Morgan Sierra, an Oxford University psychologist with a deadly past, doesn’t know the answer to that question — and doesn’t care. All she knows is that her sister and niece have been abducted, held hostage for the stone pendants that Morgan and her sister wear: two of twelve relics once owned by the original Apostles.Forged in fire and wind, drowned in the blood of martyrs, the twelve Pentecost stones have been kept secret for two thousand years. But now the Keepers of the stones are being murdered, and the relics stolen by Thanatos, a shadowy group dedicated to remaking the world into a living Hell. The authorities are clueless; the world lies helpless. And Thanatos grows more powerful with each stone they take. Enter Jake Timber — agent of ARKANE, the British agency tasked with investigating the supernatural. Jake knows some of the secrets Morgan needs to save her family, but can’t stop Thanatos without her help. Only together can they stop Thanatos before the stones are captured, before Morgan’s family is murdered, and before the world is changed forever.From flooded ruins in Italy, to religious sites in Israel, to the far reaches of Iran and Tunisia, Morgan and Jake must race across the world to find the stones before Thanatos gathers the relics and uses their power to turn Earth into a living Hell.But every step they take brings Morgan and Jake closer to the end. To the knife edge between salvation and madness. To the moment when Morgan will have to decide whether she will save her family… or save the world.Time is running out. Thanatos draws near. And the day of Pentecost is at hand.Stone of Fire is the first book in the ARKANE series by New York Times and USA Today bestselling author J.F. Penn.

    For Claire Anderson, this crosses the line. To make matters worse, they’re on the lam and can’t be returned to sender until In Between, the afterlife way station, can arrange transportation to pick them up. In the meantime, Claire tries to contain this motley crew, hoping to stave off an international incident. How do they manage to walk among us? Will Claire succeed in repatriating them? And at what cost? The Afterlife Coach is a humorous tale of second chances, self-awareness and, for those among us who make bad choices, demonstrates just how hard it is to die happily ever after.

    He digs into the snowman to discover two things: the weapon fits into the body just under the head, and the snowman was supposed to be the back drop for Lexi's next show.From this improbable beginning comes friendship. Can there be more for a woman who is afraid to get close again and a man who has shadows from his childhood?Families join together and hearts are healed as this couple goes walking in a winter wonderland.

    As our story opens, the Bennet sisters are enjoying a peaceful life in the English countryside. They idle away the days reading, gardening, and daydreaming about future husbands - until a funeral at the local parish goes strangely and horribly awry.Suddenly corpses are springing from the soft earth - and only one family can stop them. As the bodies pile up, we watch Elizabeth Bennet evolve from a naive young teenager into a savage slayer of the undead. Along the way, two men vie for her affections: Master Hawksworth is the powerful warrior who trains her to kill, while thoughtful Dr. Keckilpenny seeks to conquer the walking dead using science instead of strength. Will either man win the prize of Elizabeth's heart? Or will their hearts be feasted upon by hordes of marauding zombies? Complete with romance, action, comedy, and an army of shambling corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls will have Jane Austen rolling in her grave - and just might inspire her to crawl out of it!(Description from back cover of trade paperback edition)

    Keeping her end up while seven grown-up children tear about the fecking place like the eejits haven't got a home to go to.Packed with Mammy's tips for keeping a perfect family, or at least a family, as well as contributions from her children, neighbours and other hangers on, Mrs Brown's Family Handbook dispenses advice in her own inimical fecking style. You'll learn:• why every mammy's secret weapon is the tea towel• the dos and don't of cleaning up Granddad • what Dermot doesn't know about farting (not much)• what Winnie knows about seks (not enough)• all about the Five-Sausages-A-Day Diet (hint: contains sausages)• from Maria all about pain relief in child birth (if its free, take it)The perfect gift for anyone in a large family - it's one present and cheap - or with no family at all (seeing what they're missing might cheer the miserable feckers up), Mrs Brown's Family Handbook is also ideal for anyone sick and tired of giving out bloody DVDs for Christmas.Brendan O'Carroll is an Irish writer, producer, comedian, actor, director and author. He is best known for playing Agnes Brown in Mrs Brown's Boys, which won the best sitcom BAFTA in 2012. He has written four films and nine comedy shows, including The Course (1995), The Last Wedding (1999) and last year saw the release of his DVD for the live tour Good Mourning Mrs Brown. He has also published seven novels, including The Mammy, The Scrapper and The Young Wan - a number of which have been translated into 12 languages.

    Take a cue from entertaining expert Amy Sedaris and host an unforgettable fete that will have your guests raving. No matter the style or size of the gathering-from the straightforward to the bizarre-I Like You provides jackpot recipes and solid advice laced with Amy's blisteringly funny take on entertaining, plus four-color photos and enlightening sidebars on everything it takes to pull off a party with extraordinary flair. You don't even need to be a host or hostess to benefit-Amy offers tips for guests, too!  (Number one: don't be fifteen minutes early.) Readers will discover unique dishes to serve alcoholics (Broiled Frozen Chicken Wings with Applesauce), the secret to a successful children's party (a half-hour time limit, games included), plus a whole appendix chock-full of arts and crafts ideas (from a mini-pantyhose plant-hanger to a do-it-yourself calf stretcher), and much, much more!

    In this first volume of his misadventures, Gussett sets his sights on the most prestigious prize in golf, the petrified middle finger of St. Andrew, patron saint of Scotland. Presiding over the world's most cantankerous golf club, Gussett must motivate his members through battles with incontinence, single malt Scotch, and a litany of other unmentionable afflictions in a friendly competition with their ancient rivals, the notorious McGregor clan. Anyone who loves the game or knows someone who does will be unable to resist Feherty's hilarious storytelling and golfing gravitas.

    Hollis Whitney is a successful and fabulous HGTV hostess on the brink of turning 40. She also happens to be madly in love with her carpenter even though she is married to sleazy movie director Frank Fielder. When Hollis discovers that Frank is diddling his latest (and much younger) leading lady, she sets out on a mission to kill him off. Her bitchy Beverly Hills friends catch wind of her plan and insist on helping her plot out the perfect murder. Together the women use their power and connections to help Hollis dig the hole that will bury Frank – figuratively and literally. What follows is a tale of the unique skills each woman brings to the plan and a moving story about long-lost love, finding yourself, onion rings and the importance of pink. Killing your husband could just be the secret to a happy ending.

    Every morning, employees arrive to find broken Kjerring bookshelves, shattered Glans water goblets, and smashed Liripip wardrobes. Sales are down, security cameras reveal nothing, and store managers are panicking. To unravel the mystery, three employees volunteer to work a nine-hour dusk-till-dawn shift. In the dead of the night, they’ll patrol the empty showroom floor, investigate strange sights and sounds, and encounter horrors that defy the imagination. A traditional haunted house story in a thoroughly contemporary setting, Horrorstör is designed to retain its luster and natural appearance for a lifetime of use. Pleasingly proportioned with generous French flaps and a softcover binding, Horrorstör delivers the psychological terror you need in the elegant package you deserve.Designed by Andie Reid, cover photography by Christine Ferrara.

    You will be born in New Mexico. You will get your big break at an acting camp. You will get into a bizarre confrontation outside a nightclub with actor Scott Caan. Even better, at each critical juncture of your life, you will choose how to proceed. You will decide whether to try out for Doogie Howser, M.D. You will decide whether to spend years struggling with your sexuality. You will decide what kind of caviar you want to eat on board Elton John’s yacht. Choose correctly and you’ll find fame, fortune, and true love. Choose incorrectly and you’ll find misery, heartbreak, and a hideous death by piranhas. All this, plus magic tricks, cocktail recipes, embarrassing pictures from your time as a child actor, and even a closing song. Yes, if you buy one book this year, congratulations on being above the American average, but make that book Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography!

    Every year, Elna Baker attends the New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance. This year, her Queen Bee costume (which involves a funnel stinger stuck to her butt) isn't attracting the attention she'd anticipated. So once again, Elna finds herself alone, standing at the punch bowl, stocking up on Oreos, a virgin in a room full of thirty-year-old virgins doing the Funky Chicken. But loneliness is nothing compared to what Elna feels when she loses eighty pounds, finds herself suddenly beautiful...and in love with an atheist.

    That is, until he kills the wrong guy and is forced to flee the States, leaving behind the life he knows and loves. Suddenly, he finds himself on a plane hurtling toward Reykjavík, Iceland, disguised as an American televangelist named Father Friendly. With no means of escape from this island devoid of gun shops, this island with absolutely no tradition for contract killing, he is forced to come to terms with his bloody past and reevaluate his future, to tragicomic effect. The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning is a story of mistaken identity, human destiny, and the forces of good and evil present within us all.

    But Alan’s new job proves to be anything but boring when his co-workers start turning up dead. The mysterious megacorporation Amalgamated Synergy has taken a deadly interest in Alan and his three roommates, and the hapless quartet are woefully unequipped to deal with the psychotic secretaries, murderous middle managers, and villainous vice-presidents hunting them down. Their investigation leads them deep into Amalgamated Synergy’s headquarters, but can Alan and his friends stay alive long enough to discover who – or what – waits for them on the top floor?

    World-famous Christian leader and bestselling author, Riley Ellison invites the press to join him in exactly two weeks, at which time he will tell Mead Mountain to move on live television, and in accordance with the promises revealed in Scripture, he claims it will move. The lines are drawn and everyone must choose a side. If the mountain moves at Ellison’s command, no one could reasonably continue to doubt God’s existence, and America will enter into the next Great Awakening. If it does not move, pews will be emptied, believers will be shamed into silence, and the faithful will be made a laughingstock worldwide. In the meantime, Ellison continues to do what he always does: attempt to shine Christ's joy into a dark and broken world. He encounters a gun-toting drunk, a God-hating celebrity, and a desperate woman trying to save the life of her son. Will Ellison's relentless pursuit to emulate Jesus act as a transforming force in the lives around him, or will the horrendous pain of this world cause Riley's spark to finally burn out? And will any of it be enough to overcome the biases of the reporter assigned to his story? It will take a miracle. "...One of the most uplifting and beautiful books I've ever read. This book is filled with the name of Jesus Christ and totally shows God's glory..." "...Best Christian fiction I have read! The book is riveting, thought provoking, and relevant to today..." "...I like Christian fiction, but it often follows a formula. This book breaks that mold, and will change your heart if you let it..." "...It was a story I will want to read again and there will be underlined parts in red..." "...This book took my breath away and made my heart swell. So many beautiful examples of what would happen if we lived out Christ-like love..." "...A real encouragement to me as a Christian, we must not lose hope in a world that seems to be falling apart. Our Heavenly Father sees all and is in complete control of our circumstances. Wow, the call to love is so real and we are able to love thru Christ!..." "...I doubt my little review will mean much, but if you are in a place where you feel God does not hear your prayers, read it..." "...I'll be thinking about this one for a long time..." "...Whatever you think is going to happen to that mountain, you'll be surprised...".

    Regardless of religion, race, sex, sexuality or nationality. He hates all of you. Basically, you are fucked." God is pissed off. He has run out of patience with humans and decided that our time is over. We've had our chance and its back to the drawing board. "Fuck the lot of them" is his newest gospel. Mo, and Jay, best Friends who've fucked up in the past, beg him for one more chance to get the humans back on track. Alongside Mr Saluzar, the head of a global charity foundation, and Nick, The Fallen Angel, they hurtle towards Armageddon and their one chance to prove God wrong. They have seven days to save us. On The Seventh Day contains strong language and religious irreverence which some may find offensive. Irreverent dark humour from the author of Lanarkshire Strays and the dEaDINBURGH series.