The Dirty Parts of the Bible


Sam Torode - 2007
    Tobias is obsessed with two things: God and girls. Mostly girls, of course. But being a Baptist preacher's son, he can't escape God. When his father is blinded in a bizarre accident (involving hard cider and bird droppings), Tobias must ride the rails to Texas to recover a long-hidden stash of money. Along the way, he's initiated into the hobo brotherhood by Craw, a ribald vagabond-philosopher. Obstacles arise in the form of a saucy prostitute, a flaming boxcar, and a man-eating catfish. But when he meets Sarah, a tough farm girl under a dark curse, he finds out that the greatest challenge of all is love.

The Warlizard Chronicles


Warlizard - 2011
    Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”

The House That Jack Built: A Humorous Haunted House Fiasco


Jonathan Paul Isaacs - 2016
     In less than 24 hours Nate Merritt loses his job, his girlfriend, and his estranged Aunt Edna. But after Edna’s will bequeaths him a historic mansion deep in the backwoods of Louisiana, Nate hatches a daring plan: he’ll renovate the house and flip it for a tidy profit. The fact that Nate doesn’t know anything about home improvement doesn’t deter him at all. Too bad Nate doesn’t realize the mansion in question happens to be haunted. And the ghost who lives there might not be so indiscriminate about Nate’s ability. Humorous and irreverent, The House That Jack Built is a story of learning how to move on into the next chapter of life—as well as a tribute to every disastrous renovation ever attempted by a homeowner. And ghosts. Don’t forget the ghosts.

Take Us To Your Trump


Andrew Stanek - 2018
    Okay yes, all that stuff too, but I'm not talking about that right now. The government has also been lying to us about space aliens. Aliens have landed on the National Mall and are asking to speak with the President of the United States. For the sake of the planet, diplomat Michael Wallenson is tasked with keeping them away from Donald Trump at all costs. Will Michael succeed? Or will these heavily armed, easily offended aliens succeed in reaching our leader? Building the border dome, coal-powered missiles, and the true identities of the men in black - all in Take Us To Your Trump, another hilarious satirical comedy from author Andrew Stanek.

Shit Happens


Eileen Wharton - 2012
    She's got problems though when bits of her ex-husband turn up in different places and the slimy DI Savage seems to be bending the evidence to link her to the death. Add the fact that she's being pressured into taking a ‘job’ by hard-nosed Vera Devlin from the estate and having to work in a topless bar to make ends meet and you can see she's up against it. Desperate to extricate herself from the mess she breaks into her old marital home to find the diary of her dead husband, except that his mother has taken up residence and arrives back early from bingo… Set against a backdrop of Northern council estate life, this fast paced, humorous novel exemplifies the problems caused by poverty, piles and unruly children, think Jeremy Kyle meets the Thorn Birds and you won't be far wrong!

Forgiving What You Can't Forget Study Guide: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That's Beautiful Again


Lysa TerKeurst - 2020
    And you just don't know if you'll ever get past it. In this six-session Bible study (DVD/digital downloads sold separately), Lysa TerKeurst has walked this journey, wrestling with deep wounds that feel impassible and struggling to move forward. And she's discovered that, to find life-giving freedom, we have to let go of our bound-up resentment and resistance to forgiving people who've hurt us. With deep empathy, therapeutic insight, and rich Bible teaching coming out of 1,000 hours of study, Lysa helps us:learn how to move on when the other person refuses to change and never says they're sorry; walk through a step-by-step process to free ourselves from the hurt of our past and feel less offended today; discover what the Bible really says about forgiveness and the peace that comes from living it out right now; identify what's stealing trust and vulnerability from our relationships so we can believe there is still good ahead; and disempower the triggers hijacking our emotions by embracing the two necessary parts of forgiveness. Designed for use with the Forgiving What You Can't Forget Video Study (sold separately).

Anointed


Greg S. Baker - 2018
    “Let the king know. Your servant kept his father’s sheep. There came a lion and a bear and took a lamb out of the flock. And when the lion arose against me, I caught the lion by his beard, and smote him, and slew him. I also slew the bear, my lord. This uncircumcised Philistine will be as one of them, seeing he has defied the armies of the living God. The LORD God that delivered me out of the paw of the lion and out of the paw of the bear, He will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine.”The king’s eyes closed. “I fear to send you, my son. I fear what the giant will do to you. You have yet to witness his great strength.” He hesitated. “But I do believe the LORD is with you. I pray that He is. Our honor, our nation, our lives rest upon you, my servant. Go, and Jehovah be with you.”David left the tent, but only Jonathan followed him. The king’s son walked over to a pole that bore a flag of challenge. It had lain unused on the ground for these past forty days, but now Jonathan hoisted it high and slammed the butt hard into the earth to steady it. The red flag waved defiantly in the small breeze of the late afternoon.A roar of approval rose from the ranks of Hebrew soldiers, and from the valley below, Goliath beheld the challenge flag and beat upon his breastplate in pleased battle lust. He shouted, “Come then! Send me a man that we may fight!”David took a deep breath, eyeing the monstrous giant. Then he bounded down the slope to meet his fate and fulfill the duty of his anointing.

The Eleventh Hour: The Enlightened Ones


Kathryn Dionne - 2012
    As she begins to translate the writings she realizes three very important facts. This is a book of prophecy foretelling the end times; it is the personal diary of Jesus Christ; and she has been chosen to save mankind from the next cataclysmic event. But when she discovers a small piece of fabric tucked inside the scroll, she and her husband David, a geneticist, are propelled into a life of science, secrecy and government conspiracy.

Missing Gretyl - You Only Love Twice


Si Page - 2013
    OTHERS ARE LESS COMPLIMENTARY. Buckle up for a comedic roller coaster ride, with bad wigs, waxing disasters, holiday scams, a deluded hitman, lust, arson and murder. Albert Trollop takes refuge at his allotment and the betting office, while his wife, Gretyl, lives for the shopping channels, car boot sales and local gossip. After fifty years of marriage, she’s thinking of a new life, somewhere hot. He’s thinking of the crematorium. She’s thinking of stuffing herself in a bikini. He's thinking of a taxidermist. The Londoners continue their separate lives until a mysterious letter turns their world upside down. In Essex, Dave and Sharon Soddall are struggling on benefits and looking for a get-rich-quick solution. With the help of a devious financial advisor, they concoct a plan and ‘Costa Soddall Travel’ is born. Will the Soddalls pull off the con of a lifetime? Can Gretyl be silenced? Will Albert end up missing Gretyl? "'Missing Gretyl' is a rare treat - a brilliantly written comedy novel that's genuinely funny." Mark Stibbe, best selling, award-winning writer. Missing Gretyl is also available as a Kindle eBook through Amazon.

Autocorrect FAILS! Text Messaging Autocorrect Gone Horribly Wrong


THE CLOWN FACTORY - 2013
    This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.

The Angelwalk Trilogy: Angelwalk/Fallen Angel/Stedfast


Roger Elwood - 1995
    Here collected for the first time in one volume are the three bestselling works in Roger Elwood's outstanding trilogy on spiritual warfare and the struggle between good and evil.

Driving Me Nuts!


P.J. Jones - 2011
    Every Friday night Ruckus and his roommate Fred sneak out of Shady Grove Home for the Mentally Insane for a ride in their orderly’s convertible. A trip to the used book store and the Dairy Queen is Ruckus’s one little routine among the chaos of pissing all over the lunch trays. There is nothing routine about Apple, another Shady Grove resident who wants to go joyriding with the boys. It quickly becomes obvious she has bigger plans than getting an ice cream cone— plans that could land them in jail or even worse. When their lives are threatened by three angry ex-cons and a crooked cop, it’s up to Ruckus to get his friends back to Shady Grove in one piece. But first, they all need to face reality and confront their tragic pasts. It doesn’t take long for Ruckus to realize that if Apple doesn’t drive him totally nuts, she just may be the one to help restore his sanity."Driving Me Nuts! will surely tickle your funny bone!" Five Stars and Reviewer Top Pick - Diana Coyle, Night Owl Reviews

Khushwant Singh's Joke Book III


Khushwant Singh - 1992
    Another super collection of naughty and not-so-naughty jokes, humorous anecdotes, comic interludes, hilarious situations and bitchy remarks, selected by Khushwant Singh from amongst the thousands contributed by his readers and fans - and some manufactured by him.

SkyMaul: Happy Crap You Can Buy from a Plane


Kasper Hauser - 2006
    Guaranteed.   Let award-winning comedy troupe Kasper Hauser transport you into the sublime universe that is SkyMaul, where Banana-ganizers and Reality-Canceling Headphones coexist with Crack Pipe Chess Sets and Llamacycles. More than just a catalog parody, SkyMaul explodes with razor-sharp wit, boundless creativity, and a keen eye for the absurd. This smart, edgy satire will earn your laughter again and again.

Pete, Drinker of Blood


Scott S. Phillips - 2012
    He’s also a vampire. He lives alone and avoids the other vampires in L.A., but Pete’s simple life goes haywire when he falls for Angie, the cute bartender at a Sunset Strip dive -- and when sinister vampire lord Carson Fitzgerald returns to claim his children, Pete learns that nothing's ever easy for a creature of the night.