If you've made the promise to cut back or have rules regarding when or how much you're going to drink, then this book will address why those seemingly clear lines in the sand are always crossed. Alcohol is SH!T will provide you with the foundation to move forward in life without alcohol through: Showing the reader how alcohol is the most addictive and dangerous drug on the planet Debunking myths surrounding alcohol such as alcohol doesn't relax you but slows down faculties in the brain and body Demonstrating how to formally say goodbye to alcohol, so both the conscious and unconscious mind are on the same page Shining the light on the primordial addiction: thinking Empowering the reader with the understanding that quitting drinking isn't a sacrifice, but the OPPORTUNITY of a lifetime Informing readers that an alcohol-free life isn't a "no" to alcohol, but a "yes" to a better life and this path can be a lot of fun Educating readers on where and how to start recovering the person you were always meant to be With lightheartedness, clarity, and no BS, Alcohol is SH!T will allow the reader to remove the fog created by alcohol and provide them with the tools necessary to quit drinking. Follow the advice in this book, and your new life awaits — one filled with inner peace, self-compassion, and an abundance of joy. Within the first couple of pages, the reader will begin to feel a weight lifting, and for probably the first time, will know what role alcohol is playing in their lives. What's stopping you from stepping into your new life? Scroll to the top and click the "buy now" button.

    Byrne’s own wit, diligent research, and creativity combine to form a fresh go-to reference that serves readers better than Google—no Wi-Fi required. The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said is an all-new collection of clever quips and laugh-out-loud punch lines from Gracie Allen to Frank Zappa, on such topics as sex, divorce, religion, fashion, animals, and money: STEVE MARTIN: “I’d do anything for a good body except exercise and eat right.” JON STEWART: “War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.” NORA EPHRON: “Successful parents have adult children who can pay for their own psychoanalysis.” This compilation, to be enjoyed by generations young and old, deserves a place of honor on every language lover’s bookshelf.

    Richman--the basis of the Saturday Night Live "Coffee Talk" character developed by her son-in-law, Mike Myers--makes it her mission to get everyone to shake off the blues and make their way back into the world.

    This is a journey which takes him across the world and back to a triumphant homecoming in Liverpool. But despite the laughs, the real journey in this tale takes him all the way - from a boy to a man.

    So which does he choose? Despite his love of basalt, he chooses the career that teaches him how to kill... and sh*t in plastic bags.Knowing his weak body will have to shape up to complete thirty weeks of commando training, Mark prepares for the Royal Marines by sleeping in his shed wearing only plastic bags. He braves pain by ordering his mate to attack him while trapped in a sleeping bag. He starves himself in a stupid urban survival exercise, turning down the offer of crispy pancakes from his bewildered mother.He is ready.Some might say for the nut house...Often hilarious and yet shockingly sobering, this is the true story of a boy who joins one of the world's most elite military units with only naivety and incompetence equalling his will to succeed.'A cover to cover laughathon' - SOLDIER MAGAZINE

    These workplace disasters bring out the voyeurism, Schadenfreude, and plain old warped sense of humor in all of us. And so . . . from my naïve colleague who called our CEO a dildo, to the employee caught on videotape licking door handles in the company parking garage, their stories must be told! “...the entertainment factor is consistent and the laughs should come easily for readers who fancy the awkwardness of workplace weirdness... Ideal for readers who need a refresher course on the consequences of impropriety.” - Kirkus Reviews

    In this collection of twisted takes on life, the Kinkster gives us funny, irreverent, and insightful looks at outsized personalities, from people he's known -- Bill Clinton and George W. to Willie Nelson and Bob Dylan, not to mention Joseph Heller and Don Imus -- to people he's known in spirit -- Moses, Jesus, Jack Ruby, and Hank Williams. With his meditations on subjects ranging from sleeping at the White House to marriage, his pets, fishing in Borneo, country music, cigars, and the tribulations of possessing talent, Kinky doesn't deny us the "flashes of brilliance and laugh-out-loud observations"* that are present in all his other work.Hilarious and irreverent, and passionately twisted, 'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out reads as if it were written by a slightly ill modern-day Mark Twain.*Rocky Mountain News (Denver)

    In other words, she’s got it all. Who Peed on My Yoga Mat? peels back the curtain on family life to show that happiness is really a matter of perspective. Between watching adorably annoying toddlers transform into text-obsessed teens, and facing inevitable moments of marital “for worse,” a girl’s got to carve out time for inner peace. As she did in Blacklisted from the PTA, Davidson shows us once again that laughing at yourself and your family is the surest path to tranquility–or at least the most fun.

    But instead he woke up one day to find himself fired from his radio job, surrounded by feral cats, and emotionally and financially annihilated by a divorce from a woman he thought he loved. He tried to heal his broken heart through whatever means he could find—minor-league hoarding, Viagra addiction, accidental racial profiling, cat fancying, flying airplanes with his mind—but nothing seemed to work. It was only when he was stripped down to nothing that he found his way back.Attempting Normal is Marc Maron’s journey through the wilderness of his own mind, a collection of explosively, painfully, addictively funny stories that add up to a moving tale of hope and hopelessness, of failing, flailing, and finding a way. From standup to television to his outrageously popular podcast, WTF with Marc Maron, Marc has always been a genuine original, a disarmingly honest, intensely smart, brutally open comic who finds wisdom in the strangest places. This is his story of the winding, potholed road from madness and obsession and failure to something like normal, the thrillingly comic journey of a sympathetic f***up who’s trying really hard to do better without making a bigger mess. Most of us will relate.

     Men are weird and can behave like apes. A man can change his mind overnight and lose interest, just like that. I wrote this book to share the hard truth with you, so you can 'see' and understand why he does what he does. You’ll learn: - What goes on inside a man’s mind…and how attraction works for him - The 7 dangerous mistakes most women make with men - How you can use his “animal brain” to create natural and lasting attraction - What makes men cheat or look at other women - The 3 characteristics every man looks for in a woman - How to make him think “she’s mine, I want her!” - The one big mistake that instantly makes him lose physical attraction - What makes men seem emotionally unavailable - The crucial difference between emotional and physical attraction - and much more. Are you ready to go inside the male mind?

    Its simple message of 100% responsibility, repentance, and gratitude has been changing the lives of all it touches. Originally practiced by the native Hawaiians Ho’oponopono was primarily a group based ceremony, used to solve community based problems, and disputes and it has ties and similarities to many indigenous shamanic practices found throughout the world.The Ancient Hawaiians understood the power of the mind. Centuries before mainstream science they identified the distinction between the Conscious, Subconscious, and Super-Conscious minds, and the part they play in forming our present day circumstances.This knowledge was considered so important that they built their whole belief system Huna (The Secret) around it..So what exactly is Ho’oponopono? Is it really so easy? Does it work? Why does it work? How do you do it? What can it do for me?This book will answer these questions and many more, examining its origins, development, and the philosophy that underpins it.It will provide you with all the knowledge and information you need, guiding you through the Ho’oponopono process step by step with sample mantras so you can begin practising right away.We’ll look at why this deceptively easy, but extremely powerful process, is changing the lives of all it touches.And show you how it can change yours too...

     Alison wants to be living a fabulous life filled with myriad social engagements. She just also wants to not shower, put on a bra or leave the house. Plus, she dislikes dancing, the Fourth of July and costume parties that involve skimpy attire. Basically, if it’s fun, count her out, which is too bad, since she so desperately wants you to think she’s fun. "Tropical Attire Encouraged” came to be on her birthday a few years ago, when her husband, Daniel Quantz, presented her with a hand-bound book of her columns from the first year she was syndicated. He worked late at his office to keep it a surprise. At the top of each one, he included a hand-drawn illustration. Daniel told her he made it because he wanted her to know he believed in her and felt she should be published in book form. Also because one year she gave him an over-the-cabinet-door organizer, and he wanted her to really know—like, on a visceral level—just how crappy her gift was in comparison. (He didn’t say this, but it was implied.)

    

    There are treatments available that can halt, and in some cases, even reverse the aging process.But how do you know what treatments are best for you? Which of the hippest, hottest, and newest are fabulously effective and which are nothing more than new-age snake oil? Let us be your guides. Dr. and Mrs. Guinea Pig Present The Only Guide You'll Ever Need to the Best Anti-Aging Treatments will outline all the best techniques and treatments, from the so-new-you-haven t-heard-of-them-yet to the tried-and-true; from the perfectly legal to the are-you-trying-to-get-me-arrested; from the simple to the outrageous; and from the cheapest drugstore creams to the most complicated surgeries. We will provide you with the information and research you need to create your own, unique anti-aging plan to look and feel your best forever!"

    It also contains material from the BBC archives and reveals how the show was rejected when it was first offered to the BBC, how David Jason nearly missed out on the starring role and the tragedy of the death of one of its stars during filming.Steve Clark was the only author on set for the filming of Only Fools and Horses, spin-off The Green Green Grass and prequel Rock & Chips and his book gives a fascinating and unique insight into this legendary series. Dragon's Den star Theo Paphitis a long-time fan of the series - has written a foreword to the book, which also includes rare photographs and other exclusive material.