Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage


Elizabeth Gilbert - 2009
    Resettling in America, the couple swore eternal fidelity to each other, but also swore to never, ever, under any circumstances get legally married. (Both were survivors of previous bad divorces. Enough said.) But providence intervened one day in the form of the United States government, which-after unexpectedly detaining Felipe at an American border crossing-gave the couple a choice: they could either get married, or Felipe would never be allowed to enter the country again. Having been effectively sentenced to wed, Gilbert tackled her fears of marriage by delving into this topic completely, trying with all her might to discover through historical research, interviews, and much personal reflection what this stubbornly enduring old institution actually is. Told with Gilbert's trademark wit, intelligence and compassion, Committed attempts to "turn on all the lights" when it comes to matrimony, frankly examining questions of compatibility, infatuation, fidelity, family tradition, social expectations, divorce risks and humbling responsibilities. Gilbert's memoir is ultimately a clear-eyed celebration of love with all the complexity and consequence that real love, in the real world, actually entails.

The Future of Love


Daphne Rose Kingma - 1998
    "The future of relationships is moving us toward the vaulting awareness of who we really are as human beings, something we have managed to avoid for a very long time by being so thoroughly committed to convention...This is the future of love--vast love, love beyond boundaries, love without preconceptions and judgments, love without outdated myths--love which can actually be experienced."At a time when over half of all marriages are ending in divorce, Daphne Rose Kingma, a well-known therapist and relationship expert, has recognized that our familiar ways of thinking about relationships are no longer working.  "I have written this book because it is clear that many of our previous assumptions about relationships need to be dismantled," writes Kingma.  "As we go through this process, we will discover a number of new ideas: that our relationships can have different forms than we ever imagined; that they will serve different purposes; that they will require different offerings from us.  They will also bring us new gifts."We are in the midst of a sea change, in which not only are many traditional relationships failing, but unexpected new arrangements are beginning to appear; gay marriages are surfacing, step-families abound, and many people are consciously choosing to live alone.  As Kingma explains, these transformations should not be feared; instead, they represent a real opportunity.  In the past, conventional relationships were often destroyed by an overemphasis on the nuts and bolts of psychology, on working to achieve the unattainable "perfect relationship" while ignoring our most vital selves--our souls.  The glorious message of The Future of Love is that the disturbing changes we are all experiencing are actually part of the soul's plan, as it breaks down outdated conventions to bring us a new, fuller understanding of love.From the Hardcover edition.

Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity


Robert Jensen - 2007
    So argues Robert Jensen in Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity. Jensen’s treatise begins with a simple demand: “Be a man.” It ends with a defiant response: “I chose to struggle to be a human being.” The journey from masculinity to humanity is found in the candid and intelligent exploration of porn’s devastating role in defining masculinity.Getting Off seamlessly blends personal anecdotes from Jensen’s years as a feminist anti-pornography activist with scholarly research. In his trademark conversational style, he shows how mainstream pornography reinforces social definitions of manhood and influences men’s attitudes about women and how to treat them.Pornography is a thriving multi-billion-dollar industry; it drives the direction of emerging media technology. Pornography also makes for complicated politics. These days, anti-porn arguments are assumed to be “anti-sex” and thus a critical debate is silenced. This book breaks that silence. Alarming and thought-provoking, Getting Off asks tough, but crucial, questions about pornography, sex, manhood, and the way toward genuine social justice.Robert Jensen is an associate professor in the School of Journalism at the University of Texas at Austin. He is the author of The Heart of Whiteness: Confronting Race, Racism and White Privilege and Citizens of the Empire: The Struggle to Claim Our Humanity.

Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality


Darrel Ray - 2012
    It ventures into territory that has never been examined. You will be surprised at how much religion has influenced your sexuality, who you marry, the pleasure you get or don't get from sex, and what you can do about it.

T: The Story of Testosterone, the Hormone that Dominates and Divides Us


Carole Hooven - 2021
    Mythologized. Controversial.A Harvard evolutionary biologist debunks the myths and cultural stereotypes surrounding testosterone and reveals its far-reaching effects on gender and sexuality, sports, relationships, and many more aspects of our everyday lives.The biological source of virility and masculinity has inspired fascination, investigation, and controversy since antiquity. From the eunuchs in the royal courts of ancient China to the booming market for “elixirs” of youth in nineteenth-century Europe, humans have been obsessed with identifying and manipulating what we now know as testosterone. And the trends show no signs of slowing down—the modern market for testosterone supplements is booming. Thanks to this history and the methods of modern science, today we have a rich body of research about testosterone’s effects in both men and women.The science is clear: testosterone is a major, invisible player in our relationships, sex lives, athletic abilities, childhood play, gender transitions, parenting roles, violent crime, and so much more. But there is still a lot of pushback to the idea that it does, in fact, cause sex differences and significantly influence behavior.Carole Hooven argues in T that acknowledging testosterone as a potent force in society doesn’t reinforce stifling gender norms or patriarchal values. Testosterone and evolution work together to produce a huge variety of human behavior, and that includes a multitude of ways to be masculine or feminine. Understanding the science sheds light on how we work and relate to one another, how we express anger and love, and how we can fight bias and problematic behavior to build a more fair society.

How to Fall Out of Love: How to Free Yourself of Love That Hurts--And Find the Love That Heals...


Debora Phillips - 1985
    This is a healing book, one t hat can help people overcome the pain of loving someone who does not or cannot them back. If you--or someone you care about--are struggling to recover from the loss of a lover, or to end a dead-end affair, this will come as a godsend. Nationally renowned Dr. Debora Phillips give you the complete proven program that lets you: --diminish, then dismiss a destructive love--say goodbye to jealousy--rebuild your inner strength and confidence--discover and enjoy a new love that is right for you.

The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain, and Illness


Miriam Kaufman - 2003
    For sufferers of ailments from chronic fatigue syndrome and spinal cord injury to multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, and others, the book provides encouragement, support, and expert information on sex positions, orgasm, and sex toys. It also features illustrations, a resource guide with hundreds of books, websites, and organizations.

Temporarily Yours: Intimacy, Authenticity, and the Commerce of Sex


Elizabeth Bernstein - 2007
    Yet in both the developing world and in postindustrial cities of the West, sexual commerce has continued to flourish, diversifying along technological, spatial, and social lines. In this deeply engaging and theoretically provocative study, Elizabeth Bernstein examines the social features that undergird the expansion and diversification of commercialized sex, demonstrating the ways that postindustrial economic and cultural formations have spawned rapid and unforeseen changes in the forms, meanings, and spatial organization of sexual labor.Drawing upon dynamic and innovative research with sex workers, their clients, and state actors, Bernstein argues that in cities such as San Francisco, Stockholm, and Amstersdam, the nature of what is purchased in commercial sexual encounters is also new. Rather than the expedient exchange of cash for sexual relations, what sex workers are increasingly paid to offer their clients is an erotic experience premised upon the performance of authentic interpersonal connection. As such, contemporary sex markets are emblematic of a cultural moment in which the boundaries between intimacy and commerce—and between public life and private—have been radically redrawn. Not simply a compelling exploration of the changing landscape of sex-work, Temporarily Yours ultimately lays bare the intimate intersections of political economy, desire, and culture.

Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women


Julia R. Heiman - 1977
    Becoming Orgasmic will help you: -Evaluate your sexual history and put it in perspective -Explore your body through touch -Understand the effects of pregnancy, menstruation, and menopause on sexual desire and response -Be comfortable with your body and yourself as a woman -Share self-discovery with your partner -Find techniques to try if something turns you off -Overcome the fear of orgasm -Learn how to bring yourself to orgasm -Practice safe sex in today's world—precautionary measures, social expectations, personal values, and choosing a partner in the age of AIDS A personal and sensitively written book that is also informative, Becoming Orgasmic is designed to make you feel good about your sexuality and yourself.

Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone


Eric Klinenberg - 2012
    In 1950, only 22 percent of American adults were single. Today, more than 50 percent of American adults are single, and 31 million, roughly one out of every seven adults, live alone. People who live alone make up 28 percent of all U.S. households, which makes them more common than any other domestic unit, including the nuclear family. In Going Solo, renowned sociologist and author Eric Klinenberg proves that these numbers are more than just a passing trend. They are, in fact, evidence of the biggest demographic shift since the Baby Boom: we are learning to go solo, and crafting new ways of living in the process.Klinenberg explores the dramatic rise of solo living, and examines the seismic impact it’s having on our culture, business, and politics. Though conventional wisdom tells us that living by oneself leads to loneliness and isolation, Klinenberg shows that most solo dwellers are deeply engaged in social and civic life. In fact, compared with their married counterparts, they are more likely to eat out and exercise, go to art and music classes, attend public events and lectures, and volunteer. There’s even evidence that people who live alone enjoy better mental health than unmarried people who live with others and have more environmentally sustainable lifestyles than families, since they favor urban apartments over large suburban homes. Drawing on over three hundred in-depth interviews with men and women of all ages and every class, Klinenberg reaches a startling conclusion: in a world of ubiquitous media and hyperconnectivity, this way of life can help us discover ourselves and appreciate the pleasure of good company.With eye-opening statistics, original data, and vivid portraits of people who go solo, Klinenberg upends conventional wisdom to deliver the definitive take on how the rise of living alone is transforming the American experience. Going Solo is a powerful and necessary assessment of an unprecedented social change.

Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships


Sue Johnson - 2013
    Love Sense presents new scientific evidence that tells us that humans are meant to mate for life. Dr. Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our "love sense" -- our ability to develop long-lasting relationships.Love is not the least bit illogical or random, but actually an ordered and wise recipe for survival. Love Sense covers the three stages of a relationship and how to best weather them; the intelligence of emotions and the logic of love; the physical and psychological benefits of secure love; and much more. Based on groundbreaking research, Love Sense will change the way we think about love.

The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy


Donna Freitas - 2013
    This pressure comes from all directions—from peers, the media, and even parents. But how do these expectations affect students themselves? And why aren’t parents and universities helping students make better-informed decisions about sex and relationships? In The End of Sex, Donna Freitas uses students’ own testimonies to define hookup culture and propose ways of opting out for those yearning for meaningful relationships. Unless students can find alternatives to hookup culture, Freitas argues, the vast majority will continue to associate sexuality with ambivalence, boredom, isolation, and loneliness instead of the romance, intimacy, and good sex they want and deserve.An honest, sympathetic portrait of the challenges of young adulthood, The End of Sex offers a refreshing take on this charged topic—and a solution that depends not on premarital abstinence or unfettered sexuality, but rather a healthy path between the two.

Good Vibrations Guide to Sex: The Most Complete Sex Manual Ever Written


Cathy Winks - 1994
    For ALL readers--women and men, heterosexual or lesbian, gay, or bisexual--this candid, upbeat guide offers expert advice on all aspects of sexuality:• How to talk about sex and keep your relationships sizzling• Orgasms--G-spot, female ejaculation, and multiple orgasms for both men and women• "If you want the job done right, do it yourself"--Expanded section on masturbation• NEW! Sex Over a Lifetime--Growing up, coming out, pregnancy, parenting, midlife cycles, and aging• NEW! Teens Sexual Bill of Rights• Real stories--Hundreds of real people talk about real sex• NEW! Dealing with disability, depression and other medical issues• Fantasy--Favorite themes, games, and power play• Comprehensive guide to erotica....in print, on screen, and on the internet• NEW! Latest sex toy innovations from cyberskin to microchips• Complete guide to vibrators, dildos, lubricants, and other sex gear, and how to introduce sex toys into your sexual repertoirr

The Loving Dominant


John Warren - 1994
    Out of print for several years, this classic is now available once again, now in a revised and updated second edition in a quality trade binding.From its advice on "Stalking the Wild Submissive" to its extensive Resource Guide, "The Loving Dominant" offers perhaps the greatest breadth of subject of any basic BDSM guide available today -- including some basic toymaking patterns and an entire chapter on BDSM photography!

Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex


Joan Price - 2011
    . . the best is yet to come" (Dr. Dean Edell)Joan Price is talking out loud about a subject that is often ignored or ridiculed in our society: later-life sexuality.In Naked at Our Age, she offers a candid, straight-talking exploration of senior sexuality -- the challenges, the disappointments, and the surprises, as well as the delights of love and passion. She shares the stories of women and men -- coupled and single, straight and gay -- demonstrating how their sex lives and relationships have changed with age, and how their sex lives influence their lives and self-esteem. Along the way, she offers wise advice from sex therapists, health professionals, counselors, sex educators, and other knowledgeable experts, helping seniors to embrace intimacy in all its forms.Entertaining and indispensable, Naked at Our Age is a complete guide to enjoying senior sex, love, passion, and couplehood.