But sometimes, it just sucks. I know. I'm Amber Dusick and I started my blog Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures because I needed a place to vent about the funny (and frustrating) day-to-day things that happened to me as a parent. Turns out, poop is hilarious! At least when you're not the one wiping it up.This book won't make your frustrating moments any less crappy. But these stories about my Crappy Baby, Crappy Boy and my husband, Crappy Papa, will hopefully make you laugh. Because you're not alone. And sometimes the crappiest moments make the best memories. Parenting is wonderful! And also, well, you know.

    Now in the delightfully candid, outlandishly funny Waiting for Birdy, Newman charts the year she anticipated the birth of her second child while also coping with the realities of raising a toddler. As she navigates life with her existentially curious and heartbreakingly sweet three-year-old, and her doozy of a pregnancy, she lends her irresistibly unique voice to the secret thoughts and fears of parents everywhere. Filled with quirky warmth and razor-sharp wit, Waiting for Birdy captures the universal wonder, terror, humor, and tenderness of raising a family.

    Move over Lamaze and Bradley! Already taking the west coast by storm, the McMoyler Method offers a modern, medically savvy approach to labor and delivery that addresses the hopes and fears of todays about helping moms cope, involving partners every step of the way, and working with doctors and nurses for the best birth-no matter how it happens.

    They make you cringe, they make you groan but the one thing they have in common is they come from dad. Be it during a wedding toast or when introducing your dad to someone you want to impress, dad never fails to insert a dad joke wherever he can.This dad joke book makes a great gift for the dad who has everything and has heard everything. Or maybe you want to buy it for yourself and come prepared the next time dad wants to have a joke off.In any event, 101 So Bad, They're Good Dad Jokes will have your eyes rolling into the back of your head faster than dad can strip to his tighty-whities on a hot summer day!* Week of June 10, 2018

    

    We'd just toss out our birth control pills and before we knew it, we'd be rocking our little one to sleep. Little did we know what was in store for us, or the energy it would take to face all of the crazy, unpredictable and (sometimes) irrational emotions we felt along the way. Neither did our husbands. Sound familiar?If your idea of foreplay is screaming, "I'm ovulating; it's time!!!" to your oblivious husband... If your ovulation schedule is ruling your life and every trip to the drug store includes a bulk purchase of pregnancy sticks... If you're running out of answers to the chronic questioning from the pregnancy paparazzi about your plans for parenthood ... Then this is the book for you. Whether it's been three months or three years since you've been trying, the more complicated and overwhelming the process becomes.The Conception Chronicles shares candid humor, hold-nothing-back banter and practical advice on everything that goes along with trying to start a family: from dealing with your fertile friends to the battery of tests you may have to face; from surviving "sex on demand" to navigating the ins and outs of high-tech fertility treatments. This book will guide you through the emotional journey to motherhood, offering compassion and laughter like only your best girlfriends can. And we promise you'll never hear us say, "Relax and you'll be pregnant in no time."

    At 32 years old, the recently married author found herself suddenly surrounded by babies, and the expectation of family and friends that she would soon have one herself. Altman’s ambivalence prompted a search for the meaning of motherhood –– one that led her to wear a fake pregnancy belly, attend pre-natal yoga classes, debate experts, and even tend to her very own crying plastic baby. Her reporting led to a surprising and uplifting lesson about life, love and the choices we make. “Baby Steps” is what to expect when you’re not expecting –– a heartfelt and hilarious guide to making the most important decision of your life.After graduating from Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism, Mara Altman worked as a staff writer for The Village Voice. In 2009, HarperCollins published Altman's first book, Thanks For Coming: A Young Woman's Quest for an Orgasm, which was optioned as a comedy series by HBO. She has published three best-selling Kindle Singles, and has also written for New York Magazine and The New York Times.Cover design by Adil Dara Kim. Cover photograph by Christopher Lane. Illustrations by Mara Altman.

    She’s still smoking hot, but telling jokes about farting on men’s balls isn’t helping her find The One...Hilarious, sweet, and bitingly honest, Cherry On Top reveals how one gorgeous, potty-mouthed blonde took back Hollywood in middle age, and embarked on a fresh search for love―one fart joke at a time.

    You'll also get to see a little of his "staycations" and life at home between travels.Jet-setting is what dachshunds do best. From Switzerland’s Alps and Mexico’s Mayan temples to Italy’s seaside villages and France’s Eiffel Tower—as well as various locales throughout the U.S. and Canada—Crusoe shares his wit and wisdom on appreciating culture, fine wine, and haute cuisine, always dressing for the occasion, and maybe learning a thing or two about what really matters most in life along the way.In hundreds of brilliant color photographs, see the charming and charismatic mini-doxie embark on such thrilling adventures as…* Hitting the streets of New York City as The Wiener of Wall Street* Stalking evildoers as Batdog * Strolling Hollywood’s Walk of Fame (with his own star)* Going out on a dinner and movie date with the lovely Paisley* Digging for fossils at Dinosaur Provincial Park* Playing doctor and dentist to his sidekick brother, Oakley* Drinking at the notorious Bar Vitelli, shooting location of The Godfather* Recovering from back surgery with lots of love and rehabilitating in style * Tasting a beignet at New Orleans’s famous Café du Monde* Exploring his German heritage as a “badger dog”—and discovering what wiener schnitzel actually is…And so much more!

    All her friends seem to get pregnant, but she can't conceive for all her trying. As Phoebe and her husband, Jeff, navigate the emotionally and physically fraught world of fertility experts, she takes stock of what matters in the rest of her life and reflects on the winding journey to her true calling as an artist. From her days as an amateur union organizer in Texas to her spiral into paralyzing depression in Mexico; from her soul-shrinking, all-for-the-benefits stint as an administrative assistant at a fancy university in Cambridge to her flirtation with rabbinical school, Phoebe illuminates the bumpy road to vocational and personal contentment. Her wonderful, hilarious, and utterly original drawings capture the truly good eggs—an unforgettably nutty mother; a devoted husband; a team of therapists, hairdressers, and landladies; friends; and a sidekick housecat—that together expand the definition of what really makes a family.

    It is filled with practical advice from specialists who work with expectant mothers and their twins every day.From the moment the expectant mom knows she's getting more than she expected, Twins! provides complete information on pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum experience:Your relationship with your practitionerPre-pregnancy planningFetal and embryonic developmentHealthy weight gain for expectant mothersOnce the babies are born, Twins! sees the whole family through the exciting and challenging first year, examining such issues as:Sleeping and feeding schedulesYour babies as individualsRedefining the family and supporting the needs of other childrenSurvival tips for extra-busy parentsInsightful roundtable discussions with other parents of twinsNew in this second edition:Complimentary medical practices, including acupuncture, supplements and herbs—as well as current safety guidelines for the use of prescription and over-the-counter medications3-D ultrasound images of developing twinsWhat parents need to know about immunizations and their safetyAn up-to-date resource guide to twin-specific organizations, periodicals, and Internet linksAnd much more!Twins! gives you all the information you need to have a safe and sound twin pregnancy so you can concentrate on the joy of raising happy, healthy children.Congratulations!

    As hilarious as it is universal, each chapter presents a common parenting scenario with advice on how to get through it in the easiest and most efficient way possible. With chapters such as “How to Sleep Until 9 A.M. Every Weekend” and “When Seeing an Infant Triggers a Mental Illness That Makes You Want to Have Another Baby,” as well as a Sh*tty Mom quiz, this is a must-have, laugh-out-loud funny book for the sh*tty parent in all of us.Praise for Sh*tty Mom:“A totally hilarious and uncensored look at some of the impossible situations we mothers find ourselves in.” —TheBump.com“Smartly, brashly, nearly criminally funny. It also—no small thing—carries a powerful message to all parents, but especially moms, that distilled to its essence is this: chill.” —Time.com“As the attachment parenting craze has hit a zenith in American culture, four very funny moms—comedy writers, TV producers, and a novelist—blast open a long-locked safe filled with frustrations faced by all modern mothers, with sympathetic and sharp humor. . . . The authors’ unfiltered candor is a welcome reminder for readers that they're not alone. . . .” —Publishers Weekly starred review“Both funny and practical.” —Brooklyn Based.net "Hilariously entertaining. A must-read survivor's guide for every mother!" --Christy Turlington Burns, founder of Every Mother Counts“Finally, Sh*tty Mom does for motherhood what Chelsea Handler does for female scatology. It’s a long overdue little burst of honesty from the supposed minority of mothers who are, in fact, not that maternal. . . . After a generation of supermoms one-upping each other in dead earnest on playgrounds and schoolyards, the emerging mass appeal of Sh*tty Mom is a welcome relief.” —The New York Observer"Witty, wise, and wicked! With tongue planted firmly in cheek, these savvy moms dispense some much needed comic relief about raising kids in our crazy culture."?--Dr. Harvey Karp, bestselling author of The Happiest Baby on the Block “The most inappropriate parenting book I've ever read. Loved it. The perfect book for any mother who wants to laugh instead of cry at those cringe-worthy moments and the universal indignities we experience on a daily basis.”--Jessica Seinfeld, bestselling cookbook author and founder of Baby Buggy “An antidote to the hostage situation that is modern parenting…subversive, delicious, and spit-out-your-latte funny.” --Pamela Druckerman, bestselling author of Bringing Up Bebe

    Despite the fact that roughly one in four babies in the United States is delivered by c-section, very little information about the experience is included in typical pregnancy books and physicians and childbirth educators often gloss over the details.The Essential C-Section Guide is written not only for women to read in preparation for a scheduled c-section and for those considered “high risk” who know that a c-section may become necessary but also for women recovering from an unexpected surgical delivery. This book provides answers to important questions about what the surgery entails, what a woman can expect as she recovers, and what considerations should be made for future pregnancies and deliveries.With frank discussions about the physical and emotional aspects surrounding a c-section, the authors share comforting wisdom about early bonding, pain control, breastfeeding, infant care, healing from surgery, postpartum exercise, partner involvement, and much more, in detail not available anywhere else.Written by authors who have firsthand knowledge of birth by c-section, The Essential C-Section Guide is well-researched and addresses its unique concerns with intelligence and compassion.www.broadwaybooks.com

    It also contains descriptions and eight pages of in-utero photographs."

    Molly gives us his unforgettable encounters with The Beatles, Elton John, David Bowie, The Rolling Stones, Madonna, John Farnham, Bruce Springsteen, the Bee Gees, Rod Stewart, Russell Crowe, Oasis, Beyonce and Prince. As well as the tales that surround his other loves: the Australian cricket team, the St Kilda footy club and the Melbourne Storm."I have a lot of love for the great Ian 'Molly' Meldrum" - Shane WarneNo one has lived a life like Ian 'Molly' Meldrum. And no one can tell a story like Molly.