Hundreds of thousands of fans tune in weekly to their podcast and television broadcast to get their analysis of the previous week's matches and soccer news. But for all their passion, many American fans are new to the sport: they weren't following it (or weren't yet born) when, for example, Maradona scored two of the most remarkable World Cup goals of all time in 1986, or when George Best was leading Manchester United to glory on the pitch and boozing and rampaging off of it. Now, Rog and Davo fill in all the gaps with this hugely entertaining and idiosyncratic guide to the sport they—and we—love. Published on the eve of the 2018 World Cup, this will be the book every soccer fan will need to have.

    Keeping her end up while seven grown-up children tear about the fecking place like the eejits haven't got a home to go to.Packed with Mammy's tips for keeping a perfect family, or at least a family, as well as contributions from her children, neighbours and other hangers on, Mrs Brown's Family Handbook dispenses advice in her own inimical fecking style. You'll learn:• why every mammy's secret weapon is the tea towel• the dos and don't of cleaning up Granddad • what Dermot doesn't know about farting (not much)• what Winnie knows about seks (not enough)• all about the Five-Sausages-A-Day Diet (hint: contains sausages)• from Maria all about pain relief in child birth (if its free, take it)The perfect gift for anyone in a large family - it's one present and cheap - or with no family at all (seeing what they're missing might cheer the miserable feckers up), Mrs Brown's Family Handbook is also ideal for anyone sick and tired of giving out bloody DVDs for Christmas.Brendan O'Carroll is an Irish writer, producer, comedian, actor, director and author. He is best known for playing Agnes Brown in Mrs Brown's Boys, which won the best sitcom BAFTA in 2012. He has written four films and nine comedy shows, including The Course (1995), The Last Wedding (1999) and last year saw the release of his DVD for the live tour Good Mourning Mrs Brown. He has also published seven novels, including The Mammy, The Scrapper and The Young Wan - a number of which have been translated into 12 languages.

    In this entertaining and inspirational book you'll hear from 21 top humor writers as they discuss the comedy writing process, their influences, their likes and dislikes, and experiences in the industry. Funny and informative, And Here's the Kicker is a must have guide for aspiring humor writers and simply a great read for fans.

    

    Jokes? People tell jokes on Twitter? YES, they do. And they are hilarious ... but who wants to sift through the hashtags, RTs and FFs to get to the good stuff? WE GET IT! Parents don’t have time for all that. That’s why the duo behind the illustrated humor blog Science of Parenthood teamed up with Twitter maven Kate Hall of Hall of Tweets to create The Big Book of Parenting Tweets —a laugh-riot collection of more than three-hundred tweetable moments straight from the parenting trenches from the most hysterical comedians on Twitter, who just happen to be parents. Here is just a peek at some of what you’ll find inside:My 4yo is trying to sell my own M&M's back to me. This guy's going places.— @FatherWithTwinsWith my wife away, my children keep asking me for things like meals and bandaids and sympathy, but I don't know where we keep any of that.— @KalvinMacleodShe took 4 y/o to the park & texted "Can I get her ice-cream?"Get her a Heineken for all I care. Free babysitters get to call the shots.— @BunmiLaditanI wish bottles of ibuprofen came with a little prize inside, like maybe a babysitter.— @SuburbanSnapsTo anyone out there thinking about having kids, today my 2yo threw a temper tantrum because she couldn’t get rid of her shadow. — @XplodingUnicornPeppered with cartoons by Science of Parenthood, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets is the perfect gift for every over-worked, under-showered, sleep-deprived parent who could use a quick laugh, because who has time for more?

    The story captures the struggles of a family as it was pulled apart by poverty and alcohol, yet bound by witty—and sometimes ribald—humor.The cast of characters reads like fiction, but it is actually truth. There’s the father, the sarcastic, anti-government, alcoholic, and general ne’er-do-well. He moved his family from state to state, only to leave them again for years at a time in search of construction work. He’d return with empty pockets and bizarre interests such as ESP, pyramid power, and telekinesis. The mother, an Irish Catholic, stayed devoted to him.Her lack of education and access to transportation in a small town led to a dependence upon welfare.Two older sisters complete the picture, acting as sources of tension and strength throughout the book. And then there’s the narrator, the youngest—the snoop, the clown, and the observer.In the spirit of memoirs such as Blackbird and Angela’s Ashes, the narrative addresses serious issues while avoiding self-pity. Don’t Spend it All on Candy continuously comes back to the humor that sustained them while celebrating the tenacity that led all three daughters to break the cycle of poverty.

    She knows who’s boss (they are) and the myriad ways a loving pet can make you feel guilty twenty-four hours a day. This new edition of Merrill Markoe’s classic collection of humorous essays gives readers the choicest selections along with brand-new material.In these razor-sharp essays, Markoe recounts her dogs’ phone chats with animal communicators, her search for past lives, and her brief stint as a stun gun saleswoman. She describes the workshop that taught her how to launch an Internet porn business and another that gave proper instruction in the esoteric art of becoming a dominatrix. She shares insight into what it is like to structure your day using only dog rules, how to spot a really horrible restaurant, and what it’s like to have a romantic dinner with Fabio. There’s even a bright side to preparing for the apocalypse: “At last, it is time to forget about fat grams and low cholesterol.” This enchantingly rambunctious and boundlessly enjoyable book gives you Merrill Markoe at her best. You’ll devour it in one sitting (and so may your pet).

    White. “But that’s not how my brain works. I’m lost on page three.” Dana blogs at A Slob Comes Clean, chronicling her successes and failures with her self-described “deslobification process.” In the beginning she used the name “Nony” (short for aNONYmous), because she was sharing her deep, dark, slob secret. Now she has truly come clean—with not only her real name but the strategies she has developed, tested, and proved in her own home. She has learned what it takes to bring a home out of Disaster Status, which habits make the biggest and most lasting impact, and how to keep clutter under control.In How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind, Dana explains that cleaning your house is not a onetime project but a series of ongoing premade decisions. Her reality-based cleaning and organizing techniques debunk the biggest housekeeping fantasies and help readers learn what really works. Chapter titles includeMy First Step: Giving Up on the FantasyThe Worst Thing About the Best WayJust Tell Me What to DoConquering LaundryGet Dinner on the TablePutting an End to the Never-Ending Weekly Cleaning TasksDon’t Get OrganizedHow to Declutter Without Making a Bigger MessFighting the Perceived Value BattleBut Will It Last?With a huge helping of empathy and humor, Dana provides a step-by-step process with strategies for getting rid of enormous amounts of stuff in as little time (and with as little emotional drama) as possible.

    However, emotional trouble--unhappiness--is essentially our own creation. This book explores two things you need to know about unhappiness and how to replace it with joy. The first is the failure to understand reality, and the second is egotism. Together they result in distress, dis-ease, and a failure to take personal responsibility.His Holiness the Dalai Lama counsels readers to take responsibility for their thoughts and actions; to understand that our problems are of our own making and not the result circumstances or the actions of others. He presents a path for taking charge of our lives.Accessible, direct, and down-to-earth, this slender volume is for fans of the Dalai Lama, as well as anyone looking for an easy-to-understand guide to an authentic and joyful life.

    But where once we settled down to admire the 'top-quality original songwriting' that the contest was inaugurated to showcase, throughout the long post-ABBA decades Eurovision has come to entertain us for all the wrong reasons: we chortle at its magnificent foolishness, its stubborn reinforcement of the crudest national stereotypes, at a scoreboard shamelessly corrupted by cross-border friendship and hatred. And as post-modern connoisseurs of showbiz meltdown, our focus has shifted from the blandly competent winners to the spangled, hapless, table-propping losers, those left to wander the lonely, windswept summit of Mount Fiasco. The gold standard of farcical failure, the benchmark of badness, to score nul points is to suffer international ignominy and find sympathetic understanding replaced by brutal guffaws. Remorseful of his own longstanding contributions to the latter chorus, yet darkly fascinated with those lives shadowed by the entertainment world's most grandiose humiliation, Tim Moore sets off to track down the thirteen Eurominstrels who have come and gone without troubling the scorers since Norway's Jahn Teigen twanged his silver braces and leapt splay-legged off the Palais des Congres stage in 1978. From Lisbon to Lithuania, from the Black Sea to the Baltic, Moore travels the continent to hear their extraordinary stories - 'poignant, ludicrous and heartwarming in almost equal measure' - recounting as he does so the no less improbable history of Eurovision itself, a towering cathedral of cheese that can nonetheless claim responsibility for keeping Norway out of the EU and catalysing the overthrow of a Portuguese dictatorship.

    Now, however, with prices rising and more chemicals than foods in the grocery store, families are starting to take notice. The return to sustainable living is long overdue, but many are so intimidated by the amount of work involved that they never even start.The Five-Year Guide to Self-Sufficiency follows a logical progression to move your homestead forward every year in an organized and affordable manner. Over the course of five years, you will learn how to get the most from your land, whether it be half an acre or 100. You'll grow everything from a basic garden bed to a fruitful orchard, pick from a wide variety of livestock ranging from chickens to alpacas, and lead a simpler life with less reliance on fossil fuels.The road may be long and arduous, but there's no need to overwhelm yourself. By taking everything at a rational pace, you too can remove yourself from a meaningless culture and improve your quality of life one day at a time.

       At the core of Complete Spanish is the Living Language Method™, based on linguistic science, proven techniques, and over 65 years of experience. Our method teaches you the whole language, so you can express yourself, not just recite memorized words or scripts.   Millions have learned with Living Language®. Now it’s your turn.     • 3 Books: 46 lessons, additional review exercises, culture notes, an extensive glossary, and a grammar summary—plus a bonus notebook    • 9 Audio CDs: Vocabulary, dialogues, audio exercises, and more—listen while using the books or use for review on the go    • Free Online Learning: Flashcards, games, and interactive quizzes for each lesson at www.livinglanguage.com/languagelab  To learn more visit livinglanguage.com.    The Living Language Method™  Build a Foundation Start speaking Spanish immediately using essential words and phrases.  Progress with Confidence Build on each lesson as you advance to full sentences, then actual conversations.  Retain what You’ve Learned Special recall exercises move your new language from short-term to long-term memory.  Achieve Your Goals Don’t just mimic or memorize. Develop practical language skills to speak in any situation.

    Now streamlined and updated, the book that has literally put millions on the highway to greater accomplishment and success can show you how to have maximum impact as a speaker--every day, and in every situation that demands winning others over to your point of view.

    This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.

    But the second the Brits open their mouths, all bets are off. So don’t dream of visiting the UK, dating a Brit, or truly understanding what Jude Law is saying without this handy, hilarious, and informative guide to Britspeak. With the cheekiness of Austin Powers and the tidbit quotient of Schott’s Miscellany, screenwriter Jonathan Bernstein’s collection of Cockney rhyming slang, insults culled from British television shows of yore, and regional and “high British” favorites provides hours of educational, enlightening, even life saving hilarity. And if it doesn’t accomplish that, at least you’ll be aware that when a British citizen describes you as a “wally,” a “herbert,” a “spanner,” or a “bampot,” he’s not showering you with compliments. Knickers in a Twist is as indispensable as a London city guide, as spot-on funny as an episode of The Office, and as edifying as Born to Kvetch and Eats, Shoots and Leaves.