He had no idea why he was so little when all of the other zombies he met were so big. It did not seem fair to him. But after meeting his zombie mentor, Zeb, he learns that he has special powers that will help him survive in the crazy, amazing world of Minecraft. When he later meets a chicken named Harold, his life seems to have taken a turn for the positive. But, a nighttime raid on a village begins the process that will turn his world upside down.... Baby Zeke the Chicken Jockey series and is a must read for gaming fans everywhere!

    It got a karaoke DJ.Leo MacGavin is not the brightest specimen of humanity. But when he inadvertently rescues a flirty alien heiress, he’s promoted from second-rate lounge entertainer to captain of the galaxy’s most sophisticated cruise ship.Before he can flee in terror, a human-hating executive gives Leo an ultimatum—complete the vessel’s maiden voyage or mankind’s last colony will be turned into a sewage dump. To make matters worse, a militant cyborg is undermining his authority, a giant spider is terrifying the passengers, and a sentient plant keeps stealing all the beer.If Leo ever wants to see his home again, he’ll have to keep the guests happy through seven days of onboard antics and madcap shore excursions. As strange malfunctions tear the ship apart, can he hold his rag-tag crew together, or will he flush the last bastion of humanity down the crapper?

    Combining Adam's inimitable comedic voice and four-color illustrations by his friend Michael Narren, Rich Man Poor Man is a hilariously accurate look at what the people born with silver spoons in their mouths have in common with the people whose only utensils are plastic sporks stolen from a Shakey's.

    I always read the description first because, you know, I won’t read just any old thing. So I read the description for this book and thought it looked okay, so then I read the online sample and laughed so hard that a little bit of pee came out. Okay, a lot of pee came out. ALRIGHT! I PEED SO MUCH I HAD TO CHANGE MY PANTS! There, are you happy now? It’s funny, okay? And it isn’t all about vomit and farts either (okay, a lot of it is about vomit and farts, but what’s wrong with that?)*Every Monday at school, Reggie writes an essay that begins with “On the weekend…” WARNING: You might want to have a spare pair of undies handy while you read about Reggie's weekends.*

    But his heart is about to be broken again as Elaine Schrock ignores her love and rejects his courtship in order to care for her only living relative, a grandmother with dementia. Jonah is sure he won’t find love a third time until he starts dating Sarah, a widow with a son. Now Elaine is feeling the heartbreak as it appears Jonah has finally found the happiness he has long sought.

    There are over 100 super-funny and hilarious knock knock jokes created to make you laugh! Over 100 knock knock jokes Excellent for early readers Fun for kids, teens, or adults From the book... Knock knock!Who’s there?Manny!Manny who?Manny times I have knocked on this door!Knock knock!Who’s there?Aitch!Aitch who?Bless You!Knock knock!Who’s there?Boo!Boo who?Don’t cry. It’s just a joke!Comedy, humor, and joke-telling have many positive benefits associated with it. Jokes can bring a smile to the face of others and put you in a great mood! Here are a few more benefits associated with joke-telling: Help you bond with friends and family Lighten tense situations Help you make friends Great conversation starters Perfect for texts and status updates Scroll up and click buy to start laughing today!

    This collection includes 8 traditional British mystery novels: A COIN OF EDWARD VII THE SOLITARY FARM HAGAR OF THE PAWN-SHOP RED MONEY THE BISHOP'S SECRET THE GREEN MUMMY THE MYSTERY OF A HANSOM CAB THE MYSTERY QUEEN

     When Queen Beatrice visits the royal family of Norway, she receives a lovely surprise gift, a cute fluffy kitten. She names the kitten Albert and brings him home to live in the palace. As Albert grows up he gets into all kinds of trouble. Albert has many friends at the palace, including Isabelle the Chambermaid, Gerard the Butler, Angus the Chauffeur, Norman the Grenadier Guard, Princess Sophie, Prince Nicholas and his best friend Sergeant Major, the Magpie. Albert travels to lots of lovely places with the Queen, meets lots of nice people and some not so nice. If Albert does not like you, then watch out. His favourite trick is rubbing his paws on the carpet and giving you a nasty electric shock, which can be painful. Albert loves to roll in smelly horse poo and it’s usually left to Isabelle to bath him before the Queen finds out. Life is good at the palace and Albert makes the most of his position as The Queen’s Cat. In this story Albert wonders if the Queen has remembered his first anniversary at the royal palace and he also meets an unfriendly dog.

    Together, they built the only ship capable of bringing Eli home. But on the eve of their departure, it disappears. Their quest to find it exposes a conspiracy to destroy all life in the universe — a plan they can't stop without their one-of-a-kind ship.For years, Geddy didn't need anything or anyone but a custom-made blaster and a couple fingers of Old Earth whisky. But since triggering the industrial accident that forced the evacuation of Earth 2, he's only had Eli for company. A daring escape off-planet lands him aboard a creaky salvage trawler with a plucky crew and the galaxy's worst business model.But stalwart friends are better than any weapon. With the help of Eli, his oddball crew, and their trusty trawler, Geddy must traverse the cosmos in order to track down his ship and save the universe. Each thrilling, hilarious new adventure brings them closer to the truth but ever farther from a decent steak.If you like solid sci-fi with a generous dose of wit, the scale of Guardians of the Galaxy, and the offbeat alien characters of Men In Black and The Orville, you'll devour Rocket Repo: Book 1 of Reassembly.

    It's his first day and one of the school bullies already found him as an easy target. Jason quickly sees how the bullies (a small gang called the Terror Squad) just do whatever they want to whomever they want. Can Anyone Stop Them? Most of the kids in school just accept things the way they are. They don't think anyone can stand up to the bullies. Jason confidently tells his new friend Amy that he believes things will change soon. Amy thinks he's crazy. Kick! Punch! POW! Ninja Kid to the Rescue! Read along and find out what happens when a secret ninja shows up to challenge the bullies! He has two Chinese throwing stars and nunchucks. He's fast as lightning. No one knows where he came from.. Will they back down or just smash Ninja Kid? Action, Adventure, and Ninja Stealth! 12+ Full Color Illustrations Free Membership to the Arnie Lightning Newsletter Scroll up and buy a copy today to find out what Ninja Boy is all about..

    Longing for what she doesn’t have, the unfulfilled stay-at-home mom goes on a journey of self discovery tainted by the pursuit of a perfect body. An unlikely friendship with fun-loving and thin-obsessed Stacy Vargus leads Sarah down a path she believes will bring her closer to a world she has spent a lifetime chasing, only to realize it doesn’t exist. An unexpected reunion with an old friend unleashes a passion for life Sarah had long forgotten, giving her a new lens through which to view her world.This debut novel by Michelle Cantrell offers an entertaining twist on keeping up with the Joneses while revealing the dangers of losing oneself to the superficial status symbols of suburban life.

    He’s in love with his work colleague Melanie and his only friend Gary is a conspiracy theory nut. His life is going nowhere until he has a Near Death Experience - though Death thinks of it as a Near Dave Experience. He discovers gifts he never knew he possessed and a world he never dreamed existed. A world where the Grim Reaper is a hard drinking, grumpy Billy Joel fan and the undead are bored, lonely and dangerous. This box set contains the first 3 stories in the How To Be Dead series: How To Be Dead Paper Cuts Old Haunts They tell the story of Death and his office staff protecting humanity from ghosts, zombies, vampires and medium-sized apocalypses. After a nice cup of tea and a biscuit. “Dave Turner is a funny man and ‘How To Be Dead’ is a brilliant read.” “If Neil Gaiman and Simon Pegg sat down to write a story together they might come up with something like this.” “Hilarious and unexpectedly moving.” “Laugh out loud funny… It’s been a while since an author has made me laugh more than Pratchett does.”

    The first sufferer is Harold Greensmeyer, who contracts USAC while at the supermarket. He is soon confined to a mental hospital, where he encounters a cast of curious characters – the compulsive psychiatrist who tries to treat him, a woman convinced that she and Harold are fated to marry, and a befuddled cop who believes Harold is a mystic. When USAC spreads and the hospital is quarantined, they escape together in search of answers, love, and a cure.

    A word is described atypically, sometimes using metaphors or quirks of language as misdirection, and you must deduce the word. Many of the riddles take a poetic form reminiscent of older, traditional riddles.Revisions to date: added answer links beneath each riddle (March 17, 2014), replaced or improved some riddles (January 8, 2015), added notes for each answer page (July 24, 2015).

    Everyone dismisses her long-term dream to live in Italy as another ‘mad hippy whim.’ While she’s busy planning other people’s happy endings, grief, eviction and debt nip at her heels. Trying to stabilise her life as an entrepreneur in the middle of an economic crash is almost impossible.When her landlord suddenly doubles the rent, Rosie is left with no choice but to pack up her family, two dogs and possessions into a 20-year-old camper van and head off in search of her own happy ending in sunny Italy.She soon discovers integrating into life in a new country isn’t as easy as it looks on TV, especially when the language is a minefield of accidental sexual innuendo. And trying to buy an abandoned villa in Umbria from eight crazy cousins with a longstanding family battle bubbling under the surface doesn’t make it any easier. While Rosie is determined to create the perfect life for her family in Italy, despite a hurricane, a raucous family dispute and a little thing called a global pandemic to top it all off, she begins to realise that the Italian dream may be too big for her. Will she ever get to live her rosy life in Italy? Or has she bitten off more than she can chew?