That is what troubles animal-phobic, robotics engineer Smith who just got married. He learns that his bride’s dream is to have a farm where there are lots of animals and she can rescue ex-race horses to retrain and find them new homes. But according to a Meyers-Briggs Personality Test that they took for fun, their marriage is doomed. There is only one problem: the newlyweds took the test after the wedding. Whether Smith is chasing a cow named Pork Chop through the woods with a rope, getting locked in a tack room by the family pony, being snubbed by his wife’s dog, or unsuccessfully trying to modernize their barn using the latest technology, the odds are stacked against him. It seems like everything with four legs is out to get him. Will the animals win, forcing Smith to admit defeat, or will he fight to keep his family and the farm together? Enjoy the true, warm, and frequently hilarious stories of Smith’s journey along the bumpy road from his urban robotics lab to a new life on a rural Virginia farm.

    And to poets, in particular, these enigmatic creatures are the most delightful and beguiling of muses (Charles Baudelaire: “the sole source of amusement in one’s lodgings”) as they go about purring, prowling, hunting, playing, meowing, and napping, often oblivious to their so-called masters (Jorge Luis Borges: “you live in other time, lord of your realm—a world as closed and separate as a dream”).Cat Poems offers a litter of odes to our beloved felines by Charles Baudelaire, Stevie Smith, Christopher Smart, Denise Levertov, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Rainer Maria Rilke, Muriel Spark, William Carlos Williams, Ezra Pound, and many others.

    Kliban’s Cat, All I Need to Know I Learned from My Cat, and Bad Cat, comes a new book that answers the question all cat lovers ask: How do I make my cat like me?97 Ways to Make a Cat Like You is the perfect interactive guide to these mysterious, fickle, seemingly aloof—yet really, just particular—pets. Paired with a full-color photograph of friendly, extroverted, happy cats (in case you’ve forgotten what a cat looks like when he “likes” you), the 97 inspired, occasionally silly but always behaviorally-based tips and tricks prove that when a cat is treated right, he or she will respond in kind. Within reason. There’s the “Eye on the Ball”—record a tennis match or a Ping-Pong game on TV to play back for your cat when he needs a bit of exercise. “Cat Burrito”—wrap your cat in a towel, burrito-style, which is particularly good for anxious pets or trips to the vet. The “Boing, Boing!”—wind pipe cleaners around a pencil in a spiral shape to create springs. Carefully slide off the pencil so the spirals go “boing” when pressed. The classic “Tickle, Tickle”—tickle Kitty under her chin and softly say “gitchy, gitchy, gitchy” in your highest-pitched voice. And for the cat owner willing to go the distance, the “There’s No Business Like Show Business”—practice your best Ethel Merman by belting out favorite show tunes for your cat. Kitty won’t care if you’re off-key and she’ll enjoy the stimulation.

    She hasn't laid eyes on her great aunt Abigail since she was eight, so she’s stumped when she inherits Abgail's house in the small hamlet of Alpine Grove.Kat's uncomplicated life gets decidedly less so when she discovers the inheritance comes with some hairy conditions: four dogs and five cats that her aunt wanted her to love as her own. Of course, the house smells like a barn--with a touch of antique skunk--and, naturally, has serious roof issues. And that's before the three-legged cat gets stuck in the wall and the shower goes kablooey.When Kat meets Joel, an unemployed techie type with no love lost for his sister, Kat looks past his obvious flaws, given his timely and desirable skill set: a talent for fixing things (and his own tools).Despite out-of-control dogs, cat fights, dust dinosaurs, massive spiders and an old grizzled hippie passed out in the yard, Kat discovers the tranquility of the forests of Alpine Grove starting to seep into her soul.And why she can't she stop thinking about Joel?

    you can persuade anyone. This is the essential guide to getting your way. Jay Heinrichs, award-winning author of Thank You for Arguing and advisor to the Pentagon, NASA and Fortune 500 companies, distils a lifetime of negotiating and rhetoric to show you how to win over anyone - from colleagues and bosses, to friends and partners at home (and even the most stubborn of feline adversaries).You'll learn to:Perfect your timing - learn exactly when to pounceGet your body language, tone and gesture just rightThink about what your opponent wants - always offer a comfy lapLure them in by making them think they have the powerThe result? A happy, hopefully scratch-free, resolution.'Jay Heinrichs knows a thing or two about arguing' The Times'A master rhetorician and persuasion guru' Salon'You got a bunch of logical engineers to inject pathosinto their arguments ... it works!' NASA engineer

    I’m an almost-ex-wife, and former full-time mom who works part-time at the local yarn store. The biggest mystery I’ve ever solved is finding a missing knitting needle tucked behind my ear after spending all morning looking for it. Someone in Harmony Lake is trying to stitch me up for murder.In a small town where everyone has a secret they want to keep hidden, no one is talking to the out-of-town cop who’s been brought in to solve the case. So, armed with everything I’ve learned from watching murder mysteries on TV, and a little help from my friends, it’s up to me to find the real killer and clear my name. Can I knit the clues together and expose the killer before they unravel and kill again? I hope so, because knitting needles aren't allowed in prison, and I look horrible in orange.If you like your cozy mysteries with a bit of humour, small town Canadian life, a hint of romance, a close circle of quirky, lovable characters that you wish you knew in real life, dogs and cats, and free knitting patterns, there's something in this series for you.Clean read: no graphic violence, sex, or strong language.Each ebook includes a link to a free knitting pattern at the end of the book.Included stories: Knit One Murder Two, Killer Cables, and Murder & MerinoDownload The Knitorious Murder Mystery Books 1 - 3 and start unravelling the mysteries in three entertaining cozy mysteries today!Read FREE on Kindle Unlimited

    Playful categories including "bowties," "surprise!," and "happy cats" showcase all the charm and delightful quirks of the wide world of cats. This is a gift that will have feline fans smiling in recognition, surprise, and appreciation.--chroniclebooks.com

    Humans have proved this by worshipping them as gods since the days of Ancient Egypt. But despite their clear superiority, felines continue to be frustrated with humans' bizarre actions and incomprehensible desires — until now. In The Cat's Guide to Human Behavior, the great feline humanologist Professor F.L. Uffy advises cats on how to solve some of their most difficult human-related issues:• Chase away your human's romantic partners• Increase your food supply• And more!What does your cat REALLY think of you? The Cat's Guide to Human Behavior reveals all--even why you refuse to groom yourself with your tongue!

    Dog Shaming:now for Cats! Cat Shaming is a humorous book filled with pictures of unapologetic, darling cats that are being shamed for their misdeeds.What happens when your cat makes a mistake like ruining something valuable or going outside the litter box?  You can't ground or take away their allowance when your cat gets in trouble.  So what is the next best thing?  Cat Shaming!  Cat Shaming is a hilarious collection of photos from owners who express their frustration when their furry best friend does something bad.  Millions of cat owners can relate to the antics of these felines while the picture shows a shamed but adorable, innocent looking kitty.

    I Did. Now What?! Now it's time for her to write about the real love of her life: Wendell. Her dog.*Do you talk about your dog non-stop? *Do you suspect your dog is a genius? *Do you name each of your dog's toys?*Does your dog get more heavy petting than your spouse? *Do all holidays revolve around your dog? If any of these scenarios sound familiar, you probably have a healthy admiration for your dog. But if all of the scenarios in What Wendell Wants sound familiar, well, it's obvious that your appreciation of your pooch has truly crossed the line into true love--dysfunctional, sure, but who cares?! Jenny Lee knows this obsession inside and out, and her advice is not to fight it: there's simply no cure. Instead, she offers hysterical accounts of her own experiences--from fretting over her dog's haircut to getting his portrait painted a la Picasso to trying desperately to impress the Bed & Biscuit dog kennel--to give all kindred dog-loving spirits out there some consolation that they're not alone.From the Hardcover edition.

    But why is it taking him so long to find a new owner? Join him on his adventure as he tries to find out. Perfect for bedtime reading and early readers, this delightful story introduces the incredibly cute puppy, Sammy The Sheep Dog. With beautiful illustrations by Gill Dallowe on every page, filled with fun and drama, this story will be a hit with all children who love animals.

     Cool cat sleuths find clues as intoxicating as catnip, and help 1920s detectives solve crimes without missing a nap. In Meow Baby, a pregnant woman disappears and Grace and Jack discover a skeleton that carries the secrets of the heart that once beat within it. In Cupake Kitty, when a singer at their engagement party dies, Grace and Jack follow the trail of a bootlegger's dame to TiaJuana. EXCERPT: Magical white cat Tatania became impatient with her humans. She could smell a succulent sea bass on the other side of the door. To encourage her humans to open it, she meowed. Zeus, her black and white feline companion, responded to her meow by putting his paws over his head and his rear end up in the air. "How would you feel about spending a lot of time with me?" Jack asked. "I feel like I already have," Grace said. "It only gets better." He held up her hand and admired the emerald and diamond ring he'd bought her at Jessop & Sons jewelers last month. "Marry me?" "Of course." He opened the door to the Hotel del Coronado's Crown Room. A band played the Charleston. In the corner of the dance floor, there was an ice sculpture of two magnificent cats. "What's going on?" "Our engagement party." "Why were you so sure I'd say yes?" "I'm arrogant." In Meow or Never, they rush to find a wealthy stockbroker's missing wife. EXCERPT: Cats truly live their nine lives at night. Zeus, a cute and mischievous tomcat, kept following the tide in and out, letting the water sprinkle his nose, and acting surprised when the tide chased him back to the shore. Wet, he shook like a puppy. Then, he sniffed each front paw carefully. Tatania looked away. She was terribly fond of Zeus. But sometimes, he was a tad unseemly. He scampered exitedly towards their favorite humans, a slender woman in a sparkling dress, and a muscular man with black hair and skin kissed brown by the sun. Zeus rolled around on the sand. Maybe he had dog blood in him. Tatania shuddered at the thought of that mating. In Catty Corner, when an art heist happens during Grace and Jack's rooftop cocktail party, the cool cats pounce on the trail of a collector who finds art as intoxicating as catnip. EXCERPT:"Where have you been all my life?" A grey haired man asked a young flapper. "I don't think I was alive for half of it," she replied, blowing smoke from a six inch rhinestone cigarette holder. The Cool Cat Mystery Series can be read in any order. If you'd like to know the chronological order of the series, here it is for you: **Splendid Summer **Emeralds, Diamonds, and Amethysts **Cher Ami **Available exclusively in Grace, Jack & Magical Cats Boxed Set Vol I Meow Baby Cupcake Kitty Meow or Never Catty Corner Cat Dance 9 Lives to Live MEWOW The Fur Will Fly Right Meow

    School is for dogs, his mama tells him. It's where they go to get trained. But nothing can stop Skippy-once inside his closet, he finds himself on the playground of his imagination, surrounded by dogs of all kinds. He bays with the beagles, learns French with the poodles, and checks out a Chihuahua book from the library. And when a bully starts sending shiver-itos down the spines of the little yippers, Skippy saves the day and earns the biggest gold star.

    The author "discovered" the feline world's best-kept secret in a file hidden on his mother's computer by her cat, Cleo, and now shares it with humanity for the first time. Topics covered range from avoiding visits to the vet, to the artful display of captured prey, to getting in the way of a human trying to read anything, including this paragraph. Upon publication, Cleo denied authorship and hired a team of lawyers, all of whom have their claws out, but despite her best efforts the word is spreading: The Cat Manual is hilarious for cat-lovers of all ages. From the author of Cave Passages and Dark Life.

    But don't worry, no dogs die at the end of THIS book! (Unlike some other books about yellow Labs)Aren't you tired of reading books about vampires? Wouldn't a book about a zombie puppy be more interesting? Yeah, I thought so too. I guess I'll have to work on that for the next book. In the meantime, here's a book about a dog named Jack.