It tells of how a boy and his family lived a life of hellish abuse, fought back, and learned to live with the memories. It is also an adventure tale, following the boy through the military buildup to the Viet Nam War, Pacific Island love affairs, and his personal battles in the Montana mountains.As a boy, Jeff was raised in the mountains of Montana where he idolized his father, a former professional boxer. But in the early 1950s, his idol became an alcoholic and an abuser, repeatedly beating Jeff, his mother, and his younger siblings. In desperation, Jeff resorted to digging hidden bunkers where the family could hide when they were attacked. Life became a daily struggle, both physically and financially.He left school and worked wherever he could find a job, using the money to help feed his family. He labored in lumber mills, railroads, and ranches until he joined the military at age seventeen.This story follows the boy from the hell of his childhood through Pacific Island love affairs, killer typhoons, and Hong Kong bar battles as he fights his way to acceptance in the rough and tumble world of a destroyer sailor. In his first Navy assignment, he finds that his poor education has resulted in a job he despises; working as a permanent head cleaner on an old destroyer. But through perseverance, hard work, and an iron will, he becomes a leader, supervising teams working on experimental shipboard missile guidance systems.But you can’t run from yourself. Jeff’s family problems haunt him, frequently bringing him back to Montana; to increasingly violent confrontations with his father. Tensions build until the inevitable happens and Jeff is drawn into a final, epic, battle with the abuser.A sobering, visceral, and shockingly real portrait of domestic violence, the boy’s relentless drive for survival is nothing short of extraordinary. An uplifting journey to redemption and self-acceptance, The Long Escape sends an unforgettable message to the abused that there really can be hope and love in their future. It also brilliantly captures the sometimes hollow feeling of victory and the scars of abuse that are carried for a lifetime.This is a true story. Some names have been changed to accomodate participants, but the story is absolutely true. The author sincerely hopes that, by publishing this memoir, he can provide a bit of a roadmap for others struggling to escape a life of abuse.

    The GQ correspondent and Deadspin columnist’s stories about trying to raise a family have attracted millions of readers online. And now he’s finally bringing that unique voice to a memoir. In Someone Could Get Hurt, he reflects on his own parenting experiences to explore the anxiety, rationalizations, compromises, and overpowering love that come with raising children in contemporary America. In brutally honest and funny stories, Magary reveals how American mothers and fathers cope with being in over their heads (getting drunk while trick-or-treating, watching helplessly as a child defiantly pees in a hotel pool, engaging in role-play with a princess-crazed daughter), and how stepping back can sometimes make all the difference (talking a toddler down from the third story of a netted-in playhouse, allowing children to make little mistakes in the kitchen to keep them from making the bigger ones in life). It’s a celebration of all the surprises—joyful and otherwise—that come with being part of a real family. In the wake of recent bestsellers that expose how every other culture raises their children better, Someone Could Get Hurt offers a hilarious and heartfelt defense of American child rearing with a glimpse into the genuine love and compassion that accompany the missteps and flawed logic. It’s the story of head lice, almost-dirty words, and flat head syndrome, and a man trying to commit the ultimate act of selflessness in a selfish world.

    ever wanted to quit your job...?‘I’d Sooner Starve’ is the amazing true story of one man's quest to escape his monotonous nine-to-five existence and open a charming delicatessen and restaurant in a delightful market town.With honesty, humour and breathtaking naïveté, it records his steep learning curve, radical lifestyle change and the immediate revelation that the customer is not always right!Amidst tales of bulimia, public menstruation, endless abuse and hilarious customer encounters, this eye-opening story unveils what happens after you walk into the boss and say: “I quit!”‘I’d Sooner Starve’ is a shockingly comical tale of culinary highs, customer lows and one woman's unhealthy fixation with thigh-warmed Stilton…‘An absolute hoot!’ ~ Anonymous celebrity chef‘This hits the nail on the head so much I can't believe it! So much so, I can't possibly put my name to it!’~ UK chef‘I am delighted that Mark has written this book. Maybe now people will believe me when I tell them the stories!’ ~ Matt, co-ownerI'd Sooner Starve - the book the celebrity chefs were too afraid to endorse!

    What they don’t know is her trailblazing career was a happy accident. In this funny and intimate memoir, Penny takes us from the stage of The Jackie Gleason Show in 1955 to Hollywood’s star-studded sets, offering up some hilarious detours along the way.My Mother Was Nuts is an intimate backstage pass to Penny’s personal life, her breakout role on The Odd Couple, her exploits with Cindy Williams and John Belushi, and her travels across Europe with Art Garfunkel on the back of a motorcycle. We see Penny get married. And divorced. And married again (the second time to Rob Reiner). We meet a young Carrie Fisher, whose close friendship with Penny has spanned decades. And we see Penny at work with Tom Hanks, Mark Wahlberg, Whoopi Goldberg, Robert De Niro, and Whitney Houston.Throughout it all, from her childhood spent tap dancing in the Bronx, to her rise as the star of Laverne & Shirley, Penny lived by simple rules: “try hard, help your friends, don’t get too crazy, and have fun.” With humor and heart, My Mother Was Nuts reveals there’s no one else quite like Penny Marshall.

    Sally Burbank has seen everything---lunatics, criminals, hypochondriacs, and even a Cocker spaniel! By popular demand, she has penned a collection of humorous and inspiring true stories to forever capture these memorable encounters. The antics of a demented octogenarian and a dimwitted patient named "Bob" will leave you laughing out loud. Her disastrous attempts to combine medicine with motherhood will reveal a new side to ladies in lab coats. The inane ICD-10 codes and decisions of insurance companies will leave you shaking your head in disgust. Stir in a wheelchair-bound, legally blind dialysis patient who insists on serving others until her last dying breath, a comatose leukemia patient miraculously healed, and an unfortunate soul doomed to chopping onions forty-hours a week, and you are guaranteed to laugh, cry, and tell your friends about this amazing new book. Hilarious cartoons and quotations relevant to each story add icing to the cake, and make Patients I Will Never Forget a must-read for anyone who enjoyed All Creatures Great and Small.

    In the tradition of the late great George Carlin, New York Times bestselling author and lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour Corey Taylor sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off.Whether it’s people’s rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and—most of all—the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor’s humor and insight cover civil society’s seeming decline—sparing no one along the way, least of all himself.Holding nothing back and delivered in Taylor’s inimitable voice, You’re Making Me Hate You is a cathartic critique of the strange world in which we find ourselves.

    It transports readers back in time to a Middle Eastern society far removed from modern American sensibilities-to Morocco, where Saadia was born and wed against her will at thirteen. Based on recorded history and family memories, the book chronicles Saadia's arranged marriage and hardships as a young mother to Wafa, a French-educated, sexually liberated Muslim woman, who traveled to Europe and then to America, reaching a top position on Wall Street-in theory, the fulfillment of her American dream but in reality an overwhelming experience that threatens everything she holds dear.Like the best of fiction, this is an intensely personal emotional rollercoaster tale full of twists and turns, which make it hard to put down. In the words of a reader: "It's beautiful even in the heartbreaking moments and utterly exquisite in the pleasant ones."

    Why cope with insecurities I don't already have?That last one's just me? All right, then.But if the rest sounds familiar, you are experiencing Girl Logic: a characteristically female way of thinking that appears contradictory and circuitous but is actually a complicated and highly evolved way of looking at the world. You end up considering every repercussion of every choice (about dating, career, clothes, lunch) before making a move toward what you really want. And why do we attempt these mental hurdles? Well, that's what this book is all about.The fact is, whether you're obsessing over his last text or the most important meeting of your career, your Girl Logic serves a purpose: It helps push you, question what you want, and clarify what will make you a happier, better person. Girl Logic can be every confident woman's secret weapon, and this book shows you how to wield it.

    It's caused alopecia, bulimia, and drug dependency. And Bryony is sick of it. Keeping silent about her illness has given it a cachet it simply does not deserve, so here she shares her story with trademark wit and dazzling honesty.A hugely successful columnist for the Telegraph, a bestselling author, and a happily married mother of an adorable daughter, Bryony has managed to laugh and live well while simultaneously grappling with her illness. Now it's time for her to speak out. Writing with her characteristic warmth and dark humour, Bryony explores her relationship with her OCD and depression as only she can.Mad Girl is a shocking, funny, unpredictable, heart-wrenching, raw and jaw-droppingly truthful celebration of life with mental illness.

    "No rock critic-living or dead, American or otherwise-has ever written about pop music with the evocative, hyperpoetic perfectitude of Rob Sheffield." So said Chuck Klosterman about Love is a Mix Tape, Sheffield's paean to a lost love via its soundtrack. Now, in Talking to Girls About Duran Duran, Sheffield shares the soundtrack to his eighties adolescence. When he turned 13 in 1980, Rob Sheffield had a lot to learn about women, love, music and himself, and in Talking to Girls About Duran Duran we get a glimpse into his transformation from pasty, geeky "hermit boy" into a young man with his first girlfriend, his first apartment, and a sense of the world. These were the years of MTV and John Hughes movies; the era of big dreams and bigger shoulder pads; and, like any all-American boy, this one was searching for true love and maybe a cooler haircut. It's all here: Inept flirtations. Dumb crushes. Deplorable fashion choices. Members Only jackets. Girls, every last one of whom seems to be madly in love with the bassist of Duran Duran. Sheffield's coming-of-age story is one that we all know, with a playlist that any child of the eighties or anyone who just loves music will sing along with. These songs-and Sheffield's writing-will remind readers of that first kiss, that first car, and the moments that shaped their lives.

    Jill is one of those “accidental athletes” who stumbled into endurance racing shortly after she moved to Alaska in 2005. After a hundred miles, her first race only scratched the surface of the historic trail that spans a vast and frozen wilderness. Ever since, she dreamed about the chiming of ice crystals at thirty below zero, black spruce shadows in the moonlight, the ethereal dance of the Northern Lights, and a journey that could take her deeper into this transcendental world — the thousand-mile race to Nome. After ten years of dreaming, she finally made the leap in 2016. Fitness, however, remained elusive as ambitious preparations left a wake of failures, sickness and injury. Even the existence of the trail remained in question — throughout the winter, Alaska experienced unprecedented heat waves and snow melt that threatened to render the Iditarod Trail impassable. By the time Jill lined up at the start, she was ready to chuck her dream into the barely-frozen lake. Instead, she pedaled across waterlogged ice, repeating her mantra of “one day at a time.” This account is not just a story about seeking beauty, overcoming setbacks and uncovering hidden strength — it’s a journey into the benevolent heart of the coldest, loneliest trail.

    I THINK.In Napalm & Silly Putty, George Carlin, the thinking person's comic, offers a hilarious new collection of razor-sharp observations on God, language, death, pets, driving, food, sports, airplanes, advertising, news, businessmen, and much, much more!* Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.* If people climb Mt. Everest because it's hard to do, why do they go up on the easy side?* With a little effort, oxen can be trained to genuflect and whistle softly in the moonlight.* How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that its a spy satellite?* If people stand in a circle long enough, they will eventually begin to dance.* Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore.* No one quite knows what's next, but everybody does it.* I think it would be great if you could make a guy's head explode just by staring at him.* Am I the only one who's noticed that the Lone Ranger and Tonto never got their laundry done?You'll learn what Carlin thinks of saving the planet, his suggestion for revamping the prison system, and why he prays to Joe Pesci. Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistible assortment of quips, probes, thrusts, and verbal ordeals that are as smart as they are infectiously funny.

    I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. —from the IntroductionActual reader feedback: "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I'll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You're an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you." Now with 16 Pages of Photos and a New Introduction

    Join her as she travels to three continents, and twelve countries. Step into her classroom and teach English in Mexico, Nicaragua, Colombia, and Vietnam, or vacation with her in Spain, Thailand, and Cambodia. Fall in love with her students learning English, the special street kids, some crazy bartenders, and fellow backpackers. Meet new friends and hear their stories, or laugh with a romantic man or two from around the world. Venture into the countryside to dance with local people, drink moonshine, explore caves, fish for marlin, catch buckets of squid, or squirm as she eats strange bugs and worms. Hold her hand as she explores new city streets and countries-- often lost, once robbed, or tremble when guns are pointed at her, as she crosses one more border. Donna Morang, teacher and traveler has done this and more with a smile and a gusto for life. She definitely knows how to experience life as a true adventurer. This book is NOT about a woman going in search of herself, or looking for a better life. She already knows that life is beautiful, and she lives it to the fullest

    The #1 "New York Times" Bestselling Author of "A Man Called Ove" shares an irresistible and moving collection of heartfelt, humorous essays about fatherhood, providing his newborn son with the perspective and tools he'll need to make his way in the world.