The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict


The Arbinger Institute - 2015
    The Anatomy of Peace asks, What if conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause? What if we systematically misunderstand that cause? And what if, as a result, we unwittingly perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve? Through an intriguing story we learn how and why we contribute to the divisions and problems we blame on others and the surprising way that these problems can be solved. Yusuf al-Falah, an Arab, and Avi Rozen, a Jew, each lost his father at the hands of the other's ethnic cousins. The Anatomy of Peace is the story of how they came together, how they help warring parents and children come together, and how we too can find our way out of the struggles that weigh us down. This second edition includes new sections enabling readers to go deeper into the book's key concepts; access to free digital study and discussion guides; and information about The Reconciliation Project, a highly successful global peace initiative based on concepts in The Anatomy of Peace.

Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age


Sherry Turkle - 2015
    And yet we have sacrificed conversation for mere connection. Preeminent author and researcher Sherry Turkle has been studying digital culture for over thirty years. Long an enthusiast for its possibilities, here she investigates a troubling consequence: at work, at home, in politics, and in love, we find ways around conversation, tempted by the possibilities of a text or an email in which we don’t have to look, listen, or reveal ourselves. We develop a taste for what mere connection offers. The dinner table falls silent as children compete with phones for their parents’ attention. Friends learn strategies to keep conversations going when only a few people are looking up from their phones. At work, we retreat to our screens although it is conversation at the water cooler that increases not only productivity but commitment to work. Online, we only want to share opinions that our followers will agree with – a politics that shies away from the real conflicts and solutions of the public square. The case for conversation begins with the necessary conversations of solitude and self-reflection. They are endangered: these days, always connected, we see loneliness as a problem that technology should solve. Afraid of being alone, we rely on other people to give us a sense of ourselves, and our capacity for empathy and relationship suffers. We see the costs of the flight from conversation everywhere: conversation is the cornerstone for democracy and in business it is good for the bottom line. In the private sphere, it builds empathy, friendship, love, learning, and productivity. But there is good news: we are resilient. Conversation cures. Based on five years of research and interviews in homes, schools, and the workplace, Turkle argues that we have come to a better understanding of where our technology can and cannot take us and that the time is right to reclaim conversation. The most human—and humanizing—thing that we do. The virtues of person-to-person conversation are timeless, and our most basic technology, talk, responds to our modern challenges. We have everything we need to start, we have each other.

Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives


Pia Mellody - 1989
    Mellody sets forth five primary adult symptoms of this crippling condition, then traces their origin to emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and sexual abuses that occur in childhood. Central to Mellody's approach is the concept that the codependent adult's injured inner child needs healing. Recovery from codependence, therefore, involves clearing up the toxic emotions left over from these painful childhood experiences.

Healing for Damaged Emotions (David Seamands Series)


David A. Seamands - 1981
    With over 1,000,000 copies sold, it has helped hundreds of thousands of readers deal successfully with their inner hurts.

For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage


Tara Parker-Pope - 2009
    And, surprise: It's good news. We've all heard the statistic: Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. It's enough to make many couples give up when the going gets rough, thinking that's what everybody else does. But what if it weren't true? What if, in fact, it's not only possible but often easier than you think to save a seemingly troubled relationship? These are the questions Tara Parker-Pope asked herself after her own divorce. An New York Times investigative journalist on the health and wellness beat, she turned to some of the top biologists, neuroscientists, psychologists, and other scientists for the facts about marriage and divorce. Those facts were more positive and provocative than she'd ever expected, and For Better offers page after page of astonishing, eye-opening good news. Parker-Pope presents the science behind why some marriages work and others don't; the biology behind why some spouses cheat and others remain faithful; the best diagnostic tools created by the most cutting-edge psychologists to assess the probability of success in getting married, staying married, or remarrying. There are questionnaires to uncover potentially damaging hidden attitudes toward spouses. There are tools to show the impact of routine, fresh activity and how small adjustments can make a huge difference. For Better is the definitive guide to the most profound relationship of our lives.

The Enneagram Made Easy: Discover the 9 Types of People


Renee Baron - 1994
    This witty and informative guide demystifies the ancient Enneagram system with cartoons, exercises, and personality tests that reveal our motivations and desires and show how to put that knowledge to use in our everyday lives.The 9 Types of People:The Perfectionist: Motivated by the need to live life the right way, improve oneself and others, and avoid anger.The Helper: Motivated by the need to be loved and appreciated and to express your positive feelings towards others.The Achiever: Motivated by the need to be productive, to achieve success, and to avoid failure.The Romantic: Motivated by the need to understand your feelings and to be understood to search for the meaning of life, and to avoid being ordinary.The Observer: Motivated by the need to know everything and understand the universe, to be self-sufficient and left alone, and to avoid not having the answer or looking foolish.The Questioner: Motivated by the need for security, to feel taken care of, or to confront your fears.The Adventurer: Motivated by the need to be happy and plan fun things, to contribute to the world, and to avoid suffering and pain.The Asserter: Motivated by the need to be self-reliant and strong, to make an impact on the world, and to avoid being weak.The Peacemaker: Motivated by the need to keep the peace, merge with others, and avoid conflict.

Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America's Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing


Joy DeGruy - 2005
    Slavery produced centuries of physical, psychological and spiritual injury. Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America's Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing lays the groundwork for understanding how the past has influenced the present, and opens up the discussion of how we can use the strengths we have gained to heal.

The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse


Ellen Bass - 1988
    Although the effects of child sexual abuse are long-term and severe, healing is possible.Weaving together personal experience with professional knowledge, the authors provide clear explanations, practical suggestions, and support throughout the healing process. Readers will feel recognized and encouraged by hundreds of moving first-person stories drawn from interviews and the authors' extensive work with survivors, both nationally and internationally.This completely revised and updated 20th anniversary edition continues to provide the compassionate wisdom the book has been famous for, as well as many new features:Contemporary research on trauma and the brainAn overview of powerful new healing tools such as imagery, meditation, and body-centered practicesAdditional stories that reflect an even greater diversity of survivor experiencesThe reassuring accounts of survivors who have been healing for more than twenty yearsThe most comprehensive, up-to-date resource guide in the fieldInsights from the authors' decades of experienceCherished by survivors, and recommended by therapists and institutions everywhere, The Courage to Heal has often been called the bible of healing from child sexual abuse. This new edition will continue to serve as the healing beacon it has always been.

Self-Esteem: A proven program of cognitive techniques for assessing, improving and maintaining your self-esteem


Matthew McKay - 1987
    Without some measure of self-worth, life can be enormously painful, with many basic needs going unmet.One of the main factors differentiating humans from other animals is the awareness of self: the ability to form an identity and then attach a value to it. In other words, you have the capacity to define who you are and then decide if you like that identity or not. The problem of self-esteem is this human capacity for judgment. It’s one thing to dislike certain colors, noises, shapes, or sensations. But when you reject parts of your self, you greatly damage the psycho logical structures that literally keep you alive. Judging and rejecting your self causes enormous pain.Since its first publication in 1987, Self-Esteem has become the first choice of therapists and savvy readers looking for a comprehensive, self-care approach to improving self-image, increasing personal power, and defining core values. More than 600,000 copies of this book have helped literally millions of readers feel better about themselves, achieve greater success, and enjoy their lives to the fullest.You can do it, too!

The Color Code: A New Way to See Yourself, Your Relationships, and Life


Taylor Hartman - 1987
    By answering the 45-question personality profile, you will no doubt gain insight and illumination that will start you out on a thrilling journey of self-discovery while you:* Identify your primary color* Read others easily and accurately* Discover what your primary motivators are* Identify and develop your natural strengths and transform your weaknesses* Improve your relationships with yourself and others* Enhance your business performance"The Color Code" will, quite simply, change your life. It is guaranteed to make a difference in every relationship you have, starting with the relationship you have with yourself.

Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self


Elan Golomb - 1992
    Simply put, the children of narcissist -- offspring of parents whose interest always towered above the most basic needs of their sons and daughters -- share a common belief: They believe they do not have the right to exist. The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways: for examples, physical self-loathing that takes form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Dr. Golomb tells us. With an empathic blend of scholarship and case studies, along with her own personal narrative of her fight for self, Dr. Golomb plumbs the depths of this problem, revealing its mysterious hold on the affairs of otherwise bright, aware, motivated, and worthy people. Trapped in the Mirror explores:-the nature of the paralysis and lack of motivation so many adults feel-stress and its role in exacerbating childhood wrongs-why do many of our relationships seem to be "reruns" of the past -how one's body image can be formed by faulty parenting -how anger must be acknowledge to be overcome-and, most important, how even the most traumatized self can be healed.Rooted in a profoundly humanist traditional approach, and suffused with the benefit of the latest knowledge about intrafamily relationships, Trapped in the Mirror offers more than the average self-help book; it is truly the first self-heal book for millions.

The Myth of Mental Illness: Foundations of a Theory of Personal Conduct


Thomas Szasz - 1961
    "Bold and often brilliant.”—Science "It is no exaggeration to state that Szasz's work raises major social issues which deserve the attention of policy makers and indeed of all informed and socially conscious Americans...Quite probably he has done more than any other man to alert the American public to the potential dangers of an excessively psychiatrized society.”—Edwin M. Schur, Atlantic

Boundaries After a Pathological Relationship


Adelyn Birch - 2016
    It gets to the heart of the matter of personal boundaries. Identifying and setting clear boundaries is vital for survivors and for anyone who wants to become more confident, improve relationships, and prevent victimization.When you create boundaries you take a stand for yourself and your life, and you communicate your worth to others in a real and practical way. This concise and powerful book is filled with practical wisdom and useful tips. It will walk you through the process of creating boundaries from start to finish.You get to decide how you want to live. Find your courage. Live in an authentic way. Protect yourself and what's important to you. Gain self respect and the respect of others. Boundaries will help you do all of these things."The BEST Manual on how to protect yourself from becoming a victim again - I know the subject too well... I am going to recommend it to the facilitators in the divorce support group I am attending.""This small book was full of tons of useful information. I don't usually write in my books, but my copy of Boundaries has underlining on almost every page. I was really glad I bought it.""Excellent Book for Individual, Group or Use in Therapy. A very well written book by an author who has a firm grip on abusers and their cunning ways. Excellent description on what boundaries are, why they are needed and what they can do for the holder of the newly created list of personal boundaries. This book if studied and put into practice could protect many from the narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths in all areas of one's life. It would lend exceptional protection in the area of dating. It would protect a person from repeating the selection of another abuser if a past relationship was abusive. Highly recommend!""Super Helpful: Make And Keep Your Boundaries.This is a really well written book. I found her tips for discovering, recording and keeping your personal boundaries extremely helpful.""My eyes have seen the light. How I wish I would have read this book years ago.""Worth your time! Well written, clear, and concise. So thankful I came across this quick, but powerful read. Having separated myself from an 8 year long destructive marriage, and reading many, many books on the topic, I so appreciate the wisdom I found in this writing. I feel empowered once more! Easily rated at 5 stars."

Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood


William S. Pollack - 1998
    Pollack challenges conventional expectations about manhood and masculinity that encourage parents to treat boys as little men, raising them through a toughening process that drives their true emotions underground. Only when we understand what boys are really like, says Pollack, can we help them develop more self-confidence and the emotional savvy they need to deal with issues such as depression, love and sexuality, drugs and alcohol, divorce, and violence.

The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study


Judith S. Wallerstein - 2000
    Wallerstein sensitively illustrates how children of divorce often feel that their relationships are doomed, seek to avoid conflict, and fear commitment. Failure in their loving relationships often seems to them preordained, even when things are going smoothly. As Wallerstein checks in on the adults she first encountered as youngsters more than twenty-five years ago, she finds that their experiences mesh with those of the millions of other children of divorce, who will find themselves on every page.With more than 100,000 copies in print, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce spent three weeks on the New York Times, San Francisco Chronicle, and Denver Post bestseller lists. The book was also featured on two episodes of Oprah as well as on the front cover of Time and the New York Times Book Review.