Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love


Amir Levine - 2010
    F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships-until now.Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes.In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:*ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back.*AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.*SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers readers a wealth of advice on how to navigate their relationships more wisely given their attachment style and that of their partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers readers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.

Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives


Nicholas A. Christakis - 2008
    Your colleague's husband's sister can make you fat, even if you don't know her. A happy neighbor has more impact on your happiness than a happy spouse. These startling revelations of how much we truly influence one another are revealed in the studies of Dr. Christakis and Fowler, which have repeatedly made front-page news nationwide. In Connected, the authors explain why emotions are contagious, how health behaviors spread, why the rich get richer, even how we find and choose our partners. Intriguing and entertaining, Connected overturns the notion of the individual and provides a revolutionary paradigm-that social networks influence our ideas, emotions, health, relationships, behavior, politics, and much more. It will change the way we think about every aspect of our lives.

Professional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual


Luvvie Ajayi Jones - 2021
    But even she's been challenged by the enemy of progress known as fear. She was once afraid to call herself a writer, and nearly skipped out on doing a TED talk that changed her life because of imposter syndrome. As she shares in Professional Troublemaker, she's not alone.We're all afraid. We're afraid of asking for what we want because we're afraid of hearing "no". We're afraid of being different, of being too much or not enough. We're afraid of leaving behind the known for the unknown. But in order to do the things that will truly, meaningfully change our lives, we have to become professional troublemakers: people who are committed to not letting fear talk them out of the things they need to do or say to live free.With humor and honesty, and guided by the influence of her professional troublemaking Nigerian grandmother, Funmilayo Faloyin, Luvvie walks us through what we must get right within ourselves before we can do the things that scare us; how to use our voice for a greater good; and how to put movement to the voice we've been silencing--because truth-telling is a muscle.The point is not to be fearless, but to know we are afraid and charge forward regardless. It is to recognize that the things we must do are more significant than our fears. This book is about how to live boldly in spite of all the reasons we have to cower. Let's go!

The Likeability Trap: How to Break Free and Succeed As You Are


Alicia Menendez - 2019
    An award-winning journalist and cohost of PBS's Amanpour and Company examines likability and empowers readers to reject an outdated image of leadership instead of reinventing themselves.Research shows that the more women succeed, the less likable they become. The minefield is doubly loaded when likability intersects with race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and parental status. Relying on extensive research and interviews, and carefully examined personal experience, The Likability Trap delivers an essential examination of the pressure put on women to be amiable at work, home, and in the public sphere.Rather than advising readers to make themselves likeable, Menendez empowers them to examine how they perceive themselves and others, and breaks down how the subjective nature of likability is riddled with cultural biases and how our demands for it hinder everyone's progress and power.Written from the perspective of a minority female Millennial, The Likability Trap proposes surprising, actionable solutions for moving through these cultural patterns holding us back. Ultimately inspiring us to value unique talents and styles instead of muting them, and to remember that even when we are held back for appearing unlikeable, we aren't broken by it.

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic


Esther Perel - 2006
    She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself


Nedra Glover Tawwab - 2021
    We all know we should have them--in order to achieve work/life balance, cope with toxic people, and enjoy rewarding relationships with partners, friends, and family. But what do healthy boundaries really mean--and how can we successfully express our needs, say no, and be assertive without offending others?Licensed counselor, sought-after relationship expert, and one of the most influential therapists on Instagram Nedra Glover Tawwab demystifies this complex topic for today's world. In a relatable and inclusive tone, Set Boundaries, Find Peace presents simple-yet-powerful ways to establish healthy boundaries in all aspects of life. Rooted in the latest research and best practices used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), these techniques help us identify and express our needs clearly and without apology--and unravel a root problem behind codependency, power struggles, anxiety, depression, burnout, and more.

Awkward: The Science of Why We're Socially Awkward and Why That's Awesome


Ty Tashiro - 2017
    While modern social life can make even the best of us feel gawky, for roughly one in five of us, navigating its challenges is consistently overwhelming—an ongoing maze without an exit. Often unable to grasp social cues or master the skills and grace necessary for smooth interaction, we feel out of sync with those around us. Though individuals may recognize their awkward disposition, they rarely understand why they are like this—which makes it hard for them to know how to adjust their behavior.Psychologist and interpersonal relationship expert Ty Tashiro knows what it’s like to be awkward. Growing up, he could do math in his head and memorize the earned run averages of every National League starting pitcher. But he couldn’t pour liquids without spilling and habitually forgot to bring his glove to Little League games. In Awkward, he unpacks decades of research into human intelligence, neuroscience, personality, and sociology to help us better understand this widely shared trait. He explores its nature vs. nurture origins, considers how the awkward view the world, and delivers a welcome counterintuitive message: the same characteristics that make people socially clumsy can be harnessed to produce remarkable achievements.Interweaving the latest research with personal tales and real world examples, Awkward offers reassurance and provides valuable insights into how we can embrace our personal quirks and unique talents to harness our awesome potential—and more comfortably navigate our complex world.

The Art of Conversation: Change Your Life with Confident Communication


Judy Apps - 2014
    Why is it some of us are stuck for words, but others blabber or can't stop? What is it that some people have naturally which enables them to converse comfortably and easily, to engage people and build better relationships?"The Art of Conversation "will show you step by step how to converse skillfully and enjoyably with other people, at home, at work, on the phone and in the street- even if you're daunted now, discover the difference good conversation can make in every aspect of your life. Learn to:-Overcome the most common block to good conversation- fear; find out how to break the silence and keep the conversation going- Understand the different types of conversation and how they work- which topics and language are suitable for the occasion- Learn simple methods for being heard and understood, including speaking clearly and audibly, listening well and using non-verbal communication- Find out how to hold a conversation in tricky situations, including how to disagree, how to speak to those in authority and people you find difficult-Use conversation to form relationships, improve friendships, make the sale, chat people up, to learn, influence and persuade.TABLE OF CONTENTSINTRO 1. INTRODUCING CONVERSATION1. Normal and everyday2. The key to many doors3. What this book is and isn't1. THE DANCE OF CONVERSATION1. The dance of conversation2. A subtle human art3. The traditional 'conversationalist'4. What's conversation for?2. CONNECTING IS WHAT MATTERS MOST1. Conversational DrainsEnthuso-boreRobo-choreEcho-boreThe Ego-boreQueen of GossipMoaning Micky and Minnie2. Finding common groundFavourite objects of attention3. Non-verbal connectionBody languageVoice tone4. Energetic connection5. FlexibilityDealing with 'drains'3. GETTING IN THE RIGHT STATE1. Looking at lack of ease2. Managing your state3. Breathe4. Move5. Collecting positive states6. Staying present and aware7. Focusing outside yourself8. Dealing with silence9. Curiosity10. Trusting yourself and others4. GETTING A CONVERSATION GOING - THE BASICS1. Breaking the silence2. Make a comment3. Float in a simple question4. Try a comment followed by a question5. Introduce yourself positively6. Keeping the Conversation Going7. Adding a little extra8. Taking it gently9. Open questions10. Stories11. Dropping conversational clues - and picking them up5. LISTENING1. How well do you listen1. What can happen instead of listening2. Rehearsing your own piece3. Daydreaming4. Pretending to listen5. Non-listening6. Filtering the communication7. Judgement8. Playing the psychiatrist9. Reassuring or diverting2. How to listen well3. Show that you're listening4. Freeing yourself to listen5. Deep listening PART 2: THE POWER OF CONVERSATION6. INFLUENCING A CONVERSATION1. Know your intention2. Leading through connection3. Creating movement4. Influence can be as gentle as a story7. DIFFERENT KINDS OF CONVERSATION1. Thing Talk2. Action talkThe art of small talk3. Head TalkExchange of ideasExchange of opinionsWit4. Heart TalkEmotional supportIntimate conversationRisk taking5. Transparent/Inward/Intimate TalkPresence in Aikido6. Generative Talk/Soul Talk7. Progressing through talk-types8. EXPRESSING YOURSELF1. Expressing you - voiceBe understood Speak with flow Getting rid of useless fillers Expressing interest and sounding interesting2. Expressing you - body language3. Expressing you - your emotionsInfluencing with your emotions4. Expressing the real you5. Dancing with languageFinding a common language Playtime with language Negative language Language Habits Big effect of small words Language of Influence? PART 3: CONVERSATION IN PRACTICE9. SAILING THROUGH TRICKY WATERS1. What to do if you're stuckStop faking it Slowing down Be careful what you ask Know which "rules" you're playing Being flexibile2. Oiling the wheelsComment on what you've already heard Offer a prompt Encouraging nods and grunts3. Spotting the Games People PlayThe status game The manipulation game Role playing Naming the game4. Enjoying disagreement5. ConfrontationsHandling feelings with skill Checking your assumptions Assertive method/Taking the initiative/What to say10. CONVERSATIONS IN A PROFESSIONAL CONTEXT1. Conversations in the workplaceRole playing Small talk at work Negative small talk Meetings, Jousts and Debates Facilitating Group Conversations skilfully/Meaningful conversationsConversational style - Coaching style rather than control/command2. NetworkingBeing the best of you - as written at beg. Of chapter. - Clear/honest Giving and taking Probing questions Abundance Error! Bookmark notdefined.Avoiding the networking nerd - and avoiding being one! Seizing the day Moving on3. Job InterviewsCreating a conversation Busting the men/women myths4. Conversations in the mediaStage-crafted conversations /Most media interviews pre-plannedDesire for black/white Confrontations Media chat If you want something fresh and new, you need time Time factors - no time for conversation to grow Fine media interviews that are conversations Genuine interactions Conversational style solos5. Conversations to create personal changeKey Points Coaching and counselling conversations Building advanced questioning skills Using deep listening skills Bus-stop break-throughs PART 4: CONVERSATIONS CHANGING THE WORLD/ BIG CONVERSATIONS1. Conversations to Change the WorldNegotiation High level conversations2. &am

Unf*ck Your Habitat: You're Better Than Your Mess


Rachel Hoffman - 2017
    Unf*ck Your Habitat is for anyone who has been left behind by traditional aspirational systems: The ones that ignore single people with full-time jobs; people without kids but living with roommates; and people with mental illnesses or physical limitations, and many others. Most organizational books are aimed at traditional homemakers, DIYers, and people who seem to have unimaginable amounts of free time. They assume we all iron our sheets, have linen napkins to match our table runners, and can keep plants alive for longer than a week. Basically, they ignore most of us living here in the real world.Interspersed with lists and challenges, this practical, no-nonsense advice relies on a 20/10 system (20 minutes of cleaning followed by a 10-minute break; no marathon cleaning allowed) to help you develop lifelong habits. It motivates you to embrace a new lifestyle in manageable sections so you can actually start applying the tactics as you progress. For everyone stuck between The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and Adulting, this philosophy is decidedly more realistic than aspirational, but the goal is the same: not everyone will have a showcase of a home, but whatever your habitat, you deserve one that brings you happiness, not stress.

Negotiating the Nonnegotiable: How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally Charged Conflicts


Daniel Shapiro - 2016
    He reveals the hidden power of identity in fueling conflict, and presents a practical framework to reconcile even the most contentious situations. Field-tested around the world, the results are empowering.

Brag!: The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn without Blowing It


Peggy Klaus - 2003
    The renowned communication expert's subtle but effective plan for selling your best asset - yourself - without turning off those you're trying to impress.

Our Iceberg Is Melting: Changing and Succeeding Under Any Conditions


John P. Kotter - 2005
    Fred must cleverly convince and enlist key players, such as Louis, the head penguin; Alice, the number two bird; the intractable NoNo the weather expert; and a passle of school-age penguins if he is to save the colony.Their delightfully told journey illuminates in an unforgettable way how to manage the necessary change that surrounds us all. Simple explanatory material following the fable enhances the lasting value of these lessons.Our Iceberg Is Melting is at once charming, accessible and profound; a treat for virtually any reader.

The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help


Amanda Palmer - 2014
    Performing as a living statue in a wedding dress, she wordlessly asked thousands of passersby for their dollars. When she became a singer, songwriter, and musician, she was not afraid to ask her audience to support her as she surfed the crowd (and slept on their couches while touring). And when she left her record label to strike out on her own, she asked her fans to support her in making an album, leading to the world's most successful music Kickstarter.Even while Amanda is both celebrated and attacked for her fearlessness in asking for help, she finds that there are important things she cannot ask for-as a musician, as a friend, and as a wife. She learns that she isn't alone in this, that so many people are afraid to ask for help, and it paralyzes their lives and relationships. In this groundbreaking book, she explores these barriers in her own life and in the lives of those around her, and discovers the emotional, philosophical, and practical aspects of The Art Of Asking.Part manifesto, part revelation, this is the story of an artist struggling with the new rules of exchange in the twenty-first century, both on and off the Internet. The Art Of Asking will inspire readers to rethink their own ideas about asking, giving, art, and love.

F*ck No!: How to Stop Saying Yes When You Can't, You Shouldn't, or You Just Don't Want To


Sarah Knight - 2019
    Whether you're a People-Pleaser, Overachiever, Pushover, or have serious FOMO, bestselling "anti-guru" Sarah Knight helps you say what you really mean without being really mean--or burning out for fear of missing out.Life is so much better when you say no with confidence--and without guilt, fear, or regret. F*ck No! delivers practical strategies that give you the power to decline, and concrete examples that put the words right into your mouth. You'll discover:The joy of noNo-Tips for all occasionsHow to set boundariesFill-in-the-blank F*ckNotesThe No-and-Switch, the Power No--and how to take no for an answer yourselfAnd much more!Praise for Sarah Knight and the No F*cks Given Guides"Self-help to swear by." --Boston Globe"Genius." --Vogue"Hilarious, irreverent, and no-nonsense." --Bustle

The 100/0 Principle: The Secret of Great Relationships


Al Ritter - 2010
    • If you like "212, the Extra Degree," you are going to love this book! Brian Tracy said..."Eighty percent of life's satisfaction comes from meaningful relationships." Think about it...when you look back at the end of your life what will really matter? Five words...the quality of your relationships. So here's the question: If your relationships are the most important part of your life, what are you doing to make them all they can be? The 100/0 Principle...The Secret of Great Relationships, may be the most important book you'll ever read. The message is truly life-changing. Author Al Ritter is a management consultant who works with CEO's, other leaders and teams, who are committed to achieving breakthrough results. Also, as a professional speaker, Al has delivered over 500 speeches, workshops and seminars. Simply put, The 100/0 Principle is a book that can benefit anyone. It can make your marriage better and greatly improve your relationships with family members, friends, co-workers...even your boss.