When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope - Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy


Manuel J. Smith - 1975
    The best-seller that helps you say: "I just said 'no' and I don't feel guilty!" Are you letting your kids get away with murder? Are you allowing your mother-in-law to impose her will on you? Are you embarrassed by praise or crushed by criticism? Are you having trouble coping with people? Learn the answers in "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty," the best-seller with revolutionary new techniques for getting your own way.

Everything That Remains: A Memoir by the Minimalists


Joshua Fields Millburn - 2013
    Until he didn't anymore. Blindsided by the loss of his mother and his marriage in the same month, Millburn started questioning every aspect of the life he had built for himself. Then, he accidentally discovered a lifestyle known as minimalism...and everything started to change. That was four years ago. Since, Millburn, now 32, has embraced simplicity. In the pursuit of looking for something more substantial than compulsory consumption and the broken American Dream, he jettisoned most of his material possessions, paid off loads of crippling debt, and walked away from his six-figure career. So, when everything was gone, what was left? Not a how-to book but a why-to book, Everything That Remains is the touching, surprising story of what happened when one young man decided to let go of everything and begin living more deliberately. Heartrending, uplifting, and deeply personal, this engrossing memoir is peppered with insightful (and often hilarious) interruptions by Ryan Nicodemus, Millburn's best friend of twenty years.

Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things


Randy O. Frost - 2010
    Now they explore the compulsion through a series of compelling case studies in the vein of Oliver Sacks. With vivid portraits that show us the traits by which you can identify a hoarder's piles on sofas and beds that make the furniture useless, houses that can be navigated only by following small paths called goat trails, vast piles of paper that the hoarders "churn" but never discard, even collections of animals and garbage; Frost and Steketee illuminate the pull that possessions exert on all of us. Whether we're savers, collectors, or compulsive cleaners, very few of us are in fact free of the impulses that drive hoarders to the extremes in which they live. For all of us with complicated relationships to our things, Stuff answers the question of what happens when our stuff starts to own us.

The Storms Can't Hurt the Sky: The Buddhist Path through Divorce


Gabriel Cohen - 2008
    In Storms Can't Hurt the Sky, Gabriel Cohen bravely delves into his personal experience-along with insights from Buddhist masters, parables, humor, social science studies, and interviews with other divorces-to provide a practical and very helpful guide to surviving the pain of any break-up. Focusing on the emotions most common in the dissolution of a relationship-anger, resentment, loss, and grief -- Storms Can't Hurt the Sky shows how thinking about these feelings in surprisingly different ways can lead to a radically better experience. This compulsively readable book offers sound advice and much-needed empathy for anyone dealing with a break-up.

Conflict is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair


Sarah Schulman - 2016
    Illuminating the difference between Conflict and Abuse, Schulman directly addresses our contemporary culture of scapegoating. This deep, brave, and bold work reveals how punishment replaces personal and collective self-criticism, and shows why difference is so often used to justify cruelty and shunning. Rooting the problem of escalation in negative group relationships, Schulman illuminates the ways cliques, communities, families, and religious, racial, and national groups bond through the refusal to change their self-concept. She illustrates how Supremacy behavior and Traumatized behavior resemble each other, through a shared inability to tolerate difference.This important and sure to be controversial book illuminates such contemporary and historical issues of personal, racial, and geo-political difference as tools of escalation towards injustice, exclusion, and punishment, whether the objects of dehumanization are other individuals in our families or communities, people with HIV, African Americans, or Palestinians. Conflict Is Not Abuse is a searing rejection of the cultural phenomenon of blame, cruelty, and scapegoating, and how those in positions of power exacerbate and manipulate fear of the "other" to achieve their goals.Sarah Schulman is a novelist, nonfiction writer, playwright, screenwriter, journalist and AIDS historian, and the author of eighteen books. A Guggenheim and Fulbright Fellow, Sarah is a Distinguished Professor of the Humanities at the City University of New York, College of Staten Island. Her novels published by Arsenal include Rat Bohemia, Empathy, After Delores, and The Mere Future. She lives in New York.

Stress Free for Good: 10 Scientifically Proven Life Skills for Health and Happiness


Fred Luskin - 2004
    . .Radically reduce stressIncrease your physical vitalityImprove your quality of lifeNow you can. We live in an age of stress. Each day at work and at home as we struggle to take care of the basics, constant stress significantly affects our ability to lead healthy and happy lives. We struggle with stomach pain, headaches, mood swings, fatigue, depression, high blood pressure, and even heart failure. Not only does stress damage our physical and emotional well-being, but our relationships and productivity suffer as well. What, if anything, can we do to stop this cycle?There is a multitude of books, magazine features, TV programs, videotapes, meditation classes, and seminars, all aimed at stopping stress. But until now there has never been a scientifically based program that not only starts working within seconds but also creates a foundation to help remove stress and the symptoms associated with it from your life for good.Dr. Fred Luskin and Dr. Kenneth R. Pelletier spent years at the Stanford University School of Medicine developing ten proven skills for eliminating the stress, anxiety, and pain that occur in daily life. Delivering skills that have been honed and tested among a diverse group of Americans, Stress Free for Good is easy to use and starts working immediately. Offering more than just the promise of breaking even and eliminating daily stress, these ten skills provide a foundation for living a healthier and happier life. This is not only a practical and accessible guide to conquering the stress in our lives once and for all, it is also the last stress aid you will ever need.

From Fixation to Freedom: The Enneagram of Liberation


Eli Jaxon-Bear - 2001
    Ramana Maharshi Everyone wants to be happy. This is a universal component of the human condition and may seem so self-evident that it does not bear noting. So why is it that so few people are truly happy? If it is true that our nature is happiness and bliss, why has it been so rare for people to realize this? Why has it been so rare for people to live their lives in gratitude and love? There is a living intelligence in all people that seeks ultimately to discover its true identity and source. It is a fortunate and mysterious moment when the desire for happiness leads to the investigation into personal identity, also known as self-inquiry. In the light of direct self-inquiry, limitations that once seemed to define oneself are discovered to be more like transparent lines drawn on water. They exist only on the surface of consciousness in one s imagination. When these illusions of mind are clearly exposed, true limitless being reveals itself. The Enneagram has appeared in our time as an illusory medicine to cure an imaginary disease. The disease is the egoic idea of separation from God, from one s true source. The cure is to look in the wisdom mirror of the Enneagram to see past all false identification to the truth of being. Eli Jaxon-Bear presents a radically new model of the ego and the psyche. Bringing together his background in Buddhism with the Sufi work on essence, he presents a fresh approach to awakening by using the Enneagram s nine fixated structures of ego to clearly describe who you are not. You will see how habits of egoic identification continuously appear to veil the pure, pristine consciousness that you truly are. When these habits of mind are exposed, there is a clear choice to end the bondage of ego-based suffering and to realize the vast, inherent freedom of one s true nature. In this book, Eli gives us the map of the prison of mind and the keys to freedom.

Extraordinary Relationships: A New Way of Thinking about Human Interactions


Roberta M. Gilbert - 1992
    Kerr, M.D., Director, Georgetown Family Center, Washington, D.C. and coauthor with Dr. Murray Bowen of Family Evaluation After food, water, and shelter, relationships are the most important factors in determining your quality of life. At work, productivity and efficiency depend on relationships. At home, relationships with your spouse, children, and friends are keys to success and happiness. And among nations, relationships start and stop wars. This invaluable guide shows that only by further developing yourself can you further develop your relationships. Based on the innovative family systems theory pioneered by the late Dr. Murray Bowen, this important and penetrating book offers practical and authoritative family therapy advice that has helped thousands of people throughout the last three decades. It's a blueprint to better relationships that tells how the principles of family systems theory can be used in all arenas of your life, including intimate relationships, friendships, family relationships, single life, workplace relationships, international relationships, and your relationship with yourself. "A perfect and unpretentious primer of family relationships . a relief to read." --Dr. Walter Toman, Professor Emeritus, Erlangen-Nurnberg University, Germany, and author of Family Constellation

Mindfulness in Plain English


Henepola Gunaratana - 1992
    This expanded edition includes the complete text of its predecessor along with a new chapter on cultivating loving kindness. For anyone who is new to meditation, this is a great resource for learning how to live a more productive and peaceful life.

Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life


Shakti Gawain - 1978
    Now considered a classic, Creative Visualization teaches readers how to use their imaginations to manifest their deepest desires.

Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being


Martin E.P. Seligman - 2011
    Traditionally, the goal of psychology has been to relieve human suffering, but the goal of the Positive Psychology movement, which Dr. Seligman has led for fifteen years, is different—it’s about actually raising the bar for the human condition. Flourish builds on Dr. Seligman’s game-changing work on optimism, motivation, and character to show how to get the most out of life, unveiling an electrifying new theory of what makes a good life—for individuals, for communities, and for nations. In a fascinating evolution of thought and practice, Flourish refines what Positive Psychology is all about. While certainly a part of well-being, happiness alone doesn’t give life meaning. Seligman now asks, What is it that enables you to cultivate your talents, to build deep, lasting relationships with others, to feel pleasure, and to contribute meaningfully to the world? In a word, what is it that allows you to flourish? “Well-being” takes the stage front and center, and Happiness (or Positive Emotion) becomes one of the five pillars of Positive Psychology, along with Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment—or PERMA, the permanent building blocks for a life of profound fulfillment. Thought-provoking in its implications for education, economics, therapy, medicine, and public policy—the very fabric of society—Flourish tells inspiring stories of Positive Psychology in action, including how the entire U.S. Army is now trained in emotional resilience; how innovative schools can educate for fulfillment in life and not just for workplace success; and how corporations can improve performance at the same time as they raise employee well-being. With interactive exercises to help readers explore their own attitudes and aims, Flourish is a watershed in the understanding of happiness as well as a tool for getting the most out of life. On the cutting edge of a science that has changed millions of lives, Dr. Seligman now creates the ultimate extension and capstone of his bestselling classics, Authentic Happiness and Learned Optimism.

The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide: How to Declutter, Organize, and Simplify Your Life


Francine Jay - 2010
     Do you ever feel overwhelmed, instead of overjoyed, by all your possessions? Do you secretly wish a gale force wind would blow the clutter from your home? If so, it's time to simplify your life! The Joy of Less is a fun, lighthearted guide to minimalist living. Part One provides an inspirational pep talk on the joys and rewards of paring down. Part Two presents the STREAMLINE method: ten easy steps to rid your house of clutter. Part Three goes room by room, outlining specific ways to tackle each one. Part Four helps you trim your to-do list and free up your time, and explains how saving space in your closets can save the planet. Ready to sweep away the clutter? Just open this book, and you'll be on your way to a simpler, more streamlined, and more serene life.

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life


Susan Forward - 2002
    But Susan Forward pulls no punches when it comes to those whose deficiencies cripple their children emotionally. Her brisk, unreserved guide to overcoming the stultifying agony of parental manipulation—from power trips to guilt trips and all other killers of self worth—will help deal with the pain of childhood and move beyond the frustrating relationship patterns learned at home.Source: Amazon.com

The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency (Hazelden Meditation Series)


Melody Beattie - 1990
    Beloved author Melody Beattie will help you learn the importance of letting go.Written for those of us who struggle with codependency, these daily meditations offer growth and renewal, and remind us that the best thing we can do is take responsibility for our own self-care. Melody Beattie integrates her own life experiences and fundamental recovery reflections in this unique daily meditation book written especially for those of us who struggle with the issue of codependency. Problems are made to be solved, Melody reminds us, and the best thing we can do is take responsibility for our own pain and self-care. In this daily inspirational book, Melody provides us with a thought to guide us through the day and she encourages us to remember that each day is an opportunity for growth and renewal.

Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives


Michael Newton - 1994
    Newton discovered some amazing insights into what happens to us between lives. Journey of Soulsis the record of 29 people who recalled their experiences between physical deaths. Through their extraordinary stories, you will learn specifics about:How it feels to die What you see and feel right after death The truth about spiritual guides What happens to disturbed souls Why you are assigned to certain soul groups in the spirit world and what you do there How you choose another body to return to Earth The different levels of souls: beginning, intermediate, and advanced When and where you first learn to recognize soulmates on Earth The purpose of life Journey of Souls is a graphic record or travel log by these people of what happens between lives on Earth. They give specific details as they movingly describe their astounding experiences.After reading Journey of Souls, you will gain a better understanding of the immortality of the human soul. You will meet day-to-day challenges with a greater sense of purpose. You will begin to understand the reasons behind events in your own life.Journey of Souls is a life-changing book. Already, over 600,000 people have taken Journey of Souls to heart, giving them hope in trying times.