One of five lively children born to two Texas natives—Beverly, a proper Dallas lady, and Thad, a young naval officer—she always had a knack for storytelling, role-playing, and adventure. As a military family, the Hardens moved often, and their travels eventually took them to Yokohama, off the coast of Japan, during the Vietnam War era. It was here that Beverly, amid the many challenges of raising her family abroad, found her own self-expression in ikebana, the ancient Japanese art of flower arranging.Using the philosophy of ikebana as her starting point, Marcia Gay Harden intertwines the seasons of her mother’s life with her own journey from precocious young girl to budding artist in New York City to Academy Award=winning actress. With a razor-sharp wit, as well as the kind of emotional honesty that has made her performances resonate with audiences worldwide, Marcia captures the joys and losses of life even as her precious mother gracefully strives to maintain her identity while coming to grips with Alzheimer’s disease.Powerful and incredibly stirring, The Seasons of My Mother illustrates the unforgettable vulnerability and beauty of motherhood, as Marcia does what Beverly can no longer do: she remembers.

    His experience was not the little league, boys-of-summer stuff of modern America. For him, it was life and death. Now middleaged and living in California, Alan finds himself coaching a team of eight-year-olds in his beloved sport—and nothing is going right. For a start, the kids are no good at soccer. Secondly, they’re pampered. Born and bred on the sport, Black’s hardscrabble Scottish upbringing consisted of playing tough and victory at all costs. Needless to say, his coaching methods are a far cry from the “winning isn’t everything” mentality his little leaguers have been reared with; and players and parents alike are shocked as Black attempts to transform the losing team through drills and bombast. Alone at night, watching evangelicals on TV, Black finds himself searching for some truth in the culture he finds so bizarre. And it’s with the Tigers that he feels most out of sync—faced with a mix of soft suburban children, a raft of overprotective parents, and an Iranian co-coach called Ali. Told with Black’s uproarious Scottish sensibility, Kick the Balls follows the abrasive, irreverent, and hilarious coach as he contends with a team that winds up with a zero-win record. Both a celebration of his own tough childhood and an account of one man’s navigation of an alien culture, Kick the Balls will delight fans of well-told, laugh-out-loud memoirs.

    But what is it that drives people to possess objects that have no conceivable use? To Have and To Hold is a captivating tour of collectors and their treasures from medieval times to the present, from a cabinet containing unicorn horns and a Tsar's collection of teeth to the macabre art of embalmer Dr. Frederick Ruysch, the fabled castle of William Randolph Hearst, and the truly preoccupied men who stockpile food wrappers and plastic cups. An engrossing story of the collector as bridegroom, deliriously, obsessively happy, wed to his possessions, till death do us part.

    Illustrated with 16 pages of photographs.

    

    And he shares them with brutal honesty in this very book, along with plenty of hilarious (and sometimes painful) anecdotes about his career.This is not a book that will tell you how to format a manuscript or write a compelling query letter. It's a book about how to cope with rejection and bad reviews. Book signings where nobody shows up. Helplessly watching your peers go on to greater success than you. He's been through all of that and so much more, and in these pages you'll have a bunch of laughs as you commiserate and figure out how to get through it all.

    Nine feet square by twelve feet high, it contains over 2000 miniature objects from around the world. This volume contains photographs of the castle and its garden.

    With topics such as pointless professional development where the author learned how to make bird noises, insanely incompetent teachers who make the good ones look bad, the shit parades that are parent conferences, lack of discipline even for kids who attack people with weapons, outrageous parent requests such as checking the size and color of a teenager's poop, this follow-up to the wildly popular memoir Teacher Misery does not disappoint! Think the stories in Teacher Misery were crazy? Just wait till you read More Teacher Misery!"Morris opens up about the comical misery that has become the teaching profession-giving a voice to teachers everywhere." Parent Herald"One of the funniest teacher books you'll ever read!" Bored Teachers"The stories that Morris tells about the school system are riveting. The antics and violence and outright stupidity that she and other teachers have had to endure are outright insane -- some of it is so crazy it's almost unbelievable." Mission Incomplete"A must read for every single human being on this world, from teachers to parents, students, administrators,  just name it. Let me be honest, nonfiction kind of book is not my cup of tea, but this book is simply amazing, hilarious, keep surprising me non stop!" Jessica's Book Blog"This one is just the most hilarious and heart-breaking ever! Laugh out loud funny!" Teachers Are Terrific"Her stories are so ridiculous, that a non-educator might actually believe they're fabricated. Unfortunately, those of us who are on the inside know it's all too real. Her stories are laugh out loud funny, touching, and at times, maddening." Having a Mom Moment"This book is a great read and a real eye-opener." Carpe Librum"I recommend this book for many reasons. Morris is a great writer who did a great job at presenting her case. She is funny and entertaining. She is above all honest with her interpretation and the things that she sees around her. I liked the variation in text and material. Overall, this books needs to be spread around the country. She isn't the only person that feels this way. There are thousands of other people out there like her and their voices need to be heard." The Next Book on my List"This book was a HILARIOUS read!" The Simply Organized Teacher"I dare you not to laugh out loud!" Robin O'Bryant, New York Times bestselling author of Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves "Jane is a gifted storyteller, you will chuckle and you will sig. The perfect gift for your kid's teacher or a teacher friend!" Joyce Kaufman, EdD, Host of The Joyce Kaufman Show, Newstalk 850 WFTL "Jane Morris gives us a beautifully written exposé about the worst sides of today's students, parents and school administrators." Bruce Tulgan, bestselling author of Not Everyone Gets a Trophy: How to Manage the Millenials "Jane Morris lifts the curtain on the horror teachers in our country face every day." Laurie Notaro, New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club "The stories Morris tells are unbelievable and yet, I'm positive they're true." Jen Mann, New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat "Morris dishes on the truth about trying to teach in this culture and it is hilarious, informative, and insightful." Stefanie Wilder Taylor, New York Times bestselling author of Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay "A compelling answer to anyone thoughtless enough to assert that teachers have it easy.

    Chapters cover types of hipsters, celebrity hipsters, hipsters through the ages, hipster love connections, and the next generation of hipsters (AKA hipster babies).

    As Johnny Knoxville so succinctly put it, Nieratko is an asshole, but whether Chris is rescuing a stalker from choking on her own vomit, getting his nose broken for having AIDS (he doesn't) or marrying the one woman that could put up with his insanity, his life sounds so much like a collection of hilarious bar stories it's impossible not to grab a beer and listen to the whole thing.

    Less gear. Less anxiety. Less stress. Less fear. A Lesser Photographer is the missing guide you've always wanted to the only gear that really matters: the gear between your ears. In under an hour, you’ll be able to identify the myths you’ve been taught about photography and embrace useful creative habits that will set you apart. Praise for previous editions: “For something beautiful and well-said, check out A Lesser Photographer.” — David duChemin “Amazing read…I really recommend everyone get a copy.” — Chris Marquardt “CJ Chilvers reevaluates what it means to be a photographer in this manifesto. Most of the points apply to virtually any creative endeavor or obsession. ‘The real show is outside the viewfinder.’” — Jim Coudal “I have to say, CJ has a great attitude. If you care at all about photography, he’s a must read.” — Patrick Rhone “Every photographer should follow CJ Chilvers.” — Eric Kim

     As seen on ESPN's Cold Pizza Fantasy football -- one of America's most popular, and profitable, virtual pastimes -- became a way of life for sports humorist and author Mark St. Amant. Utterly fed up with never having won his league championship, St. Amant abandoned a successful advertising career to make fantasy football his full-time job, embarking on a sprawling reconnaissance mission to discover what really makes this game, and its 20 million players, tick. Committed is the result of St. Amant's ranting, relentless, and strategic pursuit of his own obsession. In this wickedly funny and deeply informative work, St. Amant offers readers an all-access sideline pass to his wild, unprecedented fantasy football season, and to the hobby itself. From its humble beginnings in a New York hotel in 1962 to a multibillion-dollar business today, from local and online leagues to high-stakes, cutthroat Las Vegas competitions, St. Amant lays bare the facts, figures, and fanaticism of fantasy football in all its multidimensional glory.

    L. Mencken's astonishing career as the premier American social critic of the twentieth century. Gathered by Mencken himself before he died in 1956, this second chrestomathy ("a collection of selected literary passages," with the accent on the tom) contains writings about a variety of subjects - politics, war, music, literature, men and women, lawyers, brethren of the cloth. Some of his essays have beguiling titles - "Notes for an Honest Autobiography," "The Commonwealth of Morons," "Le Vice Anglais," "Acres of Babble," "Hooch for the Artist." All of them are a pleasure to read, and we are reminded that what Mencken wrote in the early years of this century remains applicable to a very different America.Publishers WeeklyThis book's precursor, A Mencken Chrestomathy (collection), was a bestseller in 1949; this anthology of 238 short excerpts from a range of works, selected and annotated by Mencken but unfinished, lay undisturbed in a Baltimore library until Teachout, an arts columnist for the New York Daily News, found it in 1992, while working on a Mencken biography. Teachout considers Mencken's work still immediate. Indeed, quotable lines abound: ``His public life is an endless series of evasions and false pretenses,'' writes Mencken on ``the politician under democracy.'' Baltimore's bard can be magnificent and maddening in the same passage, damning American idiocies while disparaging immigrants. But what impresses most about this collection is Mencken's breadth; few contemporary writers would assume such a broad brief, writing not only about politics, law and the clergy but also about geography, literature, music and drink. To apply a Mencken sobriquet, he was no lesser eminento. (Jan.)Library JournalSelected as a continuation of the original chrestomathy by the Baltimore iconoclast himself before his death, this logically organized sampling of his pre-Depression credos (mostly from The Smart Set and American Mercury) suggests why Mencken was to a whole generation of American youth not just a witty newspaperman with a dazzling style but a force gleefully battering America's deep-rooted Puritan inhibitions. An early champion of Sinclair Lewis, Eugene O'Neill, and Theodore Dreiser, Mencken ridiculed America's institutions, from Rotary Clubs to Harvard professors to the Senate. Sometimes wrongheaded in his judgments, he was unschooled but self-educated in music and politics. His views are sometimes racist and sexist, but they're seldom dull and-in an age of self-conscious "niceness"-never polite. Well worth dipping into.-Charles C. Nash, Cottey Coll., Nevada, Mo.Gilbert TaylorFollowing My Life as Author and Editor" (1993) and Fred Hobson's biography , the Menckenian revival continues apace with this sparkling successor to the first chrestomathy, which was a best-seller in 1949. More than an anthology, the second volume represents pieces (some previously unpublished) that Mencken himself selected and revised before his stroke aborted the project; another proposal to publish came to nought in 1963. Over 60 percent of the 238 items, many from Mencken's magazines Smart Set" and American Mercury", are not available elsewhere, which in itself makes the publication of this title something of a literary event. That it parades again the sage of Baltimore in his incisive, if often irksome, eloquence only confirms him as one of the better belletrists of the century. The job of discriminator of taste exists to be seized in any age, and in the teens and twenties, Mencken extolled and excoriated with idiosyncratic abandon. The books and music he reviewed have faded from memory, but his satirical exfoliations remain fresh, for example, in praise of a bartender's memoir of the bibulous arts or in contempt for a Rotarian's history of his organization. Edited by New York critic Terry Teachout, who is preparing his own biography of the provocateur, this entertaining, exasperating collection captures Mencken's gloomy view of human nature and his bright delight in stripping from it all cant and concealment.

    Who wouldn't have second thoughts about ordering the "hamburger" on the diner's menu? Would it be best to skip the "blowout" sale at the department store? What hidden price must be paid for something marked "free"? Assembled by the creator of the wildly popular "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks, this book surveys the havoc wreaked by quotation marks on signs, menus, placards, and posters that leave reality upended by supposed "facts." This smarty-pants guide is "perfect" for desperate grammarians, habitual air quoters, and anyone who appreciates a good laugh.

    It is surprising then that until now there has been no major one-volume reference devoted to the most widely dispersed and influential language of our time: the English language. A language-lover's dream, The Oxford Companion to the English Language is a thousand-page cornucopia covering virtually every aspect of the English language as well as language in general. The range of topics is remarkable, offering a goldmine of information on writing and speech (including entries on grammar, literary terms, linguistics, rhetoric, and style) as well as on such wider issues as sexist language, bilingual education, child language acquisition, and the history of English. There are biographies of Shakespeare, Noah Webster, Noam Chomsky, James Joyce, and many others whohave influenced the shape or study of the language; extended articles on everything from psycholinguistics to sign language to tragedy; coverage of every nation in which a significant part of the population speaks English as well as virtually every regional dialect and pidgin (from Gullah and Scouseto Cockney and Tok Pisin). In addition, the Companion provides bibliographies for the larger entries, generous cross-referencing, etymologies for headwords, a chronology of English from Roman times to 1990, and an index of people who appear in entries or bibliographies. And like all Oxford Companions, this volume is packed with delightful surprises. We learn, for instance, that the first Professor of Rhetoric at Harvard later became President (John Quincy Adams); that "slogan" originally meant "war cry"; that the keyboard arrangement QWERTY became popular not because it was efficientbut the opposite (it slows down the fingers and keeps them from jamming the keys); that "mbenzi" is Swahili for "rich person" (i.e., one who owns a Mercedes Benz); and that in Scotland, "to dree yir ain weird" means "to follow your own star." From Scrabble to Websters to TESOL to Gibraltar, the thirty-five hundred entries here offer more information on a wider variety of topics than any other reference on the English language. Featuring the work of nearly a hundred scholars from around the world, this unique volume is the ideal shelf-mate to The Oxford Companion to English Literature. It will captivate everyone who loves language.