HEY, U UP? (For a Serious Relationship): How to Turn Your Booty Call into Your Emergency Contact


Emily Axford - 2018
    HEY, U UP? tackles all the milestones of relationships today—both glorious and embarrassing— with sections ranging from “How to Ask Someone Out After You’ve Slept with Them” all the way to “Establish Your Family as the Christmas Family by Turning Your Significant Other Against Their Own Parents.” In addition to the laugh-out-loud essays, lists, questionnaires, and even flowcharts further enliven the pages.

Butterfly Brain


Barry Cryer - 2004
    Barry's set of experiences with these legends of humour is unique, and will delight all who made PIGS CAN FLY a runaway porcine bestseller. In this completely new, organically grown book, old Baz recalls, reminisces, recounts and other words beginning with 'R', on a trip down Memory Lane, pausing only for tea and macaroons at the Stannah Stairlift Cafe. What memories - if only he can remember them. Currently 74, a third of his life has already passed and he invites you to enjoy this wonderfully funny account of it, a decorous orgy of nostalgia.

The Boomer Bible


R.F. Laird - 1991
    In the beginning there was the Holy Bible2 Which was a very good book indeed, but so many things happened since the beginning,3 That Maybe it was time for another bible,4 So a punk from Philadelphia wrote a new one,5 And so it is called The Boomer Bible,6 So there.7 And Its Past Testament tells the history of the world, including the Book of Greeks, Book of Brits, Book of Yanks, Book of Russkies, and all the other self-proclaimed Chosen Nations,8 And people sticking each other with pointed sticks, and acting up, which is called civilization,9 And also about religion and art and movies and literature, and TV, and so forth, which is why there are also the Books of Pnowlege,10 Including Psongs, Psayings, and Psomethings,11 Written just like the other Bible but without any big unpronounceable words,12 So that you and I might truly understand it,13 For a change.14 And Its Present Testament tells about the coming of Harry, and The Way of Harry,15 Who may be the messiah everybody has been waiting for,16 Unless he really isn't,17 Which is hard to say,18 So there.19 And there is also The Book of Harrier Brayer together with the Harrier Hymnal,20 And another Testament too,21 And Concordance, and a lenticular hand on the cover.22 And It is not for the faint of heart,23 Or the easily offended,24 Or the priggish or the prudish,25 But who cares,26 Because neither was Candide, or Swift's A Modest Proposal, or Rabelais, or Lenny Bruce28 Or all the other satires and satirists who felt the need to warn us when we have gone astray,29 Which we have,29 Which you'll know all about,31 If you read your Boomer Bible,32 Or there.Over 87,000 copies in print.

Beast: The Top Secret Ilmor-Penske Race Car That Shocked the World at the 1994 Indy 500


Jade Gurss - 2014
    The massive effort to design and build it in a seemingly impossible timeframe is still hailed as one of the most herculean efforts and well-kept secrets in the history of the Indy 500. In the new book, Beast, bestselling author Jade Gurss chronicles the subterfuge and debunks the myths about this legendary engine that persist twenty years on. Gurss interviewed key players involved in the race to undercover the story of how this engine powered the Penske PC23 chassis to one of the most talked-about Indy 500 races in history. The British race-engine experts at Ilmor Engineering offer detail about the design and manufacture of the engine. Roger Penske’s team reveals how the engine and car were tested and developed, and how Mercedes came to be involved in the project. The story unfolds as Roger Penske and Mario Illien and Paul Morgan of Ilmor play every card they possess to create an incredible race engine--even rare World War II fighter planes and supersonic jets roar into the heart of this high-tech tale. Drivers Al Unser Jr., Emerson Fittipaldi, and Paul Tracy provide details on the tense weeks leading up race day. The book reaches a suspenseful climax at 240 miles per hour at the Indy 500 noone can forget. Wrapped up in the drama and intrigue are real business and motivational lessons which made Roger Penske one of the most successful businessmen in the world and that helped Ilmor and its cofounders, Mario Illien and the late Paul Morgan, design and manufacture Indy car and Formula 1 championship–winning engines. Beast is not only a must-read for sports and race fans, but a compelling narrative for those who enjoy genuine lessons in business and technology or thrilling mysteries based on actual events.

The Ultimate Bathroom Reader: Interesting Stories, Fun Facts and Just Crazy Weird Stuff to Keep You Entertained on the Crapper! (Perfect Gag Gift)


Bill O'Neill - 2021
    

The Braindead Megaphone


George Saunders - 2007
    George Saunders's first foray into nonfiction is composed of essays on literature, travel, and politics. At the core of this unique collection are Saunders's travel essays based on his trips to seek out the mysteries of the "Buddha Boy" of Nepal; to attempt to indulge in the extravagant pleasures of Dubai; and to join the exploits of the minutemen at the Mexican border. Saunders expertly navigates the works of Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut, and Esther Forbes, and leads the reader across the rocky political landscape of modern America. Emblazoned with his trademark wit and singular vision, Saunders's endeavor into the art of the essay is testament to his exceptional range and ability as a writer and thinker.

Life Is a Joke: 100 Life Lessons (with Punch Lines)


Gordon & John Javna - 2017
    A really good joke, like a great poem, memorable song lyric, razor-sharp anecdote, or Zen koan, is a portal of discovery—it can get a meaningful message across in a way that’s clear, humorous, and practical. It’s the secret weapon of every great comedian—there’s the joke, and then there’s the subtext of the joke, and that can mean serious business. A funny, funny joke about a therapist and his patient conveys, for example, an important lesson on the power of communication. A surprising joke about a tribal shaman and the weather service turns into a necessary critique on how we should view experts.

Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes


Thomas Cathcart - 2006
    Its Philosophy 101 for everyone who knows not to take all this heavy stuff too seriously. Some of the Big Ideas are Existentialism (what do Hegel and Bette Midler have in common?), Philosophy of Language (how to express what its like being stranded on a desert island with Halle Berry), Feminist Philosophy (why, in the end, a man is always a man), and much more. Finally it all makes sense!

The Ricky Gervais Guide to... MEDICINE


Ricky Gervais - 2010
    Here's the first in a new series of in-depth discussions on a variety of subjects relating to humanity's greatest endeavors.Around the table, Ricky Gervais, Steve Merchant, and the glabrous luminary Karl Pilkington.In this episode, MEDICINE, we explore the treatment of human ailments through history - from trepanation (or 'oles in the 'ed) in early tribal societies right through to the possible, if improbable, future of medical technology.Ricky Steve and Karl offer a uniquely ill-informed appraisal, from medicine's superstitious roots in shamanism, the beginnings of empiricism and on to today's holistic ideal.Areas of discussion include the dangers of leaving yoghurt pots in fridges; how over-enthusiastic janitors can stifle scientific progress; how hygiene impacts on immunity; Karl's ideas on empathic diagnosis; fruit-based contraception; the risks of eye surgery; the politics of treating obesity; conjugal care-workers; geriatric clinical trials; Karl's take on palliative care; and the inevitable anal-probing....

Autocorrect FAILS! Text Messaging Autocorrect Gone Horribly Wrong


THE CLOWN FACTORY - 2013
    This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.

Khushwant Singh's Joke Book III


Khushwant Singh - 1992
    Another super collection of naughty and not-so-naughty jokes, humorous anecdotes, comic interludes, hilarious situations and bitchy remarks, selected by Khushwant Singh from amongst the thousands contributed by his readers and fans - and some manufactured by him.

Blackboard Blunders: Spelling Slip-ups and Homework Howlers


Richard Benson - 2009
    From the charming to the ludicrous, and from the profound to the downright X-rated, this hilarious collection of quotes is sure to tickle the funny bone.

America, but Better: The Canada Party Manifesto


Chris Cannon - 2012
    citizens are looking for a new leader. That leader is Canada, and they want your vote for president of the United States.Since launching their video campaign in January, the Canada Party has gone viral, with almost a million hits on YouTube and coverage ranging from CNN and the BBC to the Huffington Post and German State Television. Their new book, America, but Better: the Canada Party Manifesto, balances the doctrine of American exceptionalism with a dose of Canadian humility and common sense in an effort to secure Canada as the new leader of the free world, by proxy.Their promises: One gay couple will be allowed to marry for every straight couple that gets divorced. The phrase "job creators" will be changed to "job creationists," and they will be given seven days to actually create some. Corporations will still be people, but if they can't provide a birth certificate they will be legally obligated to care for your lawn. Corners will be installed in the Oval Office, and timeouts given to congressmen who can't play nice.Devoted to restoring America to its former glory, the Canada Party will soon have the whole world chanting, "Yes We Canada."

The Warlizard Chronicles


Warlizard - 2011
    Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”

Bill Bryson Box Set: Three Vols. A Walk In The Woods, Notes From A Big Country, Notes From A Small Island


Bill Bryson
    A box set consisting of three Bill Bryson books, 'Notes from a Small Island', 'Notes from a Big Country' and 'A Walk in the Woods'.