Turner's "Tales of Imperfection" series, the author relates her adventures on the Jersey Shore, at an Idaho drag show with her in-laws, and surviving the perils of an elementary school ice-cream social with equal parts wit and heart. The laughter pairs well with two parts cocktail.

    She knows the cold and puritanical man who claims to be her husband is not the man she'd married. But she suspects the warm and tender man she does love is buried somewhere deep inside. And she's determined to find him...

    Desperate Measures serves up laughter, romance, cookies, tea - and a whole lot of love. Aimee: A housewife left in the dust by her philandering husband, with an outdated high school education but a serious talent when it comes to confections...Elizabeth: An accountant tired of crunching numbers for hundreds of clients with more money than they know what to do with...Kiki: An exotic dancer who wants nothing more than to get out of the game...Content warning: Due to sexy situations and content, this book is definitely not appropriate for younger readers.A message from Elle about this book: Being a huge bookworm myself, the idea of writing a story about friends finding one another through books was really appealing to me. One thing I’ve learned about people who love books is that they come in all shapes and sizes and from all backgrounds and places, but the common ground of literature somehow makes everything work. When I was younger, I was the only bookworm I knew. Now that I’m an adult, I’ve found the joy of seeking others out and spending time with them. It’s like a whole new world has opened up to me, and so of course I wanted to write about it! Not that I have a former stripper in my book club or anything…

    When mystery shopper Shannon Jacoby meets billionaire Declan McCormick with her hand down a toilet in the men's room of one of his stores, it's love at first flush in this hilarious new romantic comedy from New York Times bestselling author Julia Kent.

    They’re also tired of smelling of fish.When offered the chance to escape from the dreary market stalls of England to run a bar on a sub-tropical island, they recklessly jump at the opportunity - despite their spectacular lack of experience.In Tenerife, dreams of a better life overseas are soon crushed by mini-mafias, East European prostitutes and biblical-grade cockroach infestations.Joe and Joy's foreign fantasy turns into a nightmare as they find themselves trapped with a failing bar in a foreign land, pandering to a bar full of oddball expats while trying to stop their relationship crashing into the rocks.Can they save their business, their dreams, and their relationship before it's too late...

    (I understand that it’s likely the former, which is a fancy “book” way of saying “the first one.”) I talk about my grandparents, doing stand-up comedy as a teenager, bar mitzvahs, and Jewish summer camp, and tell way more stories about doing drugs than my mother would like. I also talk about some of my adventures in Los Angeles, and surely say things about other famous people that will create a wildly awkward conversation for me at a party one day. I hope you enjoy the book should you buy it, and if you don’t enjoy it, I’m sorry. If you ever see me on the street and explain the situation, I’ll do my best to make it up to you.

    Its affectionate, wacky, and wryly realistic portrayal of an American family’s typical Christmas joys and travails in small-town Depression-era Indiana has entered our imagination and our hearts with a force equal to It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street.This edition of A Christmas Story gathers together in one hilarious volume the gems of autobiographical humor that Jean Shepherd drew upon to create this enduring film. Here is young Ralphie Parker’s shocking discovery that his decoder ring is really a device to promote Ovaltine; his mother and father’s pitched battle over the fate of a lascivious leg lamp; the unleashed and unnerving savagery of Ralphie’s duel in the show with the odious bullies Scut Farkas and Grover Dill; and, most crucially, Ralphie’s unstoppable campaign to get Santa—or anyone else—to give him a Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle. Who cares that the whole adult world is telling him, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid”?The pieces that comprise A Christmas Story, previously published in the larger collections In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories, coalesce in a magical fashion to become an irresistible piece of Americana, quite the equal of the film in its ability to warm the heart and tickle the funny bone.From the Hardcover edition.

    So as a free update for Shopaholic fans, I have decided to share with you one of the adventures of the newly-wed Becky and Luke. I hope you enjoy it! Love Sophie xThe new Mr and Mrs Brandon are on honeymoon, and Becky has big plans! They’ve got a whole year to explore Venice, learn yoga in India, sleep in little wooden huts in South America… maybe even see penguins in the Antarctic. And of course they’ll need to buy just a few essential souvenirs along the way (everyone needs a set of Murano glass goblets, after all).They’re not just tourists, they’re travellers. Becky is sure it is just the thing that Luke needs – time to unwind. He’ll come back a changed man… with all the good bits still intact of course.But it soon becomes clear that Luke has different plans entirely. Can Becky help him let go, or will this little disagreement threaten their whole honeymoon?

    A Valentine's Day short story from the Chocolate Lover's gang.

    She’s twenty eight, owns a bookstore, and is one determined, control freak of a woman. She’s decided to take the entire weekend off to have some fun. Except Anabel’s unapologetically single and perfectly uncomplicated life is suddenly upside down with problems! The cheating love of her life is back in town. Her family is meddling in her personal business. An adulterous wife of a good friend has gone missing. She’s been targeted for death by a homicidal serial rapist. An evil aunt has gone fanatic. Her sociopathic cousin has stolen her gun. The macho police chief is driving her nuts. And one not-too-tall, deliciously dark, and definitely not handsome stranger is enticing her to break all her ironclad rules on dating in the most intriguing of ways. Strange things are happening in Northfield, Minnesota. But Anabel’s never met the challenge she won’t stare in the eye while daintily spitting sideways in the dirt. Will Anabel begin to believe that life is never simple, some rules are meant to be broken, and a certain mesmerizing complication may be worth the trouble--even if it kills her? (Adult Content)

    The second addition to the Clients From Hell series taps freelance veterans for even more material. Interviews, resources, and particularly poignant tales of client insanity are all included alongside the fan-favourite anecdotes of freelancing dysfunction.For the first time, Clients From Hell takes a step back from finger-pointing and clever name-calling to inform the audience of how to make it as a creative professional. Step one: buy this book. Step two: take heed of these cautionary tales. Step three: we haven't thought of a step three yet. We'll worry about that when revisions come around.Anyone who has ever worked with clients may find these tales frighteningly familiar. New freelancers may think twice about their chosen profession - or at least find relief in the fact that they're not alone in absurd client interactions.And the rest of you? You can just laugh and enjoy your day job.

    She is our new Erma Bombeck!" —Elizabeth Boyle, New York Times best-selling author~As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.In Don't Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the bizarre aspects of parenting in her edgy, honest voice. She explores the hazards of everyday life with children such as:•The birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied.•The time she discovered her twins carving their names into her minivan's paint with rocks.•The funeral she officiated for "Stripper Barbie."•The horror of glitter.And much more!A delayed encounter with postpartum depression helps Shirtliffe to realize that even if she can't teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she's a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for her twins' college, eh, therapy fund. And possibly her own. Crisply written, Don't Lick the Minivan will have parents laughing out loud and nodding in agreement. Shirtliffe's memoir might not replace a therapist, but it is a lot cheaper.

     At 7,600 words, this work is a collection of humorous insights into important topics ranging from annoying pet people (“I’m Not Talking About You, Of Course”), to analyzing your inner child (“Irrational Fears”), to living like the Amish in the aftermath of a hurricane (“A Jolt of Electricity”). Other essays examine just how much damage can be caused by a sneeze (“It All Started with a Loud Sneeze”), why it is so complicated to buy a tube of toothpaste (“Ask Me No Questions”), how not to prepare dinner ("Martha, I Let You Down"), making new friends ("Friends in Low Places"), how a parent’s obsessive hobbies can become an inescapable vortex (“Crazy Hobbies”), and why spending the night in a sleep clinic is like being abducted by probing aliens (“Nightmare at the Sleep Clinic”). If you don’t see yourself in each of these entertaining essays, then I’m not talking about you, of course.

    Her brave, witty memoir gives readers a rare, honest glimpse into the hidden world of lasers and razors. It begins in childhood, when Altman discovers that hair sometimes grows in unexpected places -- and that it's best to remove it immediately, or risk ridicule from 8th-grade girls. It continues into early adulthood, when romantically-inclined men make offhand remarks about her fine coating of fur. From there it's a hilarious, heartfelt journey from Barcelona to Bangkok in search of a cure, an explanation, and the perfect pair of tweezers.After graduating from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism, Mara Altman worked as a staff writer for The Village Voice until 2007. In 2009, HarperCollins published Altman's first book, Thanks For Coming: A Young Woman's Quest for an Orgasm, which was optioned as a comedy series by HBO. She has also written for New York Magazine and The New York Times.Cover design by Adil Dara Kim. Cover photograph by Christopher Lane.

     What begins as a run of the mill, albeit tasty, assignment turns into something much more dangerous when one of the Cookie Jar’s employees is poisoned. Now Kat is chasing the biggest story of her life, while trying to catch the eye of her handsome editor and avoid becoming the killer’s next victim. A cozy novella: approximately 44,000 words