Book picks similar to
The Dark Side of Close Relationships by Spitzberg


psychology
psychology-sociology
xx-computer
about-ot-under-400p

The Secret Wife


Linda Kavanagh - 2013
    The university lecturer has got her man, her dress and her hopes of a long and happy life with stockbroker Jeff. But the man of her dreams isn't all that he seems, and before long dark clouds are gathering on the horizon...Sadly, Laura has little option but to end her marriage. But leaving Jeff doesn't bring an end to the heartache. In fact, the nightmare is only beginning. Jeff seems to be everywhere, and his vindictiveness knows no bounds...A bewildered Laura finds herself cornered and vulnerable as her life spirals out of control.But the seeds of Laura's present dilemma may well be rooted in her past, a past she knows little about. And that lack of knowledge could lead to her downfall, or even her death. What can Jeff possibly know about her past? And how can Laura fight back, when she doesn't even know what she's fighting for - or why?

Influencer: The Power to Change Anything


Kerry Patterson - 2007
    You'll be taught each and every step of the influence process-including robust strategies for making change inevitable in your personal life, your business, and your world. You'll learn how to:- Identify a handful of high-leverage behaviors that lead to rapid and profound change.- Apply strategies for changing both thoughts and actions.- Marshall six sources of influence to make change inevitable.Influencer takes you on a fascinating journey from San Francisco to Thailand where you'll see how seemingly “insignificant” people are making incredibly significant improvements in solving problems others would think impossible. You'll learn how savvy folks make change not only achievable and sustainable, but inevitable. You'll discover why some managers have increased productivity repeatedly and significantly-while others have failed miserably.

Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives


Nicholas A. Christakis - 2008
    Your colleague's husband's sister can make you fat, even if you don't know her. A happy neighbor has more impact on your happiness than a happy spouse. These startling revelations of how much we truly influence one another are revealed in the studies of Dr. Christakis and Fowler, which have repeatedly made front-page news nationwide. In Connected, the authors explain why emotions are contagious, how health behaviors spread, why the rich get richer, even how we find and choose our partners. Intriguing and entertaining, Connected overturns the notion of the individual and provides a revolutionary paradigm-that social networks influence our ideas, emotions, health, relationships, behavior, politics, and much more. It will change the way we think about every aspect of our lives.

The Pursuit of Attention: Power and Ego in Everyday Life


Charles Derber - 1979
    Even the Oxford English Dictionary reveals a modern coinage to reflect the chase in our technological age: ego-surfing--searching the Internet for occurrences of your own name. What is the cause of this obsessive need for others' recognition? This useful and popular volume, now in a second edition that features major new introductory and concluding essays, entertainingly ponders this question. Derber argues that there is a general lack of social support in today's America, one which causes people to vie hungrily for attention, and he shows how individuals will often employ numerous techniques to turn the course of a conversation towards themselves. Illustrating this conversational narcissism with sample dialogues that will seem disturbingly familiar to all readers, this book analyzes the pursuit of attention in conversation--as well as in politics and celebrity culture--and demonstrates the ultimate importance of gender, class, and racial differences in competing for attention. Derber shows how changes in the economy and culture--such as the advent of the Internet--have intensified the rampant individualism and egotism of today. And finally, in a new afterword, he focuses on solutions: how to restructure the economy and culture to humanize ourselves and increase the capacity for community, empathy, and attention-giving.

Conflict is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair


Sarah Schulman - 2016
    Illuminating the difference between Conflict and Abuse, Schulman directly addresses our contemporary culture of scapegoating. This deep, brave, and bold work reveals how punishment replaces personal and collective self-criticism, and shows why difference is so often used to justify cruelty and shunning. Rooting the problem of escalation in negative group relationships, Schulman illuminates the ways cliques, communities, families, and religious, racial, and national groups bond through the refusal to change their self-concept. She illustrates how Supremacy behavior and Traumatized behavior resemble each other, through a shared inability to tolerate difference.This important and sure to be controversial book illuminates such contemporary and historical issues of personal, racial, and geo-political difference as tools of escalation towards injustice, exclusion, and punishment, whether the objects of dehumanization are other individuals in our families or communities, people with HIV, African Americans, or Palestinians. Conflict Is Not Abuse is a searing rejection of the cultural phenomenon of blame, cruelty, and scapegoating, and how those in positions of power exacerbate and manipulate fear of the "other" to achieve their goals.Sarah Schulman is a novelist, nonfiction writer, playwright, screenwriter, journalist and AIDS historian, and the author of eighteen books. A Guggenheim and Fulbright Fellow, Sarah is a Distinguished Professor of the Humanities at the City University of New York, College of Staten Island. Her novels published by Arsenal include Rat Bohemia, Empathy, After Delores, and The Mere Future. She lives in New York.

If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?: My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating


Alan Alda - 2017
    With his trademark humor and frankness, Alan Alda explains what makes the out-of-the-box techniques he developed after his years as the host of Scientific American Frontiers so effective. This book reveals what it means to be a true communicator, and how we can communicate better, in every aspect of our lives—with our friends, lovers, and families, with our doctors, in business settings, and beyond.

No one understands you, and what to do about it


Heidi Grant Halvorson - 2015
    Our usual approach is to just talk louder, to try harder to get our message through. This is almost always the wrong approach.Why? Because other people almost never see us the way we see ourselves. Fortunately, these distortions in perception are systematic, understandable, and surmountable.Heidi Grant Halvorson, bestselling author of Nine Things Successful People Do Differently and Focus, now shows you how to communicate effectively—despite these unintentional (yet widespread) distortions of perception. By better understanding how communication and perception really work, you’ll learn to send the right signals at the right time, no matter who you’re communicating with.

Interpersonal Conflict


Joyce L. Hocker - 1978
    Its combination of up-to-date research and examples, gives students theoretical as well as a practical foundation in conflict management.

The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over


Jack Schafer - 2015
    As a Special Agent for the FBI’s National Security Division’s Behavioral Analysis Program, Dr. Jack Schafer developed dynamic and breakthrough strategies for profiling terrorists and detecting deception. Now, Dr. Schafer has evolved his proven-on-the-battlefield tactics for the day-to-day, but no less critical battle of getting people to like you. In The Like Switch, he presents these techniques for how you can influence, attract, and win people over. Learn how to think and react like your favorite TV investigators from Criminal Minds or CSI as Dr. Schafer shows you how to improve your LQ (Likeability Quotient), “spot the lie” both in person and online, master nonverbal cues that influence how people perceive you, and turn up or turn down the intensity of a relationship. Dr. Schafer cracks the code on making great first impressions, building lasting relationships, and understanding others’ behavior to learn what they really think about you. With tips and techniques that hold the key to taking control of your communications, interactions, and relationships, The Like Switch shows you how to read others and get people to like you for a moment or a lifetime.

For Single People Who Still Understand the Value of Relationships


Rob Hill Sr. - 2012
    This book gives vital insight on the different dynamics of relationships and love in an uncanny fashion. Relationship expert, Rob Hill, is setting a new standard for singles, new couples, as well as seasoned lovers. Not only will they value relationships more, they’ll have a better understanding of what it takes to date, relate, and grow as individuals to better their chances of finding, enjoying, and sustaining a healthy relationship in today’s times. This book is fun, energetic, and filled with wisdom. Get ready for the journey of a lifetime.Courtesy of Amazon.com

Listening Well


William R. Miller - 2018
    Through clear explanation, specific examples, and practical exercises, Dr. Miller offers a step-by-step process for developing your skillfulness in empathic listening. With a solid basis in sixty years of scientific research, these communication skills are not limited to professionals, and can be learned and applied in your everyday life. Instead of assuming that you know the meaning of what you think you heard, empathic listening lets you develop a more accurate understanding and prevent miscommunication. Empathic understanding can help to deepen personal relationships, alleviate conflict, communicate across differences, and promote positive change. The author also discusses skills for expressing yourself clearly, and for strengthening close relationships and friendships. Through empathic understanding you have access to life experience far beyond your own, and over time, listening well and deeply becomes a way of being, fostering a compassionate and patient acceptance of human frailties--those of others as well as your own. ""The quality of empathic listening that Carl Rogers brought to us decades ago, that unlocks treasures of intimacy, trust, peace and healing, is alive and well in Bill Miller's own unique voice, as he extends the meanings of this vital relational element for today's world. Readily integrated into our everyday lives and the larger cultures of human conflict, my hope is that we choose to live out the delicate yet strong principles of connection that Listening Well offers us."" --Gay Leah Barfield, Co-Founder and Former Director, Carl Rogers Institute for Peace, Center for Studies of the Person, La Jolla, California ""If there ever was a time for Listening Well, it is now. In its pages, we learn to use our ears to dissolve differences, open hearts, and build bridges. Nothing more needs saying."" --Scott D. Miller, Director, International Center for Clinical Excellence ""Listening Well is a super moon in the dark night sky: brilliant, absorbing, and illuminating. Bill Miller, co-developer of the revolutionary motivational interviewing, blends art and science in teaching the quintessential skills of listening and in fostering human connection."" --John C. Norcross, Professor of Psychology, University of Scranton ""Listening Well is a terrific, hands-on book for individuals or groups dedicated to caring relationships. Full of insight and practical exercises to improve listening skills, I highly recommend it to professionals and lay people alike."" --Debra Engquist, Retired Pastor ""Listening Well is about much more than listening. This short, easy-to-read book provides a brief course in human relationships. With many useful explanations, examples, and exercises, the author demonstrates the what, why, and how of empathy in human interaction. The book is eminently useful for those who want to or need to improve their listening and relationship skills at work or in personal settings."" --Howard Kirschenbaum, Former Chair, Counseling and Human Development, University of Rochester Dr. William R. Miller is Emeritus Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of New Mexico, with over forty years of experience in teaching empathic understanding. His many books include Lovingkindness, Quantum Change, Motivational Interviewing, and Portals: Two Lives Intertwined by Adoption.

The Way We Never Were: American Families & the Nostalgia Trap


Stephanie Coontz - 1992
    Placing current family dilemmas in the context of far-reaching economic, political, and demographic changes, Coontz sheds new light on such contemporary concerns as parenting, privacy, love, the division of labor along gender lines, the black family, feminism, and sexual practice.

Getting Back Out There: Secrets to Successful Dating and Finding Real Love after the Big Breakup


Susan J. Elliott - 2013
    Based on years of research and work with her own clients, Susan Elliott offers a proven plan that will help you to:Examine past relationships for unfinished business and negative patternsIdentify warning signs and red flagsKeep your standards and boundaries high, even when you're head over heelsWork through rejection, rebounding, and other bumps in the roadDecide when to take a relationship to the next level and when to say goodbyeWith practical rules, strategies, and self-assessments—including tips for dating as a parent and dating online—Getting Back Out There will help you transition from your split to a happy, healthy new relationship.

The Culture Code: An Ingenious Way to Understand Why People Around the World Buy and Live as They Do


Clotaire Rapaille - 2006
    His groundbreaking revelations shed light not just on business but on the way every human being acts and lives around the world. Rapaille’s breakthrough notion is that we acquire a silent system of Codes as we grow up within our culture. These Codes—the Culture Code—are what make us American, or German, or French, and they invisibly shape how we behave in our personal lives, even when we are completely unaware of our motives. What’s more, we can learn to crack the Codes that guide our actions and achieve new understanding of why we do the things we do. Rapaille has used the Culture Code to help Chrysler build the PT Cruiser—the most successful American car launch in recent memory. He has used it to help Procter & Gamble design its advertising campaign for Folger’s coffee – one of the longest-lasting and most successful campaigns in the annals of advertising. He has used it to help companies as diverse as GE, AT&T, Boeing, Honda, Kellogg, and L’Oréal improve their bottom line at home and overseas. And now, in The Culture Code, he uses it to reveal why Americans act distinctly like Americans, and what makes us different from the world around us. In The Culture Code, Dr. Rapaille decodes two dozen of our most fundamental archetypes—ranging from sex to money to health to America itself—to give us “a new set of glasses” with which to view our actions and motivations. Why are we so often disillusioned by love? Why is fat a solution rather than a problem? Why do we reject the notion of perfection? Why is fast food in our lives to stay? The answers are in the Codes. Understanding the Codes gives us unprecedented freedom over our lives. It lets us do business in dramatically new ways. And it finally explains why people around the world really are different, and reveals the hidden clues to understanding us all.

How to Read a Person Like a Book


Gerard I. Nierenberg - 1971
    How to Read a Person Like a Book teaches you how to “decode” and reply to nonverbal signals from strangers, friends, and business associates, allowing you to: gain command of business and social situations; sharpen your negotiating skills; recognize signals of affection and attraction; enrich your knowledge of body language; and much more!Learn the clues that make reading people easy. Gerard Nierenberg’s proven techniques for gaining control of negotiations, detecting lies, or recognizing signals of affection and sexual attraction will dramatically improve your understanding of others, giving you the advantage of added insight into all social and business situations.