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The Bitter Man's Guide to Women
Adam Douglas - 2012
What this book lacks in length, it more than makes up for with ersatz knowledgeability and diagrams. Particularly helpful for guys who have just come out of a long term relationship - but also universally applicable.
The Impending Sausage Sandwich of Doom
Kirk St Moritz - 2017
After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.
Small Town Odds
Jason Headley - 2004
Enormously likable and a habitual screw-up, Eric Mercer has settled into a sometimes raucous, underachieving life in his one-stoplight hometown—a life cobbled together from his part-time activities as bartender at the American Legion, assistant mortician, and father to his beloved 5-year-old daughter, Tess. Tess seems to be the main reason smart, talented, twenty-four-year-old Eric is staying in town, though her mom, a centerfold-quality beauty, would have it otherwise. When Jill, the lost love of his life, returns to Pinely in the same week that the town goes nuts in preparation for the high school football team's Big Game, life unexpectedly shifts into high gear, and Eric must blunder his way toward enlightenment—fast. Authentic and refreshingly unpredictable, Small Town Odds is written with an acute sense of place and character reminiscent of Richard Russo.
A Sister's Shame
Carol Rivers - 2012
Eighteen-year-old twins Marie and Vesta Haskins work at the local shoe factory to bring in a few pennies for the family, but they've never given up on their dream of treading the boards in the West End. When a brand new East End club opens its doors, the girls audition for the show and are over the moon to land two nights a week with their cabaret act. But little do they realise that the villainous Scoresby brothers are using the club as a front for a very different line of business.Seeing what is going on behind the smoke and lights of the stage, sensible Marie vows to leave her job at the club before it is too late, but headstrong Vesta has fallen for the Scoresby's handsome right-hand man, Teddy, and unwittingly leads her whole family into the Scoresby's clutches. Will Marie be able to save her family from disaster? Or will Vesta's determination to become a star tear the Haskins family apart?
Deepwoods Trilogy
Honor Raconteur - 2019
Until it arrives. From the desk of Honor Raconteur comes the tale of one guild, who believes in the impossible, and fight with everything they have to prevent the war they see coming. ~ Contains all three books in the trilogy "Deepwoods," "Blackstone," and "Fallen Ward," as well as "Origins," the collection of short stories.
Cartoons That Will Send Me Straight To Hell
Dan Collins - 2011
He's kind to animals, loves children and helps old ladies across the street. But when he gets a pencil in his hands, he becomes a menace. No subject is too taboo. From dead kittens, to Helen Keller, to organized religion, there's no subject he won't twist. Politically correct? Dan Collins doesn't know the meaning.You've never seen cartoons like this before. This definitely isn't the Sunday funnies. Hilarious, demented and guaranteed to have you clutching your navel between gasps for air. Once you get hold of this book, you'll be convinced that this guy needs serious help before he's doomed to an eternity in hell.Check out this collection of insane cartoons and see if you're as demented as Dan Collins. If you find yourself laughing hysterically at some of the most marvelously bent cartoons ever created, plan on joining him on his decent into the inferno.From an early age Dan was heavily influenced by revolutionary comic artists such as Robert Crumb, B. Kliban, Gahan Wilson and Sam Gross. Coming from small town Ohio to Ohio State University in the early, turbulent 70's was a cultural and political awakening for him that would have a lasting impact. The Vietnam War and the counter culture revolution were the back drop from which this small town choirboy 'innocent' would pen his creations. What emerged were some of the most off the wall cartoons ever drawn.
The Galactic Peace Committee
L.G. Estrella - 2016
In another universe, humanity is overrun by monsters so evil that their very presence dims the light of the stars. In yet another universe, humanity is drawn into an endless battle for dominion over the galaxy. This is not one of those universes. In this universe, humanity is in charge of the Galactic Peace Committee. In theory, the Committee is an unmatched force for good, bringing peace and prosperity to countless worlds and ensuring that conflicts between different races are settled with words and not planet-cracking weaponry or super plagues designed to turn everyone into goo. In theory. Jake Smith is a diplomat. He works for the Committee. This is his story – and it goes about as well as you’d expect. In other words, it doesn’t go very well at all. Can Jake survive petty aliens? Sure. He’s a diplomat. It’s all part of the job. What about angry aliens? Probably. He does have a killer robot for a secretary, and he’s not bad with a shock staff. How about a fleet of aliens out for blood? That… that might be a little bit trickier. The Galactic Peace Committee… keeping peace (sort of) throughout the galaxy.
We Run Bad
John Curry - 2018
After abandoning his new home as a lost cause, he's caught up in the poker craze and moves to Atlantic City with a new dream of "playing poker for a living", but soon finds himself stuck in a dizzying spell of bad luck at the card tables. Or maybe he just sucks at poker, like everybody else. His money all gone, and finding that it's actually difficult to drink oneself to death at 1am, he's suddenly offered a chance to make his money back, and then some, by running an underground poker game in New York City. Once in New York, Tim finds himself on the road to recovery and making real money for the first time—but at what cost? We Run Bad offers an authentic and darkly comic look at underground poker culture, while serving up an indictment of post-recession America. Here, every game is rigged, and the only way to come out ahead is to be the one doing the rigging.
The Best of 2.13.61
Henry Rollins - 1998
Culling over 300 pages of some of today's most thrilling writers, The Best of 2.13.61 Publications hallmarks our company's ten year existence. Excerpts include new material from Henry Rollins and Hubert Selby, Jr, as well as excerpts from Henry Miller's love letters, Nick Zedd's hilarious nihilistic New York urban spelunkings, Ian Shoales' undeniably witty social commentaries and so much more.
Works by David Sedaris: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Books LLC - 2010
Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Holidays on Ice, Santaland Diaries, Barrel Fever. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Naked, published in 1997, is a collection of essays by American humorist David Sedaris. The book details Sedaris life, from his unusual upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, to his booze-and-drug-ridden college years, to his Kerouacian wandering as a young adult. The book became a best-seller and was acclaimed for its wit, dark humor and irreverent tackling of tragic events, including the death of Sedaris mother. Prior to publication, several of the essays were read by the author on the NPR program This American Life. About the early life of the Sedaris family, and David's hopes to one day be rich and famous. It is revealed that the family is actually middle class. A description of Sedaris' obsessive-compulsive and Tourettic tendencies as a child. His behavior quirks include licking light switches and kissing newspapers, and they frequently land him in trouble at school. These tendencies are abandoned when he begins smoking at college. An account of Sedaris' elderly (and slightly senile) grandmother, known as Ya-Ya. After suffering an injury she is forced to live with his family, resulting in tension for all. Eventually, at the urging of Sedaris' mom (who was against Ya-Ya moving in with the family in the first place), she is put into a low-grade nursing home. When she dies, only his father seems to mourn. A description of events regarding a pornographic book that Sedaris finds when he is a child. The book is passed between his siblings, and eventually confiscated by his mother, who in turn reads it. A description of...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=89168
Unreal Aliens
Karthik Laxman - 2016
And it is Modi-led India that has this high honour. Prime Minister Modi rolls out the red carpet for the aliens. He receives them at the airport, shows them the sights in Delhi and convinces them to invest in the Make in India campaign. The leader of the alien delegation even holds a broom to promote Swachh Bharat. But what is the real reason the aliens have come to India? Are they friends? Or will they turn foes? Read this hilarious, rib-tickling novel from the author of Unreal Elections to find out.
Through the Waters
Embassie Susberry - 2015
Cecelia “Sissy” Little thought she had seen the last of Truitt Tate two years ago after he left her cousin at the altar. When he shows up at her door, claiming to be an undercover FBI agent and furthermore, in need of her assistance to play the role as his fiancé, Sissy is less than thrilled. Aside from the fact that Sissy can’t stand Tate, Sissy has worked hard to build a life for her and her nephews in their racially tense town. The last thing she wants is for Tate to come and upset things. Truitt Tate hasn’t always been a gentleman, but he has changed, starting from the moment he first met Sissy Little. He comes to Alabama on assignment for business, but hopes to make it personal. As Tate becomes immersed in the Civil Rights movement and Sissy is forced to face old fears and secrets, will they find out that they have much more in common than they ever thought?
Something's Wrong with Your Scale!: A Romantic Comedy
Van Whitfield - 1999
Nice Guy who's found companionship and comfort with Marsha. The only problem is that he's become too comfortable. Weighing seventy-five pounds more than when the courtship first began, the newly food-obsessed Sonny just can't stay away from Marsha's marvelous dishes, even in the middle of their breakup conversation.Determined to slim down and get his girlfriend back, Sonny joins the FutraSystem weight-loss center and meets potential love interest Kayla, as well as a host of other colorful characters. In a heartwarming tale that is alternately hilarious, wise, and ultimately self-affirming, Whitfield has created a thoroughly delicious and engaging novel sure to be enjoyed by those who have waged the battle of the bulge, or know someone who has.
Action Figure!: The Adventures of Doonesbury's Uncle Duke
G.B. Trudeau - 1992
A chronicle of the adventures and misadventures of the Doonesbury character, Uncle Duke, in trouble spots throughout the world, is accompanied by a five-inch action figure complete with cigarette holder, Uzi, martini glass, and bourbon bottle.
Return to the Big Fancy: A Riotous Descent Into the Depths of Customer, Corporate, and Coworker Hell
Freeman Hall - 2012
But instead of fame and fortune, he found himself stuck behind a wall of script-killing rewrites, unable to make a living.In Return to the Big Fancy, Freeman shares his wildly entertaining journey back through the fiery gates of Retail Hell. He thought he had seen it all in his day, but with the bar set higher than ever before, employees are now graciously bowing before Corporate as they climb over fellow salespeople, and even friends, to earn enough transactions and commissions to actually survive. As he learns more of the wretchedness that has befallen the sales floor, he realizes that The Big Fancy has its customers and its employees on a short leash. But leave it to Freeman and the threat of disappearing commissions to rally the retail slaves and show Corporate who's really in charge!