After all, lovers come and go, but our girlfriends sustain, nurture, and protect us from cradle to grave. Friends on a Rotten Day explores the supportive, uproarious, and sometimes complex, relationships between girlfriends through an indepth astrological analysis of each Sun sign. DixonCooper shows readers what makes their friend tick on a soul level, revealing each friend's inner character, friendship style, love style (including what to do or not do if a pal picks a loser), and party style. She offers suggestions on the best gifts to buy your friend, how to calm her down, cheer her up, and return the unconditional support and love that she gives you. Readers will discover why their Gemini buddy changes her mind so often, why the Virgo gal pal sweats the small stuff, why a Scorpio girlfriend sometimes seems distant, and why the Leo chum needs frequent headpats. They'll also learn why a Pisces pal should never be forced to make a snap decision, why a Capricorn girlfriend might seem too serious for her own good, the truth about a Taurus friend's hidden anxieties, the competitive side of an Aries chum, what causes Cancer pal's emotional train wrecks, why the Aquarius buddy has a rebellious side, and why the Sagittarius girlfriend has occasional angry outbursts. "Dixon-Cooper reveals what every astrologer knows but none has dared say. (She) takes us on a seriously humorous ride through the land of truth and consequences. I highly recommend it." (Suzanne White)

    Many written by monks, and some written by hippies and spiritual gurus. But how many are written by an ordinary dude? Someone who is just like you: someone who has a day job, whose preferred outfit is jeans and a t-shirt, and enjoys knocking back a few beers on Friday night? I'm as ordinary as they come. The only difference...I've been meditating for over 13 years. And I want to show you how you can too—in a straightforward language that any ordinary dude or dudette can understand. Over a decade of practice, meditation has transformed my life, bringing more peace, calm and clarity into it than I could have ever imagined when I started at the age of 19. And now I want to share how meditation can do the same for you.

    A diverse and hilarious collection of treatises, insightful essays, philosophical diagrams, saucy poetry and other amusing trifles, The Affected Provincial's Companion will inspire you to transform yourself into a living work of art, thus setting you upon a course towards that misty, faraway shore known to the ancients as Enchantment.The perils of sportswear, self-defense for sissies, the proper grooming of facial hair, and how to become a bon vivant—all this and much more may be found between the shimmering covers of this sleek and utterly beguiling volume.

    While outrageously false, these hilarious “facts” unearth deep truths about Canadians and their culture. For the over 200,000 people already following on Twitter, @stats_canada is a daily source of the funniest Canadian parody. Now, in their first book, Stats Canada satirizes everything from history, culture, and language to sports, entertainment, politics, weather, and much more. With all-new features, graphs, maps, and other illustrations, Stats Canada has all the laughter you’ve come to expect, with only 10% recycled content! 35% of advice given in any Home Hardware does not come from an actual employee 67% of Canadians own summer snow pants 32% of Canadians can’t spell “tuque” but own at least four 56% of Manitobans are convinced they’ve travelled to the future when visiting other provinces 79% of Canadian teens don’t want to wear their winter coat, it’s not even that cold out 100% of Canadian hockey players give it 110% every game 65% of Canadian Instagram accounts include an artsy photo of a Tim Hortons cup Disclaimer: The official Statistics Canada has taken no issue with the content of this book. They were too polite to object.

    . . and he's hit the jackpot! After the success of his first two books, Duh! and They Did What!?, Fenster has struck again with Well, Duh! Our Stupid World, and Welcome to It. More tales of the dim-witted and simpleminded are incorporated in chapters such as: Food for Thoughtlessness: The All-Turnip Diet and Other Loony Meals at the Mindless Cafe Hollyweird: Bird Brains in Tinsel Town Dumb Ways to Die: Buried Alive but Not for Long Government by the Idiots: How to Get Elected to AnythingCombined sales of Bob Fenster's previous two books total over 50,000 copies.Ted Rueter is a self-described political junkie and a professor of political science at Tulane University in New Orleans. He is the author of eight books and has written for the New York Times, USA Today, the Los Angeles Times, and the Christian Science Monitor. He earned a Ph.D. from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and has taught at Middlebury College, Georgetown University, Smith College, and UCLA. He is the founder of Noise Free America (Noisefree.org). His Web site is DrPolitics.com.Bob Fenster has combed the world of the intellectually challenged searching for more tales of stupidity to entertain us with . . . and he's hit the jackpot! After the success of his first two books, Duh! and They Did What!?, Fenster has struck again with Well, Duh! Our Stupid World, and Welcome to It. More tales of the dim-witted and simpleminded are incorporated in chapters such as: Food for Thoughtlessness: The All-Turnip Diet and Other Loony Meals at the Mindless Cafe Hollyweird: Bird Brains in Tinsel Town Dumb Ways to Die: Buried Alive but Not for Long Government by the Idiots: How to Get Elected to AnythingCombined sales of Bob Fenster's previous two books total over 50,000 copies.

    We dare say there's a bit of Tina Fey's Bossypants in here, too." Looking for a refreshing new take on kicking ass at life? Ruby Rey is not your mother's life coach. She's one hilarious professional writer who has overcome her sucky genes to become happy, rich, and (you be the judge after you read this book) wise. If you're seeking motivation, you'll love Ruby Rey's fresh take on important topics such as: - living the kind of amazing life you'd watch on the big screen - how to change your everyday habits - what the hell it means to "choose happiness" - not being the prettiest, sexiest girl in the room, and how that's an advantage - ditching those frenemies - an alternative to hard work and luck - one weird trick for improving your mood every day Do you like lists? This book has lists! Plus Ruby Rey's real life stories that are sometimes raw, frequently funny, and always honest and insightful. There's something for everyone, from self-help newbies to the more advanced, who've "been there, done that" through all the basic stuff. What's different about this book is how it's filtered through the keen eyes and witty mind of a professional writer who knows how to craft the entertainment you love. Get ready to realign your mind, shake up your routine, and get back on track. Or just kick back and enjoy a few laughs. This collection of easy-to-follow life lessons may be a powerhouse, but it doesn't take itself too seriously. Warning: I Don't Have a Bucket List but My F*ck-It List is a Mile Long contains no sugarcoating. There are, as you may have guessed, a few swear words.

    Although he has been with his wife, Starla, for over twenty years, Dale freely admits that he knows absolutely nothing about women and he has the stories to prove it including: Check Yes or No, Just Friends, You Will Love My Cat, With This Pre-nup I Thee Wed, My Eggs Are Rotting, and Big White Panties. Ladies, if you have ever wondered what your man is really thinking, Dale will tell you. Guys, if your lady has ever left you confused and frustrated, you are not alone. Dale has been there, too. To strengthen your relationship, sit on the couch with your soul mate, share a nice box of wine, and laugh out loud at Big White Panties. Dale Alderman lives in Chantilly, Virginia with his wife, Starla, and two sons, Chase and Logan. He graduated from Virginia Tech in 1984 and received a masters degree from Marymount University in 1995. For 19 years, he worked as a sales and marketing executive for large global corporations, and then he decided to get a real life and spend time with his family. An award-winning author, Dale has appeared on FOX & Friends on the FOX News Channel and has appeared on many nationally syndicated radio shows. Dale is the author of Everyday Dad, a collection of funny stories about fatherhood. He is also the author of The MegaDog Tales, a middle grade adventure about a cocker spaniel that becomes a superhero.

    Stuck at a boring family party, on an awkward date, in a below-par job interview, or any number of other situations in which conversation has become more of a trickle than a flow. Well, fear the excruciation no more, as Richard Herring's Emergency Questions is about to change your life. Containing 1,000 conversation starters from one of our most cherished comedians, along with plenty of answers from the many household names who've appeared on his hundreds of podcasts, this book is virtually guaranteed to remove any social anxiety from your life, and will raise your repartee-game to new heights.

    But her autistic twenty-year-old son Merlin is desperate to lose his virginity, and a prostitute seems like the only option . . . only Lucy picks up an undercover policewoman instead.Let off with a suspended sentence, Lucy resigns herself to the fact that her son will never have sex, let alone find love… until the morning she miraculously discovers Merlin in bed with a girl.But is tough, tattooed Kayleigh just taking Merlin for a ride? If so, why? And what has brought Lucy’s snake of an ex-husband wriggling back into their lives?As all her best laid plans for Merlin’s happiness chaotically unravel, will Lucy ever be able to cut her son’s psychological umbilical cord and start to live her own life? And will the funny, quirky and marvellously magical Merlin ever find real love?With plenty of comic twists and emotional turns, Kathy Lette’s riotous yet heartrending novel tackles the taboo subject of sex for the ‘differently abled’ – and shows us that when it comes to sex, we all have special needs …

     I want all of you who read this book to know you have the tools to feel and look your radiant best. And more than that, I want my daughters - and yours - to embrace the menopause as simply another phase in our lives which is natural and liberating.' Liz Earle, MBE, is one of the world's most respected and trusted authorities on wellbeing. Following on from her bestselling books Skin and The Good Gut Guide, this beautifully illustrated guide shares all of the information, tips and advice you need for a healthy menopause. She provides guidance on how to balance your hormones, the importance of a nourishing diet, the myths and facts about HRT, osteoporosis, how to optimise bone health, and how to boost energy and self-esteem.An expert on beauty, Liz Earle also provides advice on how to take special care of skin, hair and nails, and how to combat ageing with supplements. She also shares 60 nutritious recipes - including many suitable for vegetarians - to help you feel and look your best. 'Liz Earle's practical, honest and uplifting book will help women become stronger as we navigate the Menopause. It's time to celebrate a new chapter in our lives' - Kirsty Wark

    And if that’s too much to ask, remember the sage advice from the staff of a Taipei hotel: “If there is anything we can do to assist and help you, please do not contact us.”

    This behavior is so ingrained, so subtle, and so often mistaken for true intelligence that identifying it, calling it out, or compiling it into an exhaustive digest has never been attempted. Until now.Complete with illustrated tips, examples, and scenarios, 100 Tricks gives you actionable ways to use words like 'actionable', in order to sound smart. Every type of meeting is covered, from general meetings where you stopped paying attention almost immediately, to one-on-one meetings you zoned out on, to impromptu meetings you were painfully subjected to at the last minute. It’s all here.Open this book to any page and find an easy-to-digest trick with an even easier-to-digest illustration, guiding you on: how to nail the big meeting by pacing and nodding, the most effective ways to listen to your coworkers while still completely ignoring them, and the key to making your presentations 'interactive'.If you hadn’t noticed these behaviors before, you will see them now - from your colleagues, your managers, and soon yourself. Each trick is a mirror to the reality of what happens in meetings, told in the form of hilariously bad advice - advice that you might just want to take. But probably not. But maybe.

    A member of the prestigious Magnum agency since 1954, he has photographed all over the world and his images have been the subject of many books and exhibitions.Containing over 500 pictures, over half of which have never been published before, Elliott Erwitt Snaps is a unique and comprehensive survey of his work. From famous images such as Nikita Khrushchev and Richard Nixon arguing in Moscow in 1959 and Marilyn Monroe with the cast of the movie The Misfits, to his many more personal images of places, things, people and animals, Erwitt's unmistakable, often witty, style gives us a snapshot of the famous and the ordinary, the strange and the mundane over a period of more than half a century, through the lens of one of the period's finest image-makers.The book is arranged in nine chapters, each with a one-word title: Look, Move, Play, Read, Rest, Touch, Tell, Point, Stand. For Erwitt, whose photography is a study and celebration of life, these are the basic actions of life - the things people do. The photographs are not intended to illustrate the words, but the words act as a means of grouping and organizing, making broad connections and also playing with pun and ambiguity, in keeping with the visual games Erwitt plays.

    Now, with over 10,000 entries, this edition features the latest in expletives, sexual obscenities and lavatorial euphemisms.

    For the first-time dad, useful and practical information about pregnancy, childbirth, and baby care, including: what to say--and what not to say--when you hear the news; taking care of moms-to-be; what childbirth feels like; crying, diapers, and bathtime; and baby-proofing the home.