In her trademark bossy, witty, and authoritative way, Miss Manners gives advice that will make the big day more pleasant for one and all, including the bride. 15 line drawings.

    Yes, all those years you were told not to sit too close to the television (you'll hurt your eyes!) or swallow your gum (it stays in your stomach for seven years!) or crack your knuckles (arthritis!) are called into question by our country's leading trivia guru. Jennings separates myth from fact to debunk a wide variety of parental edicts: no swimming after meals, sit up straight, don't talk to strangers, and so on. Armed with medical case histories, scientific findings, and even the occasional experiment on himself (or his kids), Jennings exposes countless examples of parental wisdom run amok. Whether you're a parent who wants to know what you can stop worrying about or a kid (of any age) looking to say, "I told you so,"; this is the anti-helicopter parenting book you've been waiting for.

    The Secret Lives of Dogs reveals what dogs think, how they feel, and how they see the world and what you can do to make them happier than ever.The Secret Lives of Dogs is part of the Dog Care Companions, a series of books for pet lovers on behavior, health care, training, communication, and more.

    Homeland Insecurity is Volume 17 in the always bestselling and always entertaining Onion series.The Onion is the world’s most popular humor publication, with more than 3.8 million weekly visitors to its website (theonion.com) and a print circulation of more than 500,000. More than a million copies of its various books have been sold to date, beginning with Our Dumb Century, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller and winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor.

    But this attitude is a relatively recent development in the sweep of history. In The Pun Also Rises, John Pollack — a former Presidential Speechwriter for Bill Clinton, and winner of the world pun championship — explains how punning revolutionized language and made possible the rise of modern civilization. Integrating evidence from history, pop culture, literature, comedy, science, business and everyday life, this book will make readers reconsider everything they think they know about puns.

    People, Beings and BeastsWhere does the boogeyman come from?What creatures feast on faithful men?How do you defeat a minotaur?What really riles a dragon?Where would you find real-life werewolves?What happened to Atlantis?From dragons, vampires, werewolves and fairies to flying carpets, lost cities and modern-day mysteries,this delightful compendium of over 250 weird and wonderful legends, myths and monsters will entertain and astound anyone

    Urban Legend" [Smithsonian]—tracks the most fabulous tales making today's cocktail-party circuit and shows why those stories that sound too good to be true probably are too good to be true.The eponymous episode—"The Baby Train"—sheds light on certain predawn activities that have linked unusually high birth rates to the whim of train schedule makers. Other stories offer a revealing peek behind the story of "The Exploding Bra," expose the embarrassing source of "The Hairdresser's Error," resurrect a "Failed Suicide" Buster Keaton would have died for, and show why adults are better off not bringing their comic book fantasies out of the closet. From "Superhero Hijinx" to "The Shocking Videotape" to "The Accidental Cannibal," The Baby Train uncovers the mysteries behind some of the bawdiest, goriest, funniest, most pyrotechnic urban legends yet.

    The man admitted he had attempted to siphon gas from a motor home but inadvertently put the siphon tube in the wrong tank. Instead of gasoline, the man sucked out the contents of the sewage holding tank. If stupidity were lethal, all of the criminals highlighted in The Stupid Crook Book would be dead. This book from highly successful author Leland H. Gregory III captures hilarious tales of captured criminals who are so dumb you almost feel sorry for them. Almost. This lineup of criminal bozos includes: * Michael Anthony Silver, who made a $250 call to a 1-900 psychic hotline in the course of robbing a home. When the phone bill came later that month the homeowners called the police, who traced the call back to the hotline. It turns out Silver used his real name with the psychic.* A would-be bank robber who fainted when a bank teller told him she had no money. The police later found his getaway car and discovered the key locked inside it.* Tony Bariteau, who was arrested and pled guilty to breaking into the Deja Vu store in Troy, Alabama-twice! He was arrested because the same witness spotted him smashing the same window and stealing much of the same merchandise. Deja vu indeed.* A wanted fugitive from Maryland who was running low on cash and stopped by a police station in Texas to ask for gas money. The police saved him the expense and gave him a free ride back to prison.The Stupid Crook Book builds on the successful trail Gregory blazed with America's Dumbest Criminals, the book he coauthored that spent 17 weeks on the New York Times best-seller list.Author's web site: www.realwacky.com/

    For quick and effective relief -- or at least some literary comfort -- from everyday and exceptional problems, try a poem. Over the ages, people have turned to poets as ambassadors of the emotions, because they give voice and definition to our troubles, and by so doing, ease them. No matter how bad things get, poets have been there, too, and they can help you get over the rough spots.This is the first poetry anthology designed expressly for the self-help generation. The poems listed include classics by Emily Dickinson, Lord Byron, Ogden Nash, and Lucretius, to name just a few, along with newer works by such current practitioners as Seamus Heaney and Wendy Cope. This book has a cure or consolation for nearly every affliction, ancient or modern. And no side effects-except pleasure.

    With a 24/7 news cycle reporting that the polar ice caps are melting, hurricanes are swirling in the seas, wars are heating up around the world, and the job market is in a deep freeze, it's tempting to feel that the world is falling apart. But awesome things are all around us-sometimes we just need someone to point them out.The Book of Awesome reminds us that the best things in life are free (yes, your grandma was right). With laugh-out-loud observations from award- winning comedy writer Neil Pasricha, The Book of Awesome is filled with smile-inducing moments on every page that make you feel like a kid looking at the world for the first time. Read it and you'll remember all the things there are to feel good about. The Book of Awesome reminds us of all the little things that we often overlook but that make us smile. With touching, warm, and funny observations, each entry ends with the big booming feeling you'll get when you read through them: AWESOME!

    Highlighting his remarks with selected cartoons, Short looks at the antics of Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, Linus, et al. from a Christian perspective, revealing a surprisingly prophetic meaning behind their otherwise hilarious activities. While these lovable cartoon characters have enjoyed an almost unparalleled popularity--becoming pop culture icons of the highest order and entering the global consciousness practically as family members--Short's book also has found a place in the hearts of many readers. Whether coming to the book for the first time or taking a second look, a delightful experience awaits in this modern-day guide to the Christian faith, fully illustrated with Peanuts.

    Find out what should go into the basic toolkit (a stout shovel is helpful and so are reinforced gauntlets); which species thrive in household life and which will cause BIG problems; and what dinosaurs are just right for circuses and zoos, in security, and for giving eggs and meat. For every dinosaur covered, there’s information on feeding, breeding, housing, and availability; maps of where they lived; details on weight and size; as well as other pertinent facts. The illustrations cleverly mix photography and art to bring humans and dinos together for the first time.

     A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, "Where is the bar tender?" Drum roll. The "Fifth Edition "of the perennially popular "Pretty Good Joke Book" is everything the first four were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (The nice thing about Alzheimer's is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when "A Prairie Home Companion" fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first "Pretty Good Joke Book" was born. With 362 new jokes (more or less), the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone--fans of the radio show or not--will enjoy.

    Python's influence on comedy has been compared to the Beatles' influence on music. This landmark work collects the complete scripts for every one of the 45 episodes of "Flying Circus" every silly setup, every clever conceit, every snide insult, and ever saucy aside from these classic skits, including "The Ministry of Silly Walks," "The Dead Parrot," "Banter in the Cheese Shop," "Spam, the Funniest Joke in the World," "The Spanish Inquisition," "The Argument Clinic," "The Fish-Slapping Dance," "The Lumberjack Song," and all the rest.Every script is thoroughly annotated with notes that cover the plethora of cultural, historical, and topical references touched upon in each sketch. Sidebars and commentary throughout include profiles of the principles -- Graham Chapman, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and John Cleese -- and interviews with the cast and crew; fascinating facts about technical concerns, set design, and shooting locations; insider stores from on and off the set, including arguments, accidents, and practical jokes; goofs and gaffes; and much more. Also included are thousands of stills and artwork from the shows.