Book picks similar to
Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships by Stella Harris
sexuality
relationships
sex
self-help
She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders
Jennifer Finney Boylan - 2003
She’s Not There is the story of a person changing genders, the story of a person bearing and finally revealing a complex secret; above all, it is a love story.By turns funny and deeply moving, Jennifer Finney Boylan explores the remarkable territory that lies between men and women, examines changing friendships, and rejoices in the redeeming power of family. She’s Not There is a portrait of a loving marriage—the love of James for his wife, Grace, and, against all odds, the enduring love of Grace for the woman who becomes her "sister," Jenny.To this extraordinary true story, Boylan brings the humorous, fresh voice that won her accolades as one of the best comic novelists of her generation. With her distinctive and winning perspective, She’s Not There explores the dramatic outward changes and unexpected results of life as a woman: Jenny fights the urge to eat salad, while James consumed plates of ribs; gone is the stability of "one damn mood, all the damn time." While Boylan’s own secret was unusual, to say the least, she captures the universal sense of feeling uncomfortable, out of sorts with the world, and misunderstood by her peers. Jenny is supported on her journey by her best friend, novelist Richard Russo, who goes from begging his friend to "Be a man" (in every sense of the word) to accepting her as an attractive, buoyant woman. "The most unexpected thing," Russo writes in his Afterword to the book, "is in how Jenny’s story we recognize our shared humanity."As James evolves into Jennifer in scenes that are by turns tender, startling, and witty, a marvelously human perspective emerges on issues of love, sex, and the fascinating relationship between our physical and our intuitive selves. Through the clear eyes of a truly remarkable woman, She’s Not There provides a new window on the often confounding process of accepting ourselves.
Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex
Joan Price - 2011
. . the best is yet to come" (Dr. Dean Edell)Joan Price is talking out loud about a subject that is often ignored or ridiculed in our society: later-life sexuality.In Naked at Our Age, she offers a candid, straight-talking exploration of senior sexuality -- the challenges, the disappointments, and the surprises, as well as the delights of love and passion. She shares the stories of women and men -- coupled and single, straight and gay -- demonstrating how their sex lives and relationships have changed with age, and how their sex lives influence their lives and self-esteem. Along the way, she offers wise advice from sex therapists, health professionals, counselors, sex educators, and other knowledgeable experts, helping seniors to embrace intimacy in all its forms.Entertaining and indispensable, Naked at Our Age is a complete guide to enjoying senior sex, love, passion, and couplehood.
Girl Up
Laura Bates - 2016
They told you to wear longer skirts, avoid going out late at night and move in groups - never accept drinks from a stranger, and wear shoes you can run in more easily than heels. They told you to wear just enough make-up to look presentable but not enough to be a slut; to dress to flatter your apple, pear, hourglass figure, but not to be too tarty. They warned you that if you try to be strong, or take control, you'll be shrill, bossy, a ballbreaker. Of course it's fine for the boys, but you should know your place. They told you 'that's not for girls' - 'take it as a compliment' - 'don't rock the boat' - 'that'll go straight to your hips'. They told you 'beauty is on the inside', but you knew they didn't really mean it. Well screw that. I'm here to tell you something else. Hilarious, jaunty and bold, GIRL UP exposes the truth about the pressures surrounding body image, the false representations in media, the complexities of a sex and relationships, the trials of social media and all the other lies they told us. 'Bates takes a myth-busting approach to body image, food, sex and advertising, and is particularly good at boiling down feminist language into a snappy, everyday vernacular without diluting its power.' Metro 'Essential reading for young women and girls, Girl Up is set to become a key guiding text for the next generation like The Beauty Myth and The Feminine Mystique have for preceding generations. Morning Star Online It's hardly headline news that feminism can be funny. But, heavens, is it refreshing to see it done as well as it is [in this book]. Telegraph 'Girl Up is something between a self-help book and a bracing love letter to today's teenage girls...I wish I'd had Girl Up when I was growing up. I could have used such no-nonsense survival g
BDSM The Naked Truth
Charley Ferrer - 2011
Charley Ferrer pulls back the leather curtain and exposes the world of Dominance and submission. Whether you're a novice, curious seeker, or have been dabbling in power exchange relationships for some time, BDSM The Naked Truth provides valuable information and dispels many of the misconceptions in this often misrepresented and highly erotic lifestyle. Doctor Charley reveals why men and women seek bondage, discipline and sadomasochistic activities; why a submissive yearns to surrender; and why a Dominant nourishes that craving. Discover the affection, respect and love expressed during these interactions. BDSM--it's not who you love but HOW you love them!
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
David Schnarch - 1997
With a new preface by the author, this updated edition explores the ways we can keep passion alive and even reach the height of sexual and emotional fulfillment later in life. David Schnarch accompanies his inspirational message of attaining long-term happiness with proven techniques developed in worldwide workshops to help couples develop greater intimacy. Chapters provide the scaffolding for overcoming sexual and emotional roadblocks— from evaluating personal expectations to laying the groundwork for keeping the sparks alive years down the road, and everything in between. This book is sure to help couples overcome hurdles in their relationships and reach the fullest potential in their love lives.
Why Women Have Better Sex Under Socialism: And Other Arguments for Economic Independence
Kristen R. Ghodsee - 2018
The response was tremendous — clearly she articulated something many women had sensed for years: the problem is with capitalism, not with us.Ghodsee, an acclaimed ethnographer and professor of Russian and East European Studies, spent years researching what happened to women in countries that transitioned from state socialism to capitalism. She argues here that unregulated capitalism disproportionately harms women, and that we should learn from the past. By rejecting the bad and salvaging the good, we can adapt some socialist ideas to the 21st century and improve our lives.She tackles all aspects of a woman's life - work, parenting, sex and relationships, citizenship, and leadership. In a chapter called "Women: Like Men, But Cheaper," she talks about women in the workplace, discussing everything from the wage gap to harassment and discrimination. In "What To Expect When You're Expecting Exploitation," she addresses motherhood and how "having it all" is impossible under capitalism.Women are standing up for themselves like never before, from the increase in the number of women running for office to the women's march to the long-overdue public outcry against sexual harassment. Interest in socialism is also on the rise -- whether it's the popularity of Bernie Sanders or the skyrocketing membership numbers of the Democratic Socialists of America. It's become increasingly clear to women that capitalism isn't working for us, and Ghodsee is the informed, lively guide who can show us the way forward.
Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work
Matthew McKay - 1994
Couple Skills, Second Edition, revised and updated from the therapist-recommended classic, will show you how to work smarter in your relationship. You'll learn to improve communication, cope better with problems, and resolve conflicts with the one you love in healthy and creative ways. Each chapter teaches you an essential skill that supports greater relationship satisfaction and deeper intimacy.New to this edition is a chapter on using acceptance skills, developed from the revolutionary new acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). These new approaches will help you to accept your partner's feelings (and your own emotions) without judgment. Using these techniques will help you decide what you really value in your relationship and then commit to acting in ways that further those values every day.
Bound and Gagged: Pornography and the Politics of Fantasy in America
Laura Kipnis - 1996
First published in 1996, Bound and Gagged opens with the chilling case of Daniel DePew, a man convicted—in the first computer bulletin board entrapment case—of conspiring to make a snuff film and sentenced to thirty-three years in prison for merely trading kinky fantasies with two undercover cops.Using this textbook example of social hysteria as a springboard, Kipnis argues that criminalizing fantasy—even perverse and unacceptable fantasy—has dire social consequences. Exploring the entire spectrum of pornography, she declares that porn isn’t just about gender and that fantasy doesn’t necessarily constitute intent. She reveals Larry Flynt’s Hustler to be one of the most politically outspoken and class-antagonistic magazine in the country and shows how fetishes such as fat admiration challenge our aesthetic prejudices and socially sanctioned disgust. Kipnis demonstrates that the porn industry—whose multibillion-dollar annual revenues rival those of the three major television networks combined—know precisely how to tap into our culture’s deepest anxieties and desires, and that this knowledge, more than all the naked bodies, is what guarantees its vast popularity.Bound and Gagged challenges our most basic assumptions about America’s relationship with pornography and questions what the calls to eliminate it are really attempting to protect.
The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Reality
Rachel Hills - 2015
Fifty years after the sexual revolution, we are told that we live in a time of unprecedented sexual freedom; that if anything, we are too free now. But beneath the veneer of glossy hedonism, millennial journalist Rachel Hills argues that we are controlled by a new brand of sexual convention: one which influences all of us—woman or man, straight or gay, liberal or conservative. At the root of this silent code lies The Sex Myth—the defining significance we invest in sexuality that once meant we were dirty if we did have sex, and now means we are defective if we don’t do it enough. Equal parts social commentary, pop culture, and powerful personal anecdotes from people across the English-speaking world, The Sex Myth exposes the invisible norms and unspoken assumptions that shape the way we think about sex today.
Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power
Audre Lorde - 1978
The false dichotomies that Lorde debunks persist in our cultural imagination: the separation of the erotuc from the spiritual and political. Now, Kore Press brings this essay into stand-alone focus, reprinting it in a fine, handbound pamphlet illustrated with photographs by Tucson photographer Camille Bonzani. Designed by book artist Nancy Solomon, the essay is offset and letterpress printed in an edition of 1000.
The Joy of Missing Out: Finding Balance in a Wired World
Christina Crook - 2014
Over the past few decades, the world has embraced "progress" and we're living with the resultant clicking, beeping, anxiety-inducing frenzy. But a creative backlash is gathering steam, helping us cope with the avalanche of data that threatens to overwhelm us daily through our computers, tablets, and smartphones.Digital Detox considers the technologically focused life, with its impacts on our children, relationships, communities, health, work, and more, and suggests opportunities for those of us longing to cultivate a richer on- and off-line existence. By examining the connected world through the lens of her own internet fast, Christina Crook creates a convincing case for increasing intentionality in our day-to-day lives. Using historical data, typewritten letters, chapter challenges, and personal accounts, she invites us to explore a new way of living, beyond our steady state of distracted connectedness.Most of us can't throw away our smart phone or cut ourselves off from the internet. But we can all rethink our relationship with the digital world, discovering new ways of introducing balance and discipline to the role of technology in our lives. This book is a must read for anyone wishing to rediscover quietness of mind and seeking a sense of peace amidst the cacophony of the modern world.Christina Crook is a wordsmith and communications professional and instigator of the project Letters from a Luddite, which chronicled her thirty-one day internet fast and fueled her passion for exploring the intersection of technology, relationships, and joy.
Nobody Passes: Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity
Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore - 2006
By examining the perilous intersections of identity, categorization, and community, contributors challenge societal mores and countercultural norms. Nobody Passes explores and critiques the various systems of power seen (or not seen) in the act of “passing.” In a pass-fail situation, standards for acceptance may vary, but somebody always gets trampled on. This anthology seeks to eliminate the pressure to pass and thereby unearth the delicious and devastating opportunities for transformation that might create.Mattilda, aka Matt Bernstein Sycamore, has a history of editing anthologies based on brazen nonconformity and gender defiance. Mattilda sets out to ask the question, “What lies are people forced to tell in order to gain acceptance as 'real'.” The answers are as varied as the life experiences of the writers who tackle this urgent and essential topic.
Love Smart: Find the One You Want--Fix the One You Got
Phillip C. McGraw - 2005
Phil tells people who are dissatisfied with their love lives to stop making excuses and start taking action.You deserve a committed relationship, and it is within your control to have the one you want. First, though, you need to determine what you want in a partner, plot your course, and get out there and create velocity in your pursuit of a loving connection. In this book you'll learn to:Present the real you in the most flattering light. You have to stop being your own best kept secret.Peek behind the male curtain. Dr. Phil tells you things about men that they don't necessarily want you to know. How good is your Guy-Q?Master the right moves. Don't fade into the wallpaper; get noticed and get involved. If you are already coupled up then learn how to grow and nurture what you have built.Bag 'em, tag 'em and take 'em home. Learn how to negotiate the relationship you desire and then close the deal.Get out of your relationship rut. The daily grind, money problems, work, etc., can take their toll on your relationship. Dr. Phil shows you how to assess the state of your union and take your relationship to a deeper level. There are no exceptions: There is somebody for everybody, and everybody deserves a relationship filled with love and excitement. Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got offers you the plan to find not just any relationship but the committed, loving, joy-filled relationship you've been waiting for. Contact Dr. Phil at www.drphil.com
Men, Women, and Worthiness: The Experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough
Brené Brown - 2012
shame—why one is a useful force for growth, while the other keeps us small• Discuss the four elements of shame resilience—identifying our triggers, practicing critical awareness, sharing our story, and speaking honestly about shame• Discuss empathy as the primary antidote to shameWhat does it take to be secure in our sense of belonging and self-worth? We may hustle to attain this security through achievements, meeting expectations, or repeating affirmations to ourselves—but Dr. Brené Brown's research has shown there is ultimately one obstacle to our sense of worthiness. "Shame is the barrier," she teaches, "and building shame resilience is how we overcome it." With Men, Women, and Worthiness, Dr. Brown draws upon more than 12 years of investigation to reveal how we can disarm the influence of shame to cultivate a life of greater courage, joy, and love. In this rich and heartfelt examination of this pivotal element of happiness, she invites you to explore:The differences and similarities between the experience of shame for men and women• Guilt vs. shame—why one is a useful force for growth, while the other keeps us small• The four elements of shame resilience—identifying our triggers, practicing critical awareness, sharing our story, and speaking honestly about shame• Empathy as the primary antidote to shame"Whether you are a man, woman, or child, every one of us has the irreducible need for love and belonging," Dr. Brown teaches. "A sense of self-worth, unhindered by the inner voices of shame, allows us to meet that need." With the warmth, candor, and humor that has made her a celebrated speaker, Brené Brown offers a road map for navigating the emotions that hold us back-so we can cultivate a life of authenticity and connection.
Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong
Barbara De Angelis - 1992
Relationships psychologist De Angelis reveals why you've chosen the partners you have, how to make better choices, types of relationship that won't work, how to spot fatal flaws in a partner, and why you may fall in love for the wrong reasons.