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I Think the Nurses are Stealing My Clothes: The Very Best of Linda Smith
Warren Lakin - 2006
Her voice lit up Radio 4's News Quiz, she was brilliant on QI and she tirelessly travelled the UK as one of the most respected and loved comics on the circuit.' STEPHEN FRYStephen Fry spoke for much of middle England when he responded to the news of Linda Smith's tragic death of cancer, aged 48, earlier this year. Linda was the brilliant mainstay of Radio 4's The News Quiz, Just a Minute, and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue for many years. She was just establishing her career on TV through blistering performances on Have I Got News for You, QI and Room 101, when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.Linda was one of the few women to conquer the male dominated world of comedy and she had the wit and the charm to win over millions of male and female fans in equal measure. She had an eye for the absurdities of modern life and loved to prick the egos of the pompous and the vain. She could be savage about the people she despised too. When she spoke of the "dead devil-eyes of Nicky Campbell" she meant it. When she called David Mellor, "the thinking woman's fat ugly bastard", she meant it even more. When she called David Blunkett "Satan's bearded folk singer", it was a simple statement of fact. No wonder then Linda was voted the 'wittiest person alive' by Radio 4 listeners in 2002.In this brilliant anthology, we go right back to the start of Linda's career and re-live her very best material from the picket lines of the Miners' Strike, to the Edinburgh Festival and on to her mainstream success on BBC radio and TV, and as touring comedian loved up and down the country. The Very Best of Linda Smith is being compiled and edited by her partner of twenty-three years, Warren Lakin. The book also carries contributions from her extensive fan club including: Paul Merton, Graham Norton, Clive Anderson, Bill Bailey, Jo Brand, Alan Davies, Jack Dee, Dawn French, Stephen Fry, Tony Hawks, Eddie Izzard, Matt Lucas, Nicholas Parsons and Alexei Sayle amongst others. It will be the must-have gift for comedy fans and Radio 4 listeners this Christmas.
Confessions of an Air Ambulance Doctor
Tony Bleetman - 2013
The first of its kind to carry doctors and surgeons who can take the hospital to the patient. Drug addicts, lorry crashes, open-heart surgery, stab wounds, headless chickens, mating llamas, and strip routines - it's all in a day's work for emergency doctor Tony Bleetman and his team.Whether they are landing in the middle of the M1 or at a maximum security jail, Tony and his crew Helimed 999 are the first on the scene in the most critical of emergencies.This gripping read will make you laugh, cry and marvel at the wonders of life (and death) in equal measure.
The World's Stupidest Signs
Bryony Evens - 2000
On a cruise ship - Please do not lean on the widow. In a hotel - A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but not trousers. In a London department store - Bargain basement upstairs.
Lawyer X: A True Story
Jake Banks - 2015
A bright, young Texas lawyer determined to make it on his own leaves the DA's Office to pursue a career as a criminal defense attorney. Just months later, he finds himself at the center of an international Ecstasy drug trafficking ring. As a charismatic negotiator, Lawyer X ignores danger and resurrects a deal gone bad. Caught red-handed in Paris, France, he lands in prison indefinitely. Isolated from his culture and marked as l'Américain, he is focused on staying alive at a time when Anglo – Franco relations are at an all time low. Facing years in French prison and multiple life terms in the United States, Lawyer X must protect his best friend’s innocence and salvage his own dignity. His mentor, a legendary Dallas attorney, fights to keep him from becoming a casualty in the War on Drugs. A TRUE STORY Hardcover available in 2016
Florida Authentica: Your field guide to the unique, eccentric, and natural marvels of the real Sunshine State
Ron Wiggins - 2012
52 Adventures into the Sunshine State by humor columnist Ron Wiggins.With pluck, derring do, occasional trepidation and an infectious sense of humor, Wiggins takes Floridians and visitors alike on a rollicking romp into the state's parks, wetlands and historical sites that will have readers eager to plan their own outings.
The Sty's the Limit: When Middle Age Gets Mucky
Simon Dawson - 2015
Simon's self-sufficient rural life is an inspiration to us all' - Ben Fogle
Following a drunken misunderstanding Simon Dawson gave up his job in the city, moved to the wilds of Exmoor and became an accidental self-sufficient smallholder with an array of animals. But that was years ago now. Following up on his first book, PIGS IN CLOVER, this is the story of what happens when he suddenly realises that his life is changing all over again. He's not quite the spring chicken that he used to be: he is, horror of horrors, getting older.With a cast of best friends (some more helpful than others) including Ziggy, a panicked soon-to-be father desperate to grow up, Garth, an annoying teenager, and a rather handsome pig called The General, a plan is hatched to help each other mature (or immature). Heartfelt discoveries and hilarious endeavours ensue as they work through their age-related angsts, all with a fair dose of pigs, chickens, lambs and animal madness along the way. This is Exmoor's uplifting laugh-out-loud antidote to middle age in the mud; a place where you truly realise that the sty's the limit!
EverRealm
Jake Bible - 2017
They have created the Domains and there they plan to reside forever. Except, the nightmares of reality have followed them into their new quantum dimension and those nightmares threaten to destroy it all! Now it is up to one of them to help navigate the quantum platform known as EverRealm, a fantasy MMORPG of epic proportions, in order to complete a quest he neither wants to complete nor knows how. With the help of his friends, and a lot of luck, he will have to face trials and tribulations like he's never faced as a player! Because now it is no longer a matter of Game Over, but of life or death! Can he survive it all and come out a winner? The only way he'll know is if he plays the game to the bitter end!
Echoes of a Haunting: A House in the Country
Clara M. Miller - 1999
Do not expect the "usual" tale filled with blood running down the walls, demons jumping out of closets, heads pivoting while spewing pea soup or seances with levitating mediums. Instead, the horror that lived in the House in the Country began slowly and quietly. It gradually built in intensity until living there became unbearable.The author's family, normal by any criteria, began to earn an unfair reputation as "devil worshipers" and "kooks". Despite efforts by various psychics and clergymen to ease the pressure, the house eventually won. When emotional and psychic shocks turned to physical threats, it became impossible to stay. The book attempts, in diary form, to trace the trajectory of the "haunting".
The Impending Sausage Sandwich of Doom
Kirk St Moritz - 2017
After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.
The Dead Below: The Haunting of Denver Botanic Gardens
Richard Estep - 2019
Built on top of the old city cemetery, Denver Botanic Gardens sits upon thousands of unrecovered human remains. Small wonder, then, that visitors and staff alike have reported all manner of ghostly activity, ranging from disembodied voices, cold spots, and phantom footsteps, to shadow figures and full-bodied apparitions. Are the spirits of the restless dead making their presence known to the living? Join paranormal investigator Richard Estep, of TV's 'Haunted Case Files,' 'Haunted Hospitals,' and 'Paranormal 911,' as he and a small team of dedicated researchers are locked down inside Denver Botanic Gardens in an attempt to uncover the truth for themselves.
300 Best Jokes: One-Liners and Funny Short Stories Collection (Donald's Humor Factory Book 1)
Donald Shaw - 2017
Looking for Something New and Really Funny? Imagine you can get it with JUST ONE CLICK! Yes, this is a JOKE BOOK of your dreams. Vol.1 of the Donald's Humor Factory series. This super funny adult joke book is free of swear words. Donald Shaw is a popular comic and an award-winning humor books author (his wife gave him a French kiss award)! His jokes are loved by thousands of people from Alaska to Zimbabwe, and possibly outside of Earth. Joking is always fun! Jokes bring smiles to people’s faces. Jokes make us laugh. People fall in love when they smile at each other. We love joking in the company of our best friends and families. Jokes help us to relax and overcome any difficulties. Joking is an awesome social skill and a great way to make new friends and to communicate nearly in any surrounding. Many people also love just to read some good jokes for amusement. However, it is not that easy to find real good jokes today. Some of them are simply out-of-date. Some of them are not clean enough. You may also find many joke books that are not really funny and contain too much fluff and advertising. This jokes book is different! Buying this humor book you will get: A great collection of 300 FUNNY JOKES One-liners, real-life awkward situations, and hilarious short stories Great book to read on a long trip Clean and dirty jokes WITHOUT nasty words Jokes for adults and teenagers Jokes about relationship, marriage, bar, professions, hobbies, etc. LIMITED TIME BONUS: the link to download my FREE HUMOR LIBRARY that includes hundreds of great jokes for kids, adults, and teenagers. So the whole family may have fun! This is no-brainer, really! This book is free of racism. I support LGBT community, because love is love. I love all people in the world and I want to make you laugh and smile! This is my ultimate goal and I did not mean to insult anyone. So relax, take it easy and enjoy this humor book! Buy this funny book NOW and roll on the floor laughing! Pick up your copy today by clicking the BUY NOW button at the top of this page!
Shit Happens
Eileen Wharton - 2012
She's got problems though when bits of her ex-husband turn up in different places and the slimy DI Savage seems to be bending the evidence to link her to the death. Add the fact that she's being pressured into taking a ‘job’ by hard-nosed Vera Devlin from the estate and having to work in a topless bar to make ends meet and you can see she's up against it. Desperate to extricate herself from the mess she breaks into her old marital home to find the diary of her dead husband, except that his mother has taken up residence and arrives back early from bingo… Set against a backdrop of Northern council estate life, this fast paced, humorous novel exemplifies the problems caused by poverty, piles and unruly children, think Jeremy Kyle meets the Thorn Birds and you won't be far wrong!
Who the Hell is That? (Zombie Rules Book 8)
David Achord - 2021
Some True Adventures in the Life of Hugh Glass, a Hunter and Trapper on the Missouri River (1857)
Philip St. George Cooke - 2015
1780–1833) was an American fur trapper and frontiersman noted for his exploits in the American West during the first third of the 19th century. Glass was born in Pennsylvania, to Irish parents. He was an explorer of the watershed of the Upper Missouri River in present day North Dakota, South Dakota and Montana. Glass was famed, most of all, as a frontier folk hero for his legendary cross-country trek after being mauled by a grizzly bear. Glass' most famous adventure began in 1822, when he responded to an advertisement in the Missouri Gazette and Public Adviser, placed by General William Ashley, which called for a corps of 100 men to "ascend the river Missouri" as part of a fur trading venture. These men would later be known as Ashley's Hundred. Besides Glass, others who joined the enterprise included notables such as James Beckwourth, Thomas Fitzpatrick, David Jackson, John Fitzgerald, William Sublette, Jim Bridger, and Jedediah Smith. Early in the trek, Glass established himself as a hard-working fur trapper. He was apparently wounded on this trip in a battle with Arikara, and later traveled with a party of 13 men to relieve traders at Fort Henry, at the mouth of the Yellowstone River. The expedition, led by Andrew Henry, planned to proceed from the Missouri, up the valley of the Grand River in present-day South Dakota, then across to the valley of the Yellowstone. The sketch in this book is related by the explorer and Army officer Philip St. George Cooke. This book originally published by Lindsay & Blakiston in 1857 has been reformatted for the Kindle and may contain an occasional defect from the original publication or from the reformatting.
The Adrian Mole Collection: The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole/True Confessions of Adrian Albert Mole/Adrian Mole: The Wilderness
Sue Townsend - 2000
I pushed my sausages away untouched.
Charting nearly ten years in the life of Adrian Mole, from his increasingly troubled adolescence and schooling to his first job as newt counter for the DoE, from his parents' marital troubles to his own difficult relationship with Pandora, from the failure of his early poems to the even grander failure of his epic novels, these three novels in one volume provide a hilarious portrait of one young man's coming of age.
'He will be remembered some day as one of England's great diarists. No matter what your troubles may be Adrian Mole is sure to make you feel better' Evening Standard