Visits to Petal, Part 1 It’s date night in Petal, Georgia, and Nathan, Matt and Shane have some long-awaited alone time with their women and they’re not about to let that opportunity go.Product WarningsThis free story is bonus material for readers of the Chase brothers and Petal, Georgia, series and is not intended to be standalone.

    In these nineteen whip-smart essays, Jon Stewart takes on politics, religion, and celebrity with seething irreverent wit, a brilliant sense of timing, and a palate for the absurd -- and these one-of-a-kind forays into his hilarious world will expose you to all it's wickedly naked truths.

    So this little book provides a low-cost, over-the-counter dosage to cheer up (and/or terrify) those who find themselves on the wrong end of health maintenance. (Whichever the "wrong end" might be.) Some of the funniest humor writers on the scene today share their stories, jokes, therapeutic venting, and scans of the process of Getting Better - including some medical personnel who didn't realize they were being funny.Contributors include columnists, comedians, authors, TV writers, and people with unauthorized access to hospital files.This inexpensive, pocket-sized book is a time-released "get well card" for the ailing and afflicted, an inside chuckle for medical professionals, and a collection of healing fun for those who aren't under care at the moment.

    In this brash, candid, and vulnerable memoir, she spills all of her secrets, dishing on her infamous divorce, motherhood, the plastic surgery that made her “seventeen” again, and much, much more.She’s the brutally honest breath of fresh air on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, known for her dramatic divorce, her barely-there clothing, and her inability to keep her mouth shut. So why should she change now? Brandi Glanville tells all in this hilarious, no-holds-barred memoir. Fans have been waiting for Brandi’s scoop on one of the biggest divorces of the decade, since her husband of eight years abandoned her and their two sons to marry country singer LeAnn Rimes. Not only does Brandi spill the beans about her side of the split, the lovable housewife shares the incredible wild ride that took her from a life in the ghetto to Hollywood’s most elite circles. For the first time, Brandi talks about how she escaped a rough neighborhood on the outskirts of Sacramento and stumbled into a successful modeling career that swept her into a world of Paris Fashion Weeks, private jets, and uncircumcised penises. Before she knew it, Brandi was the perfect Hollywood trophy wife—at least until her marriage exploded. Today, the refreshingly filter-free housewife and unapologetic mom is the newest full-time cast member of Bravo’s juggernaut franchise, where she often elicits raised eyebrows and gossip from her costars for her refusal to be the scorned ex-wife, to be bullied, to change her sarcastic sense of humor, or—on most occasions—to wear a bra. Sassy, raunchy, and compulsively readable, Drinking and Tweeting perfectly captures Brandi’s open-book attitude, as she dishes about everything from her DUI, her cheating ex, her one-night stands, and the secret plastic surgery that made her “seventeen” again. You’re sure to enjoy every page of this funny, upbeat, honest tale. Clear your schedule for an afternoon and grab your favorite cocktail, a comfy seat . . . and maybe a Xanax. But that’s for later.

    Slow and Steady collides with Ms. Full-Speed-Ahead they're both in for the wildest ride of their lives.The forecast is smooth sailing for Oliver Chancellor, scion of Galveston's premier financier. Destined to take his place in the hallowed marble corridors of his family's bank, Chance is content with the future that's been mapped out for him, right down to his upcoming engagement to a prim debutante enthusiastically approved by his socialite mother.But when beautiful Rory St. Claire crosses his path, Chance recklessly plunges into uncharted territory with nothing but his heart to guide him-and a beautiful woman to tempt him.Propelled by a lifelong goal to buy the island home reportedly haunted by her colorful ancestors, Rory desperately needs Chance's help in securing a business loan, and she won't take no for an answer. In the midst of convincing the hesitant blue blood to take a chance on her dream, Rory unexpectedly lands in Chance's arms, stunned by his red-blooded passion-and her own awakened desire. Now, the mismatched pair can't keep their hands off one another, and something tells Rory she's headed for trouble-trouble in the name of love."I had a blast reading Falling for You... As long as Julie Ortolon is writing books like this, romantic comedy is in good hands." --All About Romance"A thoroughly delightful, fast-paced romance about what happens when opposites attract. And the setting is so vividly drawn, you feel part of the surroundings. A lovely story!" --Old Barn Gazette"Full of humor... Very entertaining and well worth your time!" --Huntress Book Reviews

    "Who Put All This Sand in My Hourglass Figure," "When I Am Old I Shall Be Purple," and "Allow Me to Repeat Myself...Again" are just a few of the topics her fans--both new and old--will be laughing at as they nod in agreement. To complete her memorable recipe, Martha mixes in an ample sampling of poignant, touching stories, reminding readers what life is about and what is truly important.

    There, she becomes entangled in a case of the worst kind - a serial killer targeting young women.As she is drawn further into the seedy underground in her attempt to unravel the truth, Chanel makes new friends, new enemies and attracts the attention of the killer. Can she solve the case in time, or will she become the killer's next victim?This is a light-hearted cozy mystery with plenty of laughs suitable for fans of Janet Evanovich, Deborah Coonts, Jana Deleon and Stephanie Bond.

    The columnist-author sheds light on some of the important matters of life, such as the care of Willie Nelson albums and the problems of finding clean underwear when you live alone

    Her old encounters with overdrawn bank accounts and oversized ambitions in the big city have given way to a new set of challenges. The first essay, "Matricide," opens without flinching:People who weren't there like to say that my mother died at home surrounded by loving family. This is technically true, though it was just my brother and me and he was looking at Facebook and I was reading a profile of Hillary Clinton in the December 2009 issue of Vogue.Elsewhere, she carefully weighs the decision to have children—"I simply felt no calling to be a parent. As a role, as my role, it felt inauthentic and inorganic"—and finds a more fulfilling path as a court-appointed advocate for foster children. In other essays, she skewers the marriage-industrial complex and recounts a harrowing near-death experience following a sudden illness. Throughout, Daum pushes back against the false sentimentality and shrink-wrapped platitudes that surround so much of contemporary American experience and considers the unspeakable thoughts many of us harbor—that we might not love our parents enough, that "life's pleasures" sometimes feel more like chores, that life's ultimate lesson may be that we often learn nothing. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the New Age search for the "Best Possible Experience," champions the merits of cream-of mushroom-soup casserole, and gleefully recounts a quintessential "only-in-L.A." story of playing charades at a famous person's home. Combining the piercing insight of Joan Didion with humor reminiscent of Nora Ephron's, Daum dissects our culture's most dangerous illusions, blind spots, and sentimentalities while retaining her own joy and compassion. Through it all, she dramatizes the search for an authentic self in a world where achieving an identity is never simple and never complete.

    In this short book, he provides readers with a fictional account of how a real, new medical technology could revolutionize the future of medicine by curing with sound. THE TUMOR follows the present day experience of the fictional patient Paul, an otherwise healthy 35-year-old father who is diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. Grisham takes readers through a detailed account of Paul’s treatment and his family’s experience that doesn’t end as we would hope. Grisham then explores an alternate future, where Paul is diagnosed with the same brain tumor at the same age, but in the year 2025, when a treatment called focused ultrasound is able to extend his life expectancy. Focused ultrasound has the potential to treat not just brain tumors, but many other disorders, including Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, hypertension, and prostate, breast and pancreatic cancer. For more information, you can visit The Focused Ultrasound Foundation’s website. Here you will find a video of Grisham on the TEDx stage with the Foundation’s chairman and a Parkinson’s patient who brings the audience to its feet sharing her incredible story of a focused ultrasound “miracle.” Readers will get a taste of the narrative they expect from Grisham, but this short book will also educate and inspire people to be hopeful about the future of medical innovation.

    Why cope with insecurities I don't already have?That last one's just me? All right, then.But if the rest sounds familiar, you are experiencing Girl Logic: a characteristically female way of thinking that appears contradictory and circuitous but is actually a complicated and highly evolved way of looking at the world. You end up considering every repercussion of every choice (about dating, career, clothes, lunch) before making a move toward what you really want. And why do we attempt these mental hurdles? Well, that's what this book is all about.The fact is, whether you're obsessing over his last text or the most important meeting of your career, your Girl Logic serves a purpose: It helps push you, question what you want, and clarify what will make you a happier, better person. Girl Logic can be every confident woman's secret weapon, and this book shows you how to wield it.

    Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative--like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it--but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book:PicturesWordsStories about things that happened to meStories about things that happened to other people because of meEight billion dollars*Stories about dogsThe secret to eternal happiness**These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

    Only three things stand in her way: juggling all of her odd jobs, keeping her daddy from gambling away all of their money and getting Carter to see her as a woman. NASCAR racer, Carter Ambrose, has finally decided to take his doctor’s advice and find a new occupation before another wreck on the track kills him. Only his doctor hadn’t counted on his little sister’s best friend, Melanie Ann Smith, crashing his weeks of solitude with her short skirts and platform heels. And that’s not the least of his problems. His mother has decided that she wants grandchildren and the only woman that's good enough for the job-his ex-fiance. Soon Melanie and Carter agree to a temporary relationship. One with benefits that is mutually satisfying in every way, or so each believes. And just when they are ready admit their feelings, family secrets are exposed, threatening Melanie and Carter's fragile relationship. Will Carter risk it all for love, or will Melanie be left holding the trophy for second place?

    It became a film in 1960 starring David Niven and Doris Day, and a television series in 1965. Now you can hear why many consider Jean Kerr to be one of America's funniest writers. In this unique collection of essays, Kerr captures the perils of motherhood, wifehood, selfhood, and other assorted challenges. Listen and learn "How to Decorate in One Easy Breakdown" and how to drop those unwanted pounds with "Aunt Jean's Marshmallow Fudge Diet." Please Don't Eat the Daisies strikes modern listeners as particularly funny because these feminist issues are still relevant today.

    In his first-ever work of autobiography, the comedian and New York Times bestselling author tells how a freakish medical condition descended upon him one October afternoon and led him to the brink of death – in a New York hospital “consistently rated one of the ten best in the country.” What happens when “one of the funniest people in America” (CBS News Sunday Morning) comes face to face with his own mortality? An Unexpected Twist is in equal parts harrowing and hilarious – and a moving affirmation of what it means to be alive.