Shattered Vows: Hope and Healing for Women Who Have Been Sexually Betrayed


Debra Laaser - 2008
    Shattered Vows is inspired by the author's personal journey through betrayal, her extensive work with hundreds of hurting women, and her intimate marriage two decades after the disclosure of her husband's infidelity.

Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back


Stephen Arterburn - 2014
    Trust can be rebuilt in your marriage! With patient, loving, self-sacrificing effort, it’s possible that one day your wife will risk her heart with you again. And she may even have more respect and love for you than before. In Worthy of Her Trust, Jason Martinkus relates how he repaired his own marriage after revelations of sexual addiction. Along with Stephen Arterburn, Jason offers exercises and tools rooted in counseling principles to help your marriage begin again. This comprehensive guide discusses: · How to be truly and effectively transparent · Combating the “he must not love me” myth and other untruths· What to do about the Internet, office temptations, and travel· Encouragement for wives who wonder if trust can ever be restored · The “five-minute phone call” and other daily trust-building strategies· What meaningful forgiveness and restitution look like· The Amends Matrix—a concrete exercise to admit past wrongs and cast a vision for a faithful futureIncluding insights from Jason’s wife, Shelley, Worthy of Her Trust guides you through the process of rebuilding your relationship so it is stronger than ever.

Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery: A Gentle Path to Beginning Recovery from Sex Addiction


Patrick J. Carnes - 2001
    Carnes broke new ground with Out of the Shadows. Facing the Shadows continued that pioneering spirit as the first book to take techniques used by thousands of people recovering from sex addiction and show, step by step, how to break free of this disease and live a healthier, more fulfilling life. This second edition adds timely material on cybersex and new science about arousal. This work sets the stage for recovery tasks at hand, and then provides practical, easy-to-follow exercises specifically designed to help understand and address them. You'll learn: Why denial is so powerful and what can be done to break through it. How to face the consequences of your behaviors using recovery principles. How to respond to change and crisis due to addiction How to manage life without dysfunctional behavior How spirituality affects recovery What to disclose and to whom How does sex addiction start and what does an addict need to know

Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal


Sheri Keffer - 2018
    Beyond broken vows, a woman who discovers that the man she loves has been viewing pornography or having an affair must deal with devastating blows to her self-image and self-worth. She must grapple with the fact that the man she thought she knew has lied and deceived her. She may even bear the brunt of shame and judgment when the people around her find out.Drawing from her experience both as a marriage and family therapist and a woman who personally experienced the devastation of sexual betrayal, Dr. Sheri Keffer walks women impacted by betrayal through the pain and toward recovery. She explains how the trauma of betrayal affects our minds, bodies, spirits, and sexuality. She offers practical tools for dealing with emotional triggers and helps women understand the realities of sexual addiction. And she shows women how to practice self-care, develop healthy boundaries, protect themselves from abuse or manipulation, and find freedom from the burden of shame and guilt.

The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts


Shannon Ethridge - 2012
    Best-selling author Shannon Ethridge theorizes, “Fantasies are simply the brain’s way of trying to heal itself from unresolved tragedies and traumas. We mentally compartmentalize our pain to make room for pleasure.”Fantasies have deep psychological roots, and if acted on many of them can do deep psychological damage. Rather than let fantasies rule us, let’s take out the sting and bring them under God’s rule, allowing the Lord to heal us from the brokenness and insecurities that cause inappropriate fantasies to haunt us.Without being judgmental or condemning, Shannon helps us dissect several common and often-disturbing topics, such as:• a distorted fascination with pornography• the mental pursuit of multiple partners• the lure of gay and lesbian desires• bondage, domination, and sadomasochism (BDSM)With tips for controlling unwanted fantasies and resources for providing a safe haven for recovery, The Fantasy Fallacy helps us recognize and heal our emotional pain and equips us to help others do the same.

Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction


Mark R. Laaser - 2004
    This book goes beyond cliché answers and offers meaningful, spiritual, and practical steps to healing and freedom from sexual addiction--or any addiction. With today's rampant availability of Internet pornography, sexual addiction has become a national epidemic that affects an increasing number of Christians, even pastors and priests. As devastating as any drug habit, it brings heartbreak and despair to those it entangles. But there is help for men and women caught in sexual addiction's downward spiral. This book offers a path that leads beyond compulsive thoughts and behaviors to healing and transformation. Speaking from his own experience with sexual addiction and recovery, Dr. Mark Laaser is sensitive to the shame of sexual addiction without minimizing its sinfulness. He traces the roots of the problem, discusses its patterns and impact, and maps out a biblical approach to self-control and sexual integrity. Whether you know someone with a sexual addiction or struggle yourself, Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction points the way to understanding, wholeness, and holiness. Spanish edition also available; previously titled Faithful and True.

Every Heart Restored: A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband's Sexual Sin


Fred Stoeker - 2004
    Filled with firsthand stories, Every Heart Restored addresses the questions and real-life issues that matter most to wives who have been betrayed sexually, meeting them where they are in the recovery process and guiding them to healing greater than they imagine possible.

Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way


Gary Chapman - 2007
    . . again.Getting angry is easy. Daily irritations, frustrations, and pain poke at us. Feelings of disappointment, hurt, rejection, and embarrassment prod in us. And once the unwieldy cluster of emotions of anger are aroused, our thoughts and actions can feel out of control and impossible to manage.Dr. Gary Chapman, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages®, offers helpful-and sometimes surprising-insights into why you get angry and what you can do about it. Using real-life stories and practical principles, Chapman explains how you can channel anger in ways that are healthy and productive. You'll also be equipped to help those you love (including your children) deal with their own anger, as well as effectively deal with those long-simmering feelings of anger toward people in your past.Includes an assessment that will help you discover your personal propensity toward handling anger and how to effectively tame it when it arises.

The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships


Harriet Lerner - 1989
    Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself


Melody Beattie - 1986
    The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More.The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.Melody Beattie is the author of Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, The Codependent No More Workbook and Playing It by Heart.

Healing the Addicted Brain: The Revolutionary, Science-Based Alcoholism and Addiction Recovery Program


Harold Urschel - 2009
    It is a disease of the brain that must be treated like any other chronic medical illness. Healing the Addicted Brain by Dr. Harold Urschel, a board-certified physician on addiction and founder of the Urschel Science Recovery Institute, combines the best behavioral addiction treatments with the latest scientific research on brain function, providing tools and strategies designed to overcome the biological factors that cause addictive behavior. This proven approach triples the success rate of patients from 30% to 90% for those who seek help.You will learn how to:Combat triggers and cravingsDeal with difficult emotionsHandle dual diagnosesCommunicate with familyAchieve heath and nutrition in recoveryRegain enjoyment and pleasureMaintain long-term recoveryWhether you or a family member or friend suffer from addiction, Healing the Addicted Brain offers you a comprehensive look at the new understanding of addition and will arm you with the latest treatment information and ideas to beat this disease and achieve sobriety."Scientifically-based approaches that recognize the biological basis of addiction have brought major advances in the treatment of addiction. Dr. Urschel is at the forefront of this treatment paradigm."—Dr. Larry Hanselka, psychologist

The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples


John M. Gottman - 2011
    In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times.Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient.This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.

Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain


William M. Struthers - 2009
    Our contemporary culture as been pornified, and it shapes our assumptions about identity, sexuality, the value of women and the nature of relationships. Countless Christian men struggle with the addictive power of porn. But common spiritual approaches of more prayer and accountability groups are often of limited help. In this book neuroscientist and researcher William Struthers explains how pornography affects the male brain and what we can do about it. Because we are embodied beings, viewing pornography changes how the brain works, how we form memories and make attachments. By better understanding the biological realities of our sexual development, we can cultivate healthier sexual perspectives and interpersonal relationships. Struthers exposes false assumptions and casts a vision for a redeemed masculinity, showing how our sexual longings can actually propel us toward sanctification and holiness in our bodies. With insights for both married and single men alike, this book offers hope for freedom from pornography.

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers


Karyl McBride - 2008
    The first book for the millions of daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert advice readers need to overcome debilitating histories and reclaim their lives.

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic


Esther Perel - 2006
    She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers