wide Web. This book will leave you less afraid of internet predators, yet more terrified knowing that people this stupid live among us without supervision. Either way, you will never look at Instant Messenger the same way again.

    The process of finding these elite athletes is not simply a matter of jotting down some movements on a piece of a paper. Nor is it random, although the best athletes are prepared for any physical challenge. The purpose of this book is to chronicle the process used to develop and refine the events that tested the best athletes in the world in 2017. Dave Castro, Director of the CrossFit Games, will take you from the early stages of the season to the end of the final event in Madison, and he’ll share detailed thoughts on every aspect of the competition, including the workouts of the Open and Regional rounds. In 2017, this is how Castro constructed the tests that defined the CrossFit Games and determined the Fittest on Earth.

    Part comedy, part anthropological study, here is everything Sara Pascoe has learned from scientists, sex education teachers, pornographers and 90s films about love, cruelty, domination, masculinity, status, and economic pressures.Is internet porn ruining marriage?'Mind Rape' isn't a thing, is it?Like her much-loved first book, Animal, Pascoe overthinks and overshares in the name of our entertainment and education.Sex Power Money is a whip-smart, winningly funny look into who – and what – we are, and what makes us tick.

    Why else would you be looking at this book? If you have ever wanted to see behind the front lines of retail, this is the book for you. If you want to validate your own experiences in retail, this is the book for you. If you just want to laugh at humorous things from funny people, this is the book for you. Packed full of true short stories from working in one of these super stores, only one conclusion can be reached in the end: Wal-Mart is the craziest place on Earth!

    A searingly candid memoir." -- Kirkus "Far from your cookie-cutter story of addiction . . . [I'm Just Happy to Be Here] describes Hanchett's journey to recovery and sobriety in imperfect and unconventional ways." -- Bustle In this unflinching and wickedly funny memoir, Janelle Hanchett tells the story of finding her way home. And then, actually staying there. Drawing us into the wild, heartbreaking mind of the addict, Hanchett carries us from motherhood at 21 with a man she'd known three months to cubicles and whiskey-laden domesticity, from judging meth addicts in rehab to therapists who "seem to pull diagnoses out of large, expensive hats." With warmth, wit, and searing B.S. detectors turned mostly toward herself, Hanchett invites us to laugh when we probably shouldn't and to rejoice at the unconventional redemption she finds in desperation and in a misfit mentor who forces her to see the truth of herself. A story of ego and forced humility, of fierce honesty and jagged love, of the kind of failure that forces us to re-create our lives, Hanchett writes with rare candor, scorching the "sanctity of motherhood," and leaving beauty in the ashes.

    No U-turns allowed. You've survived the battles of baby- and toddler-hood, playdates and temper tantrums to time-outs. And just when it seems your former life is within reach--taking up neglected jobs and hobbies, committing to a fitness program, rediscovering the boyfriend living in the body of your husband--you crash headfirst into the wall of reality. The kids may be able to fasten their own seatbelts and pour their own cereal, but the homework, tucking in, car pools, and birthday parties have just begun. Let Vicki Iovine, author of The Girlfriends' Guides, show you how to navigate the twists and turns of family life--and find time for your kids, your spouse, your home, your work, and yourself. You're not alone in this "mommy adolescence." In The Girlfriends' Guide to Getting Your Groove Back, Iovine provides her trademark sage, witty advice on:- How to focus at work when things at home are in chaos--and vice versa- Making time for yourself--and not the PTA- Getting over the romantic myth of "date nights" and weekends away from the kids- Homework help--your transformation into a human flashcard- The dinnertime crush and how to relieve frozen pizza fatigueIovine puts the perils of perpetual parenthood into perspective. You'll feel like you do after a long chat with a good friend--relaxed, refreshed, and ready to reclaim your life ...

    It's about what happens when Mr. Right isn't around so you have a baby with Mr. Wrong, a touring musician who tells you halfway through your pregnancy that he's met someone else, just after you've given up your LA life and moved back to England to attempt some kind of modern family life with him. So now you're six months along, sleeping on a friend's sofa in London, and waking up in the morning to a room full of taxidermied animals who seem to be staring at you. The Hungover Games about what it's like raising a baby on your own when you're more at home on the dance floor than in the kitchen. It's about how to invent the concept of the two-person family when you grew up in a traditional nuclear unit of four, and your kid's friends all have happily married parents too, and you are definitely not, in any way, ticking off the days until all those lovely couples get divorced. Unflinchingly honest, emotionally raw, and surprisingly sweet, The Hungover Games is the true story of what happens if you've been looking for love your whole life and finally find it where you least expect it.A Sunday Times Bestseller (UK)

    The pro league just seemed too far away from the young man’s small-town life in the Prairies. But Wendel had a talent for hockey that was surpassed only by his love for the sport, and it wasn’t long before he embarked on a path that would take him away from his hometown to a new life. Wendel honed his talents in cities across western Canada and earned a reputation as a force to be reckoned with on the ice. Drafted by the Toronto Maple Leafs first overall in the 1985 NHL Entry Draft, Wendel burst onto the pro scene and immediately made an impact, all the while staying true to his roots. As he learned from the players around him, Wendel steadily matured into a respected leader. He soon assumed the mantle as the Leafs captain, and his willingness to lay it all on the line transformed him into a player who could inspire courage in his teammates and fear in his opponents in equal measure. The future seemed limitless for the young star. But just as Wendel’s talents were set to peak, everything unraveled. Years of no-holds-barred, physical play were taking their toll, and soon his greatest competitor wasn’t anyone on the ice, but his own body. Every movement brought agony, every shift was a challenge, and every game meant the decision to keep fighting. But as Wendel’s body broke down, his resolve only grew. Determined to succeed no matter what the cost, Wendel set out on a course that would allow him to keep doing what he loved and that would turn him into one of the most beloved hockey players of all time. Emotional and uplifting, Bleeding Blue is the story of a man who refused to say no, who wore his heart on his sleeve, and who would do anything to keep going, even when everything told him to quit.

    Schirripa, The Sopranos’ own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba’s Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy “from the neighborhood.”Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV’s most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You’ll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do’s and don’ts (never, ever criticize a goomba’s mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba’s Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.