With Erma Bombeck in your corner, laughter is the best coach you can have....

    This book is that record. But it is also something else: maybe the funniest, most unsparing account of ordinary daily household life ever recorded, from the point of view of the man inside. The remarkable thing about this story isn’t that Lewis is so unusual. It’s that he is so typical. The only wonder is that his wife has allowed him to publish it.

     In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t. If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years? When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere. I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier. Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection. My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context. But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation. I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower. The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization. I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer. If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club. I know why some animals eat their young. In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions. Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store. As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood? STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS! I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me. I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business. I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.

    Shimi Kang, psychiatrist, bestselling author of The Dolphin Parent"Jessica's ability to open up about painful things in a way that make them hilarious and beautiful is astounding! This book will make you laugh, make you feel brave and make you feel like you are normal and wonderful just the way you are!" --Aisha Alfa, comedian, Just For LaughsComedians live by the mantra tragedy ] time = comedy--hence Jessica Holmes's refreshing and hilarious new memoir about depression, "the cold sore of the mind." She takes us on her journey-- sometimes laugh-out-loud, sometimes cringe-worthy--from successful performer to someone who was basically living the life of a house cat. She muses aboutthe chicken and the egg of depression and comedy marriage counselling (a.k.a. tattling on your spouse) where jokes come from living on the sofa, which now looks like a tornado hit a 7-Eleven her kids' take on the perks of having a depressed mom: "We don't have to clean up anything. Yesterday the cat barfed and Mom just put a cushion on it and went back to playing on the iPad!" the obnoxiousness of anti-depressant commercials: "I never noticed the ocean before!" Holmes shares her two cents on how to play it cool when your medication makes you hear Kate Hudson's voice, and why you don't sneak elk pepperettes into the movies. It's a validating read for anyone who has suffered from depression a little ("I get sad every January") or a lot ("My psychiatrist doesn't have a name for what I've got") or who just thinks real life calls for levity and understanding.

    F*ck Feelings is the last self-help book you will ever need!

    Its Philosophy 101 for everyone who knows not to take all this heavy stuff too seriously. Some of the Big Ideas are Existentialism (what do Hegel and Bette Midler have in common?), Philosophy of Language (how to express what its like being stranded on a desert island with Halle Berry), Feminist Philosophy (why, in the end, a man is always a man), and much more. Finally it all makes sense!

    Some people were happy for her; visions of flouncy pink dresses and promises of mother-daughter bonding were the predictable responses. Other people, though, were concerned: "Is your husband OK with that?" "You can try again." "Girls are tough." This mixed message led her to explore the issue herself, with help from her fellow writers and moms, many of whom had had the same experience. As she did in It's a Boy: Women Writers on Raising Sons, Buchanan and her contributors take on what it's really like to raise a child-in this case, a girl-from babyhood to adulthood.It's a Girl, is a wide-ranging, often humorous, and honest collection of essays about the experience of the mother-daughter bond, taking on topics like "princess power" ("Shining, Shimmering, Splendid"), adding a girl to a brood of boys ("Confessions of a Tomboy Mom"), dealing with a daughter's eating disorder ("The Food Rules"), and mothering "hardcore mini-feminists" ("Tough Girls").

     Straight-talking, bestselling Pitbull of Parenting Larry Winget says "This is not a fix your kid book. It's a fix the way you parent book. You owe it to your kids to parent with a plan!" Being a parent is the toughest job in the world, especially with the increasing number of negative influences and pitfalls facing our kids today, from childhood obesity and out-of-control celebrity culture to the dangers of the internet and credit card debt. Larry Winget has never been one to shy away from tough truths, and what he says here may well be difficult for some parents to swallow: we are in the midst of a crisis with our kids. Kids today are over-indulged, over-entertained, under-achieving, and under-disciplined, with a sense of entitlement that is crippling society. And the real problem is that parents aren't paying attention to what's going on. If they were they would realize that most kids today barely read and write, except with their thumbs on their cell phones! Well-behaved, respectful kids are the exception, not the rule, and for the most part, parents are to blame. Responsible parenting is about beginning with the end in mind and parenting with a plan. But most parents have never stopped to consider what kind of adult they want to raise. They have all this fun creating a baby, but they don't have a plan for the end product. Larry's message to parents: Teach your kids to become the best adults they can be. But don't expect your kids to improve until you improve. "Your Kids Are Your Own Fault" covers familiar lessons and principles that have led Larry's readers to greater success with money, career, and goal setting, this time at a level where they can be taught to children. This book shows parents how to design the adult they want their kid to become and work backwards to make sure it happens. Kids don't come with an instruction manual, but finally being a parent does! Watch a Video

    Everywhere from middle school classrooms to the mall, from summer camp to online chat groups, Kessler observes and chronicles-and sometimes participates in-the vibrant, dynamic, and scary life of a twenty-first-century teen.

    The new attitude of expectant moms is one of cheerful anticipation, optimism, and pride in their changing bodies. The Joy of Pregnancy reflects this positive spirit by emphasizing what's normal, fun, and even funny about pregnancy. In a lighthearted and encouraging tone, Tori Kropp helps mothers- and fathers-to-be concentrate on the miracle of pregnancy and birth rather than on possible complications. The month-by-month format provides the essential information that expectant parents crave: how the baby is developing, how the mother's body is changing, how to prepare for birth and baby, and the pros and cons of various pregnancy-related choices and issues. Tori's tone is reassuring, nonjudgmental, and often humorous. Questions and answers from her online community Stork Site®, highlighted tips, and facts make the text fun to read as well as informative. With this book by their side, expectant parents will be prepared to take an active role in ensuring a healthy, happy, and truly joyful pregnancy.

    Winik's amusing tales of outrageous mistakes, haunting uncertainty, and the never-ending struggle to stay true to her heart strike a powerful chord with creative, impassioned, independent-minded free spirits who know they're different -- and want to stay that way. Winik's seven Rules for the Unruly are: THE PATH IS NOT STRAIGHT · MISTAKES NEED NOT BE FATAL PEOPLE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ACHIEVEMENTS OR POSSESSIONS BE GENTLE WITH YOUR PARENTS · NEVER STOP DOING WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT MOST LEARN TO USE A SEMICOLON · YOU WILL FIND LOVE Rules for the Unruly shows us how taking risks, living creatively, and cherishing our inner weirdness can become the secret of our happiness and success, not our downfall.

    Distilled from Dr. Mom’s Guide to Breastfeeding, this is the most up-to-date, comprehensive, and effective book on the subject. Neifert has spent the last 25 years addressing the situations that nursing mothers routinely encounter; her sound, reassuring, and practical advice makes this a must-have for all new moms and mothers-to-be.

    For the first-time dad, useful and practical information about pregnancy, childbirth, and baby care, including: what to say--and what not to say--when you hear the news; taking care of moms-to-be; what childbirth feels like; crying, diapers, and bathtime; and baby-proofing the home.

    For fans of Reiser’s long-running sitcom Mad About You, with Helen Hunt and Hank Azaria, for readers of comic memoirs like Tina Fey’s Bossypants, and “for the couple considering parenthood as well as for parents who are decades past their days of diaper changing…this book hits home and hits the funnybone" (Chicago Tribune).

    Chapter 1.The birth you want: what motivates the willing woman?Chapter 2.Reality hurts: birth in the labour-bypass eraChapter 3.It’s a fine line: reframing pain in labourChapter 4.Approaching labour: what pain type are you?Chapter 5.Crisis of confidence: when self-belief crumblesChapter 6.The right support: who will get you through?