144 pp. Ages 14 and up. Pub: 3/98.

    isn't it?'A John Cleese Twitter question ['What is your pet peeve?'], first sparked the 'Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops' blog, which grew over three years into one bookseller's collection of ridiculous conversations on the shop floor. From 'Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?' to the hunt for a paperback which could forecast the next year's weather; and from 'I've forgotten my glasses, please read me the first chapter' to 'Excuse me... is this book edible?: here is a book for heroic booksellers and booklovers everywhere.This full-length collection illustrated by the Brothers McLeod also includes top 'Weird Things' from bookshops around the world.

    Because no book of this ilk should be without tit-bits and silliness. If nothing else it's fun to say tit-bits. Repeat after me: tit-bits. You're welcome.I hope you enjoy seeing the scripts in their pure written form on the page before they translated to what you have seen on screen. And if you're a lovely young person still at school let me know if your drama teacher ever lets you do an episode for the school play. Nothing would make me happier. Though I bagsy play Miranda. Your favourite, number one bestselling, comedian Miranda Hart is giving you an access-all-areas VIP backstage pass to her award-winning sitcom.Miranda Hart has won bundles of awards, written a bestselling book and completed a sell-out nationwide tour.But it was her award-winning BBC sitcom Miranda which first made her a much-loved household name. Here Miranda gives us an access-all-areas VIP backstage pass to Miranda the sitcom. The Best of Miranda is a beautiful and hilarious book which will delight Miranda's many fans and earn her many new ones.

    Brian Jackson, a working-class kid on full scholarship, has started his first term at university. He has a dark secret—a long-held, burning ambition to appear on the wildly popular British TV quiz show University Challenge—and now, finally, it seems the dream is about to become reality. He's made the school team, and they've completed the qualifying rounds and are limbering up for their first televised match. (And, what's more, he's fallen head over heels for one of his teammates, the beautiful, brainy, and intimidatingly posh Alice Harbinson.) Life seems perfect and triumph inevitable—but as his world opens up, Brian learns that a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

    are you the type of person who:- thinks books are quite good- has never held a book before and would like to try holding one for a day- is completely normal and just wants to look at something- is fed up- would rather be dead- is frightened of what tomorrow may bring- is curious- needs a bit of motivation- wants to feel more positive about your lifethen this is the book for youbecause the words and pictures inside of this book will instantly make you feel more positive about yourself even after just having a look at them for about a second or 3 secondswhat happens to your body when you have no motivation:when you have no motivation it is like a wall of sadness has been built up inside of yourself and it is this wall that stops all of the happy things in the world from getting inside of your body so take my book and use it to break down the wall of sadness brick by brick so that happiness can climb back inside of your body and live there for the rest of your dayslove from your friend Chris (Simpsons artist) xox

    In this sly critique of contemporary relationships, Reza skillfully picks apart the friendship of three men via a bowl of olives and a white-on-white painting. Now translated into more than 30 languages, Art continues to be performed worldwide, even as Reza's other plays have garnered similar acclaim. Life x 3, Reza's most recent offering, again highlights her satirical wit as two couples face off in three different versions of the dinner from hell. Praised as "compact, cool and clever" by Christopher Isherwood of Variety, Reza uses the acidic exchanges of her characters to illuminate their inner desire for love and acceptance. Also included in this edition are two earlier plays, The Unexpected Man and Conversations After a Burial. Each elucidates the startling difference between public and private life, be it in the confines of a train compartment or a country estate in the aftermath of a loved one's passing.

    There's the pure and bounteous joy of the nail varnish museum. Not to mention the very best lies to tell if you find yourself on an Arctic cruise. She has words of advice for those fast approaching fifty. And she's here to tell you the secret secret truth about writers - well, this one anyway.You'll be wincing in recognition and scratching your head in incredulity, but like Marian herself you won't be able to stop laughing at the sheer delightful absurdity that is modern life - because each and every one of us is clearly making it up as we go along.

    Symptoms include:*Acute embarrassment at the mere notion of making a fuss;*Extreme awkwardness when faced with any social greeting beyond a brisk handshake;*An unhealthy preoccupation with meteorology.Doctors have also reported several cases of unnecessary apologising, an obsessive interest in correct queuing etiquette and dramatic sighing in the presence of loud teenagers on public transport. If you have experienced any of these symptoms, you may be suffering from VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS. VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS are highly contagious. There is no known cure.Rob Temple's hilarious new book reveals all the ways in which we are a nation of socially awkward but well-meaning oddballs, struggling to make it through every day without apologising to an inanimate object. Take comfort in misfortunes of others. You are not alone.

    Alfred Jones, life is a quiet mixture of civil service at the National Centre for Fisheries Excellence and marriage to Mary—an ambitious, no-nonsense financier. But a strange turn of fate from an unexpected direction forces Jones to upend his existence and spend all of his time in pursuit of another man’s ludicrous dream. Can there be salmon in the Yemen? Science says no. But if resources are limitless and the visionary is inspired, maybe salmon fishing in the Yemen isn’t impossible. Then again, maybe nothing is.

    Small but beautifully formed pieces of Shaun Micallef.

    Despite what David Miliband might think

    The planes break, the regs break, metal gets bent, students are lost at sea, and a Top Gun wannabe student, who has four hundred hours of flight instruction, still hasn’t made his first solo flight. “CFI! The Book” is an over-the-top satirical aviation comedy that’s loosely based on real world experiences of flight instruction, but if the FAA asks, this is all strictly fictional.

    Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.

    So Burt and Verona head out on the road, across America, looking for the right place to call home. Along the way they encounter a succession of strange and hilarious friends and relatives (played by a cast that includes Jeff Daniels, Catherine O’Hara, Maggie Gyllenhall, Josh Hamilton, Allison Janney, and Jim Gaffigan), most of whom have no idea what they’re doing. In the end—with and despite the help of those they meet on their journey—Burt and Verona come closer to an understanding of their own definition of home and family.

    The newest screenplay from the Oscar®-nominated writers of Election and About Schmidt, Sideways is the tale of two men's adventure in California wine country.Based on Rex Pickett's acclaimed first novel, Sideways tells the story of Miles (Paul Giamatti), a failed novelist, and his soon-to-be-married friend Jack (Thomas Haden Church), a washed-up actor.To salute the remains of their youth, the two men take one last road trip in the week before Jack's wedding.A serious wine enthusiast, Miles is determined to educate his friend on the region's beloved Pinot Noir wines before the week is out.Jack indulges his best friend's passion for the grape but is mainly interested in living his last week of bachelorhood to the hilt.Trouble ensues with wine and women (Virginia Madsen and Sandra Oh), and the duo comes to some profound realizations as they come to terms with maturity.