There was no one happier in the world than me when I lost seventy-pounds and I decided that I was going to show the world what the new me could do. So I did, and the world laughed. A lot. Oh, well - I suppose I have found my place in this life and I think it's destined to be one step behind the beat. The good news is, it's my beat, and I love it. So come join me and discover what happened when the Empress of Self-Delusion took on the world. Try not too laugh too much, though, eh?This bundle collection includes the following:#1 Learn Pole Dancing#2 Start a Blog#3 Learn to Cook#4 Create a Masterpiece#5 Run a Marathon#6 Go Skinny Dipping

    At seventeen, she’d left Coventry and didn’t look back. But after a messy divorce, she packed up her stuff and drove toward the only place that she knew would accept her. Life hadn’t been easy for Kinsley since she left town. Despite wanting a family desperately, she was childless. She had a college degree but had just been fired… again… She’d spent her entire adult life rebelling against what she was, and that meant hiding her true self from the world. Kinsley left Coventry on a mission to be ordinary. But you know what they say about the best-laid plans… Coventry isn’t your typical small town. It’s home to the most powerful family of witches in the world. Two ancient witch families united when her parents married, and she was supposed to be their leader. Nobody ever asked Kinsley if that’s what she wanted, though. Funny how the universe worked because there she was divorced, childless, and jobless… again… rolling into Coventry in her broken-down car with a U-Haul full of everything she owned. The joyous welcome home party was short-lived, because a dead guy turned up, of all places, behind the diner. Of course, the town’s hunky sheriff starts to give Kinsley the side-eye. But, a lot of people wanted the victim dead, and that only complicates the investigation. There’s a murderer on the loose in Coventry, and Kinsley’s got to learn to harness her powers to avoid the killer’s snare. Oh! And, then there’s Meri, the black cat familiar. Someone decides to grant him one wish for his faithful service to his coven, and it doesn’t go as planned either… Welcome back to Coventry. The events in this story take place thirteen years after the final scene the Wicked Witches of Coventry series. It can be fully enjoyed on its own and is suitable for all ages. You’ll find no swearing, gore, or adult situations, but you will find magic, mystery, and a hint of lighthearted mayhem.

    . . Sage Presley loves her job as the receptionist at Golden Skies Retirement Village in Holiday, Oregon. She enjoys the residents and their wisdom, even if some of them are more than a little quirky. Determined to ignore the matchmaking efforts of two women at the retirement home, Sage’s sole focus is on raising her brother, Shane. In spite of her best efforts, she can’t help but notice the hunky electrician who continually comes to her rescue.Grateful for the opportunity to open his own electrical business, Justin James moves to Holiday full of plans and dreams. He’s quickly drawn in by the close-knit community, but finds the lack of suitable single women disturbing. Despite himself, his attention is captured by the receptionist at the retirement home where he’s working on a big job. Yet, he can’t begin to understand why two matchmaking octogenarians are intent on forcing him together with the woman he’s convinced is married. A sweet romance novella sprinkled with humor, hope, and the meaning of real love, Summer Bride will warm the hearts of readers while bringing them a smile. Scroll up and order your copy today!

    Fortunately Greg's best mate Stu has come to the rescue. Now it's Stu's job to lead Greg down the path of enlightenment, where woman swarm by their hundreds and will pay for Greg's company. Welcome to the Meat Market, where everything has a price, even love.

    Each single-sided page includes such agression-relieving words as 'Shitballs', 'Twat Waffle' and 'Asshat' laid over therapeutic, mandala and nature inspired patterns. The #1 Gag Gift for Friends with a Sense of Humor! Introducing the world's first swear word coloring book printed on black paper. You've never experienced anything like this before. This bestselling adult coloring book features 40 classic swear words. Using this beautiful midnight edition will make your designs vibrant with color. Never again worry about coloring inside the lines... let the black paper take care of it! Unwind and relax with this beautiful coloring book... let your steam loose! What's Inside - 40 Classic Swear Words to Color (see list below) - Beautiful Abstract Designs with Intricate Details - Each Swear Word Is Printed on Black Paper - Includes Free PDF Bonus Inside! Sometimes, you just need to SWEAR at someone... List of Words - Bullshit - Fuck - Piss Off - Asshole - Bitch - Slut - Whore - Cunt - Bastard - Douche - Shit - Damn - Shitballs - Sugartits - Twat Waffle - Baggy Vag - Piss Flaps - Bollocks - Crap - Fuckwit - Fucktard - Dipshit - Shit-a-brick - Wanker - Beaver Dam - Cum Guzzler - Cuntcake - Asshat - Gutter Slut - Skank - Prick - Slutbag - Moron - Fuck Off - Idiot - Twunt - Dickhead - Cockbag - Fucknugget - Cunt Muffin Join the foulmouthed masses and unwind with Release Your Anger. Color designs featuring both classic swear words like -Bullshit- and more creative ones like -Cum Guzzler-. Each page is designed with beautiful patterns, swirls, paisleys, mandalas, flowers, and leaves... color away while letting the steam out. Simply sit back, relax, and choose the swear word that connects with you. Then color in the swear word with your choice of color pencil, pen, marker, and/or crayon. Enjoy mindfulness and relaxation with this brilliant anti-stress therapy, also the perfect gag-gift! This beautiful coloring book features: - 40 Classic and Angry Swear Words to Color - Beautiful Designs with Intricate Details - Designs Printed on Black Paper - 40 Single-Sided Pages at 8.5 x 11- - Includes Digital PDF Bonus Inside the Book Order now and get started. Your inner peace is waiting, and it has some choice words for you. Preview the book at swearybook.com/midnight TAGS: black coloring book, midnight coloring book, black adult coloring book, midnight adult coloring book, sweary coloring book, swear word coloring book, swear words adult coloring book, bullshit book, bullshit coloring book, james alexander, memos to shitty people, calm the fuck down, chill the fuck out, sasha o'hara, james alexander, donald trump

    With colorful art and oh-so-relatable scenarios, Working from Home with a Cat takes readers through a day in the life of artist Heidi Moreno and her pet cat Peanut. From the time she wakes up until the time she goes to bed, she navigates working with her needy yet loveable feline companion, as Peanut walks over her paintings, hogs her chair, disrupts her yoga routine, and more.Despite all the struggles, cats like Peanut are always by our side when we need them, even on the hardest, loneliest workdays. Working from Home with a Cat reminds us why cats are the cutest colleagues and a source of comfort and calm in this chaotic world.• Perfect gift for any cat owner• Features funny and heartwarming scenarios anyone who has tried to concentrate at home with a cat has experienced• For readers who like How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You, Herding Cats by Sarah Scribbles, and You Need More Sleep: Advice from Cats by Francesco Marciuliano

    That is unless Jeffrey, the mischievous Russian Blue cat who led her to the icy body in the first place, can flick his sleek gray tail at the final piece in the puzzle.

    The first avocado pears are appearing at the greengrocer's, people are thinking about carpeting their lavatories and boxing in their banisters, and Ronnie Glover, housepainter, husband and father, is feeling the first vague stirrings of discontent with his life. Then, out of the blue, the fabulous, sophisticated (and married) Jacqueline bursts into his life and teaches him to tango. She seems to offer everything he ever dreamt of. But is it all too good to he true?

    In this hilarious book of tongue-in-cheek poetry, the author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behaviour to ignorant humans. With titles like Who Is That on Your Lap?, This Is My Chair, Kneel Before Me, Nudge, and Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs, the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat authors throughout, this whimsical volume reveals kitties at their wackiest, and most exasperating (but always lovable).

    The struggle is real. Anyone who is a cat lover knows that the cat rules the roost, and that certainly doesn’t change at bedtime. You might be ready to sleep, but you can bet that kitty is ready for just about anything but some shut-eye. Release your frustrations with a good laugh as you read along with Rosa and her struggle to get her cat to Stop Meowing and Go the F*ck to Sleep! Stop Meowing and Go the F*ck to Sleep is a funny bedtime book for all the desperate cat parents out there. If you have experienced the nightmare of having a kitty who won’t let you have a good night’s sleep, this is the book for you. It’s the perfect gift for crazy cat lovers who appreciate hilarious insights into the feline nature.

    Celebrating the grouch in everyone, the Grumpy Cat book teaches the fine art of grumpiness and includes enough bad attitude to cast a dark cloud over the whole world. Featuring brand new as well as classic photos, and including grump-inspiring activities and games, Grumpy Cat delivers unmatched, hilarious grumpiness that puts any bad mood in perspective.

    It's a quirky cultural history, social satire with a twist. Here are letters of congratulation-to newly elected Ronald Reagan ("This is my dream come true!") and letters of outrage-to Pepsi ("Take the Madonna commercial off the air!"). Letters filled with fresh ideas-proposing to Swanson a "Fit for a President Microwave Dinner" series, including the Jimmy Carter Camp David Accord Style Fried Chicken and Grits. And letters of advice-how Coca-Cola should handle the "pubic hair in the can of Coke" reference during the Thomas hearings.And the best part: the replies.CITIZEN LAZLO! Over 100 new letters. We missed you. 61,000 copies in print.

    Over the past year, though, one sensation has dominated the Web: LOLcats. Here’s how it works: First you find a picture of a cat online, and then you add a caption that reflects the cat’s point of view. Just remember that although cats can speak English, their spelling and grammar is not so hot. Once you’re done, you have a LOLcat (laugh out loud cat). Since its founding in January 2007, icanhascheezburger .com (named after the most famous LOLcat of all) has been the center of the LOLcat world. I Can Has Cheezburger? collects 200 LOLcats from the enormously popular site, some classic and some new, in glorious and glossy full color. The book also highlights legendary LOLcat forms recognizable to fans everywhere (including “Do Not Want,” “Monorail Cat,” and “Oh Noes!”), and offers a guide to the finer points of LOLspeak. Packed with witty and endearing images and published into a proven cat-egory, I Can Has Cheezburger? is sure to delight feline aficionados and Internet nerds alike.

    She wants to win at all costs. Of course, she wants to help others, too. That comes second to winning but it’s often a byproduct. Avery is a reporter about town, and there’s no story she won’t doggedly pursue … especially if she can scoop every other news reporter in the Detroit area and claim the glory for herself. Join Avery for three adventures as she takes on the mob, a shock jock with a bad reputation, and a human-trafficking ring that has been at it for years. That’s on top of her usual bouts of aggression with her nemesis Tad Ludington. The game is afoot … and she’s going to win. As long as she survives, that is. This three-book omnibus includes: On Deadline & Under Fire, Above the Fold & Below the Belt, and Oracles & Obituaries.

     Book 22 – Westward Sight. When Frankie Scorrano and D.J. Samuels meet, romance blossoms, but when a terrible illness strikes, leaving behind complications, will their love survive or will it succumb to bitterness and despair? Book 23 – Westward Horizons. Grieving Chief Black Fox meets Beth Langley, who runs an orphanage in Wolf Point, and they fall in love. Can they reach the horizon that promises happiness, or will their path be forever darkened by anger and pride?