From her beginnings as a wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds, through her spirited adventures watching self-satisfying monkeys, throwing up on Chinese food deliverymen, and stalking Leo DiCaprio, here are the goofy highs and horrifying lows of life as Kelly Oxford.

    Over 16 action-packed years, from a trainee scrubbing the boots of the first XI, to a record-breaking 333 Premier League appearances, Ray Parlour’s never-say-die performances, curly locks and mischievous sense of humour have gone down in Arsenal history.Battling tirelessly on the pitch, often in the shadows of his star-name teammates, Parlour won three premier league titles and four FA Cup trophies with the Gunners. But he was also the heart and soul of the dressing room, the training ground and the after work drink. From nights out with Tony Adams, to teaching Thierry Henry cockney rhyming slang, from playing golf with Dennis Bergkamp to trading Inspector Clouseau jokes with Arsène Wenger, this wonderfully funny and candid autobiography looks back on a golden age of the beautiful game, reliving the banter, the stories and the success.Ray Parlour is an Arsenal legend. During his 16-year career he won 3 Premier League titles, 4 FA Cups and the UEFA Cup. One of the most underrated players of his generation, he was also part of Arsenal’s famous Invincible team of 2003/4, which went the entire Premier League season unbeaten. He is now a regular pundit for TalkSport and Sky Sports. He enjoys a short back and sides.

    The holder of many records, ‘Baz’ is known for speaking his mind. He talks about growing up loving sport more than anything, getting better and better at cricket (although he was a good enough rugby player to keep Dan Carter out of the South Island Schoolboy rugby team) and his uncertain transition to international cricketer. In this explosive autobiography he opens up on the many controversies he has been involved in, including the Chris Cairns affair and the leadership change from Ross Taylor. He exposes behind-the scenes machinations as well as the private moments of exultation, tumult and despair. One of New Zealand’s and the worlds most admired cricketers, he is credited with changing the face of the game internationally.

    From being the saviour of a man’s anus to being mistaken for the milkman, Tom describes the complexity and absurdity of today’s medical practice with humour and aplomb. Tom is a junior doctor working in the National Health Service. Tom Parsons is a pseudonym. * Amazon/Kindle/Fiction/Medical, March 2018

    As the only English football captain ever to raise the World Cup, he was not just a football icon but a national one.Yet Bobby was an intensely reserved, almost mysterious personality. Only one person was his true friend and confidante – his boyhood sweetheart, Tina, whom he met at 17 and married soon after.Tina Moore’s story of her life with Bobby, the triumphs and crises of his football career, the break-up of their marriage and what happened afterwards, is a moving tribute to a national icon by the person who knew him better than anyone.

    Think again. No Nonsense is a game-changing autobiography which will redefine the most fascinating figure in British football. It is the raw yet redemptive story of a man shaped by rejection and the consequences of his mistakes. He has represented England, and been a pivotal player for Manchester City, Newcastle United, Queens Park Rangers, Marseille and Burnley, but his career has featured recurring controversy. The low point of being sent to prison for assault in 2008 proved to be the catalyst for the re-evaluation of his life.No Nonsense reflects Barton’s character – it is candid, challenging, entertaining and intelligent. He does not spare himself, in revealing the formative influences of a tough upbringing in Liverpool, and gives a survivor’s insight into a game which to use his phrase 'eats people alive'. The book is emotionally driven, and explains how he has redirected his energies since the birth of his children. In addition to dealing with his past, he expands on his plans for the future. The millions who follow his commentaries on social media, and those who witnessed him on BBC’s Question Time, will be given another reason to pause, and look beyond the caricature.

    Yet here are over thirty true stories of real life murderers who abused the trust of the public, their patients, their friends and their colleagues, indulging in chilling killing sprees. Neville Heath, the charming RAF officer with uncontrollable urges. Susan Christie, the ‘Fatal Attraction’ killer from the Ulster Defence Regiment. Robert Erler, the so-called Super Cop who shot a mother and daughter seemingly on a whim. Genene Jones, the loving nurse who killed many of the children in her care. James Camb, the ship’s steward who charmed and then killed one of his passengers. What drove these people to commit such heinous acts and how did they utilise the confidence placed in those in uniform? Killers in Uniform is saturated with stark reminders that real-life killers are far from monsters of fiction. In providing a comprehensive history of some of the most shocking crimes on record, Adrian Vincent raises important questions about patterns of crime, the psychology of murder and regulation of systems where trust and exploitation can unfortunately go hand in hand. He also charts changes in the justice system and controversial judicial attitudes towards punishment: documenting the move away from the death penalty and punitive punishment towards rehabilitation and flexible sentencing terms, detailing crimes which ended in hanging and life-sentences to prisoners sent to psychiatric hospitals including Broadmoor. Adrian Vincent worked in Fleet Street for twenty-seven years, becoming managing editor of IPC’s educational magazines. He is the author of many books on art and antiques, novels and true crime.

    Big Ang has rules to live by for beauty, food, family, friendship, and more. Here she is . . . ON HER KILLER BOOBS: I was on vacation with my family in the Catskills when out of nowhere, this bat flies right into my chest and then falls splat on the ground. Turned out, he died on impact. ON FAMILY TRADITIONS: Every Sunday, we do a feast for fifteen to twentyfive people. Last week, we went through seventy-five meatballs. Even by my family's standards, that's a lot of balls. ON DIETING: Swearing off lasagna to lose weight? You might fit into smaller jeans. But you're still the same person-- except hungrier and bitchier. ON HOBBIES: Would I rather cook for people or have sex? No hard-and-fast rule there. But I will say this: Cooking is "always "satisfying.

    The life and times of a girl who has always loved animals, or how I went from dreaming about Rin Tin Tin to having dogs, cats, chickens, fish, cattle, turkeys, and guinea fowl, with guest appearances by horses, lions, and canaries.

    He'd been accepted, but he couldn't start for another year. A caddie since he was twelve and a golfer sporting a 1.8 handicap, Ollie decides to spend his gap year in St. Andrews, Scotland—a town with the U.K.'s highest number of pubs per capita, and home to the Old Course, golf's most famous eighteen holes—where he enrolls in the St. Andrews Links Trust caddie trainee program. Initially, the notoriously brusque veteran caddies treat Ollie like a bug. But after a year of waking up at 4:30 A.M. every morning and looping two rounds a day, Ollie earns their grudging respect—only to have to pack up and leave for Harvard. There, Ollie's new classmates are the sons of Albania's UN ambassador, the owner of Heineken, and the CEO of Goldman Sachs. Surrounded by sixth generation legacies, he feels like a fish out of water all over again and can't wait to get back to St. Andrews. Even after graduation, when his college friends rush to Wall Street, Horovitz continues to return each summer to caddie on the Old Course. A hilarious, irresistible, behind-the-scenes peek at the world's most celebrated golf course—and its equally famous caddie shack—An American Caddie in St. Andrews is certain to not only entertain golfers and fans of St. Andrews but also anyone who dares to remember stumbling into adulthood and finding one's place in the world.

    He was forced to choose which path he was going to take: continue the cycle of family poverty or break it. The Mindset is an inspirational memoir of Ace Bowers’ personal transformation from janitor to millionaire. Bowers began his journey uneducated, overweight, addicted to cigarettes, in debt, and depressed. Revealing the skeletons in his closet for the first time set the scene for how he got to the point of cleaning a motel for $6 an hour. Bowers’ detailed accounts of his turbulent and traumatizing childhood illustrated what it is like growing up in a poor, alcoholic, and abusive family. The metamorphosis began as soon as he changed his mindset. Within five years, Bowers was able to completely turn his life around, going from trash to technology. This memoir illuminates step by step his unconventional path to wealth, health, and happiness.

    This book is written by a stand-up comedian that takes you through tragedy after tragedy on its path to hilarity. Will it make you laugh? Eventually. Will it make you cry? Probably. But the hope is that it will also make you smile, dream, and reflect, while simultaneously inspiring you to never stop chasing your dreams (even if your very own family is constantly trying to derail them). Brandt tells his life story with candor, detailing the many pit stops, wrong turns, crazy connections, and lucky breaks he experienced along the way to his comedy career, all while trying to balance a toxic relationship with his jailbird dad. Brandt's storytelling will make you laugh (it better because that's his job!) and believe, as he does, that when it comes to defining family, blood isn't always thicker than water.

    Note: These texting fails contain profanity, not for children.When are people going to learn that autocorrect can't be trusted? With FAILS like these, we actually hope that's not for a long time.This book complies 101 of the funniest, most viral and cringeworthy autocorrect screenshots to date.Guaranteed to put you on the floor laughing!

    We promise to make you laugh and give you that much needed break in the middle of all the crazy.We have partnered with the most talented bunch of moms and dads to bring you the best, the funniest, and the most outrageous stories to get you from girth to birth.Are you having strange cravings? Have you asked yourself what in the hell is happening to my body? Have strangers touched your belly? If you've answered yes to any of these questions then this is the book for you! Prop up your cankles, grab a bowl of your favorite ice cream covered in olives and have a laugh with our crew. Things are about to get real.

    Half of the essays are brand new, the others are all reworked and rewritten, based on pieces that were originally published in Golf Digest. Often biting, usually cranky, always hilarious and surprising—this is Dan Jenkins at his best, writing about the sport he loves the most.      "I've always wanted to do something for the golfer who has everything. I thought about a suede golf cart, or maybe a pair of cashmere Footjoys. Then I settled on writing this book." So begins Dan Jenkins's latest—and funniest—collection of golf essays. The book consists of thirty-eight essays, all of them, as Dan says in the first essay, are "literally throbbing with opinion."     In this book Dan delves into the greatest rounds of golf he's ever seen; the funniest things said on a golf course; the rivalries on tour and in the press box; the game's most magical moments—and its most absurd. Unplayable Lies is an ode to the game Jenkins loves. But it is Dan Jenkins, so nothing—even the game of golf—can escape his wrath, his critical eye, or his acerbic pen. The best way to describe it is to turn the book over to Mr. Jenkins:      In "Titanic and I"—probably the most hilarious and surprising essay in the book, telling true stories of Titanic Thompson: gambler, golf hustler, accused murderer, legendary storyteller—Dan explains how Titanic would win a wager by saying he could knock a bird off a telephone wire: "Titanic would drop a ball on the ground and take out his four-wood, waggle it, and pretend to aim at the bird on the wire. When some sucker would bet him he couldn't do it, Ti would pull out a gun he carried and shoot the bird off the wire."     In "The Greatest Rounds": "Show me a man who doesn't know what Arnold did in the last round of the '60 U.S. Open at Cherry Hills, and I'll show you a soccer fan in Paraguay."     This is a perfect follow up to His Ownself. It even has an Introduction by Sally Jenkins, one of the country's top sportswriters and Dan's own darling daughter.