Screw Calm and Get Angry


Andrews McMeel Publishing - 2010
    You may very well find that getting frustrated and enraged might be the only way to get things changed around here.To help you achieve a new state of mild motivation, Screw Calm and Get Angry brings together several centuries of embattled and embittered epithets. It would seem that across the world and across the centuries, there is plenty of evidence to suggest you're not alone in bemoaning the way the odds are stacked:* On Politics: "The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly,' meaning 'many,' and the word 'ticks,' meaning 'blood sucking parasites.'" --Larry Hardiman* On Work: "By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day." --Robert Frost* On Money: "The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any." --Katherine Whitehorn* On Business: "Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it, and that's true anywhere in the world." --Andrew Young* On War: "You can't say civilization don't advance...for in every war they kill you a new way." --Will Rogers* On Life: "If you wake up and you're not in pain, you know you're dead." --Russian proverbA parody of the famed Keep Calm and Carry On British motivational poster, and featuring the same successful format as our best-selling Keep Calm and Carry On book, Screw Calm and Get Angry is destined to be the motivational mantra for the realists of the world!

300 Best Jokes: One-Liners and Funny Short Stories Collection (Donald's Humor Factory Book 1)


Donald Shaw - 2017
    Looking for Something New and Really Funny? Imagine you can get it with JUST ONE CLICK! Yes, this is a JOKE BOOK of your dreams. Vol.1 of the Donald's Humor Factory series. This super funny adult joke book is free of swear words. Donald Shaw is a popular comic and an award-winning humor books author (his wife gave him a French kiss award)! His jokes are loved by thousands of people from Alaska to Zimbabwe, and possibly outside of Earth. Joking is always fun! Jokes bring smiles to people’s faces. Jokes make us laugh. People fall in love when they smile at each other. We love joking in the company of our best friends and families. Jokes help us to relax and overcome any difficulties. Joking is an awesome social skill and a great way to make new friends and to communicate nearly in any surrounding. Many people also love just to read some good jokes for amusement. However, it is not that easy to find real good jokes today. Some of them are simply out-of-date. Some of them are not clean enough. You may also find many joke books that are not really funny and contain too much fluff and advertising. This jokes book is different! Buying this humor book you will get: A great collection of 300 FUNNY JOKES One-liners, real-life awkward situations, and hilarious short stories Great book to read on a long trip Clean and dirty jokes WITHOUT nasty words Jokes for adults and teenagers Jokes about relationship, marriage, bar, professions, hobbies, etc. LIMITED TIME BONUS: the link to download my FREE HUMOR LIBRARY that includes hundreds of great jokes for kids, adults, and teenagers. So the whole family may have fun! This is no-brainer, really! This book is free of racism. I support LGBT community, because love is love. I love all people in the world and I want to make you laugh and smile! This is my ultimate goal and I did not mean to insult anyone. So relax, take it easy and enjoy this humor book! Buy this funny book NOW and roll on the floor laughing! Pick up your copy today by clicking the BUY NOW button at the top of this page!

When My Mind Wanders It Brings Back Souvenirs


Gordon Kirkland - 2005
    Kirkland is a master at finding the small hidden bits of humor in events that the rest of us might just as easily overlook. His goal with his writing has always been to let his readers laugh with him and at him, and by doing so, finding a way to laugh at themselves. His previous books have been called "a must-have for all of us who love to just sit back and laugh." This book follows that tradition.Recipient of the 2006 Stephen Leacock Award of Merit for Humour (Canada.)

I Could Pee On This: And Other Poems By Cats


Francesco Marciuliano - 2012
    In this hilarious book of tongue-in-cheek poetry, the author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behaviour to ignorant humans. With titles like Who Is That on Your Lap?, This Is My Chair, Kneel Before Me, Nudge, and Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs, the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat authors throughout, this whimsical volume reveals kitties at their wackiest, and most exasperating (but always lovable).

Don't Forget to Call Your Mama...I Wish I Could Call Mine


Lewis Grizzard - 1991
    In this book, Grizzard turns his attention to his mother, and to all mothers, casting a loving, comic eye toward the most important and defining relationship of all.

Father-ish: Tales from a Dad Fumbling His Way Through Fatherhood


Clint Edwards - 2020
    After Clint’s first collection of stories, which act as an apology to his wife (with essays taking a humorous yet critical look of his role as a husband), this natural follow up will place the author’s children at the center of the apology and recount funny and relatable tales of Clint’s various parenting fails. Stories will detail incidents of the author half surviving, half ruining birthdays, holidays, vacations and other important milestones in his children’s lives, and touchingly examine the ways he makes up for them.With this book exploring the widely universal theme of parenting, new audiences (as well as Clint’s dedicated following) will see stories as both a mirror of their own lives and a comic relief from it, and eagerly sink their teeth into this truthful and entertaining narrative. Essays include titles like, “I Changed A Friend’s Name in my Phone to Santa and Had Him Text Threats to my Children,” “Pro Tip: Pick Up The Dog Poop BeforeThe Easter Egg Hunt,” “Reasons My Children Cried At Their Own Birthday Parties,” and “I Am A Summer Scrooge.” Clint’s addicting voice, writing about being a parent around Christmas, Halloween, New Years and more, will help anyone who is a mother or father, who works with young children, is member of a large family or has ever taken care of another human being before relate to and connect with these stories.

How Sachin Destroyed My Life ...but gave me an All Access Pass to the world of cricket


Vikram Sathaye - 2014
    The book documents his incredible journey of Indian Cricket as he takes us inside dressing rooms, hotels and the inner thoughts of leading cricketers. With a foreword by Sachin Tendulkar, this book is laced with crackling humour and brimming with interesting anecdotes, insights, quotes, and candid photographs, from cricketing legends like Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid, Yuvraj Singh, Virender Sehwag, among others. This book promises to reveal many more inside secrets!

The Life of Captain Reilly 1


J.T. O'Neil - 2011
    Fatigued from overwork and dismayed by relentless cost cutting, Captain Reilly finds himself developing an unhelpful aversion to the very people who pay his salary: passengers and managers.Riding aboard a typical flight, we follow John Reilly as he struggles with the challenges facing today’s airline pilot: trying to stay awake, keeping crew food down, fending off flirtatious cabin crew and completing the crossword before landing.The Life of Captain Reilly is a shocking but hilarious tale of the low cost airline, and reveals its great secret: glamour doesn’t fly anymore.PLEASE NOTE: IF YOU HAVE A ROMANTICIZED PERCEPTION OF AIRLINE PILOTS AND COMMERCIAL AVIATION -- AND YOU WISH TO KEEP IT -- DON'T BUY THIS BOOK!ALSO, THIS IS QUITE A SHORT BOOK.

BILLOO AND COCONUT TREE


Pran Kumar Sharma - 2016
    Thus he created a boy with a long hair covering his eyes and named him BILLOO. This lanky was liked by the readers so much that the editor of the magazine asked the cartoonist to increase the episodes from one page to two. Billoo is seen roaming the streets with his pet pup - Moti. When he is at home, he is stuck to the TV.Billoo and his gang which includes Gabdu, Jozi, Mono, Bishamber etc; are at loggerheads with Bajarangi, the wrestler and his aide Dhakkan. They are always in search of some excuse to showdown each other. Jozi is friendly to Billoo, but her dad Colonel Three - not - Three doesnot like the boy and always points his gun at him. Billoo and his friends are often seen playing cricket in lanes of the block, and their score is few smashed windows.

A New Jersey Love Story 3: Bulletproof Love


Myiesha - 2016
     That is when it comes to the elusive Kitty. Once again, Kitty has managed to slip out of Camilla’s grasp. This time leaving two people, that Troy and Camilla love, fighting for their lives. Still not convinced that she has gotten her revenge for Supreme and with her partner in crime, Keyonna dead, Kitty manipulates herself a new partner who also has a score to settle with Troy and Camilla. What’s a Bonnie without her Clyde? While maintaining her home, running her daycare and finishing school, Camilla is out for blood on her one woman warpath. Convinced that the hospital has become her second home, she’s determined to protect all those she care about and take down all who has chosen to become an enemy. With her new sadistic ways of torture Camilla is proving why she’s not the one to mess with. Sometimes less is more even when it comes to family. With his family growing by the minute Troy mistakenly lets his guard down and is now forced to deal with the consequences. Troy has tried to leave the killing in the past but with his family always being a target shit might just have to get ugly one last time. Not feeling his wife acting like a lone ranger, Troy has made it his business to never be too far away. The love this duo have for each other and their family has been tested many times and has proved to be Bulletproof.

The Imperfect Bride - A Romantic Comedy


Rubina Ramesh - 2021
    She didn't want to marry the man rejected by her sister and she didn't want to go to the USA when her heart was set on going to London. But still, she gave in and did all of them. So she wanted to take one decision that was entirely hers. She wanted to divorce Kabir and go back to her village, Toosa. She does go back to Toosa, but her heart remains in Seattle, with Kabir.Kabir was engaged to one sister and now married to the other one. There is nothing he doesn't know about Ruchika. She is his best friend from first grade. He knows how utterly selfish, bird-brained, and irresponsible she is. He can’t trust her to make an omelet without burning the house down, let alone live with him in Seattle, without her family. But more than anything else, he refuses to be the second-best man in her life. So, if it was a divorce she wanted, he would damn well give her one.But could she please leave his heart behind?You do remember Nikki's sister Ruchika, don't you, from The Confused Bridegroom? Well, you guys said that she deserved a love story. You asked, and my imagination got its wings.

The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America


Matt Kracht - 2019
    Featuring 50 common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with ink drawings. Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching.

Samaritans


Jonathan Lynn - 2017
     The chairman of the board, billionaire arms dealer and part-time philanthropist David Soper, decides that it's time to kill or cure. Business School alumnus and Las Vegas hotel genius Max Green is the perfect man for the job. A man of vision. A man with a mission. A man who knows that wealth-care is smarter than healthcare. He's going to make Samaritans great again. Andrew Sharp, star cardio-thoracic surgeon, turns his back on the NHS and buys in to this brave new world of Porsches and payola. But when his American Dream turns into a living nightmare, Andrew discovers that even the new-found love of his assistant, Cathy, may not be enough to save him… Samaritans is the new novel from the co-creator and writer of Yes Minister and Yes, Prime Minister. Praise for Samaritans 'A book George Orwell would have approved of.' The Sunday Times ‘It’s wonderful! I was hooked, mouth open, heart pounding. The catastrophic state of medical care is his story but Samaritans can be read too as a wider allegory, a discourse on a politics of greed, dis-entitlement, deregulation and social brutality that has run quite mad.’ Stephen Fry ‘It is with the highest confidence that I recommend this book, with particularity, to those Members of Congress who remain committed to making access to life saving care far too difficult for far too many people. It is my fondest hope that they might laugh their way to the education they so sorely require.’ Rick Ungar ‘Jonathan Lynn tackles the US healthcare system in satirical splendour. I laughed out loud. It is both hilarious and scary at the same time! Nobody does it better.’ Barbara Broccoli 'There is reason to believe Jonathan Lynn was not born in the US and, while probably not a spy, he has spent some little time observing Americans in the wild. His observations are not always flattering—he’s talking Big Medicine, Big Insurance, Big Business and their cousin, Small Ethics—but he certainly seems to have our number. Samaritans is smart, dark, and very, very funny. Stay healthy, America!' Michael McKean, Better Call Saul, Spinal Tap ‘Jonathan Lynn's Samaritans does for hospitals what Evelyn Waugh's The Loved One did for cemeteries. The book is laugh-aloud funny, but also deadly serious--because it deals with the lethal effect profit-minded health care can have on patient lives...I haven't read satire this hilarious and powerful since Riotous Assembly, the late Tom Sharpe's indictment of apartheid in South Africa. This is essential reading for anyone who has a body and wants to keep it alive.' M.G Lord ‘Comedy genius...as politically and socially important as is it is entertaining.’ Muriel Gray Jonathan Lynn is the multi-award winning author of The Complete Yes Minister and The Complete Yes, Prime Minister, which were drawn from the phenomenally successful BBC series which he created and wrote with Antony Jay, and which sold more than a million copies in hardback.

Five Lose Dad in the Garden Centre


Bruno Vincent - 2017
    Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to show Uncle Quentin what a jolly good chap he is. Join Julian, George, Dick, Anne and Timmy the dog as they celebrate Father's Day by taking Uncle Quentin to the local garden centre to chose a new garden shed in which to conduct his experiments. But what promised to be a relaxed outing turns into a nightmare when Quentin disappears into thin air. He surely cannot have gone far . . .

Cartoons That Will Send Me Straight To Hell


Dan Collins - 2011
    He's kind to animals, loves children and helps old ladies across the street. But when he gets a pencil in his hands, he becomes a menace. No subject is too taboo. From dead kittens, to Helen Keller, to organized religion, there's no subject he won't twist. Politically correct? Dan Collins doesn't know the meaning.You've never seen cartoons like this before. This definitely isn't the Sunday funnies. Hilarious, demented and guaranteed to have you clutching your navel between gasps for air. Once you get hold of this book, you'll be convinced that this guy needs serious help before he's doomed to an eternity in hell.Check out this collection of insane cartoons and see if you're as demented as Dan Collins. If you find yourself laughing hysterically at some of the most marvelously bent cartoons ever created, plan on joining him on his decent into the inferno.From an early age Dan was heavily influenced by revolutionary comic artists such as Robert Crumb, B. Kliban, Gahan Wilson and Sam Gross. Coming from small town Ohio to Ohio State University in the early, turbulent 70's was a cultural and political awakening for him that would have a lasting impact. The Vietnam War and the counter culture revolution were the back drop from which this small town choirboy 'innocent' would pen his creations. What emerged were some of the most off the wall cartoons ever drawn.