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Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About
Mil Millington - 2003
Pel leads an uneventful life—quietly bluffing his way through his job and discovering new things to argue about with Ursula. But when his boss mysteriously disappears, Pel steps innocently into his shoes and his life spirals out of control in a chaotic whirl of stolen money, missing colleagues, and Chinese mafiosi.Its fractured thriller plot punctuated by blazingly hilarious set-piece arguments between the hapless Pel and the unflappable Ursula, Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About is a brilliant comic novel examining the unique warfare in long-term relationships.
Bill Bryson Box Set: Three Vols. A Walk In The Woods, Notes From A Big Country, Notes From A Small Island
Bill Bryson
A box set consisting of three Bill Bryson books, 'Notes from a Small Island', 'Notes from a Big Country' and 'A Walk in the Woods'.
The Tao of Martha: My Year of LIVING; Or, Why I'm Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog
Jen Lancaster - 2013
Jen’s still a little rough around the edges. Suffice it to say, she’s no Martha Stewart. And that is exactly why Jen is going to Martha up and live her life according to the advice of America’s overachieving older sister—the woman who turns lemons into lavender-infused lemonade.By immersing herself in Martha’s media empire, Jen will embark on a yearlong quest to take herself, her house, her husband (and maybe even her pets) to the next level—from closet organization to craft making, from party planning to kitchen prep.Maybe Jen can go four days without giving herself food poisoning if she follows Martha’s dictates on proper storage....Maybe she can grow closer to her girlfriends by taking up their boring-ass hobbies like knitting and sewing.…Maybe she can finally rid her workout clothes of meatball stains by using Martha’s laundry tips.… Maybe she can create a more meaningful anniversary celebration than just getting drunk in the pool with her husband....again. And maybe, just maybe, she’ll discover that the key to happiness does, in fact, lie in Martha’s perfectly arranged cupboards and artfully displayed charcuterie platters.Or maybe not.
Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly
Joseph Minton Amann - 2006
He calls for boycotting Canada, says Adolf Hitler would have been a card-carrying member of the ACLU, and thinks Hurricane Katrina victims seen carrying televisions should be shot on sight. Amann and Breuer – the creators of the hugely popular website www.sweetjesusihatebilloreilly.com — take a close look at O'Reilly's own assertions and arguments — taken from his TV and radio shows, books and columns — to expose him for what he is: a self-righteous boob and a sham newsman. The ongoing themes explored in Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly are that O'Reilly is a bit crazy, not all that sharp and, as the authors put it, about "as self-aware as a legume." The result is a hilariously funny book, a great read for anyone who enjoys seeing a puffed-up blowhard taken down a notch or two — whether they're an O'Reilly hater, fan, or something in between.
The Parrot Who Thought She Was a Dog
Nancy Ellis-Bell - 2008
And yet, it made perfect sense. A lifelong animal lover, Nancy could never turn away a stray cat, dog, squirrel, or raccoon from her California farm. But the macaw, quickly rechristened Sarah, was a whole new challenge, as Nancy, her husband, Kerry, and their furry menagerie would find out.Initially timid of her new surroundings, Sarah soon imposed her four-foot wingspan into the family homestead—first claiming the laundry basket, then conquering a prized dresser—and achieved complete household domination. Nancy couldn’t “bird-proof” the place fast enough, and it was not long before Sarah started stealing the dogs’ toys—using her enormous beak to disembowel Ben the mutt’s treasured stuffed bear—and bathing her richly hued feathers in their water bowl. She also peppered Nancy’s phone conversations with expletive-laden outbursts. There seemed no end to Sarah’s realm, nor her destruction, and it dawned on Nancy that the entire house had slowly transformed into a birdcage.On the other side of the coin, Sarah started to abandon her own raptor instincts when she discovered that dog food was pretty tasty and that she had a knack for “barking” (and a few other sounds that alarmed the neighbors). As they all learned to live together, Nancy marveled that Sarah had truly found a place to call home, but she sensed that there was something she could give Sarah to make her feel more complete: a chance to fly again.Touching, eye-opening, and laugh-out-loud funny, The Parrot Who Thought She Was a Dog is a tender tale of two worlds colliding, two lives enriched, and two souls restored. It is also a rewarding reminder that love can come from the most unexpected places.From the Hardcover edition.
You’ve Got To Laugh: Stories from a Life Lived to the Full
Alison Hammond
. .' Alison Hammond loves to laugh. And the nation laughs with her. Her sunny personality and zest for life have brought joy to millions and made her one of the UK's best-loved television presenters. Known for her hilarious and unforgettable interviews with Hollywood A-listers, Alison is also responsible for countless classic moments of broadcasting gold - from getting stuck on a caravan door to delivering Christmas cash dressed as an elf. But who is Alison Hammond really, and how did she become the personality we know and love? Shaped by the influence of her incredible mum, Alison went from small roles on television shows as a youngster to that life-changing appearance on Big Brother, before landing her dream job on This Morning. And through it all, she found the joy in every day, the positives in any situation. You've Got to Laugh gives a never-before-seen insight into Alison's life: her loves, her losses - with a side order of gossip. As well as being a hugely entertaining and uplifting read, Alison's story will inspire you to grab life with both hands and make the most of every single moment. 'Interviewer extraordinaire, reigning queen of the huns, and an out-and-out national treasure' Bustle
97 Ways to Make a Cat Like You
Carol Kaufmann - 2015
Kliban’s Cat, All I Need to Know I Learned from My Cat, and Bad Cat, comes a new book that answers the question all cat lovers ask: How do I make my cat like me?97 Ways to Make a Cat Like You is the perfect interactive guide to these mysterious, fickle, seemingly aloof—yet really, just particular—pets. Paired with a full-color photograph of friendly, extroverted, happy cats (in case you’ve forgotten what a cat looks like when he “likes” you), the 97 inspired, occasionally silly but always behaviorally-based tips and tricks prove that when a cat is treated right, he or she will respond in kind. Within reason. There’s the “Eye on the Ball”—record a tennis match or a Ping-Pong game on TV to play back for your cat when he needs a bit of exercise. “Cat Burrito”—wrap your cat in a towel, burrito-style, which is particularly good for anxious pets or trips to the vet. The “Boing, Boing!”—wind pipe cleaners around a pencil in a spiral shape to create springs. Carefully slide off the pencil so the spirals go “boing” when pressed. The classic “Tickle, Tickle”—tickle Kitty under her chin and softly say “gitchy, gitchy, gitchy” in your highest-pitched voice. And for the cat owner willing to go the distance, the “There’s No Business Like Show Business”—practice your best Ethel Merman by belting out favorite show tunes for your cat. Kitty won’t care if you’re off-key and she’ll enjoy the stimulation.
Medicine Men: Extreme Appalachian Doctoring
Carolyn Jourdan - 2012
National bestseller "Medicine Men" follows the beloved #1 bestselling "Heart in the Right Place". This is a collection of the most memorable moments from more than a dozen rural physicians who each practiced medicine for more than 50 years in the Southern Appalachian Mountains from 1930-2012. Hilarious, heroic, true stories of miracle cures, ghost dogs, and much madcap medical mayhem. Unimaginably funny and touching situations where men with nerves of steel and hearts of gold get stuck between a rock and a hard place in the Smoky Mountains. These men are saints who walk among us and Jourdan's father is one of them. Jourdan's work is often compared to James Herriot and Bill Bryson. This story collection is like "All Creatures Great and Small" but with people instead of animals or vingnettes from country doctors who took "A Walk in the Woods".Jourdan's first book is on hundreds of lists of best books of the year, best book club books, and funniest books. "Heart in the Right Place" was chosen as Family Circle magazine's first ever Book of the Month, won the Elle magazine Reader's Prize, named a Wall Street Journal Nonfiction Bestseller and ranked #1 on Amazon in Biography, Memoir, Science, and Medicine.
You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas
Augusten Burroughs - 2009
With gimleteyed wit and illuminated prose, Augusten shows how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very, very best.You better not cry --And two eyes made out of coal --Claus and effect --Ask again later --Why do you reward me thus --The best and only everything --Silent night
Everybody Died, So I Got a Dog
Emily Dean - 2019
It was never home for the dog Emily craved. Emily shared the lively chaos with her beloved older sister Rachael, her rock. Over the years the sisters bond grew ever closer. As Rachael went on to have the cosy family and treasured dog, Giggle, Emily threw herself into unsettled adventure - dog ownership remaining a distant dream. Then, tragically, Rachael is diagnosed with cancer. In just three devastating years Emily loses not only her sister but both her parents as well. This is the funny heart-breaking, wonderfully told story of how Emily discovers that it is possible to overcome the worst that life can throw at you, that it's never too late to make peace with your past, and that the right time is only ever now, as she finally starts again with her very own dog - the adorable Shih-tzu named Raymond.
The Midnight Plan of the Repo Man
W. Bruce Cameron - 2014
It's suspenseful, action-packed, romantic, and above all, truly funny. I loved it.”—Nelson DeMille, New York Times bestselling authorRuddy McCann, former college football star, has experienced a seismic drop in popularity; he is now Kalkaska, Michigan’s full-time repo man and part-time bar bouncer. His best friend is his low-energy Basset hound Jake, with whom he shares a simple life of stealing cars.Simple, that is, until Ruddy starts hearing a voice in his head.The voice introduces himself as Alan Lottner, a dead realtor. Ruddy isn’t sure if Alan is real, or if he’s losing his mind. To complicate matters, it turns out Katie, the girl he’s fallen for, is Alan’s daughter.When Alan demands Ruddy find his murderers, Ruddy decides a voice in your head seeking vengeance is best ignored. When Alan also demands he clean up his act, and apartment, Ruddy tells him to back off, but where can a voice in your head go?With a sweet romance, a murder mystery, a lazy but loyal dog and a town full of cabin-fevered characters you can’t help but love, New York Times bestselling novelist W. Bruce Cameron’s The Midnight Plan of the Repo Man is yet another laugh-out-loud, keep-you-up-late, irresistible read.
Clients From Hell 2: A collection of anonymously-contributed client horror stories from designers (Clients From Hell: A collection of anonymously-contributed client horror stories from designers)
Bryce Bladon - 2012
The second addition to the Clients From Hell series taps freelance veterans for even more material. Interviews, resources, and particularly poignant tales of client insanity are all included alongside the fan-favourite anecdotes of freelancing dysfunction.For the first time, Clients From Hell takes a step back from finger-pointing and clever name-calling to inform the audience of how to make it as a creative professional. Step one: buy this book. Step two: take heed of these cautionary tales. Step three: we haven't thought of a step three yet. We'll worry about that when revisions come around.Anyone who has ever worked with clients may find these tales frighteningly familiar. New freelancers may think twice about their chosen profession - or at least find relief in the fact that they're not alone in absurd client interactions.And the rest of you? You can just laugh and enjoy your day job.
Drinking with George: A Barstool Professional's Guide to Beer
George Wendt - 2009
A homage to beer by Cheers actor and beer connoisseur George Wendt, better known as Norm Peterson.
The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America
Matt Kracht - 2019
Featuring 50 common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with ink drawings. Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching.
Donkey Work
Doreen Tovey - 1962
Not so for Doreen and her husband Charles, who decide to take on a baby donkey to keep the nettles under control in the orchard. When Annabel clip-clops into their lives they realize that, from the ear-splitting nocturnal howling to the numerous escape attempts, living with a donkey won't be plain sailing. Annabel eats everything apart from the nettles, but eventually becomes a much-loved family member and particularly close to Solomon, the Siamese cat, who sleeps in her bed. Further dramas ensue when Henry, the jennet, is introduced as a companion to Annabel and love blossoms.