Qù tama, zánmen chuqù feng ba. •Who farted? Shéi fàng de pì?•Wanna try doggy-style? Yàobù zánliar shìshì gou cào shì?•Son of a bitch!Gouniángyang de!•I’m getting smashed. Wo ganjué heduo le.•I can’t eat this shit! Wo chi bù xià qù!

    But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer. I know, I know, it sucks not being me. But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.

    Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.

    You'll also discover: - How to Treat a Radioactive Spider Bite - How to Design and Build a Costume - How to Swing from Building to Building - How to Maintain a Secret Identity - Hot to Take On a Gang of Henchmen Plus a few skills that would benefit all the Peter Parkers in the world (such as How to Deal with a Nightmare Boss, How to Live on a Meager Income, and more). Complete with colorful step-by-step illustrations, "The Spider-Man Handbook "is essential reading for all your web-slinging needs!

    Celebrated in particular for his “Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories” skits, featuring hilarious renditions of Rick James and Prince, Murphy now recounts many of the actual stories that inspired these popular sketches in vivid and comical detail in Doing Time: The Making of a Stand-Up Guy. With his flare for storytelling and his distinctive and fearless voice, it’s no wonder that Charlie Murphy has been the subject of many featured stories in numerous magazines, including GQ, Essence, Rolling Stone, and he was recently listed as one of the Hottest People to Watch in Entertainment Weekly’s “Must List.” Featuring outrageous misadventures as part of his younger brother Eddie’s entourage, and hysterical encounters with numerous celebrities, Doing Time: The Making of a Stand-Up Guy is a fascinating and wildly funny chronicle from one of the most talented comedians today.

    She's got problems though when bits of her ex-husband turn up in different places and the slimy DI Savage seems to be bending the evidence to link her to the death. Add the fact that she's being pressured into taking a ‘job’ by hard-nosed Vera Devlin from the estate and having to work in a topless bar to make ends meet and you can see she's up against it. Desperate to extricate herself from the mess she breaks into her old marital home to find the diary of her dead husband, except that his mother has taken up residence and arrives back early from bingo… Set against a backdrop of Northern council estate life, this fast paced, humorous novel exemplifies the problems caused by poverty, piles and unruly children, think Jeremy Kyle meets the Thorn Birds and you won't be far wrong!

    Because a pair of drawstring sweatpants could bring about your most embarrassing moment. And a toothpick in your sandwich can be the deadliest of weapons. Including hundreds of bizarre-but-true things that can get you, this compact volume will induce nervous page flipping and make even the most snug and secure folks bonafide paranoiacs. Chilling black and white photographs document the everyday items that menace your safety. But whether it's archibutyrophobia (the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth) or phobophobia (the fear of fear itself) that eventually gets you, don't be afraid to buy this book. You never know what might happen to you if you don't.

    For centuries, lovers have found inspiration and advice in the ancient text of the Kama Sutra. Now, Simon Rich -- "one of the funniest writers in America" (The Daily Beast) -- and Farley Katz have unearthed a valuable new document: a guide to the positions most common after marriage. From "the interrupted congress" to "the beaching of the whales," here are the poses, positions, and games married lovers play to keep the spark alive -- and the dishwasher properly loaded. Complete with four-color, full-page illustrations in the style of the original Kama Sutra, but with modern, domestic accoutrements: dirty diapers, TV remotes, and wine glasses aplenty.

     What's new: Completely re-written with all-new sections on hammock FAQs and basics for new hangers and an expanded advanced section for veterans, plus a DIY section to get you started making your own hammock gear. The Ultimate Hang 2 covers everything from suspension systems, hammock stands, staying dry, warm, and bug free, along with setting up hammocks indoors. Hammocks are one of the most comfortable ways to enjoy the indoors, and make great companions for a long-distance thru-hike, relaxing at a park, a weekend backpacking trip, or an overnight in the woods! Get off the ground and begin enjoying the outdoors. Updated with hundreds of illustrations, The Ultimate Hang helps you discover the freedom, comfort, and convenience of hammock camping. Learn how to set up and use a hammock to stay dry, warm, and bug free in a Leave No Trace-friendly way. All the best tips and techniques on hammock camping in one place. Stop searching and start relaxing.

    Using a unique chronological structure that helps parents navigate baby's first 365 days, "Baby Day by Day" provides new parents with everything they need to know about looking after their child, from birth to twelve months.Written by a panel of pediatricians, child psychologists, nutritionists, and complementary medicine experts, "Baby Day by Day" provides an unbiased approach to baby care that gives the pros and cons of various approaches, including sleep training, managing crying, and breastfeeding issues.Providing answers to common queries and baby dilemmas, suggestions for age-appropriate games and developmentally stimulating things to do with your baby, as well as a comprehensive health section discussing common childhood ailments, "Baby Day by Day" also looks at the most recent discoveries about how babies' minds work and how parents can use these insights to guide their child's development.

    In On the Prowl the best of Rupert Fawcett's brilliantly observed, touchingly true cartoons come together in book form for the first time.Featuring the secret thoughts and conversations of cats of every size, shape and breed, this gorgeous book is a celebration of our favourite feline friends.

    This is the story of how, with the odd misstep along the way, the owners of the Bond franchise, Eon Productions, have contrived to keep James Bond abreast of the zeitgeist and at the top of the charts for 45 years, through 21 films featuring six Bonds, three M’s, two Q’s and three Moneypennies. Thanks to the films, Fleming’s original creation has been transformed from a black sheep of the post-war English upper classes into a figure with universal appeal, constantly evolving to keep pace with changing social and political circumstances. Having interviewed people concerned with all aspects of the films, Sinclair McKay is ideally placed to describe how the Bond ‘brand’ has been managed over the years as well as to give us the inside stories of the supporting cast of Bond girls, Bond villains, Bond cars and Bond gadgetry. Sinclair McKay, formerly assistant features editor of the Daily Telegraph, works as a freelance writer and journalist. He is also the author of A Thing of Unspeakable Horror: The History of Hammer Films, which the Guardian called ‘A splendid history’ and the Independent on Sunday described as ‘Brisk, cheerful and enthusiastic.’

    A really good joke, like a great poem, memorable song lyric, razor-sharp anecdote, or Zen koan, is a portal of discovery—it can get a meaningful message across in a way that’s clear, humorous, and practical. It’s the secret weapon of every great comedian—there’s the joke, and then there’s the subtext of the joke, and that can mean serious business. A funny, funny joke about a therapist and his patient conveys, for example, an important lesson on the power of communication. A surprising joke about a tribal shaman and the weather service turns into a necessary critique on how we should view experts.

    Ten Illustrated Essays About Scrubs

    Traveling from the '60s to the '90s, it showcases the cheapest, the tackiest, and the mechanically inept, including cars made by companies like Porsche and BMW that put them to shame. There's also the blobby Merkur Scorpio, the ungainly Rolls-Royce Camargue, the squarish Maserati Biturbo, and the (ironically) flammable Renault Fuego. Each photo spread is accompanied by a short, hilarious critique by Richard Porter, a crap car expert, who sees straight through all the pimped-out bodywork to the true lemon that lies underneath.Crap Cars is the perfect gift for anyone who loves cars or the casualties of bad taste, or for that special someone who misses their own beloved, long-gone piece of crap.