Julian Mann, the hard drinking, preening, and sexually provocative star of the TV sitcome Richard the Nerd, feels caught on the horns of a dilemma: should he be concentrating on his career, which is on the slide after an unseemly bout of fisticuffs at the BAFTA awards; or following his baser instincts and bedding every young girl in sight?His twin dreams of comic immortality and a penthouse flat full of booze and young models seem to be frustrated by his wife and children; by Tom, his wife's best friend from university days, a pretentious 'National Theatre Player' who appears to be competing with Julian on the small sreen and in the bedroom; by the tax man, who's chasing him for sixty thousand pounds; and by Lillith, a psychotic fan, and member of a strange Herculean cult whose eight-year cycle of death and regeneration might augur Julian's imminent nemesis...

    guide addressing various scenarios, and everyday situations.

    It has pictures. It has a saccharine-sweet title. The main characters are a little girl and her teddy bear. But all of that is just protective coloration. The truth is, this is a book for adults with a dark sense of humor and an appreciation of old-school faerie tales.There are three separate endings to the book. Depending on where you stop, you are left with an entirely different story. One ending is sweet, another is horrible. The last one is the true ending, the one with teeth in it.The Adventures of the Princess and Mr. Whiffle is a dark twist on the classic children's picture-book. I think of it as Calvin and Hobbes meets Coraline, with some Edward Gorey mixed in.Simply said: This is not a book for children.

    The authors, who appear regularly on "Saturday Night Live", "The David Letterman Show" and "Tonight", will tour 11 cities.

    Accompanied by illustrations, maps, diagrams and step-by-step instructions, this manual will be essential reading for those interested in protecting themselves, their families and society at large from the living dead.

    It pops open, and a little puppy wriggles out. The Don’s annoyed, her gang is upset. A new puppy spells trouble. For the dogs on the beach, life can be tough. And the new arrival has broken their rhythm. But soon they discover Shingmo the Seventh is actually a sliver of sunshine on the beach. The pack weaves a circle of friendship and love that shelters them all through sun and storm.These unforgettable dogs and their world come to life with Sagar Kolwankar’s beautiful black-and-white illustrations. An adventure with a heart, Woof! is a must-read for anyone who’s exchanged a knowing look with a dog.

    Parents themselves, Borgman and Scott have learned a thing or two along the way in their creative and family lives. The result is A Zits Guide to Living with Your Teenager.A combination of select Zits comic strips depicting the relationship between teenager Jeremy Duncan and his parents, Walt and Connie, and witty, knowing, and dead-on commentary from Borgman and Scott, A Zits Guide to Living with Your Teenager is an indispensable and entertaining manual for parents on the verge of having a teenager.Zits has twice been honored with the award for Best Newspaper Comic Strip by the National Cartoonists Society and received the "Max and Moritz" award for Best International Comic Strip in 2000.

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

    It is not for the faint of heart or for the whining masses. It is for those willing to serve as my devoted minions while I plan my greatest feat yet: surviving life as a human boy and returning to my rightful place as the ruler of the Dark Lands. Before I can exact my revenge, I must infiltrate this world and learn its ways.How, you might ask, is it possible that I, the Dark Lord, the Master of the Legions of Dread and Sorcerer Supreme, could be reduced to human form? And how is it possible that the Lord of darkness could be forced to attend school and befriend such pitiful life forms?Only by reading my tale will you learn the truth behind the cataclysmic defeat that left me stranded on this accursed planet, Earth. But make no mistake, revenge will be mine... as soon as I finish my homework. Mwah, hah, ha!Yours insincerely,Dirk Lloyd(aka the Dark Lord)

    The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.

    Crackling with caustic wit and insight, no aspect of American life is safe from Jimmy's hilarious scrutiny. He gets to the heart of the issues: why Republicans should support gay marriage or why the President shouldn't have Secret Security until the country has gun control, bringing clarity and hilarity to the incoherent noise of our punditocracy. This outrageously entertaining manifesto is an excellent resource for those who have survived long arguments during family dinners. And in a media environment dominated by corporate interests, Jimmy's take-no-prisoners approach is fearless: going after both political parties, and all corners of mainstream news. A David against an army of Goliaths. Equal measures of silliness and spleen-venting, Your Country IsJust Not That Into You is the most oddly uplifting political book ofthe year.

    Kids love jokes! Jokes can aid in story-telling, create laughs, and help with conversation and social skills. Your child will love this hilarious joke book full of clean jokes for children.Kids and children can practice their reading and joke telling skills with this funny joke book. Beginning and early readers can enjoy hours of fun and entertainment. This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. Jokes from this funny book... Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?A: He didn’t give a hoot! HAHA! Q: How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?A: Just a phew! LOL! Q: Where do astronauts leave their spaceships?A: At parking meteors! Funny Jokes! (Clean Jokes for Children) 125+ funny and hilarious jokes! Excellent for early and beginning readers Hours of fun and entertainment for your child Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud 125+ Funny and Hilarious Jokes! This funny joke book is full of funny jokes that will have you laughing for hours! This is one of the best joke collections in the world. These jokes will have you full with the giggles. These funny jokes are excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Early and beginner readers can practice reading aloud and learning. Best-Selling Joke Book Author, Johnny B. Laughing The Joke King, Johnny B. Laughing is a best-selling children's joke book author. He is a jokester at heart and enjoys a good laugh, pulling pranks on his friends, and telling funny and hilarious jokes! He has a wide variety of published joke books and a very successful joke website. Bonus Included! -- FREE JOKE BOOK DOWNLOAD! 101 FREE Funny Jokes (Free eBook download with purchase) Download your copy when you purchase this funny joke book. Scroll up and click 'buy' to get the laughter recipe today! 100% Money Back Guarantee Tags: funny knock knock jokes for kids, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, food, joke book, joke book, ebook, books, funny, hilarious jokes, ebooks, funny jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, kids books, free jokes, free joke books, free jokes for kids, jokes, joke book, food book, joke books, hilarious, lol, laughing, laughter, knock knock, funny jokes, funny joke book, book for kids, kindle book, kindle ebook, jokes online, comedy, humor, early reader, beginning reader, laugh, laughter, funniest jokes, laughing, kids comedy

     Finally, a book that teaches men all the things they really need to know about fatherhood...including how to: - change a baby at a packed sports stadium - create a decoy drawer full of old wallets, remote controls, and cell phones to throw baby off the scent of your real gear - stay awake (or at least upright) at work - babyproof a hotel room in four minutes flat - construct an emergency diaper out of a towel, a sock, and duct tape Packed with helpful diagrams and detailed instructions, and delivered with a wry sense of humor, Be Prepared is the ultimate guide for sleep-deprived, applesauce-covered fathers everywhere.

    His younger sister Bridie goes with him as his manager and tells us their story – warts, goals and all.The funny and moving story of a sister's love for her brother, and how it survives everything fate throws at it, including the millions of pounds and mountains of pressure at the top of the world's most popular sport.

    His plan may have worked all too well. Now, to save us from creeping socialism, death panels and everything progressive, he has written the antidote, Tea Party Fairy Tales. In Tea Party Fairy Tales, Red Riding Hood stands up for her Second Amendment rights, the Little Match Girl defends the magic of the free market to her grave, and Jack of “Beanstalk” fame shows the moral decay of a life on the dole. For those who find these too long-winded, more than a dozen Aesop’s Fables have been reworked to illustrate the eternal truths of American conservatism in handy, shouting-points form. Tea Party Fairy Tales deserves a place on every young American’s nightstand, right next to the Rush Limbaugh plush doll and a Smith & Wesson automatic, to help prevent the destruction of everything good and true in American culture. “Wake up, Storybookland! Before it’s too late!”